Things often don't work out as planned

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why does fucking every little fucking thing have to cost fucking money all the fucking time

>>34611948
Literally it's the jews

Dragged to their faggot lair, had everything I loved threatened, was given several outs but refused to turn on them and have them put in chains too. All while being told they’d turned on me, fully and permanently. I pray they realize who the enemy is and won’t make a fool of me.

My transfer request was approved and I was removed from that location's group chats. I start at the new spot on Sunday.
That store is too chaotic. I had to get out.
It's the same company, same district, so it's likely shit won't be MUCH better, but the lower sales volume and the earlier closing time are going to really make my life a little bit better while I'm finding another job altogether. And I already have an interview with Costco scheduled. Costco has incredible benefits, high starting pay even for part timers, and can become a lifelong career.
Horizons are bright, anons.

I've been pretty consistent with working out and my body looks a lot more attractive compared to how fat and unstylish I was the last couple of years. Kind of sucks that I'm at the point where women feel comfortable complimenting me or trying to flirt with me in public. It is very flattering but I'm in a relationship and really like her so I have no thoughts about cheating. Still, kind of sucks that I'm getting all of this confidence in my appearance now instead of when I was younger. Oh well.

Otherwise, life is good and I'm looking forward to the weekend.

I want a second chance with you so badly someday. I’m probably going to hold out hope for years.

Think I'm definitely gonna break up with the (former) whore of gf. I'll say either we leave an open relationship or break up for good. I want the freedom to fuck other non professional whores

I’m such a moron for falling in love with Anonymous

I won't turn on you. I'm sorry for the damages I've already inflicted, the statements I've made, I'll do what I can to remedy that safely...I still have something small to protect, which limits my ability, forgive me for that. My own brush with evil has lost it's urgency, provided no one makes any further claims about me, we will be free and safe and waiting for you in whichever dwelling I find.

>>34611938
Every good plan has a contingency plan

>>34611923
my friends have absolutely no respect for my time and today i finally stopped accepting that. being 30, 60 or even 90 minutes late constantly to places right next to them. I have to commute for half an hour, they live 5 minutes away on feet.

I left today after they were going to be late 40 minutes again and suddenly i am the bad person with an unstable temper.

They did not even check on me, text, call anything just went without me roughly an hour after we originally planned to meet up.

How do i deal with these kinds of people? Do i also show up late so i dont wait so long?

>>34612325
Well if you know beforehand they arrive 45 mins later you should arrive indeed at that time. But i agree that you need to make your own time be respected. So it's up to you, how much you want to keep up with them

my life is actually fine right now, so i dont understand why i feel so impulsive and the need to go back to old behaviors

She's so cute.

I started drinking at 10 this morning. I'm almost a 6 pack deep and I'm still at work. Fuck these people

>>34612098
Dude, yes. Break up

Things don't always work out as contingently planned.

>>34612409
Then it wasn't meant to be. Almost nothing goes to plan, and you can either adapt and deal with the adversity or give up. Whether either choice is right or wrong depends on the context.

>>34611984
You love too many things.

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I self insert myself into shota scenarios. Shota x milf, shota x monstergirl, shota x giantess, shota x futa, shota x trap, shota x male pokemon.

I talked to AI about it and it said that it might just be the combination of me having an early sexual experience and the fact that I am into the fantasy of being overwhelmed. I still feel very ashamed over it and don't know if this is something to work on or accept as a part of me

>>34612397
I'm gonna break her heart, but yes. I need to do it. Can't believe I dropped all other girls for her. What did I expected? A former gfe escort as a gf. I cannot imagine having kids with her I'm just kidding myself. I need to end it, I cannot be this degenerate, I'm not strong enough.

just slipped down the stairs.. ow

>>34612390
Party on bro

>>34612469
Die

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>>34612586
Party on, Garth

I think, underneath all of that, was the same problem: I am too weak to set boundaries, and this rotted the foundation for me

When I was younger I cut myself on my upper thighs. Makes me cringe hard when I think about it
Sucks really bad because I often get pains there ebbing

I'm making decisions as best I can with the information that I have.

