>>34603971
just do it faggot

>>34603971
Please provide more details. Tell us more about yourself. You say you’re “average” and “autistic” but also that go on dates with women that are “below your level”? What makes this woman any different and worth pursuing to you?

>>34603991
But what if it gets awkward? I ain't normal, most people don't like autistic introverts like me, she's the type who loves social media and has lots of friends. We're just not a very good fit for each other, I feel like I'd be just setting myself up for being humiliated.

>>34604000
My appearance is quite average, some girls think I'm attractive and others don't. My personality is also an issue, I can generally maintain a conversation but I'm not an extrovert that can just keep talking passionately about a bunch of stuff and is naturally charismatic. Sometimes I went out with girls that found me attractive and interesting through our online interactions but didn't like me in person, I'm pretty sure the same would happen here. Even though I really like her, I already know deep inside this is a lost cause, am I overthinking stuff?
>also that go on dates with women that are “below your level”?
I meant physically, most women I meet are at most average in appearance just like me.
>What makes this woman any different and worth pursuing to you?
She's really pretty and we share the same hobbies, she also seems very interested, but I feel like we're too different and that would be a barrier for her when we met in person, so even though I'd like to go out with her I don't wanna have to face the disappointment of being rejected IRL.

>>34603971
> Last time I did that I tried to kiss the girl
So keep it in your pants for the first date, for fuck's sake.


>>34604034
>I don't wanna have to face the disappointment of being rejected IRL.
Why the fuck are you even trying to date off an app if you self sabotage anything that happens? Practically speaking, you have nothing to lose by accepting the date, and it's actually nuts that you blew her off twice already.

>>34604046
>So keep it in your pants for the first date, for fuck's sake.
Is it not normal to kiss on the first date? I kissed every girl I went out with on the first date except for two that rejected me. I thought women liked guys who take the initiative? Should I start taking a more passive approach from now on?
>Why the fuck are you even trying to date off an app if you self sabotage anything that happens?
I have no problem going out with women, but she's on a different level than me, that's what makes me think I'll be just going to be rejected so it would just be another blow to my self-esteem which already isn't very high. But since she's insisting so much I think I'll accept it maybe, even though I'm like 90% sure it will be humiliating.

>>34603971
Le chuckle.

You need to stop overthinking and focus on sharing who you genuinely are while discovering who she is, too. Think of it like a job interview: you're interviewing them just as much as they're interviewing you.

If you reduce people's worth to their looks, it's a limiting belief that will only hurt your ability to actually bond with others.

>>34604003
>what if it gets awkward
what if it doesnt? what if you fall in love? what if you die alone?
"what if" is stupid. just do it faggot.

>>34604097
You're right, I do like her personality and we share the same hobbies, but at the same time she's a feminist and an atheist while I'm apolitical and spiritual, she's also too into social media and I dislike sharing stuff about my personal life online. This date would most likely be a disaster.

>>34604085
>Is it not normal to kiss on the first date?
Normal, I have no idea, but do you want "normal" or "good"? Because they're absolutely not the same thing.

> I thought women liked guys who take the initiative?
They do, yes. But that doesn't mean you have to move fast, as long as you explain why you're not. Otherwise, some neurotic women will assume the worst and think that unless you're trying to rip their pants off, you're not interested. So don't leave it up to guesswork. You can still take the lead, just give the reasoning behind it. Unless you actually do want to coom right away, in which case, be honest and find someone up for that.

>>34604229
you're just making up excuses not to do it because you're scared. you're definitely gonna run away and miss your chance, and you're gonna live this way for the rest of your life. enjoy

>>34604237
But how do I know if the woman wants to be kissed on the first date? I'm scared of rejection but I'm also scared of being too passive like an insecure faggot.

>>34604272
>>34604272
>But how do I know if the woman wants to be kissed on the first date?
Ask her, "can i kiss you?" at a time when you think things are going particularly well, or at the end of the date.

>>34603971
What would that be like? Suppose for a second a 10 chose you for whatever reason, and assume you're a 5. I feel like I would have a constant inferiority complex, knowing that I don't deserve her. And that others are thinking the same when they see us. That would probably make me end things

>>34604406
And I don't mean just in looks. As in overall SMV.

