>>34584435
couldn't sleep last night and feel horrible today. i look like death too. oh well, had a call this morning and WFH for the rest of the day so i will be sleeping on the clock for the rest of today

You're allowed to contact me, there's no no contact order, please contact me, come see me

I believe in a thing called love; just listen to the rhythm of my heart.

>friend troons out
>treat them like all the others that have trooned out last week at con
>friend in question start making posts about how no one respects 'her new persona'
>they don't want to be treated with normal respect they want to be treated like a kawaii neko virtual idol
>what in the fuck

Fuck your darn optimizations.

>>34584435
i increased my SSRIs dosage as per my doctor told me and it feels so bad when they start kicking in. Not my first time experiencing it but I just dont get used to it

32yo male sitting in the bed for the whole day and crying

it is so pathetic I just keep thinking some random stuff like that one vtuber I watch and my brain goes full psychosis mode jumping between 'you are worthless' 'what if you stalk and meet her' 'imagine if you invited her for coffee and you managed to date her' 'she'd find you a pathetic looser' 'youll be alone for the next 40 years have nobody help you when you grow old and die alone'

or 'AI replaces us all and you will have to work full sweat mode laying bricks' 'you will never find a job again if you lose your current one and it surely will happen because you sit on sick leave because you are pathetic depressed piece of shit'

man its so hard all my friends are so succesful, kids being born, building houses, and I cant even clean my room

Please please please just be honest

How could you do that to me? How could you lie about me to everyone? Especially about that? I didn't lie, nor embellish. You did it for you, not for me, or for her... there's no love for me, in you, it's the hatred that was real, the desire to kill and harm and destroy...why...it doesn't make sense, I can't make sense of it...the man on the bench, where is he? I miss him, I need him. Was he ever there?

Fuck being smart. I'm too busy enjoying life for what it is.

>>34584613
Up your butt around the corner.

>>34584582
This is literally the bare minimum and I have yet to meet a guy who is honest. I am honest and loyal (sometimes to a fault), but have never experienced the reciproction. But of course, I have trust issues.
Makes me never want to date.

>>34584623
Same, but I'm a man who has yet to date a woman who can be fully honest with me.

You'll abandon me with ease because I'm nothing to you, you say you don't abandon "people" so you start to see me as a demon instead, not a person. You're just going to take her and leave me to rot.

You won't be satisfied until I'm dead. You wished for my death. Did you pray for it to?

Are you still delighting in my tears, my suffering?

When I was young I did stuff that could have been even jail worthy but laws were lax at the time but also my parents always bailed me of any problem, talked with people and just made the problems go away
and they didn't even ground me or punish me in any way afterwards
I eventually learned that nothing I do will have serious consequences as I don't belong to the social class that pays for the stuff they do
I am for the most part a good person and consider myself a good person, just the other day I won a lot of things in a ruffle and gave aways some of the things I won to kids that were also in that ruffle and didn't win anything, I donate to charities, etc etc
but I still do things that might get me in trouble if known
A couple of times people have found out but since I'm good with them they've just let it slip
I'm perplexed, I do actually feel like a main character in a video game, and I don't know if this was the life lesson I was supposed to learn or if this has any sense at all
I'm enjoying these and stopped caring about the moral contradictions of the things I do, but it's still weird.

>>34584650
Can you shut the fuck up

It was I who was the fool i suppose

My day is always ruined after I see zach on any thread on this stagnant board giving shit advice and zachposting.
When it isn't cliche advice he is just being a little edgelord instead

I knew you would all steal her from me. They were never jokes. I knew it, and played nice despite their glares and whispers and overstepped boundaries.

And I'm the demon?

Is this really what I deserve? At what point was I so foul a person that all that I've suffered and had done to me was right, was earned? That more and worse was wished upon me by someone uttering proclamations of love on the same day? Was I that awful a child?

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>>34584655
You describe having access to protection, persuasion, social trust, and family support that allowed serious problems to disappear. What responsibility, if any, do you think comes with having access to resources that many people don't?

If someone else had done the same things but lacked your family connections or social standing, do you think their life might have turned out differently? If so, what responsibility does that place on someone who benefited from those advantages?

>>34584664
he's one of the worst posters on the board but sadly he's nowhere close the worst poster on 4chan over all
I would like him to stop posting but at least you can read his name and just discard his posts outright
there are some larpers that post demotivational threads around here that always post anonymously and I think those are worse

I miss Rhodie, he was so sweet to me and never let anyone disrespect me.

