I’m 25 and I’ve been struggling for a long time with how I articulate my thoughts into words.In my head I usually know what I want to say, but when I try to speak or write it down it comes out unclear, awkward, or not quite how I intended. It makes conversations feel difficult and I end up avoiding speaking or engaging too much.I’ve been a shut-in since leaving school and I spend most of my time isolated on my own, usually just on my computer listening to music or watching videos. I don’t really VC or text people. I only really get social interaction when I meet up with IRL friends maybe once a month or so.I also feel like my general knowledge is pretty lacking. I didn’t pay attention in school because I was mostly focused on playing video games all day, so I often don’t have much to offer in conversations or add when people talk about different topics. That, combined with being self conscious about my intelligence, makes me withdraw even more socially.I don’t know if this is down to long term isolation, my Asperger’s and anxiety, or just how I process thoughts. I’ve even wondered if it could be related to cognitive ability, but I honestly don’t know.I don’t really read or write much, if at all, and my vocabulary is probably average at best.I just feel like I can’t express myself properly and it’s holding me back a lot socially and in life.Has anyone dealt with something similar or improved it? What actually helps with being able to express yourself more clearly?
>>3459776435 year old here. I have the same issue. I come as awkward and also I try to speak too fast. Sometimes ideas just merge when speaking and then I just change topic out of random.If fucking sucks and I don’t know how to cure this.At least you know you are not alone in this.
i deal with the exact same. also very isolated since a young age. if it feels possible to you, try to find someone you can feel comfortable talking to to get used to speaking without worrying how you come across. write down your thoughts. journal daily. don't get discouraged if you feel your writing is bad, just stick to it and you'll see improvement quickly. try to write longer things, streams of consciousness, reflections, anything you feel inspired to. if i cant think of anything to write i try to pick something that catches my attention on a walk and write down anything it makes me think of. then go back and revise it. put effort into structuring sentences in an articulate way instead of the disorganized way they are in your mind. you should read, reading will help you write. also, get out of your head. im very aware of how retarded i come across when i speak to people, but i still try and it really doesnt matter. people are less judgemental than you think. but you will only get better if you actually practice. and the only way youre going to acquire knowledge is by making an effort to learn. pick a topic that interests you and read a book or even watch a video on it. take notes where you articulate what youve learned in your own words. learn a skill. if youre decently good and knowledgeable about something itll automatically be easier to talk about that thing. you really dont need "general knowledge", just know a little about things that interest you. people generally like hearing about other peoples hobbies and interests, especially if its something theyre not already too familiar with. granted its not a loser hobby like video games because no one wants to hear about that. ive started learning a language this year and its been a life safer in casual conversation for me. it has given me a confidence boost in both my personal ability to learn, and my ability to converse with people from having engaging conversations, even if the way i articulate is not perfect
I have a sort of similar issue and the only time it cleared up to a degree was when I was on anxiety meds. I spoke just by picking the first thing that came to mind instead of what I normally do which is rifle through dozens of options and quickly try to calculate how the other person might react
>>34597764I don't think having a large vocabulary helps. It certainly doesn't help me. Maybe some of us are meant to just keep it all in
>>34597764 (OP)#>>34597843#>>34597893#>>34598167#Write. Turn it into an habit.Write anything them try to explain what is it you wrote but with different words, to yourself, just to get into the habit of speaking.Explain it as shallowly as you can, then go up, explain to a five year old, explain to a ten year old, explain to an eighteen year and keep going until you reach as deep as your knowledge allows. You then can go deeper if you're interested in the subject or you can move on to write and explain about something else.It would do you good to record yourself while speaking about it so you can listen later and take notice of what you don't like and would like to fix as well as moments of brilliance and reward yourself with positive words about it.I'd advice you to try pen and paper first.If you really struggle to get it going, use an AI app, like google's NotebookLM but instruct it that you're trying to get your ideas out so you become more articulate.Whatever you think of him, Jordan Peterson has great insight on this.
>>34598571While this probably came from a good place, I can safely assert that writing does not help at all. I'm similar to OP (24) with being a shut in since 16, not attending uni before dropping out, and supplicating an inexistent social life with copious amounts of youtube. I find that I'm competent when it comes to writing or typing down ideas, but that it all goes out of the window when I have to speak, my brain shuts off completely. If I'm not in top form socially, I can barely hold a conversation with people I know and meet with regularly. Trying to paraphrase conversations or stories or jokes to family members always ends terribly, and end up telling meandering stories without a point, full of pauses, in a monotone voice, even speaking to myself outloud, while my phone is recording results in this. There's a strong disconnect between my mind and my mouth, and they cannot operate together. I've always avoided VCing also.
>>34597764It's even worse when you try to speak a second language you aren't fluent in. You know what want to say, but you keep stuttering while trying to find the right thing to say, but you feel as if there's more pressure being put onto you.
