Hello, recently I went and saw an escort. I spent $230 on her and was unable to get hard during the entire session. She got very frustrated by it and I felt humiliated. Every single time I've tried sleeping with a woman I either need some extremely kinky freaky stuff to happen for me to even get hard much less finish. It usually takes me forever to finish as a result and ever since I turned 25 I've basically failed to get hard with a woman.Ive never dated anyone irl. Closest I got was a discord relationship when I was like 22 and that didn't last long. I also had to watch porn in another window when we masturbated together to finish. The only times I would be having sex is if I am paying for it. As in escorts. If anything, continuing to watch and over consume porn has led me to not seeing escorts anymore, which saves me a ton of money. It also helps me not be alone mentally since I am now 30 and looking at the dating market it's so bad right now I don't want anything to do with any woman who says yes out of the thousands thha would reject me. The only thing fixing this erectile dysfunction would really do is encourage me to pay for escorts and feel like "the man" every once and a while. But, it doesn't seem healthy. I know porn is bad for me but I also don't see any of the negatives mattering if you are going to be single you're whole life anyways.Anyone have any experience with this? What is the best course of action for me?
>>34592711>Hello, recently I went and saw an escort. I spent $230 on her and was unable to get hard during the entire session.I had this exact scenario play out last week bro I feel you. It's probably due to porn, but honestly just take fucking boner pills and fuck the whore with those.>She got very frustrated by it and I felt humiliated.She's a literal whore who gives a fuck what she thinks. Thankfully mine was nice to me.>Ive never dated anyone irl. Me neither.>Closest I got was a discord relationship when I was like 22 and that didn't last long. I also had to watch porn in another window when we masturbated together to finish. That's pretty bad but whatever.>The only times I would be having sex is if I am paying for it. As in escorts. If anything, continuing to watch and over consume porn has led me to not seeing escorts anymore, which saves me a ton of money. I feel that too. Doujinshi are my main thing and it actually helps with my Japanese practice lmao. I've always like doujinshi. They're funny and extremely erotic.>It also helps me not be alone mentally since I am now 30 and looking at the dating market it's so bad right now I don't want anything to do with any woman who says yes out of the thousands thha would reject me. The only thing fixing this erectile dysfunction would really do is encourage me to pay for escorts and feel like "the man" every once and a while. But, it doesn't seem healthy. I know porn is bad for me but I also don't see any of the negatives mattering if you are going to be single you're whole life anyways.I feel this too. Bro I was finally going out with a girl I met on Hinge for like 3 dates. Wasn't even really that into her but it wasn't bad either. She wasn't ugly. Maybe a little mental but almost all women are. Then out of nowhere she just texts me and says "I'm not feeling romantically attracted to you. Sorry." I'm like ok whatever but it stung a little.
>>34592711You should quit pornography. If you exclude all that is morally wrong with it, you simply are just wasting your time & lack of imagination.
>>34592975>but honestly just take fucking boner pills and fuck the whore with those.The fact i have to take pills to fuck when like 5 years ago i would get hard from a woman rubbing my back tells me something is wrong, very wrong, health wise with me. >She's a literal whore who gives a fuck what she thinks. Thankfully mine was nice to me.Its more that it was such a waste of money and furthermore is the fourth time this has happened. Thats like a grand down the toilet because my dick didnt work. Its also humiliating. Im supposed to be a man, im supposed to have these women laid out drilling them but im not. With one i had to sit back and just jerk my semi-flacid cock to her while she showed off her ass and pussy and desu i probably wouldnt have finished if she didnt pee. We were in the bathroom, she was in the shower and peed on my cock and that never fails to make me immediately explode. Like i seem to be more into pee than i am the woman itself its weird. Regardless i remember being told by a few of them they have never met a guy as young as me with this problem. It just feels like health wise i should fix this but it also has the potential to prevent me from seeing these whores. >That's pretty bad but whatever.I know, she wasnt ugly either. She was 19 and like a 5'2 90lb asian girl with pale skin. I was attracted to her, and i emotionally was attracted to her, but i just couldnt finish with her purely. There was one time i had sex without paying for it and it was a ftm trans man who was 18, just turned 18 and once again couldnt finish with them either. That one was also humiliating. Ive been addicted to porn since i was 9.