>>34584737
>What responsibility, if any, do you think comes with having access to resources that many people don't?
that is actually a good question
I've learned to treat people good because I have the peace of mind and the money no not be stressed or worried, also to take these liberties implicit in being me carefully and not overstep things, try to do stuff that would impact no one or if it has to impact people impact it in the least pernicious way possible.
I stopped some big corruption case in a place I was working some time ago but in exchange i put a tiny amount monthly for me and to treat workers under me better
so I stopped a huge flow of cash out and in exchange I opened a trickle to reward me and my people. I was never discovered and was even awarded for saving so much money to that institution.
and like those, many other examples.
>If someone else had done the same things but lacked your family connections or social standing, do you think their life might have turned out differently?
yeah I've seen people end up in jail and ostracized for less
>If so, what responsibility does that place on someone who benefited from those advantages?
to use them sparingly I guess

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>>34584757
I appreciate that answer. What stands out to me is that you seem aware that your advantages can either shield you from accountability or give you room to act more responsibly than someone under pressure might be able to. Do you think that awareness has changed what kind of person you want to become?

>>34584739
I have noticed that most people do not even respond to him.
As for the demotivational threads, 4chan is a demoralization board and changes the brains of people that use it too often, hence the oldfags that tell others to leave while they can.

What did you think would happen from your lies? That you would get her and be free of me? Is that what you wanted? Or was your sole focus to punish as you say you wished to? Could always have someone else raise her, yes, of course. I've never been anything but a role, a supporting character. I'm replaceable. What a fool I was.

is having each others location 24/7 weird?

>>34584767
I'm already 40 so I've "become that person", if it makes any sense. I know I'll still change and still have some growing up to do.
I've seen other people with the liberty to consider the world their playground speed run their way to infamy or at least end up being punished for what they did, and I think that's the thing I want to avoid the most
I don't know, I've always had this mischievous character ever since I was a little kid so I think it was unavoidable I'd end up like this, I just try to control myself and as I said if I do stuff make it the least impactful on other people's lives, in general.

At this point, just because I have your number doesn't mean I'm gonna call you as often anymore. You've already shown me yourself fully through talking to him.
I already felt icky texting you every 3 days, but thinking you were lonely and concerned and you seemingly wanted to get attached to me.
Oh no, you got all sorts of people and at the end of the day, I feel and look pathetic doing that shit with you beyond work related reasons.
I was perfectly fine with you not handing me your number. It bothers me how much you wanted me to use it.

It started off being strictly sexual but then three years later we were sharing a stolen moment together drinking hot cocoa in the kitchenette. My sister-in-law and I had decided that we want to get married. Then we got caught. And we were both pointing fingers at each other.

I didn't mean it when I said this was all your idea
I didn't mean it when I said it was all your fault
You gotta believe me
I didn't mean it when I called you the homewrecker jezebel who set me up.
I love you babe. I'd do anything to get you back, even when you know there's nothing I can give you.

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>>34584836
That makes sense. Honestly, “I’d love to become that person” is a stronger answer than pretending you already are. It sounds like you’re aware that having room to make mistakes can either turn someone careless, or it can make them more careful because they know other people don’t get the same margin.

I don’t think becoming that person has to mean some dramatic transformation overnight. Maybe it starts exactly where you said: controlling yourself, not making other people pay for your freedom, and gradually turning whatever protection you have into protection for others too.

Is Claude haiku 4.5 able to discern actual psychological abuse or is it just going there automatically? Im copying and pasting messages from spouse and it immediately gets very concerned/upset and defines it as emotional abuse and manipulation.

Trying to figure out what's actual abuse and not just an asshole who cant communicate their feelings until they explode and hurt people.

Like sure, I can be horrible - say mean things, shut down, appeasement to avoid conflict. We struggle communicating feelings, due to the history of poor reactions. I contributed to the dynamic - that's facts.

Anyway is the AI able to discern complex human relationships? Or do I have Stockholm syndrome

>>34584946
It's a mirror and a powerful search engine. Possibly spouse is mean. Try to ask it on different ways to see different angles. Ask it to respond with different themes such as neurology, therapy, paychology, pragmatic, unbiased, etc.

If I really mattered to you, you'd make time in your busy schedule to see me. Or let me know when you had time. Or at least stop with the silent treatment.

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I spent 100+ hours developing a virtual synthesiser and I’m having a hard time finding people who want to try it, even though I’m giving it to demo testers for fucking free.
Very disheartening.