>>34612611
I didn't do this but this problem wasn't addressed enough back then. A lot of kids did that and it's fucking permanent scars. But hey, I got a few on my forehead from a car accident when I was a kid. Just battle scars of the past.

Limerance is the best word for it

>>34612773
I’m gonna start posting Lime Green Rance in response to this word soon

>>34612808
I'm anti rape culture but that got a chuckle out of me. As punishment I'll have you know I have a concept for a Rance IF Route starring a genderbent Sill Plain. If you don't tread carefully I'll write it and send it to you

>>34612773
Real

I love.

This is fucked up, and you know it is.

>>34612039
Lucky bastard

I feel like I’m too old to get ahold of my dreams, I don’t know if I even have any anymore, as they’ve either been tempered by my failure or I don’t allow myself to have any anymore. I’m medically barred from working or driving right now, and my parents’ patience for me is stretched thin. I have a crush I possibly irrecoverably fucked things up with, but I don’t expect romance anymore anyways. I just don’t know what to do anymore other than pray that something happens.

>>34612135
Why what happened

>>34611923
i hate women and i have a date with a redhead tomorrow. this is gonna go so bad. im going to hide my power level as i have throughout my life, but i haven't spoken to anyone outside of work in almost a year.

>>34613012
She never fully trusted me and met someone else

>>34613037
Damn, did she tell you she met someone else?

>>34613051
Yes, after I asked why she was keeping me at arm’s length. She’d probably been seeing him for a month at that point

Why am I existing anymore?
Just to pay bills?

I will never be over it until I see them fucking dead.

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>>34613104

You're an extraordinary person, not just an extraordinary woman. I don't love everything about you, but please never stop being yourself.

>>34611938
This is terrorism

im sick of this fucker playing these stupid games.
a deal is a deal
and now ur playing games to get out of the deal.
bet you stop ur games when i kick down ur door u have a gun in your fucking face!

>>34613062
No you also purchase products

>>34612991
Shhhh. The weed be lettin' you know, evil lurks.

>>34612773
It's a symptom of being lovecrazy. Do you know what that word means?

Clever, you found a way to tell if I'm online or not.

>>34613206
Who? Not me, nuh uh. My eyes are fixed. I feel great. No more Eren Yeager status.

I'm gonna leave you be though, because I know you're in love so if you have a thought about me, do you want me to teach you how to toss it out?

No thoughts, heads empty now thanks to medicine.

That's cool.

Hate these moments before bed, alone with my thoughts, they start running to worst outcomes. Will they lock you up? Will you get them to do so to me? Have I already sealed our fate when I was in a panic, being threatened, disoriented and displaced? I want to bury my head in the sand and wait till it all blows over, but instead I have to be alert, sharp, expect everyone to be a potential enemy, and lay in wait.

>>34613302
Shit, if they lock me up, I'll probably be safe so have no worries.

I am bitterly angry and wounded, brokenhearted, crushed. Confused and mired in conflicting memories, feelings. Moments of "clarity" vary and shift from hour to hour. I need this to end.

Life needs a re-do button. Even if I could just press it once.
Though maybe I would just make the same mistakes.

>>34612752
I have no idea why I did it. It's so cringy I was such a whiny self obsessed cringe lord
And nowi get constant pains in my upper thigh

>>34613385
Everyone goes through pain. Cutting gives you adrenaline and endorphins, that feeling is what you were chasing, not suffering. So no, you weren't an edgelord, you were a person that didn't have any other way to cope with your pain.

>>34613385
You think that's cringe? Try relapsing a decade later, lmao. Lol.

I don't think I could face you. It would unravel me, and I am so loosely held together as it is. I can't even look at photos of you. Too much...bad. Even the love feels soured, to feel that supposedly positive feeling, tears at something inside.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiMuOXV_qj0

I promise I won't freak out on you

>>34613392
GPT post
>>34613393
I have never done it since the few times I did as a young man and have never had the urge since
why did you do it again?

>>34613439
Nah, that was 100% me. But I am robotlike, even in my most non-caring form. I apologize if you're offended by my demeanor.

