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I am a guy but I once stayed at a hostel and woke up with a sore asshole and got paranoid I was raped ever since. I don't know if I was or wasn't but I have OCD and my intrusive thoughts take the better of me sometimes

How can I deal with the idea of having been raped and feeling less of a man?
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>>34598753
Manhood comes from integrity, honesty, valor, compassion, justice and charity. Some of the best men in history have been beheaded or tortured to death, which didn't diminish their manhood one bit. If Maximus the Confessor could have his hands cut off and his tongue plucked out without losing anything that was essential to him, then how could somebody molesting you while you were asleep have any bearing on what kind of man you are?
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>>34598753
Wear a butt plug at all times so you can't be raped again
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>>34598772
Thank you Anon, that was really encouraging. I have a question but do you think it's likely I was molested while I was asleep or it could be a result of paranoia? I did have a sore sensation
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>>34598820
I don't think it's likely, because you would have to have been drugged in order for you to sleep through it. If you woke up at a normal time with a clear head, and the only thing that felt off was the soreness, then I'd say you probably made it through the night unmolested.
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>>34598753
If you hadn't been drinking that night/ didn't do drugs, I wouldn't worry about it. If someone touched you, you would've woken.
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>>34598830
I didn't drink anything so maybe it was just unrelated and also being in an unfamiliar place but I remember there was a weird vibe but hopefully nothing happened
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Do you have a history of catastrophic thinking (catastrophizing?) if so then it's probably that
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>>34599023
What did you do to anon in the hostel?
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>>34598753
Unless you were passed out drunk, or blacked out on recreational drugs, or someone succeeded in drugging you without your knowledge, it's absolutely impossible for you to have been raped without knowing about it. That kind of pain isn't something you can sleep through. If you were drugged, you would probably have noticed something: if you remember suddenly feeling extremely drunk or weird without any obvious reason, that might be cause for concern. But if you fell asleep normally and you didn't feel hung over the next day, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.



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