I can't wait to leave this continent. Just a few more months. Never looking back.

Hey, sorry if I've been bothering you too much lately. If it's not obvious, I like you a lot, but it's pretty clear to me I'm trying to force something that isn't there. I hesitated a lot at first because of the distance and maybe that sent the wrong signals, or maybe I'm just not the guy you thought I'd be when you approached me. Either way, you don't owe me an explanation, and I'm glad I met you. I just need to back off because trying to make this work is wearing me out. Not your fault. You're a really cool person, and I hope you make it to _____, or wherever else your goals lead you.

>if it's not obvious, I like you a lot
Gawrsh Mickey, that seems heckin' swell

I was SCARED and you punished me for it.

Even now, in some fantasy scenario where I return, it will only be to punishment, vitriol, further manipulation. "Look how I protected you by utterly destroying your character and image to all who will listen, after breaking you down so thoroughly that you would meekly take it."

>>34584857
yeah thing is it's like free candy on a dental office
yes if you take it all or make a scene out of abusing this of course you're getting in trouble, banned from that dental office or some other shenanigans
but in my case i take my fair share of good experiences and just keep ahead, as I said I'm kind to people so even when I'm found people still give me a leeway and a pass, and it's just too good to give up.
but yeah as the years go by I of course try to be good to people around me, it's just that even then there is still leftovers to pamper myself.

I was nothing to you the moment I asked for more than just a hug. You only loved me when I encouraged you and served you and asked for nothing. I suppose I did lie, in presenting myself as someone without needs. Pathetic. Always attempting to make myself smaller, take less room, until I'm fucking nothing.

>>34585303
do not go back to the pos who do this to you

I AM me. Why would you be afraid if I was replying?

Who the fuck is from Arkansas? I have never once heard someone say they were from Arkansas

>>34585471
There are a lot of people from Arkansas who live a few hundred miles to my east. Actually, they're all from Arkansas.

>>34585471
The Hot Springs area and the Ozark Mountains are really pretty. Worth a trip if you get the chance.

highkey want to relapse

>>34585478
The Ozarks are beautiful.

The work culture in the US is horrible.
I am very, very sick. I don't think I've ever had bronchitis this bad. I caught whatever virus I have from, guess who, a coworker.
It's not entirely his fault. The industry we work for punishes you for calling out. He came to work sick, then got sicker the next day and called out. He was then forced to trade shifts with another coworker and still go to work sick because apparently keeping overtime at bay is more important than health and safety. ... Funny, this store has already been in the local news for a hepatitis outbreak a little over three years ago.
The schedule week ends tomorrow. I called out tonight. Meaning if I go through with trading shifts, I'm working a double tomorrow to avoid someone else getting overtime. And I'll still be sick; I'm in my 30's, I'm not a teenager who gets sick and is better within four days. I'm gonna be in this state for another week at least.
I'm not doing shit. I called out tonight. I gave ten and a half hours notice that I'm not going in - if they find coverage, cool. If not, tough shit, I'm too sick to work. Also we serve food so I can't be coughing bronchitis globs all over the fucking tacos.
The boomer generation did this. They made work the most important thing in life to where generations later we're still nervous about calling out when we're sick. To where we are held to shame if we come home from work less than 10 hours after we clocked in. To where we feel guilty about not being tired enough after a shift.

>>34585479
Samesies, on everything at once

I wish my life had gone down the right path

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What karmic debt do I have that I am not allowed to be loved? Hoes be tripping

Yeah. Congrats. You got rid of me. Weight is gone. Ok.

That was the plan. Silly, stupid, worthless me, for hoping, still, despite anything.

>>34585549
>>34585556
Now kiss

>>34584496
I am going to lay on your chest while you sleep. Unless you are awake already. Then I will continue to sit on you.
Now back to staring at keyboard.

A full month, huh. I guess I've waited this long already.

>>34584435
I'm a White European
I enjoy squat shitting, I've been doing it since I was 10 after finding it insanely relieving compared to sitting flat on the seat.
My squatting at the gym is far better too

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You know what? A beautiful woman who has the guts to date and marry me ain't someone settling for less, no she's fucking wonder woman. She's the bravest and toughest woman in the world. To my future wife if you exist, you are fucking wonder woman and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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>>34584435
Recently found out gf was texting dudes on discord years ago. Nothing recent thankfully. She doesnt know i know but she knew I was skeptical of it over a year ago and we talked through her hiding things

What's the point. You're eager to move on, I'm sure you've already found my replacement. Someone who checks more boxes for you. Someone who needs less

it's over.

