I am a British female with autoandrophilia (arousal to thoughts of oneself as a male). I do believe that the primary benefit of being female is to be beautiful, both to oneself and others. While I am not ashamed of my heritage for 'woke' reasons the perverse ugliness of our people makes me incredibly ashamed and unable to achieve this. I cannot look past belonging to an ugly, crass group of people in such a grim country, knowing this is what is in my blood. I wouldn't even say I am that unattractive, but I do look British and I hate that look, The alternative is to live out my fetish. I won't transition proper because I don't want to ruin my body, but I will stop thinking about encompassing this idea of beauty, present as male, and ask to be referred to as such (only around close friends, I wouldn't make a deal out of it). There is no benefit to me presenting female otherwise whilst I will get value of out soft-trooning because I enjoy it and wanting to be male has tormented me for years, my only regret would be being unable to meet that beauty I aspired to have despite knowing it is impossible for me.Obviously this is a very nonsensical and flawed way of thinking and I know that ending up a borderline troon is a bad end, is there a way I can change? I have looked for alternate perspectives but cannot shift my stance on how I feel. I do believe your blood and ethnic origin is a core unchangeable part of you, and I do believe that if I can't be pretty then there is no reason to present as female at all. Is it possible to even change this?
Can’t you just masturbate like the rest of us?
>>34597734I do, but this desire to be male extends from just being something to get off to into regular things like a preference for male aesthetics to having a deep voice (which doesn't exclude you for being a woman but it does get against what I envision as beautiful).
>>34597731Seems like a creative instinct gone awry
>>34597742Mind elaborating?
>>34597731The healthiest path out would be to abandon the notion of identity entirely, and make good character your sole defining feature. There isn't a compassion for men and a compassion for women, there's simply compassion. The same goes for justice, truth, integrity, honesty, charity and every other virtue. These principles are what matter in life, and everyone is equally morally obligated to pursue them regardless of sex or race. Human worth comes solely from them, not from anything else, because your own conduct is the only thing that's under your complete control at all times.And as far as your appearance is concerned, if you have no interest in going out of your way to appear a certain way then you should simply let nature be your guide. Take good care of your body and maintain good hygiene, and you can't possibly be unpleasant to look at. There's no need to "present" as anything one way or the other, simply approach aesthetics in a humble and natural way with no artifice or pretense, and you'll be uniquely you.
>>34597765Thank you for the detailed response. It will be very hard for me to abandon the notion of identity as I have always focused on how I am perceived by others and who I am for as long as I can remember. I will need to rewire the entire way I think. Not that I disagree with you because you gave good advice and I agree completely, but I think it will be quite hard. I'm quite sure I'm a narcissist.
>>34597840It's normal for it to be tough, so try not to let that get your down or discourage you. Even before the modern world became so fixated on identities, it's always been a universal human struggle to set aside notions of self and ego for the sake of selflessness. Self abnegation is the core of Christianity, Buddhism, Platonism, Confucianism, Daoism and practically every spiritual path mankind ever traveled down, and it wasn't uncommon for practitioners to dedicate their entire lives to it because they could see just how much time and effort it was going to take. It'll be difficult, but it'll be absolutely worth it because the reward is a calm and serene life that positively influences everyone it touches.
>>34597731Forget about what outsiders think of your looks. British men will still be attracted to british women. To me the "british look" on women that's unattractive is being overweight and wearing fake tans and tons of gaudy makeup. Get in shape and be your natural self and take pride in your ethnic identity and men will find you valuable.Once you have a boyfriend you can live vicariously through him, fantasize about experiencing your sexual intimacy from his perspective. Maybe he'll even be ok with you dressing up like a dude in the bedroom, personally I would be ok with that within reason. To me you'd still be female and my girlfriend and it wouldn't make me feel gay to indulge your fetish.
>>34598184I can't forget what outsiders think. I believe there is an objective beauty and I do not think the British look is included in that, nor do I care what the men here think knowing what they find attractive. Also, its not just about looks but the shame of belonging to such an ugly peoples and country and knowing this is what is in my blood. I don't want a boyfriend either because I don't feel aroused by the thought of actually doing anything with others, I want to be what I am attracted to and do things alone.
>>34597731I really cant imagine how women live without dicks, i wish god gave women dicks so they can experience a dick-gasm and precum...last week i was so horny talking to another girl the other day, went back home. And i could only think about her, i couldnt sleep, my boxer was filled of precum stains that night, when i managed to sleep for 1 hour i woke up sweating as if i ran 5 miles in the hot summer, my boxer had clear precum stains on it, i did not ejaculate though however when i went to pee my piss was mixed with precum (i guess?), i felt like a male that day, i felt like a boy, i felt like a man, it was good being this emotionally driven, thanks to this lady for making me feel this way, i never knew my body could behave like that
>>34598557Okay
this self-identification shit impractical girlbrain shit brahand trying to be something you're not is a waste of time anyway>a real person builds their identity by doing things>basic bitches dont seem to do this>but men do things all the time and make it look easy>so to fix your weak identity - become a manskip the nonsense and go do stuff to build characterthey'll give you your man-card when you finish a plumber apprenticeship
>>34597731IMO you need to stop believing that being beautiful is the primary benefit of being female, or at least that it's the only thing that matters. It's kind of fucking you up a bit mentally since you're insecure about your looks.
>>34599075Lol women are only good for sex, would you fuck an ugly fat bitch with a shitty body?
