Hello /adv/I've been in a weird situation for a while now and I'm trying to make sense of anything and I need your help.I was dating this girl for close to 3 years and she had some issues which eventually led to me breaking up with her, I'd rather not go into details since they're irrelevant but at one point I decided I can't be with this woman anymore.I moved on quickly and I didn't date anybody else or anything I just got lost in work and stuff. Some months later I heard she's fixated on one of my closest and oldest friends, a guy I'd known for 12 years. And she displayed that affection in an extremely shameless way, flirting in his comments on all social media, even found that she has a private account on twitter and instagram and he's the only person on it. I spoke to this friend asking him if he's dating her or if there's anything between them since that would be uncomfortable for me considering our friendship, he denied it completely.Fast forward some months later I heard they went out together once and they didn't tell anyone. And then this guy started avoiding me completely, stopped talking to me even stopped talking about me with our mutual circle. I didn't text him or talk to him again since then since I felt he might've decided to reciprocate behind my back or something of the sort.I don't know if they're dating or not at this point or what has happened between them.I get these feelings from time to time that I've been betrayed, I stopped checking their profiles altogether months ago but the thought nags through my head, I still didn't date again after this girl and honestly my self esteem has been almost irrecoverably shot. I know there's nothing I can do about the situation realistically but the feeling of betrayal is not stopping, after all those are two people that were extremely close to me at some point and they decided to choose each other over me.How do I deal with this?
>>34574647She didn't choose your friend over you. You dumped her, and after that she became infatuated with someone else. It happens, and it's none of your business who she dates after you dump her.As for your friend, he would have been perfectly happy being friends with you and dating her, but you decided you couldn't handle that and demanded that he choose between the two of you. This he has now done, and you don't like his choice. But the fact that there was even a choice that needed to be made was your fault, not his. He didn't betray you, you pushed him away by demanding that he give up his girlfriend for you.
>>34574647it's probably intentional, even if they aren't dating she's trying to fuck with your head or get info about your life through him. the public comments on social media were probably meant to be seen. in all likelihood, she wants you to know but he doesn't. I can see myself doing a similar thing if I wanted to screw with a guy's head if I felt wronged by him. her fixation on him probably has nothing to do with him but everything to do with his proximity to you.t. obsessive nutjob
>>34574690I'm not OP, but if she was dating him for three years, she would have met his friends. She could easily have been finding the guy attractive before the breakup but not doing anything about it out of loyalty to OP. Once he ditched her, she didn't feel the need to loyal any more.
>>34574702could be, I find it less likely to be the case considering the shameless public comments she made on his social media accounts.
>>34574689Honestly I would have been fine if I found out she moved on with someone new, I'd be even happy for her.But the fact that she chose a close friend is what makes it weird for me, she also always knew very well that we're old friends. I'm sorry but that just makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and disgusted.Also I didn't force this friend to choose nor did I give him an ultimatum. I simply just asked, no reason to lie to someone unless you know you're doing something weird.
>>34574712Sounds like a bag of snakes dude. I'm sorry that guy did that to you. 12 years is a long as fuck time. People judging you for this are fucking retarded. That girl swooped your friend out of your hands. It's really fucking shitty. That being said, he's at fault too. In a way you dodged two bullets, but the sad reality is you only cared about him, she was already out of your life. The way he's carrying himself with this weird ignoring wishy washy shit is really gay, it shows that this guy chooses female over friend, honestly valid, but shit none the less. I have a feeling I would be that friend too, given the opportunity, but I wouldn't ignore you. I feel like there's some malice here, she's most likely poisoning him, and he's feeling awkward about the whole situation, naturally - he chooses the woman who let's him sniff boobs and eat her pussy hole.Unfortunate man, I'm really sorry.I can only say that let time heal it, don't let the friend get away with it. I wouldn't seek revenge, I'd quietly or verbally detach, depending on your relationship with him, and then I'd let it go. One day, he'll hit you up again, and that day you can take great pleasure in either ignoring him or letting him know that he shat on you when you didn't do nothing wrong so, buddy take a hike. And that day you'll already be past this guy. No hard feelings. I personally don't believe in revenge, but I do believe that this guy shouldn't be forgiven by you. And that he should be forgotten in time. It's really shitty behavior. Snakey
>>34574647While a friend messing with your ex is a bit scummy, what ive learned is that no woman is yours and I don't mean that in a red pill cringe way, I mean that no person is obligated to you especially if you two aren't together. Once a person is single, they can pretty much do whatever they like, its on you not to let it get to you. Trust me, I went through this and I regret wasting 2yrs of my life being petty and hateful instead of just realizing that shitty ppl will do shitty things. Also ask yourself if a friend of 12yrs is worth throwing away because one woman? Chances are they probably wouldn't even last long together due to the circumstances of how they even met
>>34574647First off, if you dumped her then you betrayed her. Now you have the audacity to be upset about her dating someone else just because you know the person? You're extremely selfish. You expect her to just sit somewhere miserable and lonely because you are? That's not how this works bro. You obviously still care so you might as well just tell her that and try to get her back. If not then act like she doesn't exist. Stop getting on their socials and move on. Simp. Get someone else like she did. No one's gonna sit around waiting for you. If you're not gonna be with her then she's gonna be with someone else, whether you know them or not. Your feelings are completely irrelevant to them.
If he told you we were ever friends then he lied.
