How can I be assertive and speak my mind WITH the people that have known me for many years?I've learned a lot of things about myself, and I'm quite an honest and straightforward man, to anyone who gets to know me nowadays. But the issue is, it used to be I was a doormat and a people pleaser and never spoke my mind to preserve the peace and quiet, you all know how it is. So I learned to do that and gained a lot of confidence from the self work that I've done.I'm still a people pleaser and a doormat and don't speak up properly with people who have known me for many years. The best example is at work, I've always rather done more work than cause a discussion with the people who slack at doing their stuff. I want to change that, and I can do that with newly hired people for example, but I still can't do it with people who have known me for many years. It's like I established this doormat dynamic with them and I don't have the resolution and power to change it. It's eating me alive and it's honestly the hardest thing I've ever done, going up to people who have known me for a long time and speak up, when I've never done it and they know me as a doormat.
if you (ever manage to) try to be more assertive at your current job you'll be met with heavy resistance and skepticismif you change jobs it'll be easier. you can still get pushback from assholes but chances are you'll also manage to push weaker people aroundthe first few days are crucial, work dynamics settle in ultra fastI almost got fired from my current job when I entered a shouting match as a newer employee. totally worth it.
Yes, that's exactly the problem.I know that there will be a lot of resistance from everyone that already knows me, if I try to be more assertive and speak my mind clearly. Once the doormat dynamic settles, it's extremely difficult to escape from it, that includes job, family, etc. Even with certain family members that have always known me as a doormat, I've met a lot of pushback even at the slightest hint of establishing some boundaries or being more assertive with myself, my time and my resources.Can it be done though? Or is it all destined to fail?
>>34593097it can be done but it's way harder than starting anew. a way to help would be to accompany that with some social proof you have improved your status. let them see or know you have a new car / home / better looking gf / better job / got fit / etc.
>>34593078Old acquaintances activate old you, activates old thoughts activates old realityBe high energy, bring that energy to old acquaintances, change your old you with energy>how to do itDon't know. A man can never take his own advice
Read the book "Your Perfect Right" .
Yeah ive done that. You absolutely can change yourself thoroughly not just with new folks. I would guess you are afraid that your pastyoupeople will disrespect and undermine your new attitude which would destroy your confidence but you just have to not be a bitch and push through it. If that's the case, then deal with it. Deal with them after they've tried to keep you down, dont keep yourself down. They will get the idea
