Most people who have avoidant don't get diagnosed. Ironically it's not taken as seriously by therapists because it doesn't make loud or problematic behavior.

With that said, avoidant is based on a lack of insight usually caused by trauma or issues in childhood. Basically bad thing happens to someone at criticism times in their life and they learn to expect bad things.

Treatment is usually CBT, which you can buy workbooks for and do it yourself. It basically involves this difficult step of challenging your feelings or thoughts when you have them sometimes. Like if someone pops up and says hello unexpectedly you're supposed to take a deep breath, tell yourself it's going to be okay, and respond, instead of just automatically running away or shutting down.

Usually AVPD is from people with harsh parents and/or someone who faced bullying.

>>34572748
>How do y'all live with this shit?
I avoid it as best i can.

>>34572848
kek

"AvPD" or avoidant traits tends to be maladaptive coping adopted by certain disabilities or personality disorders, e.g. autistics and BPD. It's useful to address those as well as CBT, perhaps anxiety meds

The only thing that's helped for me is being around kind, socially supportive people. Which also involves maintaining a boundary, cutting or weaning out harsh and unsupportive ones. In particular what helps the most is living experiences that contradict the insecurities that fuel my avoidance (e.g. "I'm too weird or boring for other people, I should avoid them because they'll eventually start to bully me."). What also helps is better controlling my more obnoxious social behaviors over time, as >>34572921 kind of alluded to.

This video might give you some insight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW08NoTQI1c

I'm not really cured but I'm functional. I'm more of a loner than most but I I'm not a total schizoid either.
I think I can almost completely heal myself at this point if I do a bit more social training (e.g. toastmasters) and join some local groups/volunteering.

>>34572842
What are some of these workbooks?

I'm 34 and I seriously struggle with it. Professionally diagnosed. Traditional CBT and meds have been useless for me. It's almost impossible to find a professional equipped to handle this disorder. I've had numerous therapists give up on me and stop treatment. Been in psych wards a few times. I go through cycles of trying to get professional help and then giving up because the treatments never help. Right now I gave up again and I'm going through an ACT workbook on my own now and will see how that goes. I've heard schema therapy has a good success rate with AvPD and may try that as well. Millon's subtypes were interesting to me. I resonated with the self-deserting avoidant which combines major depression with AvPD. I was diagnosed with both as well as social anxiety. It's honestly hell. I would strongly suggest avoiding social media as it just fuels suicidal thoughts, at least for me. Mine is pretty extreme and I'm completely isolated and never leave my house. I can't even go to the grocery store by myself. I'm just firing shots in the dark at trying to get better but I know I'll be 40 soon and more than likely still in the same space and it makes me feel hopeless. Not even professionals can help me. Maybe things can change but I seriously doubt it. I've struggled for so long and see no realistic way out

>>34572748
>>Any success stories?
>strict parents in a giga spoiled normie neighborhood
>bullied
>expelled for threatening to shoot one of them
>homeschooled, even more strict
>commute to college, pick STEM or get disowned
>no friends/gf but I do well academically
>work in a lab, stay for a PhD
>autistmaxx, make discoveries, good publications/letters of recommendation
>get a strong biotech job right out of grad school
>several years later still just plugging along with experiments and not talking much

35 here.
you don't. I've become a full hikkikomori. Nothing worked for me

>>34573855
Asian parents are the cause of low Asian birth-rates

>>34574721
I'm 100% ethnic Prussian phenotype actually

>>34572748
wtf is avpd?

Is that why I avoid girls that like me?

How do I get the avoidant woman to stop avoiding me

>>34575231
>wtf is avpd?
Something you have

>Is that why I avoid girls that like me?
Yes

>>34575220
Those genes die with you I guess

so this is why I have huge commitment issues right?
the physcologist girls have told me about this, lmao and I always find a way to push them off before commiting

>>34575238
lol, lmao

learn to love yourself and being alone. i think this is the only way to survive, i've done a lot of work to get better but relationships are only getting harder. at least now i'm able to derive true meaning and joy from other things so i'm not drowning in escapism and depression anymore. ideally become religious if you're not already

I'm trying dbt and forcing myself to reach out and try to meet people and keep engaging at work, it's fucking hard

>>34572748
Well, I'm a suspected FA and the only thing that has helped has been working through it with my anxiously attached gf who is in therapy because I educated her about attachment styles and such before we started dating. Basically every other relationship I've been in has crashed and burned because nobody knew how to handle me but she does great. Otherwise I have no fucking clue.

how can I know if I have this shit

>>34577494
bruh - have you ever seen a doctor?

>>34577495
nah man. I don't like those.
Also, I can't help but lie or distort facts when talking about these things, whatever is going on in my head and heart.

>>34572748
>How do y'all live with this shit?
Literally pretend to be someone else to get shit done.
Put on a different persona. Take it off when done.
> usually caused by trauma or issues in childhood.
Nah, this is bullshit. I inherited my personality from my grandfather on my mother's side. He behaved the same way. I fully understand some of the weird life choices he made.

>>34572842
>Treatment is usually CBT, which you can buy workbooks for and do it yourself.
Is there anything you recommend?
I want to improve myself since I'm going through a rough time.