I'm a hopeless romantic and I want my first time to be with a virgin so that we carve oursleves (metaphorically) into each other forever as each others first loves. the problem obviously is how I can sus out if a girl is a virgin. I have been on a couple of dates and could never really guess. is there some sign or a question that needs to asked?
>>34594487if she's not attractive, is hard to get to a date, and even harder to get further than the first base
>>34594487It's more difficult with age. How old are you among? I have this question too, I'm 28.
>>34594499I'm not going to date ugly or fat girls... she has to be at least somewhat atractive to me>>34594516I am of the humble age of 21
Give up, guys. There's no virgin women in their 20s, unless they're 400 pounds. But even 400 pounds whales have men in their DMs
>>34594537I have already come to terms with my fate as a forever virgin halfway. it won't matter as much in the longrun since I plan on becoming an orthodox priest in the future and only wanted happy memories. rather none than tainted
>>34594487There is *no* reliable way to tell, no. It's also worth noting that sex between two virgins is 100% guaranteed to be the worst sex of your entire life; is that really what you want carved into you?
>>34594570I do not care if it won't be amazing sex, I care for the sentiment. I refuse to ever give my first time to used goods. I do not mind having relationships and sex with them after I become one of them tho
>>34594570> Dude you gotta let her get fucked by a dozen dudes then she'll be a sex expert when she gets to you Porn addict mentality
>>34594487>hopeless romantic and I want my first time to be with a virginThere is nothing romantic about virginity. The Cult of the Hymen is a meme that is going to guarantee your unhappiness.
>>34594645>implying thing that anon didn't implyIt's easy to pretend to win the argument if you don't bother understanding what is being said.
>>34594499If a woman isn’t attractive, it often means she’s easy and has a high body count. My old neighbor was a perfect example: she was unattractive, lived on welfare with three kids, yet she still had a different guy coming over almost every Friday night. The men would leave the next morning looking ashamed, but she got laid regularly anyway.
>>34594487>I want my first time to be with a virgin so that we carve oursleves (metaphorically) into each other forever as each others first loves.Lmao that's not how it works. You have been watching too many romcom animes. The reality is that you have a 95% chance of breaking up with your first gf/bf.
>>34594487There are a lot of virgin women in their 20s who are attractive and never sealed the deal due to their own neuroticism/ standards. But obviously you have to be a respectable specimen of a man to be the guy to finally get through to them. These women are usually intelligent as well so you need to be too. If you’re decent looking but funny and clearly serious about your life you can probably nail one down.
>>34595242Oh and to actually answer your question they’ll tell you they’re virgin if they’re interested. Most women nowadays think men expect an experienced woman so they don’t know that lying about virginity would help their case with certain guys. To be fair most men don’t want virgins because they want easy pleasurable sex for a night up to six months. If you’re friends with the girl and on the level of being able to talk about relationships you’ll 100% find out without having to pry. Also, maybe your area is different, but NEVER mention wanting a virgin. Just conveniently date one when you find her and keep it under wraps that virginity is a standard for you.
>>34595261>>34595237
>>34594724Different anon - what did he misunderstand? OP never mentioned 'quality of sex' being a factor, the other guy brought it up insinuating that having sex with a virgin as opposed to an 'experienced' girl is somehow a bad thing that will be 'carved into' OP. I think you're pretending like you don't know what's being said for some reason.
>>34595242>>34595261people (friends, women, gays) have called me hot multiple times and my iq is in the 130s is this enouth?>>34595169I don't want some permanent romance anime situation. I only want a flawed inexperienced thing that both will remember and be fundamentally shaped by untill the end of our lives. the idea of somebody shaping me but me not them to that extent repulses me
>>34595497People hardly remember their first times. First times are for the most part pretty shit. If you ever one day have sex you will understand. Now you still have this completely unrealistic fantasy view about sex.
Holy shit, you sound like a loser. Pay a hooker, get your balls emptied and you will realize sex is nothing special. Not some special shit so "that we carve oursleves (metaphorically) into each other forever as each others first loves."
>>34595497You won't be "shaped" by it you absolute fag. You think first sex is some religious experience like achieving Nirvana or some shit?
>>34594645I want the girl I'm having sex with to ride me good. I don't want some lame ass virgin whose pussy can't even get wet enough for my dick to be pushed inside it.
>>34594487Virginity deforms everything, just go to a whore, bust your cock and then try and think and plan etc whatever.
>>34594487>hopeless romantic>can't love a non virginYou're not in any way romantic
>>34594487>so that we carve oursleves (metaphorically) into each other forever as each others first lovesOr just go and have sex with a nice girl you like. Whats causes those weird ass phantasies in the first place? Everyone had their first time at some point, but it almost never ends up being the love of their lives or anything.
I do not understand why people feel the need to talk me out of my ideal. I have considered and already heard these criticisms both from myself and others. if it is impossible for me, I will simply remain a virgin. I still wish to try the one thing I know I couldn't experience if I took a wrong step forward. I only came for advice how to realise it not nagging
>>34594487You're born in the wrong century, my guy. With your standards, you'll likely be lonely for the rest of your life. Just like me.