>>34584496
Literally who?

>>34585769
I know, but it's painful to accept that

I'm not suicidal, I'm just embarrassed, hurt, I feel like my faith is gone and I don't know what the point of all of this was. I feel like I can double down, quadruple down, whatever it is at this point and keep believing you and that you always had good intentions and still do and care about me at least some little bit but it feels like every single sign is pointing the other way and has been the entire time. You won't let me in enough for me to understand you anyway. I really, really wanted things to work out with you.

>>34585526
The big G is cheeky like that

>>34585777
Practically stole the words out of my mouth... I'm sorry you're going through this, anon.

>>34585783
Thanks, I'm sorry you're going through it too.

And yet I fight
And yet I fight this battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to go home

>>34585808
We'll get past it.
But this experience pretty much destroyed my faith in women who are looking to date. I'm going to just focus on myself for a while.

SEVEN YEARS AGO ON THIS DAY

I was experimenting with my ability to find my way back home without GPS after driving several cities over by myself and asking for directions only once

I know you're doing this to me on purpose, finally getting to mete out your punishments, but still I obsessively look for some sign that you're coming to save me. Pathetic.

Breadcrumbing

>>34585834
For months. I'm ashamed of myself for falling for it.

>>34585834
I was about to use the exact same word to reply to >>34585823 because that's what she's been doing to me for months. Or at least what any sane person would tell me she's doing to me, because I'm stupid and refuse to believe she'd do that to me. She's different, or at least that's what I've been telling myself.

>>34585845
Did we talk to the same woman? I had the exact same experience. She couldn't possibly be doing that to me, I thought.
When I asked her why she was keeping me at arm's length, she told me she had met someone else.
I took her out to the beach while she was seeing this guy. Bought her lunch. She was chilly the whole time, and I had no idea why until weeks later.

I gave you as much as I could, despite the loneliness and hurt I felt with you

I really tried

>>34585851
Probably not, it doesn't seem like it's that uncommon nowadays with apps and people desperate for attention and validation. But I didn't meet this girl on an app, and we're older so I figured she wouldn't be so immature. She never told me she met anyone else though, or at least hasn't told me that yet.

>>34585857
?

>>34585862
I didn't meet that woman on an app either and thought the same.
Had a really deep and genuine connection at first. I was in love with her.

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>>34585712
I'm looking for some advice or just to talk through dealing with this. Reply to this or kik xAppleTinix I guess

wait to die

>>34585868
Yeah I thought the same with this girl. Did she approach you, too? That's yet another reason I'm kicking myself, this girl approached me, and I can't tell if it's because she was actually interested and cared or if she just saw me as an obvious sucker (and she was right).

You're right. I deserved it. It was all I was worth, and even then, barely that. I'm sorry.

>>34585878
Nope, I pursued her.
I doubt these women went into this intending to hurt us. They just don't care about our feelings as much as they care about avoiding emotional vulnerability at all costs.
It's easier for people like that to plug their ears and kick the can down the road, behavior you and I are keen to chalk up to anything but what it is: immaturity.
I hope they change for their own sakes and any other men that come their way because god damn dude. This is miserable.

I am a liar and stupid and a demon and used up whore. I ruin people and they give me what I deserve.

I'm bitter as fuck and I hate it. I hate these ugly emotions and thoughts.
I feel like a sentient chemical spill, like I make the world worse by opening my mouth at all right now. I feel like I need an oil fence around my mind.

>>34585890
Good luck working on yourself in the meantime. I've been an emotional wreck for a few days, but I've been making progress on my own pursuits and at the gym in the meantime, as frail as I feel from all this worrying. And as easy as it would be, I refuse to believe all women are like that - I hope you find someone who treats you right and loves you the way you love her. There's got to be someone out there like that.

In the meantime I'll probably hold out hope for this girl a while because I'm dumb. I've got a "let go" date on the calendar in my mind. I keep telling myself it's because she's depressed, or maybe she's been hurt too, and that's why she's like this, but even if that's the case, I'm not in the wrong for moving on and looking for someone who's more emotionally available. I just wish it could've been her.

>>34585896
Why do you think that? If you believe you're a used up whore, you'll act like a used up whore and become a used up whore. Why not believe you deserve love instead? I mean really believe it, not just recite it to yourself in the mirror and tell all your friends that. Find someone who wants to love you and love them in return.

>>34585911
The someone I found confirmed it for me.

>>34585916
How so? And what makes you think that being a used up whore is unforgivable to begin with?

