I broke up with her, and now I need to be strong to not take her back. I still need to return some stuff she left at my place, so will have to see her.
Sucks she couldn't be the one.

I’m prison gay but leaving my self imposed prison feels like walking into another prison where instead of cuddles and butt sex I have to preform a strongman juggling act constantly and if I fuck up even a little bit on the egg shells the strength feat or the juggling at any point the jailers will beat me senseless and I don’t know how much longer I can keep living between my self inflicted rock and my biological hard place

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Got too drunk yesterday and begged chads for sex on a dating app and now I'm scared to open the app again I bet they were laughing their asses off

>>34617545
Because you're a guy?

>>34617505
You can just leave it by the door

>>34617558
It's plenty of shit, even a freaking massage table. Gonna try to be strong and give her a half ass hug after, but yeah. Tough

Im trying, despite everything. If only they could see how much I’ve done for them. The amount of pressure on me to betray them is immense, but I haven’t. I hope I can show them that.

They only remember the bad, the angry, the actions taken in hurt and after being discarded. Why can’t they see the good? The effort? The devotion in the worst moments after hell was brought upon us?

I almost murdered a bunch of quail chicks yesterday. The stupid fuckers were all in the middle of the road and I had to slam on my brakes. They were all underneath my truck by the time I fully stopped, I think I might have squished one or two, i don't know. They were really tiny.

I’m so stupid. Why do I even hope? Holding on to the tiniest chance.

>>34617677
Same

>>34617479
I simply can't bring myself to care about work anymore since my parents died. They left me with enough money to retire comfortably at about 50, but not enough to fuck off today.

So I'll be watching the clock for the next 16 years it seems, which I have conflicting feelings about.

I can and will explain everything. I promise. Stay strong.

Oh no, I remember the good, and that's why all this hurts so badly, that's why I am so torn. Don't forget that I am also making all the efforts I can to not let this get worse than it already is too. Don't forget that it was you who brought this all down upon our heads - had you not done what you did to them, what would I have had to fear and keep me from repairing myself?
The hurt lasts because you keep inflicting it, in every way you can. Keeping people who hate me around the beings I love, exiling me here with nothing but them, and then working at taking even that.
All the supposed good that you are doing, maybe I won't hate you at the end of it, and want to do anything I can to punish you like you do me, but it won't erase the wounds you've left, nor ease the pain.
The explanation is owed, but you can't selfishly expect it to absolve everything and erase what you've done.

Whore that (barely) deserves to be raped and killed, right?

You can't even apologize, lol. Though it's probably way beyond that.
Some protection. Surrounded by enemies, literal faggots and niggers, eating prison slop, surveilled and scrutinized, forced to take "meds" that poison my brain and body.

You took nearly everything from me and keep grasping for the little I have left.

Yeah? Got a fucking timeline? Two more weeks? Months? I'll get myself out of here by then lol. Who knows what I'll be by then.

I have a job interview tonight and I'm so fucking nervous. It's my third job interview ever, and I flubbed the second one.
I've worked at Taco Bell for the last three years and fucked up an interview for Safeway last year (which is fine because their pay wasn't going to be worth changing jobs anyway).
This one is for Costco.
I know I can do the job. I have the right stuff. I'm fast and accurate in food service and customers love me. I'd thrive in the food court - especially with the simpler menu and better staffing.
But that doesn't mean I won't fuck up the interview and see this door close on me forever. Costco is so much more careful about who they hire than any fast food or grocery store. I want this job so bad, but it's such a competitive job to go for and I just don't know if I can make myself look like the one they want.

It's a little early for schizophrenia guys cmon

I wonder if you're thinking about me.

I want to get this off my chest: I think zach is the worst poster on this board.

I don't remember how you looked when you smiled. When I picture your face, all I see is that black glare.

>>34617892
I like his advice

I doubt she thinks about me at all. I just hope she’s okay.

I think I'll have a lot of free time coming up and can save most everyone then.

Double dosing my meds. Drinking every day. Thinking more and more about self harm and suicide even though I haven’t cut in years. Why is my mind destroying my body and itself? Why can’t I just be happy with you? That’s all I want

I don't understand how you can be white and male and still be depressed.

>>34617988
Why not?

>>34617988
Checked, the problem is the majority of men, and unfortunately my white brothers, are weak cunts. You need to excel and climb this bullshit existence. Being a white aryan is the superior life form. You need to embrace your destiny and excel.
There are no shortcuts, but faggots will put excuses and get themselves fat and retarded. Not to mention gay

anyone else feel like there is constantly electricity running through them? like a motor that's constantly running, even when you are sitting still?

