hello. i need help dealing with nightmares. i have to start this story way back, when i was drinking a gallon of vodka every four days. i essentially had a death wish, and drank until i physically couldn’t. during the last month of it, i was in such a state that i got almost zero sleep, certainly not good sleep, and just closing my eyes while awake would make intense cev nightmares appear, every time i closed my eyes. i thought my family was planning against me, i would grab my stuff and jump out of the window to hide, i heard my sister, her bf, and my uncle in the walls and i tore them down as they taunted me. this all culminated with me getting dragged by my arms and legs into a van and being forced to the hospital as my family saw me crawling in the mud outside thinking the police were going to execute me. long story short, i did overcome it.this is when i first remember the nightmares starting. it started with the cev sleep deprivation alcohol withdrawn mind. my nightmares for years have strongly resembled them. they are vivid, they are very real, and they feel like they last YEARS. sometimes i wake up and i can’t believe it was all fake. it is all so unbelievably vivid and horrible, essentially very weird or specific things happening to me. sometimes i am scared to sleep. it is bad. i can live with it, but it is bad. when i was young, i “””taught myself””” to lucid dream, and i don’t think that helped it any.i have tried so, so much. sleeping in different positions, different times of day, melatonin, everything you can think of. when i got with my bf it settled for a while, but they keep coming back.i can’t stand it. i can’t take it anymore and i don’t know what to do. i already know i gave myself permanent brain damage via drugs, i know. i can live with that. i can’t live with the horrific nightmares. they last eternally. it feels like months to years and when i wake up i am so out of it. sometimes i wake up crying.1/2
2/2i forgot to add, i also was very addicted to heroin/fentanyl for years, literally got on it right after i got out of the er for my alcohol problem. during that period, i didn’t sleep much, not as bad as during the alcohol, but i would say multiple 2-4 hour naps a day was my constant.can anything be done? am i fucked for life? last night my bf woke me up and told me i was having a nightmare, i didn’t even come to till a minute after i woke where i just snuggled him and he kind of understood how bad it was. it’s horrible. it’s every night. i cannot deal with it.please help me someone.
>>34597495My best friend has the same kind of nightmare problem, so you're not alone! I'm afraid there's nothing that helped her so far though, I was vaguely hoping to find some hint in your thread, so, yeah, good luck anon...
>>34597770that’s okay, thank you. at least i’m not alone.