>>34613439
Got really depressed again because of certain events, was made to feel like a problem for it, again, couldn't escape situations escalating emotional chaos/pain otherwise. Psychologically, emotionally, I was back in the place I was when I first started.

I want to be a young girl again. I want to fall in love and discover and explore and feel for the first time again. Everything is tainted and spoiled, rotted. Refresh the paint to hide the bones.

>>34613452
I hope your situation approves
I do go through depressive periods, but for whatever reason I don't get urges like that anymore. I think it just feels so intensely cringy to me now and reminds me of my past self that I can't do it

>>34613461
Thanks anon.
I've felt the urges often, like addiction, the cringe aspect kept me from doing it most of the time after my teens. I suppose I'll have to focus on that part. It's good that it stops you.

Therapy is fucking worthless for 9/10 people and the next person that tries to convince me of it’s magic will be splattered on the hood of my car

>>34613469
Therapy is not for everyone, it's not about magic. It's about finding your coping mechanism. Some people find that on their own. Maybe train to become a stuntman or something, since you like crashing shit.

>>34613469
It just can't address some things, I agree. The one visit I paid to a psychiatrist who encouraged me to get blood work done to suss out any dietary deficiencies I might have helped me more than the five sessions of therapy I went to.

It's a frustrating state of affairs for people like us. I know people who were practically transformed by therapy, but I felt like all I got out of my admittedly short time in therapy was confirmation that most people just don't get it and will never get it.

>>34613469
Our nervous systems work in ways and therapies study how to make it more like how we would like but also it's definitely not perfect

i miss my ed, and lowkey drinking. i wish i could go back.

Someone offered to introduce me to their son today. It...excited me, to think of how aggressively possessive that would make you.

One day at a time

>>34613472
>maybe train to become a stuntman or something
Anon are you spying on me?

>>34613499
Absolutely not. It was just a suggestion.

>>34613501
regardless I do understand the value of therapy for people who it can work for, but I am also so fucking tired and honestly pissed off by the people who just say to use it constantly.
if it works for someone, great good for them but for me? it's a fucking check box so some people will shut the fuck up about it and if I have to hear another person say go to therapy for my problems are are not addressable by therapy I'm going to fucking snap

I'm going camping soon and am excited to ʙuʏ ꜱome GeᴀR but I hope I don't go full retard and ʙuʏ too much GeᴀR

>>34613512
God I hope this isn't a heroin reference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyDUBMi3JuY

I want to make you jealous. I want to make you tremble in your rage, barely contained. I want to see what you'll do if another expressed fondness to me, flattered me, made me feel desirable.

>>34613540
Who?

Mine.

>>34613549
Oh, he'd probably just fuck another girl.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/34oyUhzn5Cc

Anons, I'm like 94% sure the developers of SC2 really listened to my post from this thread about changing the way the game works. I'm like 34% sure the military listened to my idea about handcarts and de-armoring jeeps. I'm like 16% sure the president attacked the countries I said to attack. Maybe I have schizophrenia.

I'm gonna pretend your posts aren't directed at me at all, because they probably aren't.

Really? Even after all those horrid words of yours, you still think you have that right? Maybe I deserve gentleness, kindness.

The girl I was mentoring told me I was like the big brother she never had and that as long as I showed up she could keep going. I never thought I could be someone who was needed by someone. I don't want to let her down. Just one person, for once in my life, please God don't let me disappoint them again.

I feel like i attained ptsd, you left me because i was taking so long to get a start in my career, i got the job not even a month later. You tried to walk back into old routine and sweet nothings but the veil had already been removed on your true feelings. Now i only work to ensure it wasnt all for nothing this is the gift you gave. I felt abandoned so i choose to abandon you and any hope we could return to any semblamce of a relationship not even as friends.

>>34613587
You do deserve gentleness and kindness. I'm still not in the right state of mind to just forgive and forget.

Before you ask if I ever will be (Not that you care). Idk, give it another 300,000 years, then we'll see.

