I'm lost, /adv/.I'm 33 with no education. Not even a highschool diploma or GED. Ever since my mid 20's I've been taking care of my mom full time after her health took a sharp turn. She couldn't walk, she had to be on oxygen, all that stuff. So for the last 6 or so years I've been cooking her meals, cleaning the house, doing chores and all that stuff. My life was focused around her.She died yesterday. This house is mortgaged and it's going to sell. I have no education or training. And I live in a no where town in a country that is experiencing a huge recession.I don't know what to do. There's no real jobs where I live and rent is extremely expensive. I'm on disability due to mental issues but the payout is a pittance(1400 dollars a month when rent alone averages 1000+). Where do I go from her
>>34585137Use the money from the sale of the house to supplement what you get from disability and rent while you look for a job
>>34585147I'm hoping to stay with family since I know at least one cousin has space. I don't think the house will sell for a bit, but I don't know for sure.I'm just staring down the barrel of the rest of my life and I have no idea where it'll lead me.
>>34585137You have an opportunity.You've been forced into it, but it's there.
>>34585181But what am I going to do? I don't have any career ideas or anything.
>>34585137Ok bro, I'm going to try and help but I need some more info.1. are you DISABLED disabled, or just on paper? what is the specific diagnosis?2. Have you tried to get your GED and failed or have you not even taken the test?3. Are you willing to move and live in a shithole for a few years?
>>34585163If you're getting money from the house, then you have time and freedom to focus on education and other matters. If you can stick a portion of that in a high yield savings account, then you're doing yourself a huge favor.
I think you should go after your GED.
>>34585373>1I'm disabled due to severe chronic depression and overweight. I've been working on dealing with both for some time, trying to get a better mindset, trying to work out and ear healthier. It's been hard because taking care of my mom has been stressful. >2I've tried before but my province(I'm a leafcuck) doesn't allow for GEDs, requiring you to complete what amounts to adult high school instead. I tried that but I really struggled with motivation to do the work.>3. Are you willing to move and live in a shithole for a few years?Already live in one. Okay with swapping it out for another.
>>34585455Have you tried fighting the pain?
>>34585459That's kind of the question of my whole life. I struggle intensely with self motivation, and it's been a constant flaw that I've struggled to overcome.
>>34585461OP, what's going on is you have hedonistic friends supporting a negative lifestyle, feeling overwhelmed, feeling discomforted with it, and giving up on it all because it seems too much. OP it's gonna keep piling up until you do something about it like those dishes in your sink. Get through it one by one and you'll be there.
>>34585455Depression SUCKS, I've been there. The only way out is either drugs or discipline, and sometimes 1 won't cut it. Get into an exercise routine and make sure it involves some time outside each week. Be militant about it. Find a family member who will apply social pressure on you to do it. I solved some minor depression just by taking a daily walk and a 15 min a day workout. It helped me a ton.The next step is getting out of your current house. Apparently it is for sale so that will force the issue. You were living in a downright depressing situation for years and it is bound to affect your psyche. A change of place will help immediately. Move in with someone else and try and hold onto some cash. Give yourself some time to heal your mind and then move on to school. It is a straight up requirement to get any job that isn't actual slave labor so its a necessary grind. Pass that hurtle and you are on the home stretch. Get a job "in the trades". Equipment operator isn't that taxing on the body and is massively flexible. If you can avoid showing up drunk and consistently pass a piss test you will do well there. You don't need college and the training (at least here in the states) is on the job. The pay will kinda suck at first but it will get you to a point you can pay for your own home soon enough. You might have to move closer to a city to find work, but a shit ass apartment with a good job is way better than just...rotting away.
>>34585495I've been lifting weights off and on for the last few years. I really enjoyed it because it got me out of the house and I felt like I was doing something positive. I'll try to get back to it but I don't think I can do it today. Or this week, probably.Everything is going to be 'the first x without her'. The first meal without her. The first drink. The first workout. She was so excited to garden with me this year. I had just bought plants for our gardens when I had to call 911. She was so excited to go to the green house on Tuesday. Said it was her favourite time of year. It's not fair that she died like that. Not fair how bad her life was getting. Couldn't walk. Couldn't enjoy her favourite foods because of allergies. I'm happy she's free to do all that stuff now, I really am. But there's a hole in my soul. I was looking into being a heavy equipment operator actually. I just don't know how to go about looking into that. I have so much catching up to do with life.