>>34585916
People say all kinds of things when they break up, anon.

>>34585906
>I've been an emotional wreck for a few days, but I've been making progress on my own pursuits and at the gym
Same. I was a wreck all weekend. Cried a lot, slept a lot. I've been writing.
>I keep telling myself it's because she's depressed, or maybe she's been hurt too, and that's why she's like this, but even if that's the case, I'm not in the wrong for moving on and looking for someone who's more emotionally available. I just wish it could've been her.
Yeah, man.
I know it's extremely over with the woman I've dealt with, and what maybe makes me more sad than the fact that she chose someone over me, probably even hung out with him during that same weekend when I paid my last visit, I may end up losing a woman I was also just stoked to become close friends with.

It's over for the world, and it pains me that the only people who properly identified why and how were just effectively erased from the cosmos so true discusion of it was cut off, so on a societal level, something similar has happenned to what would happen to philosophy and history if all books were burned and we all started completely lost in a maze, retards would see a problem and short circuit while they ask what's wrong because they have eternal normalcy bias. Death to big tech forever, you killed God.

I can't deal with my bf anymore. Threatening to dump me over me not wanting kids over 2 years in less than a week after my dog died. Sorry I know I mentioned it earlier but we just fought about it again because we had sex but I felt so icky and sad after and suicidal like he is just using me as a placeholder before he finds his future wife. And I told him about all the birth injuries my brothers and dead sister got and how I'm traumatized and can't have a baby and he just got quiet and went to bed and said he has work tomorrow. I'm so fucking cooked I'm so fucking cooked I am so absolutely fuck-king cooked-dead

>>34585952
Your purpose is to have kids. If you don’t want them you don’t want him. It’s your right, but he isn’t bad for being a functional man.

>>34585931
Sounds like we're in the exact same stage, I've been sleeping late, taking naps, randomly sobbing, and journaling a hell of a lot the last few days. I honestly can't tell if this girl found someone else or just got bored of me, or if she just doesn't like texting, or really anything she's thinking because she never let me in enough to understand her. I'd text to check in on her, but I literally just did.

>>34585956
My sister: normal baby, turned retarded with birth injury that won my family a massive lawsuit, died in her sleep at 9
My brother: developed horrible deformity in leg required surgery and body cast for almost an entire year of his childhood and walked gimpy, massive mental issues
Other brother: autism didn't speak fully until 2nd grade and massively socially disadvantaged
Me: me
Hell to the fuck no will I have a baby with my family history also it risks death

2 months in this place before I'm out on the streets.

Sucks I don't have a really big knife or small katana because I would like to hara-kiri. It feels right.

>>34585960
You're not wrong for not wanting kids. With so much risk in your family history, it's unethical to bring more suffering into the world.

>>34585960
Freeze your eggs and get a carrier. Or adopt!

>>34585970
Thank you. You are the first person to ever say that to me. My own mother still undermines my decision and keeps saying JUST HAVE ONE I'LL RAISE IT. She even snidely said to my bf just change her mind!!! Probably put it in his fucking head. Nobody respects me. Nobody gives a fuck about what I want, ever. I'm just the scapegoat blacksheep female, I'm annoying and too loud and need to shut the fuck up and just do what everybody tells me to do and never complain or have an opinion

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>>34585974
Eat my shit and piss. Or die!

I can't do this

>>34585953
>>34585954
>>34585968
Why do you want to hara-kiri? Whatever you feel shame for will pass in time.

You win, ok? Just come get her so I can leave this useless grave of a body. You win.

>>34585975
You come off as though you have 5 friends that you go to events and parties with and 20 friends on chatrooms and get text messages nonstop from guys wanting to date you. Are you sure you're a blacksheep? Like if you perfectly fit in the role of the blacksheep and no one can question it, I don't think you're a blacksheep. A real blacksheep people question it from all corners and the person even doubts if they are or not.

>>34585982
None of your fucking business tripfag but I have a very small circle. I have a woman only (multiple forms of verification required) discord and my mom. I don't have orbiters because I am autistically faithful in a relationship that's why I'm so fucking upset one of my only supports is being abusive threatening to leave me when I just had to put my baby in the ground I raised from a puppy from 19 to 31 I'm NOT doing ok right now.

>>34585986
I’m sorry about your dog. Have children.

Man sometimes I feel like shit and then I come in this thread or /atoga/ and remember my life is relatively stable compared to some of the lunatics that use this site

>>34585990
Apparently I get drunk and start ranting and crying that I'd kill the baby if I were forced to have it so that's not happening

>>34584496
What the fuck are you talking about? Who are you replying to?