>>34611923
I resent this world. I wish it was different. I have trouble accepting things as they are. (Three statements all starting with "I." self-centered. another thing going on.)

What does it mean when a man says I'm his "best friend" as a woman? I don't understand the criteria. Is it mostly the quality of the friendship? Time?

I replaced a toilet seat with a bidet, and had to it the pld seat back, and was amazed that I didn't feel the need to wash hands for almost all of it, but then a plastic piece fell into the toilet at the end. Toilet was clean, recently flushed so the water was fresh, I dont even think anyone shat in it since the last time it was cleaned, just pissed. I forgot to rinse the piece when I put it in the box. It was only in there for 5 seconds, didn't touch any part of the bowl, just the water, and I tried to ignore it for hours, but I just couldn't stop myself from taking the pieces out and rinsing them.

So much effort and progress and pain to come this far fighting germophobia, and yet I still suffer defeat at the finish line. It felt good at the time, but now that it's out of my system, it wasn't worth this awful feeling.

>>34613594
What have I done that requires your forgiveness, aside from react to your neglect and attacks on me as anyone in my position would? You cast me aside, even before any talks of leaving. You, who so readily sought to replace me.

Your desire for me is survival. You think reassuring me that you won't leave, you'll protect me, will ensure I do the same. You don't have to play that game, I'm not so petty that I'll take back what I've said - attempting to help you out of this - just because we're done. Once this crisis passes and you calm down, your hatred of me, your revulsion, will flood right back in, and you'll leave.

wtf is he doing at the park??

>>34613639
You're missing a couple of parts, like me trying to get your attention a bunch of times, you not answering. Then talking about how you're gonna fuck with Foxbro. This happened way before the 'Emma' thing. After that, you probably fucked my ex-friend and was fucking with him.
>>34613659
It's not hate, it's just apprehensiveness. You don't believe you'll be where you'll be in 300,000 years, but I'll tell you, that you will. We might revisit at a later time, but I am gonna leave you alone with him for that amount of time, I told you. I'm not going to let you come near me even in the Afterlife. Excuse my longwindedness.

>>34613639
You never told me tk stop. How was I supposed to know that was your breaking point? You always let it go before. Of course

>>34613664
I did tell. Letting it go were my acts of love for you. They became acts of self harm for me.

>>34613664
Why would you jump in and try to change the narrative?
>>34613667
And samefagging?

I love you. But if I have any self respect you're never going to touch or even see my naked body again.

you dare to degrade and humilate me and then have the audacity to say you're having a hard time being nice and forgiving?

You're EQ is so low but IQ is too high. Your pattern recognition and monkey brain has you conditioned to control, manipulate, and abuse. You're not a bad person, you're just too dumb to control your own actions.

If you loved me, you would have never hurt me in the first place. But even with your handicap, you shouldn't have tried justifying your abuse with the most absurd ideologies (incongruous btw)

You project your own inner world with your accusations. You are a sad little manchild.

>>34613672
None of you are who I'm talking to, I know that. I'm projecting as a means to process. Thanks, good night.

>>34613673
Still trying to push that narrative again. They trained you well. Act like you're talking to him, when you were talking to me, except you have no answers for the shit you did. If you're justified, you shouldn't mind me leaving.

>>34613677
Sure.

>>34613678
Oh so it's you who left me? You're impossible.

I did make mistakes, you knew what buttons to push. You crossed a line.

>>34613689
I said leaving, future tense. They were deliberate, mistakes are by accident. I'll be around, and that's right, you left. You want me to grovel for you to take me back? That shit won't happen.

I am going to sue you for the dog.

>>34613689
And you attacking my status in life shows just how much you truly think of me.

>>34613701
You stopped seeing me as a person. I'm A and you're B.

I only said these things because I didnt think it was really you. I'm not insulting your upbringing, your genetics, I'm just merely stating my hypothesis. No I dont think therapy will work but we have to do it anyway.

If you had said any of those things before I left, it would have been different. Stop trying to blame me. You had every opportunity to speak up. Hiding that from me was unfair, you played by the wrong rules.