>>34597750>if it is impossible for me, I will simply remain a virgin.Please do. Then everybody will be happy, especially women.
>>34597750They wanted it, too. But they compromised. They're angry at you and want you to compromise, too. So, they'll feel about themselves.
>>34597767I am not lonely though, I am very happy with my life actually. I have good friends, fullfilling hobbies and am in good health. the only reason I'm interested in this is because I would like to have sex, but I'd rather it be on my own terms>>34597768why are you pretending there's something immoral about having standards? it's not like I want a teen, take advantage of mental illness or use women as fuck toys. I am honestly confused why you have such a problem, can you explain please?>>34597773is it really just this?
>>34597779If you're religious, then why do you not adhere to what the Messiah taught in the sermon of the mount?
>>34597779>is it really just this?for most of the men that are criticizing you, yes. It is the bitterness of regret
>>34597794I am agnostic christian-leaning. I am deeply atracted to mysticism and I wish to help others, thus priesthood is in my consideration.>>34597799so should I just ignore it? also any advice pls? the only thing that I used as a rule of thumb is if a girl had an ex I don't continue going on dates with her, but I'd rather completely sure
>>34597799Nta but also women who are non virgin I don’t even need to explain that cope. There’s a major difference in the psychology of people who refuse to compromise and those who can be swayed in large matters like this. You have the right approach reading your replies. No use arguing it with anyone they will never understand or act in bad faith perhaps unwittingly.
>>34597750Because your ideal is a stupid fantasy, basically. Seems like you're just making excuses for being a virgin desuAt least you don't sound like a brainrotted incel retard, so good for you
>>34597805Ignore them. Every view they have on sex only reveals the true emptiness of their hedonistic lives.You simply need to learn how to listen. Pay attention to intentions and body language. If you can really listen to someone, they'll tell you everything.
>>34597805Very convenient. You'll not find the woman. Somebody who is pure and puts out for you. It is a contradiction. You have to commit yourself to one or the other. Or you're in for pain. I'll tell you, go to a prostitute for sex.
>>34597819thank you. and can I somehow broach the topic of sex or sexual relations safely without causing a stirr and also set a framework in which to properly check?>>34597824sex without emotional connection is just mentally ruining masturbation, I have seen what it has done to others. I refuse
>>34597828Then, you have to two choices. Give up on being a priest and marry, if you've got the looks. Or, secondly, live a life of celibacy. In fact, if you sleep with a woman knowing very well that you'll leave her to be a priest, it is unethical. You're callously decreasing that woman's value for your pleasure. It is against the teachings of Christ.If I am not mistaken, there are exceptions for being a priest in Eastern orthodoxy and marrying. Look into it. But, if you want sex, you have to marry. Or you'll go to a prostitute for sex.
>>34597828It may be best to let the topic come up in a natural manner, don't force it and you'll likely get true answers.And you're right about meaningless sex, don't succumb to degeneracy just because it's the norm.
>>34597837orthodox priests can remain married if it happens before they become one. before you ask, that is not reason I chose orthodoxy. I do not mind marrying the woman I end up with for my first time, if she meets my standards for it she'll already meet the ones for marriage most likely. I would actually be very happy to. though I do find the experience and sentiment valuable on its own>>34597847again, thank you. so it's best to wait for all to reveal itself before escalating? or should I escalate with at least kissing or something more emotionally intimate first? I would personally prefer not to, getting too invested from either side would just lead to hurt
>>34597849Maybe you should make up your mind, are you trying to find a wife or are you trying to get your dick wet once in your life before giving up? By your standards you would ruin that girl's future so think carefully
>>34597849A good way to sniff out a fraud is to ask him about the scripture. Test, if she knows it by heart. If she does, then, in all likelihood, she does adhere to it, too. After all, a fraud would not have cared to study it. Go for a girl in your church. If she likes you, then marry her. Then, after you married her, have sex.
>>34597857I would like to find a wife. what I meant was I am aware it might fail, but even then if it was someone I trully wanted to be with it was a risk worth taking>>34597863it is moreso simply fullfilling my standards one of which is virginity. also you seem to asume I am a baptised christian, that I am not, I do go to orthodox bible classes
>>34597867>my standardsIf you call yourself a Christian, baptized or not, then marriage is necessary. Read up the sermon of the mount. Or the explanation of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7. How you're going to demand standards from the woman, when you don't have standards for yourself? Hypocrisy.
>>34597867you're a selfish, lascivious, miscreant, everyone in this thread can tell you're full of it and have no real religious or christian sentiments or values, and are lying about wanting a wife. You're a naive, horny, hymen worshipping freak who wants to take away what you consider valuable in a woman without committing to her. I weep for whatever church you plan to serve as a self proclaimed "agnostic" priest seeking to take a woman's "virginity" while at the same time seeing nonvirgins as valueless, disgusting. You're not a romantic, you have a fetish.