>>34585992
Better yourself

>>34585986
You still don't need to treat random strangers like your punching bag? It's okay. You come off as a guy like me if you get easily triggered by words. Shit. But ya'know being vindictive to people because you can get away with it doesn't even make it easier in your case. Because now I see you are trying way too hard to fit the role of a main character. To be honest you think I have this magnificient amount of power to be ungodly harmful, but I really don't and have as much power as that cockaroach on your wall.

Bottomline, I'm just a cockaroach trying to play around and hoping you're having a good day.

>>34585996
Even serena williams a pro athlete with money almost died in childbirth

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Still am gonna try to enjoy life.

>>34584581
Bro. You need to get the fuck out of your head. You seriously, SERIOUSLY need to get outside more, eat healthier, and get to the gym. Wean yourself off that poisonous shit and still living a healthy life. This will make you feel better. You're probably vitamin deficient with fucked up T levels. Do 50 pushups right now.

>>34585980
I'm a failure going nowhere, I'm probably autistic, I probably dread too much to function properly, I cannot CONCEIVE of hope, cannot imagine a thing I can commit to, and every single thing in life seems some form of suicide, some kind of death of my soul or my entire life as it is currently manifest and that creates a certain sense of dread because I really don't want that. I guess I also don't really have faith.

>>34586030
It's also abundantly clear society is not for me otherwise I would not have been granted such a pathway into failure. 21 years old and I've been offered nothing but the promise of the annihilation of the things I've ever cared about.

>go to kiketube to find out paths to take when you know it's over
>it does absolutely nothing but recommend me normalfag slop about dating (unrelated to my question)
Wow, nice "oasis" of information, you absolute fucking cocksuckers.

>>34586038
Jokes aside it's a bit of a vague search, but I'm pretty sure you once could have gotten something more relevant before the days of things being censored for being """problematic""". I need shit that keeps it real. Counterculture was murdered.

I keep reading those pages, the photos I took. I don't know why. The more I do, the more the rot spreads inside me. I pray it will chokes me.

Like you wanted.

I should give you that, your last request of me.

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I remember my mother singing this to me once when I was a kid.

Seeing as how I barely even had had friends, let alone female ones throughout school, I think she is disappointed, and it is likely for the better I do not get one now.

Dying.

If you were interested, you'd show it. Sorry, but until then, I'm done with you.

>>34585991
Whenever I think I have problems, I imagine the kids that die of some rare brain cancer before ever having a chance at life, then I ask myself what I deserve. Not much.

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coworkers telling me my dad is such a good guy; if only they could see him at home / with family. people are so fucking stupid and i hate them.

Why would I show interest in anything with you when you dropped me and got surprised I left to be a dead ghost for the following months. No I don't want to play video games with you. Go be "busy" and live with your decision.

>>34586182
I don't play video games though.

>>34585991
Yeah and that life is black and white with a side plate of staleness. I don't need your Facebook life where you showed off to your friends you and your boyfriend doing a rock sign while on a jetski. Don't need to be a boomer either. Enjoying life is the best thing to be. Normal is just for people who want to impress NPCs who get off on being a main character. Nah, me I don't need a phone to be hit up several times with thumbs ups and notifications from people validating me. I got a chair and the woods that I enjoy just enough.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE9IchvpOPk

>>34586188
Then this message isn't for you numbskull! To continue, No I don't want to plan an international holiday with you. Why would I do that with someone who initiated the break up and had a foot out the door drama every year like it was a scheduled event. Go live with your day dream fictional romances.

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Never forget.

>"You're the only guy I've known and that's not fair, I want to date around."
>Years together and achieving so much, thrown away bc of dick fomo.

Only a woman could turn what love I had into absolute fucking burning hatred. If I survive my contract or the war ends, I'll just keep it moving to the next conflict that I believe is just or whatever is paying the most at that moment. This is my life now, no more normalcy norman bullshit. I'll either be turned into a fine pink mist or an old man with an even more intense thousand yard stare and a lot of stories. Cya.

>>34586071
Don't die

Is it possible to be willingly more open about the kind of foods you will try?

>>34586256
Yes. So introduction. Mixed with others things the person loves.

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If I knew cutting off those bum ass friends felt this good I would have done it forever ago

You seem to give a lot of power to people who don't give a fuck about you.