>>34592975>I feel this too. Bro I was finally going out with a girl I met on Hinge for like 3 dates. I tried hinge, only way i even got the chance to have a date was lying about my height by like four-five inches and saying i was 6ft and over. Even then it was a slugfest. I got one girl who i found on facebook and every post was some unhinged political thing and i felt like if we ever slept together i would get hit with a false accusation. Ive never been on a date either. Ive had chances in my early 20s but blew it due to low self esteem. Didnt have a chance past the age of 21 to do so though, all and i mean all opportunities dried up around that age. At 30 i dont think women are going to give you the leeway to learn how to date like how they did at 14. Im too old now. Maybe ill find one that is merciful but i doubt it. Any women younger than me has too much competition and any woman as old as me or older is single at that age for a reason. At this point im thinking of just sticking to porn and never having sex again. Im just wasting money and embarrassing myself when i do try. >>34593160Im wasting my time and money with hookers tho. Ive mentioned above the reasons why i am sticking with it. But i am also debating if long term if its a good idea. Like porn has already effectively ruined my life, made relationships impossible and killed potentially amazing relationships for fake women. But its in the past now. Its all in the past now. I cant undo it. And if this isnt going to kill me why stop? If anything since i cant undo the past its almost better to just stick with the choice i made at 9 and continue with it. Sucks, i remember being a kid dreaming about having a family one day, and cuddling with a girl, and doing all this other romantic stuff, and again i had the chances, but porn ruined all of it and now i just live in the aftermath. Some days i wish my parents restricted my internet access.
Your question is about the surface symptoms, but they are manifestations of the deeper cause / illness, so you’ll need to walk it back to fix the source of the problem.The core problem is you don’t love yourself, otherwise you would have never let it get this bad. Your tolerance of this condition shows you don’t think it needs to be fixed , not because it isn’t bad , but because you think you’re not worth fixing or beyond help. That’s false.The solution is to grow a mentality that you’re valuable , so that you can’t tolerate wasting your time or potential.So how do you do it ? By acting in accordance with your ideal self image. Yes, it’s true that our actions define us, and that’s why no amount of “gay pride” or trickery can result in lasting self confidence. The reality of living a degenerate lifestyle shatters the self imposed delusions that it’s ok no matter how hard people try to reinforce it, and the emptiness sets in.That same mechanism which works against you now (knowing how you act and who you are) will help you when you set things right.What holds people back is holding on to little things they feel they deserve, like a simple wank and porn session. They don’t overcome it because it’s themselves they are fighting, the solution is to let those things go, live a better life, be a better man, and reap the rewards for doing so. There is no other way
And yes you can do it. You absolutely can. No matter where you are, you can. If you look deep inside yourself, you realize you enjoy the videos, escaping from your responsibilities and work, and the highs, taking time “to relax”. You are holding on and you haven’t let go. You feel that this problem is something outside yourself and it’s working on you, as if you’ve been afflicted by something and it’s overcome you, but in fact it’s you, and that’s exactly the reason you haven’t “won” this fight, is because there is no winning when you’re fighting yourself. You must let those pleasures go and you will get so much more in exchange. You can’t have both, you can see that, so make the right choice.Let it go deeply. Let it go completely. And do what needs to be done