I really do love you. I'm not asking you to change into a different person. I just want you to stop seeing me like I'm your adversary.

I hate this gut-wrenching feeling of being trapped in my own existence because offing myself would hurt people I love very much.

I just want it to end.

Now that I'm clear headed and not wasting money on stupid shit, I have several years of being an absolute nuisance to make up for all the years you wasted of mine, we'll start with the dog. This money isn't wasted because I know how much it'll be getting under your skin, it'll just be like my new expensive hobby. You want petty? I'll show you petty.

>>34613717
>You stopped seeing me as a person. I'm A and you're B
Before you go and look, I deleted my Insta, but I even hit you up on Insta before all this and you didn't answer. But you answered him. You see me as -B. Literally up there, you were stating how many games you want to play with my mind. I understand I hurt you, but you were fucking with my "boy" before I ever even started trying to get with S. You said the Foxbro thing before I did the thing with Em. You wanted me to eat shit before I even met you, that much is clear. Probably stemming from a past life. I'm not seeing you as my adversary, you see me as a nothing. And want to call it a hypothesis. Maybe you're right, maybe I was never shit. I was only your boyfriend when it conveniences you. It sounds like you want to do whatever you want, while I'm sitting here on my hands waiting for you to get home. I'm not a cuck, no matter how much you and your bf think I am. This is the impression you gave me.

>>34613724
What is it with you and the dog?

You said you would have been okay with me being a grocer clerk but I know that was a lie. you heavy pressed me to get a degree early on in our relationship, while I had a secure full time job, because your literal farmer parents would have looked down at me.

There comes a time where "I was hurt" just doesn't cut it anymore.

>>34613736
I dont think I'm superior to you. I dont want to be subservient to you. This power struggle is going to be the nail in the coffin. We each need to stay in our lane, in our traditional roles. You stopped fulfilling your end of the duties and it had not even been a year! We have the entire rest of our lives and then into the next to figure this out. We didnt get it right this time. Amor fati.

>>34613696
The dog doesn't love you, don't take away the dog.

>>34613752
I don't believe in fate and you're not going to change my mind, in this life. You're not coming near me in the Afterlife, I will be elsewhere for the forseeable future. You think this is hate, I don't like that you tried to turn me into my old self, you know I hate that side of me.

By the way, Tay, My Dad said no.

>>34613755
Are you so sure about that? He's seems pretty comfy in bed with me right now. I've never hit or beat the dog. You fucking hate the dog. Let me love him better than you ever could

>>34613758
You didn't want to make this work. You just wanted me to fail. It's not been a waste of time, for me. Enough was enough. People leave for a lot less. I wasn't who you needed me to be to grow.

I didnt make you do shit. You dont believe in fate, yet you love to insinuate my actions caused you to hurt me. There's the incongruency again.

Is that why he nearly jumped over the fence to see me the last time I saw him? Why he was scared of you for the first few months?
>I never hit or beat the dog
Odd thing to say unprompted. All those texts of you saying you don't want him are gonna come back to bite you. I hope there wasn't communication between you and anyone else talking about taking him to get back at me, like what clearly happened. She'll come to court for me to say she gave the dog to me and only me. Not gonna give all of my cards away but it's gonna be a lot of fun.

>>34613768
>You didn't want to make this work
You keep pushing this, like I'm gonna trust you enough to try and be anywhere near you.
>You just wanted me to fail
You didn't even wanna truly be my gf. You care about your image more than you give a fuck that I'm a human.
>It's not been a waste of time, for me
Trying to appeal to my romantic side won't work, I already said I'm sorry. You wanted me to be a cuck. I'm not gonna sit here and just eat that or take it.
>Enough was enough
Okay, if enough is enough, don't ever say you love me again. I even made you a promise to you that I wouldn't say it unless I mean it to you. And you developed Limerence and are Lovecrazy so you love whoever crosses your path especially if it hurts me because I haven't told you I love you for 10,000+ years and for less than half of them I was away from you. You said you're not who I need you to be to grow, I gave you so much fucking time. So many chances.
>People leave for a lot less
You've done so. As have I. Tell The Creator to show you our past. He doesn't keep score, but you do. You only started saying sorry when I was talking to S, why is that? Not once have you said sorry to me in 300 years. You're probably gonna deny that, but deep down you know it to be true. I'm your Amor fati when you want me to be your plaything. Meanwhile you use your status and other bodies to fuck people closest to me. And you're still fucking doing it. Idk what you think this is. If you want me to stop criticizing you, tell me to shut up and I'll leave the thread. This shit has been a long time coming. And it has nothing to do with fate or love, it has to do with you growing the fuck up. "Manchild" but you don't think you're superior to me, give me a break.

