>going back home to visit family>mom is a hoarder but loves me very much>younger sister (28 with undiagnosed bpd) still lives with my mom and they both fight and scream at each other each day>older sister (30yo) is very overweight and stubborn and now her house is messy too>father divorced in '00 then died in '03>they are all horrible communicators>amongst them, crying, rage, fear, anxiety, contempt is present every other dayI'll have to stay at an Airbnb. My question is, should I even try to fix anything, or just zone the fuck out and hang out in public with my mom for 2 weeks?She is mentally incapable of throwing things out, so that's not really an option.My sisters both seem like they're incapable of changing.What would you do?
don't hang out at all. being around losers just drags you down, no matter how loving they are
>>34594974Idk but I'm saving the peepo to use later so thanks anon. If I feel like visiting family is going to take an emotional toil on me, I do it for one day, ask everyone individually how they're doing and when they complain I go "that's rough" and head out after everyone knows that I'm alive.
>>34594975>>34594980yes, maybe I should cancel my flight, or only stay 7 days, rather than 2.5 weeks
>>34594974Dude honestly you'd be better off just cancelling this trip. I don't know your reason(s) for visiting, but spending any length of time around a BPD girl, a hoarder, and an 'obese and stubborn' girl who resent themselves and one another sounds incredibly hellish. At most, maybe book a day or two at the Airbnb so you can treat your mother to a nice dinner? I'm sorry if I sound callous, I know it's your family, but you ought to put yourself first and avoid the hassle.
>>34595397it will be my mother's birthdayI'm probably one of the few reasons she experiences happiness
>>34595405In that case, you're making the right call by visiting. Regardless of the trip's duration, do everything possible to get your sisters out of the picture while you're spending time with your mother.>I'm probably one of the few reasons she experiences happiness I'm very sorry that your mother is suffering. I can relate to this, because my mother only ever seems happy when she is with me or my sister. I wish you the best, man.
>>34595413cheers dude, good luck with taking care of your mother
>>34594974Don't even try to fix anything, you can't. Just hang out with your mom
>>34594974>mom is a hoarder but loves me very muchShe hoarded you, didn't she?!
Ignore the retards telling you to cancel.I have troublesome family and it's always worked best for me to be pleasant, friendly but distant. Do activities together rather than sit around and talk because talking leads to bitching leads to drama.Times where I've distanced myself completely, the worry has played havoc with me, guilty feelings, etcetera.Just be nice but don't get involved.
>>34594974I'm stuck with some of these issues with my parents but no siblings. If I was you I would get the hell away for as long as you can manage because they will suck you into their problems eventually anyway. You will someday have to either dig them out of a hoarder mess disabled or dead. So you ought to go and live the prime of your life and make money while you can before it's a worse crisis.
>>34595932thank you, yes I will still visitI talked to grok about this and it mentioned the grey-rock strategy, which is what you suggest how to act. Pleasant but distant
>>34596396If your family is anything like mine, they will try to suck you into their dramas. They will try to get you to take a side on different issues they're having with each other, and there will be a temptation in you to take a side because obviously, on some level, you wish they'd change their ways, but indulging it, in my experience, never works.
