I've been friends with this NEET german guy online for nearly 2 years now. I'm american. I was 17 when we met and he was 18. We met on this chat roulette site lol while I was looking for people to duel on elden ring. We did so, I won and we have chatted every single day since, sometimes about nothing, sometimes about life. I've liked him since we first began talking. He hasn't really made it known he likes me back. He is incredibly sweet and funny, we've argued a few times but we worked it out healthily, he seems very comfortable telling me about his family and past (I as well). I don't think he's fake or anything. He's told me before that he wouldn't mind a relationship, but that' it will "come when it comes". I'm not sure his stance on ldr.We're about the same in terms of experience, kissless virgins lol. I've never had a relationship before but I have a feeling if I have to ask, there's kind of already nothing there, yknow? I think our lifestyles are completely different (him being NEET and me pursuing an accounting degree), but I like to think optimistically he will find a path to employment one day. He just seems very unmotivated. I guess if it doesn't work out or nothing happens I'd be happy to remain his best friend :( Is this anything to even pursue?
>>34590504I think one of the reasons he might not be actively pursuing a relationship might be exactly because he is aware that he is a NEET status at the moment, which he might believe is something shameful. He might also feel embarrassed when interacting with non-NEETS. I say this because I was a NEET for a very long time, and I felt ashamed of interacting with other people, even long-time friends, since I compared myself to them a lot.I think for now just keep being friends with him. You can try to gauge his interest, and gently, discreetly try to nudge him into finding a path for himself. But DON'T lay it down too hard. Try asking things like what he likes or would like to do, his interests, that sort of thing.Good luck to you and him both, OP. Hope you guys do alright.
>>34590520Thank you for the advice. I do try to be really encouraging when he goes out of his comfort zone. Recently he's been into therapy, working out, and has been going to see this employment advisor (?) to help him get a job. Last thing hasn't been very fruitful but I do notice a stark difference in his attitude/way he views life (much more optimistically) and he's even shared he noticed too. I guess the big thing is what if he doesn’t feel the same way I do? Feels like a possibility.
>>34590543It's good to hear he is improving his situation. You're both still young, it's common to wander a bit early on, but I think he'll be alright.As for the interest part, maybe you can give some discrete hints you're interested in him? Like mentioning you're not seeing anyone, giving some discrete compliments, letting him know you appreciate his presence, etc.. That might pique his interest. Many men feel reluctant to try and approach girls nowadays, specially for someone who might be more socially distant, so signalizing your availability might help him.Always try your best to gauge his responses. Also, take it easy and let things flow naturally.
actually the more I think about it, the more I believe maybe he does think about me more than he puts on. It's anecdotal maybe but his lockscreen on his phone has been something I drew him like 1.5 years ago, and apparently has been since. It's just a cat meme with his name written under it. He also has a little picture of my dog on there too. He also initiates conversations a lot (we equally do tho). He tells me openly what pisses him off, what made him happy, sad, etc. and he's pretty quick with his replies. I am so retarded though I'm not sure if I am delusional though
>>34590504not to be a spoilsport, but have you guys seen each other? through pics is fine, but the point is, there should be some sort of physical attraction if you are like most people, cuz without that, relationships often break down. but that aside, like the other anon said, he might have some sort of inferiority complex rn due to his neet status, but if he feels comfortable talking to you about all that, then that is already very good. don't read too much into "signs", guys are simple creatures, if he likes talking to you, that means he likes you.
>>34590698yes we have seen each other. In the beginning I was a lot more hesitant about showing myself bc I was like 17 and still growing into my features, but I'm a lot more liberal with my pics now bc I've lost weight and actually feel pretty now. I've seen him once or twice and I don't mind his appearance, I find him very cute. Idk how to describe him but he's your avg looking slightly chubby german guy. The 1 thing we have not done is called, but I say it's because his english speaking is bad. I may or may not ask soon if he'd like to video or voice call but I fear that's like, pushy.
>>34590728Just remember guys who are at all overweight tend to never lose it in relationships by any chance unlike women who at least sometimes do.
>>34590736That's not something I really care about I think. I'm not exactly skinny myself (5'3, 130 lbs). He's pretty adament about the gym recently anyway but even still, I wouldn't care if he was 300 lbs or 150, I really like him.
>>34590504There is no such thing as an "online relationship". If you're able to see each other up close, by all means go for it. But if it's going to be permanently long distance, it's pointless.
>>34591034ye thats what I figured. I would definitely like to see him eventually. I plan to immigrate to germany regardless (for family) once I get my degree in like 2-3 years.
>>34590504online relationship is stupid. literally retarded.nothing good has ever came from itnever has. never will.go outside
>>34590736In my entire 37 years of life I have known 2 women that have lost weight and kept it off. I have known about 30 men who have
>>34591447This. You are both convenient for each other and no one has to sacrifice anything with online shit. You meet this guy in person, everything will quickly change. You will find yourself icked out by every little thing he does because you've built up this inhuman image of a man, and like the idea of a person to talk when you need to more than whoever he is as a whole. If you had any other irl options he would be on the backburner, maybe you need to learn the hard way when you inevitably cheat or break up with him, idk. Get a life and talk to a real person you can meet and be with, and at least get some experience instead of this sham online shit. It will bear no fruit
