Got this dickhead coworker that I can't fucking stand. He goes on about how God is good and whatever but scams people and brags about it. What did it for me is he groped one of my coworkers.I'd prefer not doing anything that could implicate me irl (maybe one day I'll slash his tires). I've got basic info like name, address, and phone number, including his wife's. Any ideas?
>>34598325Groping people is generally a crime that’ll get you put on the registry. But that’s in the us I don’t know where you’re from. If you just wanna fuck with him John Tucker must die style I don’t know what to tell you. Clearly this guy is an idiot so you can probably just wait for him to mouth off to the wrong person and get his ass kicked. People like this are consequences waiting to happen there’s no reason to risk your position in order to be his comeuppance.
this sounds like somewhere in latin america
>>34598367Eh, one time he spilled monster on me so I've got some personal stake in this.
>>34598371Houston, Texas unfortunately. Hate this fucking place.
>>34598374>>34598379Then shoot him. Thats LITERALLY battery, spilling a foreign liquid on a person. You didn’t know what was in that can and you stood your ground
>>34598379Is the guy is in one of those weird moneyfocused Christian sects?
>>34598384Probably. He runs this charity called Hope Drives and it's total bullshit. It has to be a tax evasion thing since all he does is rip people off.
You should complain to management or take it up with some regulatory body
>>34598388Get it audited it’s your civic duty
>>34598393I already tried and they don't give a fuck since he goes to the same church as them. My coworker doesn't want to pursue anything so it would just be my word against his.
>>34598396I sent an investigation request with the IRS and the Texas AG but I have a feeling I won't hear anything from them any time soon. I did sign him up for some bullshit newsletters though.
If he's in some evangelical sect then come in with some large catholic Mary neckchain and speak some Latin phrases. In saecula saeculorum
>>34598325There's two ways to go about this: Option #1 is 'death by a thousand cuts.' Shit like: writing his phone number on bathroom stalls with some sort of gay innuendo, signing him up for spam, etc. Option #2 is 'the world cutting slash.' It is a single, ultimate act that would change the trajectory of his life. For example: paying an escort to show up to his house and cause a scene (ex. "pretend like you're pissed off because you found out he was married to <wife's name> and you're just a sidepiece"). Wouldn't recommend the second option because it constitutes as defamation and there's a decent chance you'd get caught (which would most likely lead to you getting fired from your job and/or sued) unless you planned every detail meticulously for weeks.
>>34598325Making threads threads like this is why she left you and is not your fiance any more
>>34598404>try to overcome evangelicals as a papistWorked great for nazi germany and fascist italy
>>34598325What concerns me is the first (and therefore main) issue you claim to have with this man isn't that he supposedly groped your coworker, or the scamming, but that he merely talks about God. Is this actually the primary issue?
>>34598382>Then shoot him.
>>34598325This is how I handle these people. We're going to kill him with kindness... (Hear me out.)Tomorrow when you go into work, put on your best "Nice-guy" face. Use your most charismatic voice. Be loud, light, jovial, and "Funny". Don't do it all at once, add a little bit each day.Now, whenever you see him, cut him off and say hello to him. Announce his arrival. "Oh, it's this guy!", "Hey, it's Big Guy again!", "Woaho! Watch out guys! It's Big Fella comin' through!". Also, get handsy with him. Every time you see him, nudge him. Pat his shoulder. Get in his personal space. Whenever he talks, cut him off. Be ready with the next part of the conversation before he even finishes. Whenever he talks, openly look at your other coworkers and shake your head. Smirk. "Get a loud of this guy."In private, copy what he says. This passive aggressive hostility will set him on edge. If he says that he's gonna watch the big game tonight, tell him, "Oh, the big game? You're gonna watch that tonight?" Make him repeat himself.Whenever he talks about god, you gotta one up him. Go find an obscure piece of scripture that's really vague yet ubiquitous. Philippians 4:13 is a good one, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And ask him about it. Whatever he says, cut him off and start talking about how that line is often taken out of context. Then give him a knowing smile and say, "Sounds like someone needs to do some more reading."Give him no quarter. When he does something good, downplay it. When he does something bad, emphasize it. When he does nothing, point it out with a little joke. When he gets mad, make a joke of it. If he gropes women, talk loudly to your coworkers about equality in the workplace.This takes practice, but over time you will slowly become the reason why he hates work. He'll be looking in the morning every day fighting tears because it's another day that he has to go in and let you make jokes about him in front of others.
>>34598325i think you need to ask yourself why any of this actually bothers you and be honest with your answer.You say him talking about god annoys you because he isnt acting in a way you consider moral, but if you actually cared about religion or morality you wouldnt be considering the things you're thinking of doing to him..You say that what really set you off is he groped a coworker. being upset about this is normal but jumping to slashing his tires or doing something to his wife or his house is an extreme jump. Are you romantically interested in the person he groped and maybe feeling jealous or that you need to defend her honor? I think it's one thing to dislike a coworker but the things you're thinking of doing are extreme and could end very poorly for you.
>>34598382>euros proving why they cant have guns
sign him up for scientology. theyll never stop harassing him
>>34602994Do this, and also sign him up for Jehova's Witnesses and mormon in your area. Emphasize that he has a ton of money and that he recently has felt like he wants to make a big change in the world, but doesn't know how/why.
>>34598325Leave him be. Or fart on him