>>34597880fair, I will read more into this, although it was only a small mention of my plans, considering I'm still figuring out who I want to be. you have convinced to be stricter on myself, thank you>>34598475when did I ever imply I see non virgins as something bellow. also I do not plan on becoming a priest nor a christian if I remain agnostic, obviously that is why I am going to bible classes. if I see that christianity trully wasn't for me, I won't convert
>>34597819Sure, our lives are empty, but not OP's, who is chasing an impossible fantasy for no logical reason.
>>34597779>why are you pretending there's something immoral about having standards?You can label anything you like as a "standard"; doing this doesn't prevent it from being immoral. If you say, for example, "All I want is a woman who lets me punch her repeatedly in the face every day and break her nose once a fortnight" or "All I want is a woman who lets me force feed her until she weighs more than 1000lb" or "All I want is a woman I can keep permanently chained to the radiator who never wants to leave the house" you could just as well rationalise any one of those away by saying "What's wrong with having standards?" And yet they are all clearly wrong. It should be clear to anyone of even modest intelligence that some "standards" are reasonable and some are not; that there is nothing wrong with having *reasonable* standards, and that there (more or less by definition) is something wrong in having unreasonable ones.Requiring someone to have been saving herself up for you before she met you is an *unreasonable* standard to hold someone to. Given that a team of world-leading scientists armed with state-of-the-art scanning and diagnostic equipment couldn't tell whether someone is a virgin or not (because literally NOTHING in a person is either physically or mentally different after having sex once) it is also not a *sensible* standard to hold someone to. And given that any woman who is still a virgin will only be a virgin because she has no real interest in sex with anyone ever, and marrying her will result in a guaranteed dead bedroom for life, it is also not a practical requirement. Given that this: >>34595497>I only want a flawed inexperienced thing that both will remember and be fundamentally shaped by untill the end of our lives.CANNOT HAPPEN, it's a requirement that is based on a fundamentally incorrect perception of how sex works. So honestly, until you have a realistic impression of what loss of virginity actually does to someone, just don't date anyone.
>>34594546>I have already come to terms with my fate as a forever virgin halfway.Why not go the whole way?> it won't matter as much in the longrun since I plan on becoming an orthodox priest in the future and only wanted happy memories. rather none than taintedSo you prize virginity in women but not in yourself? Do you know how many warnings there are in the New Testament about hypocrisy? Plus, as the other anon pointed out, orthodox priests can be married, so long as they get married before they are ordained, and the *majority* of orthodox priests are married.
>>34598475why are you so angry with him? Wanting love and intimacy is normal. Give him a break
>>34598686>because literally NOTHING in a person is either physically or mentally different after having sex oncecopepair bonding is all fucked up afterwards; don't delude yourself + it's also embarrassing for men to have had LESS experience than the woman LOL like this is always going to be in the back of your mind (but you're likely a very solipsitically minded woman, who's not able to put herself in the shoes of somebody else)
>>34594537so the solution is to hit on teenagers?
>>34594570how no pair bonding mfs look at the world
>>34597779Don't let these fags beat you down anon, if you're active about finding a wife, marrying a virgin is definitely possible at 21, especially if you reach out to girls +-2 years. Don't be a gnostic, it's just not right.
>>34598872Pair bonding is not real. Go fuck some hooker and get over these childish fantasies.
The fact that women are born with hymens means there's a way to tell if women are virgins, it points to the goodness of God.
>>34598881I will not compromise myself for marriage by doing this vile thing.
>>34598881https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pair_bond
It is often easy to deduce a woman is probably not a virgin if she mentions any serious relationships in her past. The other way around though, e.g. is she a virgin if she never seriously dated, is undoable. Especially if a woman has decided to pretend she is, there is no way you will know otherwise. Even with the hymen, not like guys will be able to check for that, and blood on the sheets is easily done by fucking on your first day of period or even just stabbing yourself with a needle to draw a few drops of blood. This is even ignoring it IS possible to have an intact hymen and lose it without bleeding at all, so even the blood method is hardly hard evidence aside from being faked easily.
>>34598903some women be like>yes I sucked the cocks of the whole dorm at university but I'M STILL VIRGIN BC TECHNICALLY I DID NOT HAVE PENETRATIVE SEX
>>34598913Well yeah that too, even more extreme, I have (personally) known women that were so aware that their vaginal virignity was prized that if they wanted to tie a guy to them or have sex they would just opt for anal instead. And even without doing anything physical I'm pretty sure most men looking for a virgin would be at least as put off to realize she had sold sexual content online even if she was physically inexperienced. There is just so much you cannot know with certainty, it does not get better than trust that is inspired by what you do know about them.
>>34598783He does not want love and intimacy. He wants to satisfy a sadistic fetish.
>>34598882There is no way to tell if a woman is a virgin or not.
>>34598882Hymens often break before sex is even introduced. Can happen riding a bike. Also some hymens are naturally perforated. I would recommend properly educating yourself about them from medical publications on women's health.