>>34586321
Learn how Gandhi gets his way. It's a lot more effective than fighting and intellectual. The pen is mightier than the sword.

>>34586321
She has power over you to make you mad. You stalk her socials to say antogonistic things about the quotes she shares. You’ll reply that you’re not even mad to divert from accountability. We all know you’re her fan and a wounded narc. You’re pathetic using 4chan to talk to someone who set boundaries against you an obsessed stalker.

I think I'd write some good Superman stories...

>>34586321
My bad for assuming you gave a fuck about me.

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Has anyone here ever had sex on cocaine? Specifically men?

What did it feel like?

>>34586363
Glowie.

>>34586321
Nobody truly gives a fuck about anything but themselves. Nobody cares.

>>34586366
It's not illegal to do coke. It's only legal to sell, possess, or intend to buy. Drugs are decriminalized in my area anyway.

>>34586363
it feels like your dick is going to fall off

Who are you, mystery poster that recognises me?

>>34586458
I'm The Nobody, I already told you.

>>34585837
Oh, really? It's not as if you made any real attempt...

>>34586459
What do you want from me

>>34586499
I expect nothing from you except be the person you are. You can even act like I'm not here.

>>34586363
I literally believed I was going to die. It gives you the best orgasms you could dream of but you literally think you're going to die from a heart attack.

he play too much, im too sensitive for this shit

I should hate you. I shouldn't miss you, and your voice when it soothes, nor your arms around me.

>>34586536
That one wasn't intentional, sometimes I can't turn it off. How would I know they would pop up in this thread?

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Avoided her pages for months and months and finally caved and checked them. She seems to be doing well which made me feel weirdly relieved. Despite how she hurt me I never wished ill will on her, once I got to know her she was one of the coolest girls I ever met. But then that wound opened up a bit and I just started thinking about why she’d do that, and what could’ve been or the friendship that could’ve been if the romance never was and I couldn’t help but start crying a bit. I wish things weren’t so complicated within me.

I shouldn't miss belonging to you, I shouldn't miss being called by that pet name you have for me. I shouldn't miss when you come into the room at night and whisper you love me. I shouldn't miss you at all but I do and I fucking hate myself for it, maybe as much, maybe more than, you hate me. I need to turn off the feelings, all of them, but I can't. I'm drowning. I can't breathe.

I shouldn't want to beg for you and your forgiveness, for your love and care again.

I don't connect with people easily. Now it's gonna be even more difficult, after you I can't trust anyone's being genuine. I wanna hate you but I can't even do that because a large part of me still wants you to show up at my doorstep and prove to me that it's a misunderstanding, that this thing that's happening now was just some kind of crisis you were going through because you're not in touch with yourself. I hate this. I hate how anxious I've become.

>>34586633
literally the only thing i wish he'd do rn

>>34586645
I don't connect with people easily either.

>>34586509
fine, i will act like you are not here

>>34586679
That's good. I hope you find the happiness you're looking for, in yourself. And whomever you choose.

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>>34586684
Who said I am unhappy? Sure there are things I am not happy about, but that won't tank my whole life! God

>>34586696
I didn't mean to say you're unhappy. I meant to say "Don't look for it in me, because you won't find happiness in me."

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>>34586711
I don't even know who you are so this problem solves itself! Good for me right?

>>34586714
That made me smile. You're correct.

So I still haven't got past page one in Malazan. It's so off-putting.

34586738
You've posted this for the last month and a half, please kill yourself.

>>34586807
No. Shut the fuck up, pussy.

>>34584976
Capitalisms 101: You need to find out what people want and produce that. Or you need to find out what corporations want that give people what they want and produce what the corporation wants to help them give people what they want. Maybe you UI sucks? Maybe not enough people that would want to use and pay for your synthesizer know about your synthesizer?

You won't even tell me if the cats are ok, you won't even ask about her... that's how much you despise me?

34586812
I'm not the pussy that can't even read a fucking book for a month and a half, yet yap about it.
I accept you yourself confessed you're the pussy. And you should still kill yourself.

While we're ahead, apologize to the trees in the neighborhood for wasting their oxygen on you.

And you call yourself discarded

>>34586865
Imagine having a shtick that is so contrarian that you look stupid even on a contrarian site.

I’ve been slicing up my stomach after any minor inconvenience and it’s getting painful to wear clothes because of it. I think I should go get a therapist or something but I don’t have insurance. I think About killing myself daily. Life is a pain and I just want to get better id be happy if someone would love me but all my relationships are fails and I ruminate on both of them most days on why I wasn’t enough for someone getting cheated on once is alot but twice? What’s wrong with me that im not being chosen

you only care about money

>>34586912
Wrong.