>>34593722>The solution is to grow a mentality that you’re valuable , so that you can’t tolerate wasting your time or potential.Ive tried growing this and it just creates extreme entitlement which just makes things worse. If i accept im beyond help and bad then well, i just am. Theres nothing i can do about it. Its all that there is, i take what i can get(porn) and continue living because thats all i can do. I cant fix it. But if i believe i have some secret self worth, some secret special trait that makes me entitled to love and affection, then i am going to wonder why i cant get it. It logically makes sense, if i was ever meant for it at this point, i would have gotten it. Since i didnt, its clear i wasnt. So this is life. I live with what i got. The concern now is that ive got to a point where i literally cant have sex anymore which hits me as a man. Like it makes me think there is something medically wrong that could horrifically affect my health later. >By acting in accordance with your ideal self imageMy self image usually is being better than most men. But i am shown time and time again im not. I am in fact so far below the average man in womans eyes that it cant even be explained here. >the solution is to let those things go>Just reach moksha bro >just let go of all attachment and pleasures bro
>>34593757>You are holding on and you haven’t let go. >You must let those pleasures go>Let it go deeply. Let it go completely. And do what needs to be done>bro>BROOO >JUST REACH MOKSHA BRO >JUST LET GO OF WORLDLY PLEASURES BRO >PLEASURE BRO IS JUST PAIN >SEEK SPIRITUAL ENLIGHTENMENT BRO This isnt really solving my question. I am, in fact, too far gone. This is a speech and intervention i should have gotten around 15 years ago and didnt. Its done. Love for me is dead in the ground and rotting for a decade now and porn ultimately killed it. The only chances i had were ruined by porn and i cant undo it, i cant date younger, i cant rewrite the past. Like murder or suicide i made a permanent choice back then to something that was probably temporary so now i have to live with it. My question is long term, what are the effects of this. Like if laying back on porn just results in me spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars on escorts then what good is laying back on it? Will i have some health consequences of just not having any sexual desires towards women? Or not even being able to be aroused by anything other than porn? Im looking at the long term affects of porn and its all relating to if you get a wife or something(which i wont) or sexual violence(my dick literally doesnt get hard anymore i literally cant rape anyone unless its with an object) so whats the point of quitting. Im quitting for someone who will NEVER exist.
>>34592711I suppose if you're really resigned to never having sex again, the more obvious negative effects of porn won't impact you too much. But it does have a very corrosive effect on how you view women generally: you begin to view them as objects rather than as people. If you have to interact with women in any way at all, this isn't helpful.
>>34594344I dont view them as objects as much as i view them as hostile. Like they either hate me or they are indifferent to my life. Either way they view me as below human if they view me at all. And they have demonstrated that their entire lives. Arguably their behavior brought me to where i am now.
Paraphrasing here so please forgive that. You said you periodically switch between a heightened self image and low one (entitlement and humiliation/despair).Despair comes from being a low life, Delusion comes from separating your mindset from your actions, Confidence comes from knowing you are a good man.I think your trying to make my post sound caught up in spirituality, which is fair, I’m not a religious guy of any kind but you must admit that your humiliation and dissatisfaction comes from knowing you aren’t meant to live this way, and how completely and fully you can never accept your current lifestyle even if you wanted to, that you “shouldn’t “ be this way. Doesn’t that point at least in the direction of being here for a higher purpose you are neglecting? It’s absolutely unshakeable, you are here for a reason, live it
You’ve seen that you can’t have both, and you know what you’re trading. You can do it, but you need to take ownership of your decisions by not talking about porn like it’s some person doing something to you. It’s you, and you haven’t given it up
>>34594813The problem is what im trading isnt love or relationships, thats been dead for a while, its prostitutes. Thats what im trading. And to be honest, thats probably a solid trade for the better. I am basically debating do i give up all human contact now, shut the door on that like i had to shut the door on relationships entirely. Im also weighing what the side effects are. Because every living being craves sex, animals fight to the death over it, the only animals that dont are ones that are dying. So am i trashing my health by living like this? Thats the question.Because as far as women go thats not something i can control so this is basically should i quit porn and start working out more and really improve myself to boost testosterone so i can successfully fuck hookers or should i keep living since its easy and saves me several grand a year.