>>34604406
I'm closer to a 7, but even then the difference is still too big. She became interested in me because we both love classic literature, there are probably not many guys on Bumble who like reading so I guess that made me stick out in her eyes.

>>34603971
That pic is like a 7.

But to your question, just fucking go for it. Fake it til you make it. Just be super confident and decisive with her. Even be a little cocky or dismissive of her. Don't fucking eat her ass and tell her how great she is... just talk about things and then get closer and make a move. You only live once.

>>34604292
Never fucking ask a girl if you can kiss her. Nothing will dry up her vagina faster. Learn to flirt and slowly escalate the physical tension. If you pay attention, you'll know when to go in for the kiss.

>>34604562
nah. it's fine ask em. plus OP is hard autistic so he needs to just ask. he cant read the signs even if she's holding a literal sign.

>>34604272
>being too passive like an insecure faggot
She might prefer this with you

>>34604589
I have the strong feeling it turns her on to make me like this

>>34604003

so what if it does?

if you're so worried about it, say so up front but in a non dumbass way. and don't harp on it either. Just say "I feel like we might be a bit opposite on using social media alot, how would you feel if I preferred to stay off it when it came to us?"

and get her answer, and then move on. no big deal, and don't make it one. you're talking about forming a relationship with someone. The likelyhood it never gets awkward ever for some reason is basically zero.

in return for a bump can I get sum recs, I need to unfuck my brain through books

>>34603971
i've been going through the thread and you just keep shooting down anyone who gives solid advice and tells you you're just overreacting it seems like you've made up your mind and you are simply to insecure to go out with her anyways why keep going back and forth and land on a damn decision and with that i'll give my advice go for it what do you have to lose? some time sure but you'll gain experience anyways good chance you'll never see her again if you don't go out with her and you don't want to live the rest of your life thinking "what if i had?" better to just know and get embarrassed than regret never trying your whole life

>>34603971
The purpose of a first date is to figure out whether you like each other or not. Stop being a pussy and find out.

>>34604847
Right? Go with the flow, march her energy and have fun!

>>34604553
>Don't fucking eat her ass and tell her how great she is
Why is complimenting women a bad thing? Not trying to be confrontational, just curious about your reasoning.

>>34604817
I'm not shooting anyone down, I'm just listing the reasons why I think it won’t work and I'd just be setting myself up for humiliation. What do I have to lose? My pride, which is already at an all-time low right now.

>>34605767
you're overthinking like a retard you either teil her no and block her or go on the date
if you fuck it up you deserve it for being so autistic

>>34605767
>I'm not shooting anyone down

says as he literally shoots down my reply

Her perspective:
>match with guy
>cute enough to swipe yes on
>loves the same hobbies
>our personalities mesh well, conversation is fun
>ask him out
>he refuses
>text more
>ask him out
>he refuses
>keeps texting me though
Does he not actually like me? We get along great.. is it my looks? Am I being a creep if I ask him out again?

Thread update: We'll meet on thursday, I wanted to go to the cinema so I wouldn’t have to talk much but she insisted on going to a café. I can already the conversation dying and the awkward silence. Better prepare myself for the humiliation I guess.

>>34608386
gl lucky bastard

>>34608386
Good luck anon! Bring a book you both like, get there early so when she arrives you're reading it. Ez conversation topic

>>34608386
if it goes wrong you 100% deserve it for the shitty attitude and feeling sorry for yourself

>>34608386
i feel sorry for this girl who is excited for your date while you're sitting here whining and dooming it before it even happens. you're gonna give her a weird shitty date because you can't get over your sad dog mentality.

>>34608386
If you're not larping, you're clearly just self-sabotaging.
I suspect you are larping, because if the girl is as pretty as you claim, it seems vanishingly unlikely she'd go through all this trouble chasing someone who doesn't enthusiastically reciprocate. Women that pretty have legit hundreds, maybe thousands, of options at all times.

>>34608909
It's in the thousands, they literally got thousands to pick from and i doubt they will pick a 6/10 chud because he's into literature vs 10/10 Chad thundercock
But hey, if it's real it's an anomaly and this guy is gonna fuck it anyway, so all good fun after all.
But in online dating this is literally impossible kek