>>34586913
prove it

>>34586915
How can I prove it to you? Did you read it on a civilian dossier? Believe what you want.

>>34586916
you could have said any reason yet you chose to not because you know it is true

>>34586925
I'm going to die in obscurity. Someone who only cares about money wouldn't do that.

>>34586910
Other people's actions are due to themselves and their life-stage. I also want to be happy and don't think I ever will be as happy as I could have been. Please don't hurt yourself. You have anons including me and possibly people in your life that don't want you to hurt yourself. Please deal with the boredom as you can and try to put yourself out there. Stop cutting. I love you.

I CANNOT wait to die tho, but I love a lot of humans and will try to be good while I am here. My life was likely destroyed by people envious of my social options and now I will likely never get as good options again. It's very difficult to live in this state but I hope I find a miracle or relief. I'm trying.

MyMoon
Just because you feel lost does not mean your compass is broken
Remember I love you
You complete me, I complete you
My Heart,Sun

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My mother tried to make a joke about us being a messed up family, like "teehee wouldn't that be a funny thing to say because we're all so normal and happy right" and oh god, the silence

>>34585960
>>34585975
You're right, he should leave and you shouldn't ever reproduce. Holy shit you sound annoying.

>>34587099
Good thing I'm never dating you then!

told my bf if he wants kids so much I hope he breaks up with me meets a beautiful woman they get married and have a baby and it has downs syndrome and he misses the life he couldve had with me every day

>>34587159
The fuck is wrong with down syndrome? Holy shit! Are you even a woman?

A kid with down syndrome is a future welder with a nice apartment that I routinely check on not this odd messed up life?

You know what if dealing with you means dealing with a callous bitch I'd take the down syndrome kid anyday with another woman.

Fucking jackass smart people. Can't enjoy life for what it is. I hope one day they get dementia and forget about their autobiography on how horrible their life is. I hope their dementia is so bad that when someone takes them to a party to have a drink and laugh they remember that not all the negative political crime story bullshit that is overrated as fuck now.

After 2 years I finally meet someone with whom I connect with and have tons of similar interests and that makes me want to better myself, they broke up with me not really for a good reason, told me he still liked me but he just can’t do this right now, now im lost and waiting around like a puppy for him to reach out which is doubtful he will
I hate love

I am so sick of all the people on this website that have absolutely no opinions and nothing to say but respond to you anyways to waste your time. It's 4chan holy fucking shit. Nobody knows who you are on here. Have some courage and respond to me with what you actually fucking think or just keep it to yourself. You can tell I'm a girl and want a girl to respond how fucking pathetic. You have no courage no personality just nothing. Say what you FEEL. Or go on omegle or a discord or something don't just respond to me pretending you don't get what I mean when it's clear as day because you are desperate to feel included. I am sick of it. I miss old 4chan when people were smarter everybody on here is as dumb as a box of rocks now

>>34587319
Take your dog for a long walk to calm down from that.

>>34587333
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef9QnZVpVd8&pp=ygUieW91IGNhbid0IGFsd2F5cyBnZXQgd2hhdCB5b3Ugd2FudNIHCQkoCwGHKiGM7w%3D%3D

>>34587319
people break up on a whim because they feel like it. you could be dedicated to your one true love for almost a decade working every day to one day provide all of their wishes, while they have been harboring secret feelings of love to an idea that you are not and only keep you around as a secured option. Once they play their hand of breaking up everything is shattered, even if they try to back track the reputation is reset. You are less than strangers now.

Worrying about reputation is for crybaby rich people like Hollywood actresses when they cry they got a mercedes instead of a lambo.

>>34584581
If they make you sad it seems to me that defeats the purpose.

@34586889
Nigger, what?
It's gotta be Mike spamming retardation again.

>>34587396
Not me retard

I’m pookiepilled

>>34586930
>I love you.
Ur a retard u can't even love urself how can u love others

Imagine accepting an apology given on an anon image board lol

>>34587419
lol fuck whoever is serving you that load of bullshit

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me thrice, I'm a fucking idiot.

>>34587411
I'm not sure that I don't love myself. I'm not sure I can't love others even if I did not love myself. I think I may love myself but I just don't like my life very much right now, but I am working on that.

>>34587419
Would you even accept one in person without berating me and tearing me down further? You've never accepted my apologies before. You just want to punish.