I feel very depressed all of a sudden. Wassa matta? I don’t ever achieve anything great. When I do something, someone else has done it better. When I enjoy something, it seems other people enjoy it more. Other people want to be friends with each other but not me, no one really wants to be my friend, only some people are obliged to associate with me because of family ties and from school/uni/church days… my life is very vain and unfulfilling. I wish to be asleep when I’m awake on nights like this but I can’t sleep, the feeling of vanity and emptiness is quite acute. I wish I could write about how happy I am and how fulfilled I am and how satisfied I am with all my endeavours, how everything I do is valuable and earns money and is productive, how I’m improving society by helping the needy, how I’m always kind. NEVER HAPPENS! I live, or would be living, in la-la stupid land with thoughts like that. No, my life is nothing like that. My endeavours are futile, characterised by their purposelessness and vanity. I don’t even satisfy MYSELF, how could anyone else care what I do? It’s a really bad feeling, a really bad thought, but I hate it. It’s so dreadful. I don’t like to say it but I hate feeling like this. I might not feel better for days… weeks… months… it’s very dangerous, and I have no income, not even a pension or gibs. I’ll need to work soon. It’s hardly invigorating but the thought of not even being able to feed myself tends to motivate me somewhat. God help me if I can’t make any money… or get a job. Why won’t the post office hire me? I’ve applied three times and they still won’t have me. What could possibly make them so selective? All that complaining and I just feel worse… BAH! Humbug…

>>34618066
you need to start doing things for the things themselves, not for others. you find your goal and purpose in the activity itself, not some external things that are attached to it.

>>34618084
ya know I was kinda doing that for a while and people kept assin me what are you up to these days? so I finally get around to making an instagram and it’s just a bit vain I think, I dunno. now I have a “page” and a bunch of anxieties about that. wonder if I should just delete it now and go back to enjoying my stuff for my own sake…

>>34618097
i don't know. i also have an insta page where i post art i make, but that's more like because i am curious to see how people react to different things. i have my own opinion on my things, so it doesn't really make much of a difference for me, but if it's a problem for you then maybe it's better to not post anything online.

>>34618113
I tend to follow that, as in, I’m ok with seeing my work my own way but hearing how other people see it, but honestly posting my stuff on 4chan has lately been crushing, getting a lot of not just negative feedback but even abuse
people call me retarded and stuff, I feel really bad and I don’t think my stuff is that bad, not so bad that I need to be called retarded
anyway, I am also really clumsy and it’s starting to feel like I’m developing an OCD or something. Like I am forgetful as well so I always have to check I locked the door, even if I’m pretty sure I locked it, because I’ve gone out without locking the door, or when I pack my bag I tend to forget the stuff I actually need and pack stuff I don’t, and I get really anxious about having everything I need in my bag before I go out but then I don’t ever actually pack everything I need, I end up forgetting something or bringing stuff I don’t need, despite all the anxiety I went through to get it packed in the first place, and sometimes I’m so forgetful I’ll go to the bathroom to do one specific thing, go in, do something else and leave without doing the one specific thing I meant to do and I don’t realise until I’m back in my room, so I end up going to the bathroom or the kitchen two or three times over, or I’ll have to double back on my way to or from my room or whatever, and I’m also really bad at making decisions on… basically everything: what to buy, what to keep, how to live. I am just very clumsy and forgetful, with everything. I feel like I can’t even trust myself to describe my own problems properly or maybe even live by myself in the future, since I just get so worried I’m forgetting something important.

>>34617892
all the namefags here are insufferable

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Ya'know as time goes on as me being an incel. I'm starting to recognize that women actually are a lot nicer than people give them credit. My grandmother, a woman, was the nicest person in my entire life. I've seen women go out of their way more often for me than a man. I don't know you all. But this incel pissed off at the world for being single thing is starting to wreak like shit and it needs to be thrown away.

I don’t want to live anymore. I have extensive brain damage from a TBI and from falsely believing I was trans for 10 years. This world is not meant for people like me.

>>34618152
it’s really a waste of energy to be angry all the time

>>34618162
It is.

>>34618162
yeah, have you tried being sad all the time instead?

>>34618171
That smells as bad as shit.

>>34617479
schizo babbled to a girl who accused me of making false accusations, here is the message I sent

"I’m not entirely sure why you unblocked me, but my anxiety has been really bad the past few days and I wanted to clear something up.

I am severely mentally ill, and even though I’m getting treatment, I still struggle with paranoia and severe OCD compulsions.

I want to reiterate that the incident with **(HER BF)** when we were kids is not something I hold against anybody. We were both children with way too much internet access, and it was a horrible situation all around.

That being said, I do have trauma from it. Not from **(HER BF)** specifically, but from the situation itself. Because of that, I generally prefer not to talk to people associated with that part of my life.

When you’re already extremely paranoid, it’s difficult dealing with how interconnected everything feels. Some of those people have known me my entire life and have seen some of my worst moments, and I tend to spiral about things most people probably wouldn’t even think about.

As for the stuff from high school, a lot of it was driven by compulsive behavior on my end. **(HER)** and I have talked about it extensively. Looking back, I was confused and mixed up having a crush with wanting a close friendship.

The false accusation happened during a period of weed-induced paranoia. I should never have involved **(HER)** at all. When I realized there had been a misunderstanding, I panicked and immediately tried to correct it.

At this point, I’ve spent a long time reflecting on everything. I’ve come to terms with my mistakes, my regrets, and the parts of my past that still bother me.

