My older brother does absolutely nothing all day except play video games and watch anime and has no friends or really wants anything out of life. He went through our parents divorce which was incredibly horrible and our mom treated him like a “emotional tampon and treated him like her second husband. He wasn’t allowed to do anything without her freaking out and discouraging him at every step and she would actively stop him from making friends. I know that’s bad but he really needs to get over it and move on. How does I convince him to actually go out and live? Why did he let it get this bad?
>>34615016Why should he work hard for no pussy? Give him some pussy and he will work hard.
>>34615086
>>34615016>go out and live? What for? Hes already living his life.
>>34615016>He wasn’t allowed to do anything without her freaking out and discouraging him at every step and she would actively stop him from making friends.There you have it. This isn't something you can "get over". This is a disability that currently isn't covered by society's services.>Why did it get this badBecause Many kinds of people exist, some are narcissistic assholes, some are dependent wrecks, and some are empathetic sponges that will pick from their environment to integrate, and when that environment is cut off their growth is stunted. >How do I convince him?He needs friends who heal him back. He needs the economic security without the stress to make him know life is safe. He needs an environment full off happiness, just like raising a child back, continuously, for at least 3 years to get him back on track.Of course since society says adults "deserve nothing" and that the "pursuit" of happiness is about "opportunity and not guarantees", your brother is completely fucked.If people, including himself, would stop putting pressure on him, and if life could deliver sane companions, everything would fix itself. You could start by paying him a holiday, check on his life regularly and keep supporting him in everything he chooses no matter how dumb.
>>34615563Why not? Disability is a bit strong? He certainly can get over it if he wanted to.
>>34615124>>34615256I'm not lying, am I?
>>34615607because>society says adults "deserve nothing" and that the "pursuit" of happiness is about "opportunity and not guaranteed"
>>34615016What do you think he's meant to be doing?
>>34615086Correct. Imagine paying taxes for females, pigs and minorities and not having anything to come home for. There's probably nothing more motivating for a man than a female that wants him.
>>34615016he needs therapy.not retards like you to tell him to just "get over it". its not a fucking scratch or a cold. its years of deeply imbeded psychological trauma that will take a professional with a crane to get it out
>>34615607>He certainly can get over it if he wanted to.YOU are the problemhes so screwed
sounds like hes living the good life.mind ur bizness n live ur life
>>34615861I admit he’s been through a lot but he’s an adult and has to take control of his own life. Sure he didn’t have much of a childhood but you still has an adulthood to live.>>34615850We have a cane at home.
Fucking hell you're basically just describing me. God my mother fucked me up so bad. But to answer your question, you can only really get him out of this with therapy because his brain has been wired to keep him in this passivity. His mother basically programmed him to think like this:>Everything is dangerous and scary, so I shouldn't bother with it>I should wait for my mother (or someone else who is willing to fill that role) to take control and move meYou can't get out of behavioral patterns like that through simply willing yourself to be normal or something, it just doesn't work like that because his brain basically functions differently at a fundamental level due to his mother's conditioning. Even if he would think "I am sick of this life I want to get off my ass and do something", he will still subconsiously expect his mother to make that move for him and he will be instinctually afraid of the things he needs to do and the places he needs to go.
>>34615850>>34615936Therapy doesn't work because He needs a social support network and therapy is a "Service" with a very specific product that is about the following>Negating your experience>Telling you happiness is not possible so you should force yourself to do as you're expected>Any kind of skepticism is not failure of the model but irresponsibility, and thus liability of the patient, oops I mean client.Guy needs friends that take him out and make him feel like he matters. That's the only reason people go inwards, to survive in the only space they're allowed in.
>>34615964You have a weird idea of what therapy is like bro. Idk what to even say, my experience is the exact opposite of what you're describing.Btw where the fuck is he supposed go get friends in his current state?
Here's my advice, if it fails I didn't mean to.>Have a low bar of expectationsIt's been years trapped in a cycle, don't expect him to wake up to sunshine and rainbows one day>Meet him on his groundStart slowly, ask him about his shows or games and even join in on these few activities he does>Breadcrumb himAfter developing a routine where you're seen as safe you can actually get him out of the house, but not in places that are high traffic because of stress. Take him through a drive throughThe key is to do baby steps with actual progress and that starts where he is right now.
>>34615625it's work smart, not work hardmaybe in the 1960s
>>34617054well kind of not really, it's both. back then you could probably get ahead more by working hard simply because there were more available opportunities and didn't require college degrees, but for now i'd say working smarter is more important as working hard would only just kill job opportunities
He's smart and you're dumb. Image participating in this jewd society that defends billionaire child rapists
>>34615016So let me get this right, the first woman he ever met and spent physically the most time with treated him like dogshit and you just want him to “get over it”? He might have been spawn-camp-one-shot but you sound like a complete twat for phrasing it like that. How about> my brother is an incel because our mother emotionally abused him. How do I help him recover so he can experience the good life had to offer without his past constantly coloring his expectations?Or is that too empathetic for a selfish giganigger like yourself?
>>34615016God will fix it, just pray for him.
>>34615016>All I do is pray for himAka deluding your self you are helping without doing anything so you can still feel like a great person
>economy going to shit>everything is getting expensive >stupid tech billionaires shoving A.I down our throats, making it harder to get entry level jobs, let alone jobs in general >greedy CEOs hiring H1B visa indians to work for pennies while taking jobs away from Americans in the process >all entertainment mediums made today is shit, food quality has drastically gone down>even if he goes to college and gets a degree or trade or whatever, he has to compete with people not only in America but the entire planet for that one job listing on Indeed.>the job listing ended up being another ghost job and your data got stolen/application automatically denied because the A.I didn't detect the right buzzwords. Yeah, I would give up too.
>>34615607He can learn to cope with it, but you never truly get over shit like that.My parents were similar and I just now kind of started living at 30. Before that I was a zombie. I still barely leave the house except for work.Also, as everyone knows, the only way to stop being a long term neet is to face starvation if you don't get a job.
>>34615016Why would you guilt trip him for your mother fucking him up mentally?
>>34615990Nta, but I went to therapy as well and it's dog shit. It's not set up to ever help people but to keep them in a codependent loop with their therapist. Maybe if you're a normal fag with no problems it will help but anyone who is actually directionless or with serious trauma are going to come out worse if they go to therapy. A good life coach that isn't afraid to go in to autistic detail about what they preach and say is what would help op, but it won't happen till his mother is out of the picture and he has proper and kind support instead of being told "just get over it"
>>34617054>it's work smart, not work hardThe core idea of my post was about men working for pussy, and if there's no chance of getting pussy, then they won't work. Not about working hard or smart. Also, no such a thing as only working smart. Life is much more complicated than that.
>>34617688Sounds like your therapist fucking sucks or you didn't get the specific specialised therapy you needed. Or maybe therapy does suck wherever you are from. To be fair I've had some pretty pointless therapy too, the key is that you have to be aware enough of your own situation to know what kind of approach and therapist would work for you.I don't think a life coach would work since the kind of bullshit OP's mom was doing is the kind of shit that leads to complicated personality disorders and traumas, which a lot of coaches are competely unequipped for
>>34615016>I know a young man living the life. How do I ruin it?Why are people like this?
>>34615869>We have a cane at homeThe typo (?) made this even funnier
>>34617622Kek
>>34617657I'd rather neck myself
>>34615086basedNo Pussy No Work.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NGVWIT1-wII got pussy and still don't want to work anymore.
>>34615016kys normie
>>34615016I had a similar relationship with my mother growing up. You need to talk to him. Also taking him out and doing things with him.