>>34613801
You cant just let me feel anger? You're pretty good at this, keep going. Tell me what else you're keeping from me. I'm only able to see clearly now because I'm not living in a constant state of conforming to your rigid rules. I'm not even aware of what I do to offend you so much. Im your vessel to creation. We have a duty to fulfill in this life. Why dont you get that's the mission here

I dont remember anything from the past. I met you 3 years ago. Your spiritual connection is stronger than mine. I tripped and saw the veil; I saw the people on the other side trying to get me back. I'm stuck on the other side still.

>>34613824
I have no rigid rules for anyone but myself. My only rule in a relationship is loyalty, that's rigid to you because you're unloyal. You said we're done, so we're done. Enjoy him. I'm gonna go watch my show. Be angry all you want, be vindictive all you want. I'm not having children with you. And I'm not going to give you the satisfaction to see me die. You think because I forget that you can take advantage. You chose who you chose, you can't even give him your full self, your true self, because you're afraid how he would view you. You only supposedly want me because I understand the burden, because I lived it for you, but that's enough. You don't even really want me. Don't say you love me anymore, especially if you love other men. That's the last 'rigid rule' I'm going to give you. Goodnight.

>>34611923
I spent more hours contemplating my existence. Hope I can end this soon

I love you so much you make my hands tremble and my heart beat fast all day I love hearing you say my name I wish I wasn't me at all so I could've had the chance to win your heart properly Lord knows I'll remember you up there and do it all with you

never put all of your trust in the person you are meant to be spending the rest of your life with. they will take that as permission to treat you like dirt.

I'm scared to die, I'm scared to love. I want to remain independent, yet I lust over girls. The ones I want aren't the ones who want me. My whole family except my siblings are dead. I feel alone in the world. I don't think having this awareness and empathy is fair. I drink and smoke weed to cope with it. Nothing will ever make me feel like I made it. It will never be good enough.

It really, really shouldn't bother me this much if someone I don't even want doesn't want me. I'm aware of this but why doesn't it help at all? I think about killing myself over this shit and it makes me feel insane

I know it wasn't you. I'm still not your enemy, nor do I intend to punish you, despite everything.

>>34614024
Don't man, ride it out. I feel like killing yourself disallows your soul to transcend.

I know you never meant to hurt anyone. I believe that. You still do keep hurting people though, that's the thing.

When goals fail I turn to you as my enemy for now I have a new goal

I am going to my first sex-party this saturday. That in and off itself is already making me somewhat nervous but the fact that there will be a cute tranny i would like to try some stuff with. As its my first time at such an event im not sure how to navigate it. It will be at a couples appartment with about 10 people attending, 3 couple and 2 single w/m. Any advice for a novice in that field?

>>34614059
condoms

I'm assuming you won't be able to keep your position, after all of this, let alone advance to where you wanted. I am sorry about that. I think it is the death knell though. Once this enemy is vanquished, you'll look around at the rubble and see me amongst it, and I'll take the fall, as far as your rage is concerned.

i will keep my position and thrive to where we were originally meant to go but this time alone you are already vanquished.

>>34613393
Oh wow, I can actually relate to this so much. With uni exams and just despising myself in general i think of relapsing too. Been 2 years or so I think since I last did it. The only reason I don't do it is because of my bf. He's too nice and I don't want to stress him out or anything. Although I miss the feeling so much. Thinking about it makes me excited weirdly.

Hate the fact that im still thinking about you
You would fit nicely into my life