You’re selling yourself so short that i feel i was correct from the 1st post, i suggest you read it again. Your problem is a lack of self love. The theme of less is recurring from needing to do disgusting things like fucking prostitutes and having them pee on you to get off, you’ve internalized it, and you need to stop, and you know it, and beyond that you know there’s no peace or relief down the endless road you’ve followed for how many years. Working out to further that pursuit will inevitably result in yet another failure because of the false premise that such a life could ever bring any happiness or fulfillment. Today you face this truth: We are defined by our actions.A teacher is someone who teaches, an athlete someone who plays sports, a thief someone who steals, a killer someone who kills. This is the ONLY mechanism of escape, and it IS accessible to you by changing your actions to be a man you can be proud of. That is the ambition worth chasing, and it is your task to bring that man into fruition as your duty to yourself, a duty performed with love, a love that will never accept the lifestyle you’ve been living, and you hear and feel it now burning inside you, and you ask how you can extinguish that flame? It will never go out so long as you live. So if you’re going to give up, let go of that futile worthless attempt to put it out, give up your vices and be the man you’re meant to be. Good luck Anon, you can do it!
>>34594943>You’re selling yourself so short I really am not. >and you need to stop, and you know itIts not that i want to stop because im seeing prostitutes, more that ive stopped having any libido at all. I just know thats not a good sign for health usually, especially as someone who is in their early 30s. But, at the same time, i feel like it shouldnt come back, i should keep overusing it and dulling it so i dont see hookers anymore and make all these stupid ass decisions. The rest of what you said is full of assumptions. There is no happiness or fulfillment, just survival and living. Thats what i can expect. Its basically a lose lose situation here since relationships are dead in the dirt for whatever reason. I either put effort into not watching porn(which ive never been able to do for longer than 3 weeks in my entire life) and then fuck escorts(which i dont have the money for if we are being honest, ive been in really harsh money troubles lately because of this habit) or i keep watching porn and trash my libido but i stop seeing hookers saving me money.
>>34593375>im supposed to have these women laid out drilling them but im not.Says who nigga? Yeah I get it, it sucks that you got a soft dick at 30. But I'm starting to think it's a combo of factors. Yeah it's porn and yeah you're older. But until I have a reason (meeting a gf) idgaf anymore. I'm not stopping porn for a whore. Until I have a gf prospect why should I?
>>34595489>Says who nigga? Say biology. Soft dick is supposed to be like an old man thing. I just feel like i went from childhood immediately to middle aged in like an instant. I enjoyed like what, a year or two of feeling like a normal adult and then bang, now i cant even fuck. >But I'm starting to think it's a combo of factors.For me it for sure is. I just feel like my life continues to get worse and worse the longer it goes on. I get more broke, i lose more hair, i lose more friends, i cant even have sex anymore, whats the point of living? Like i fucking dread my future if this is how 30 is looking. >But until I have a reason (meeting a gf) idgaf anymore. I'm not stopping porn for a whore. Until I have a gf prospect why should I?Fully agree except i know myself well enough even if a gf showed up i would destroy it. Ruin the chance entirely. I wouldnt know what to do with her and im just too far gone mentally. I sometimes wonder if i am just destined to kill myself. Like a lot of people had goals of careers and families and they worked towards it and in the background i just silently worked towards my own death.
I have a pretty high sex drive naturally. This kinda happened to me once, I got a girl back in my bed but i was struggling to get it up. Went to the bathroom and looked at some porn and went back and everything was fine. I jerked off twice earlier that day also.Ive never had this issue since. My system is that if theres even any chance of me getting any play on the same day (Whether that be from a gf/hookup or im even going out w friends later that day), I will abstain from jerking off. When I don't jerk off for the full day I find that I never have issues. Good luck OP.
>>34595585This nigga gets it lol.