>>34585620Yeah...losing someone is hard. You never stop missing them, but the feelings scar over. I lost my brother to suicide and I still regret not taking a couple of phone calls. Not even the ones before he killed himself, ones years before, meaningless ones, but still. The pain fades like a tree growing around a wound.Don't let yourself feel overwhelmed. You don't have to do everything at once. Write down what your goals are and then just focus on the next one. The rest can wait. Living with family and having some cash in the bank will help a ton. Ask someone to help you find a savings account that doesn't suck. Shove the money from the mortgage there. Slowly but surely you will make it. You spent years taking care of someone else, that means you are capable of taking care of yourself.
>>34585661I've already scheduled a test for tomorrow to get my L again and then my N. Once I can drive I can look into more expanded work.Not sure about living with family yet. Asked a few questions, they need to get back to me. Hopefully I can work this out while the house processes.What trades are in demand, anon?
>>34585711So, I work in the states but as for in demand trades?The answer is yes. Every trade is in demand. Every motherfucker and his brother went for tech jobs and now that field is shrinking due to ai noise. Meanwhile everywhere housing is in massive demand and there are never enough people to build them. If I had to give a recommendation, Equipment Operator doesn't require much hard math or body damage, but you do have to be able to pass every drug test ever because they are always getting tested. A lot of people can't manage that, so its a good angle. I am a surveyor, but that requires a fair bit of trig knowledge so unless you think you can do some mid highschool math with ease it might be a hard one. Look for the word 'apprenticeship' and you will have an in.
>>34585731I don't do any drugs besides my anti depressants, so on that field I'm covered.It's just that where I live is very dead economically. It's a retirement town for all intents and purposes. Where do you look into training for such things?
>>34585919Good question, again I only know what is avialable in the US, but my journey went1. google apprenticeship programs in [my state]2. learn that there are about 500 different programs and scrolled through all of them to find something I might be good at. 3. Try out for an industrial electritian. 3a. The line to apply was litterally a mile long.3again. Try out for a surveyor4. Get set up with the union, union controls who gets hired.5. Wait about 2 months doing a shit retail job.6. Got hired and started learning how to do the job.Every trade will be a bit different but most will follow roughly that pattern. I really expect there wont be much in your town, but don't move into the city yet. Just make a few long drives out to somewhere populated until you get into a union that looks like it has work for you. Again, Operator is just a suggestion, you might do well in HVAC, or becoming a machinist, or a freggen cake maker. Who knows! just avoid diving on a tech sector job unless you want to learn COBAL and be the youngest person on earth who knows how to code in COBAL,
Getting your high school diploma/GED should be a priority, hopefully you find the motivation to do so.You are likely overstating the severity of the recession depending on where you live.If you are severely overweight, seriously research and consider things like ozempic at this point. It gets expensive but for you it might be subsidized.Also consider anti-depressants if you haven't already.You will likely need to move somewhere more populated with better job prospects, if you can't make something work with your extended family.You can definitely get things on track, it depends on how hard you're willing to work for it though.
>>34586049I applied for a few jobs last night. Hopefully I get one. This is going to sound weird coming from an autist on 4chan but I'm actually very personable and charismatic(this part I'm told), so I'd like a job that focuses that.I'll have to ask for any apprenticeship programs locally. Hopefully we have something. Right now my main priority is getting my driver's license. I always put it off, and especially near the end I was afraid to get it. When my sister had to take our mom places it meant I got a break. I was afraid to lose that freedom.>>34586095>Getting your high school diploma/GED should be a priority, hopefully you find the motivation to do so.I have a fair bit of work experience prior to me needing to take care of my mom, so I'm hoping that can carry me. But odds are you're right.>You are likely overstating the severity of the recession depending on where you live.It's real bad up here in Canada. Grocery prices seem to spike every day. Before mom passed we were scrabbling to keep utilities paid.>Also consider anti-depressants if you haven't already.That's something I already take.>You will likely need to move somewhere more populated with better job prospects, if you can't make something work with your extended familyYou know, I always wanted that. But now it's terrifying.
