it's really hard for me to friends because i cant connect with anyone. i think its unironically because im more mature than most of my peers. ive dealt homelessness and hikkikomoriism for a bit and do all of my chores and errands myself. i take my health seriously and workout regularly because i have no insurance (i paid 1800 out of pocket to get my tooth removed once). dont smoke, drink, or do hookups because my dad loved those and was a terrible person. still cant drive because nobody taught me. in the almost 10 years ive lived in my city ive only made friends in one place which was a homeless shelter. literally everyone there regardless of age or background (lawyers, divorced dads, junkies, military, gang members, etc.) i felt a connection to. most of my peers have not dealt with struggle so they only really care about getting drunk or wasted. they either work decent jobs because their families put them through college or work dead end retail jobs because they live with family that can share rent. i was so close to getting a girlfriend once. but i ended up fumbling it because i could not understand this girl. i asked her out (after a long time of her giving hints) and she turned me down. i started ignoring her after and then she started talking to me (very aggressively) after seeing a different girl flirting with me. but she was still expecting me to ask her out instead of just telling me she liked me. i blocked her and never saw her again. she started dating someone 6 months after i last saw her and apparently the guy is taller and has tattoos which is just a blow to my self esteem. im glad i met that girl but also wish i never met her
>>34583354>dont smoke, drink, or do hookupsjeez and you wonder why nobody wants to hang out with your boring ass?
>>34583401>>34583354OP, don't listen to this shabbos goy.Look up group hobbies. Meet people with similar interests and activities. Get a drivers license, they have driving schools.Keep living in the present.
>>34583415>Look up group hobbies. Meet people with similar interests and activities. Get a drivers license, they have driving schools.what makes you think i havent already done those things? i literally just told you they dont work in the first sentence. ive taken a 10 hour driving school class and it sucked because the instructor was a piece of shit that would yell at me. yeah, he taught me the basics but a lot of driving is muscle memory which you need to practice inside a car (which you need a license to drive). so i need a license to practice driving to get the experience i need to take the drivers test to get my license (damn this whole system is retarded)
Never had to because I'm not an unlikeable faggot lmao
>>34583471So you're an ultra mega deluxe superstar unlikable faggot, got it.
>>34583478Real talk though. I would probably say the issue is closer than you think. Your personality or demeanor probably pushes people away. Take a hard look at yourself and wonder why people may not want to hang out with you. Or you could be a victim for the rest of your life.
>>34583423You know, I think making friends is like a very easy gamblers trap to fall into. For some reason all of us retards you included, definitely you - see the friendship making thing as an activity in and of itself, and what ends up happening is that when it doesn't yield results, we give up, when in reality we were so close to achieving what we'd call success. To be more clear - friend making is a continuous activity. What I notice is that some people are bidirectional and some people aren't, if you're in touch with a person who also initiates talking, hangouts, up for doing things together - that's a friend. If it's one sided then you can decide what you want to do, but people are also varying degrees of busy. So what I'm trying to say is - when people tell you they "have a life", what they're actually saying translated is:"I have many friends who I enjoy to varying degrees, therefore I will pick and choose who I hang out with and why. You are only one of those people, and here is the level you were given"That's why friendships don't blossom in the way you think they would. People categorize, and I know that deep inside you're a sensitive soul who just wants love and someone to hang out with, but many people already get that person in their life when they are a teenager & in school, and usually they keep that person/people around.If somehow you managed to stray out of the norm and NOT have those people in your life into your past-school life, then finding those people becomes harder, but it is still possible. It all depends on your circumstance.For example, I moved countries for my ex, I don't speak the language, natives practically ignore me when it comes to making friends. It's like I'm an animal - nice to look at and interact with for a bit, but we'd never be friends, I'm an animal after all.So my best friend here is a fellow expat, who I met on a hike from meetup.We fill each other's holes perfectly.You need to find that person to fill your hole
>>34583481Too long, didn't read.
>>34583485that last sentence is pretty gay but i can relate to what you say. i moved to this city late in life so i had pretty much nobody and still dont. most people have their friends here from childhood. after that basically impossible. i go to college but cant relate to anyone because they are all younger than me so the reality of adulthood hasnt kicked in for them yet. there is one rock climbing guy that seems interesting but its hard to interact with him because my city is big and i need a car to get around. i think 70% of my problems can be solved with a car desu.
I had a similar experience with homeless shelters. It was easy there. But nothing long term because of the transience. My best friend from those places ended up dying in his late 20s. Then I hit my 30s and half lost all my desire for friends. Not that I'm more interested in women now either, it just feels like the end for these things. I just walk around alone without purpose like a ghost haunting my city
>>34583354I feel you op, I also lived in a shelter, some of these guys are absolute gold.I have no hope to connect with normies, we just don't live in the same world and I've no interest in joining their delusion.Sorry but I won't change myself just to be part of your world. I love myself and I'm not going to kill that part of me.I've tried /soc/ at a time to find non normies fren they somehow succeeded at being worse. And that's when I've given up.Now my only friend is Jesus.
I remember the last friend in person I had told me after like 10+ years of supposed friendship that he only dealt with me when nobody else was around that's just kind of stuck with me since then, shit isn't worth bothering with at any age.
>>34583485Tldr I can see why you're having trouble. You seem autistic af. Connecting with people isn't a science experiment.
Meh. Honestly, most friends are fake, everyone talks shit behind each other's backs, they all use each other in one way or another, be it for drugs, money, sex, shelter, and food. Sure you might meet people you get along with great but eventually the friendship will start to fizzle out and you'll be by your lonesome again. Not saying it's a universal experience, but that's been the case in my life. I enter someone's social life, we either drift apart, or we go through some drama and stop talking completely. Maybe they'll reach out again in a couple of years but old habits kick in and you two stop talking at some point.
>>34583354Life is bullshit and most things we tell ourselves and others are lies. It’s a shame because it almost feels like this world could be so much more, but it just isn’t. I always find it funny that there are people in these sorts of threads telling op to try harder, or to stop being so desperate, no one’s got an answer really.
>>34583423nta yeah most people who get licenses had their parents help them along the way, often to the point they don't even need any lessons to get a license and just need to drive the test. paying for 10+ lessons out of pocket is tough.>>34583500this exactly. i hate myself for being quiet in hs and not making any friends at all. even as adults most people only really talk to their old school friends, i have none of those.
I gave up on everything and I’ve never been more ok with having given up.
>>34583354I'm in a similar situation as you anon, I am 19M no friends. It already doesn't help if you are different from the norm. I'm not going to try to say "I don't need anyone cause I am a lone wolf" because we do need someone. Unfortunately some people are one-sided & I warn you that they'll drain your energy. Some people only want friendships based on transactional purpose instead of an emotional connection, to add onto that some people rank their friends based on how "close" they are which could translate to: "what they can give me". Group dynamics are the worst if you are different, because almost every single time you get outcasted. You have to deal with belittlement from others that are clearly threatened by you.Some other anons will come onto these types of threads & give you the same answer: "go to club,church,gym,etc" but that advice is flawed.
>>34583401Ignore this
>>34583354If you are neurodivergent, sometime moving out of country is the solution, Do not bother pleasing people, It does not work, Consider the travelpill.
>>34583354You don't have to seek out friendships just do whatever you want and if you happen to encounter someone on the way you get along with just befriend them
You are living in your head bro and you lack spirit. You need to go play sports, get drunk, get in fights, have sex, smoke weed. Basically live like Tyrone would. Stop thinking and let your passions move you.