I don’t have anything against you, **(HER BF)**, or anyone else involved. I genuinely wish all of you the best. I just think it’s time for me to move on from this chapter of my life, and for my own mental health I’d prefer if we didn’t stay in contact."

my anxiety has been bad

>>34618145
"namefags" its tripfagging you newfag

Pizzacakecomics would be me if I was a woman, but she is too liberal, not libertarian enough, and not furry enough to be her. She sounds like had my oldest brother been a woman, but me it would essentially be a crazy deviantart tumblr anime girl who talks about high school anime boys all the time.

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My dumbass genuinely believed someone I liked, liked me back, how many times must I learn this lesson

ask to come over already I know you want to

I want to reduce the burden of my emotional intensity on my spouse.
-increase resilience and capability to control myself
-stop internalizing others bad moods / criticisms as proof I'm bad, unlovable
-be a better spouse in general, stop seeking their approval to base my happiness upon
-stop feeling like I need to manage the emotions of others at the detriment of my well-being
-be a better, more grounded parent
-stop being convinced spouse is acting from a place of malicious intent while simultaneously being aware of behaviors that are non-negotiable and enforce those boundaries
-learn how to actually trust people (spouse especially)
-manage recovering all of these problems while spouse is working on their own issues without immediately jumping back to cortorting myself - being patient with the process itself (being able to recognize little wins along the way would be nice)

I have the awareness of all these problems without any real idea of how Im going to put them into practice. I started therapy, and I am eating/exercising better.

I'd make a thread but it didn't let me

>>34618194
they're the same shit but tripfags have that other shit after their name

i don't know how other people do it, when i am feeling down, i always run in the direction of the thing that scares me or makes me sad.

>>34618223
I'm too nervous, invite me ;-;

I can't stop thinking about you. I'm hung up.
I can't shake the feeling that things have gone the way they have purely due to bad timing.

I've been shuffled around by therapists between an autism diagnosis and a BPD diagnosis throughout my life. I never got an actual diagnosis for either, it just got discussed to death. years and years of therapy later and whatever label people want to use for me, living is getting pretty fucking unbearable. I just quit my job a couple weeks ago and I honestly don't even know why I did it. I'm a total shell of myself at this point and it's fucked because the time I spend in talk therapy only seems to digging the hole deeper. I can't imagine "getting better" anymore

>>34618407
going through something similar...
still see her regularly, sometimes it seems like she likes me back as well and it's really nice and fun, at other times she disappears for several days, sometimes when i see her i am like a ghost to her and some times she looks like a ghost. i wish i could spend more time with her or hear something from her.

played a sort of social deduction game with my gf and her friends and I had to pretend to be my gf as part of the game. The questioner asked “what is your birthday” and I accidentally said February 11th, my ex’s birthday, instead of February 22nd, my gf’s birthday. What length of rope do I need?

It's not fair that I should have to come back to a house that I hate. I was supposed to have enough money to live on my own. I had all the money I needed, I had a plan, I had everything. I didn't care about feeling happy or even being healthy, I just wanted to be alone. But I didn't even have enough money to suffer. Why can't I even be allowed to suffer in peace? Why do I have to come back to a place that hates me and that I hate?

We had good relationships too, but we hurt each other a lot more than we had good ones.

>>34618490
for the record, I instantly corrected myself and lied and said that I just remember 22 as being 11 times 2. It was embarrassing but no one there knew my ex/her birthday

>>34618407
I hate that feeling. I’m watching a girl I thought was perfect for me slip away and I can’t help but think without the distance or if the timing wasn’t so slightly off that we’d be making each other happy right now. I tried real hard too. I’m still hoping but we’re coming to the point of no return and I’m worried she’s given up herself.

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I feel so painfully and miserably alone in this world. My friends are all gone and my family feel like strangers who are indifferent to my existence. I feel so deeply hollowed out and hurt and empty but not a soul in the whole wide world would ever be able to bring themselves to care even a little about it. I already feel like a ghost, each passing day I feel myself slipping into a pit of suicidal intention.
And no matter how I try to explain it to people
Or what I try to tell them
They just don't seem to hear it.

>>34618628
What do you feel like you need at this moment?

I'm getting more respect working for a billion dollar publicly traded company than I ever did working for my contractor """""friend""""". Honestly, just fuck you, I'm glad you moved away and freed me from your chains.

>>34618208
Me too, Yoshi anon. Someway we will get through this ordeal.

There's no coming back from this, you know...

>>34618705
I committed to this months ago. Full steam ahead, bitch, the love train stops for no one.

>>34618705
Unless you're The Crow

>>34618673
THIS

don't put the blame on bad timing. it was you

>>34618838
What’d I do wrong?

>>34617988
That is the most unintentionally classist statement made on this board today.

How goddamn insane do you have to be to think people who lived in teepees for all of human history and who's only innovation has been ingesting Lysol are in any way the same as us

>>34618844
Most sexist statement made on this site today as well

>>34618854
Interesting how

Thinking back you hurt me each and every year of our relationship, 2019 new year, june 2021, jan 2023, june 2023. Only when I created distance by being too busy during 2024 did I start to see the pattern again during june of that year you just dump insecurity and doubts while i was working hard to make something. Im glad that I stopped trying to see you as my life partner through any struggle life might bring, when you ended it on valentines 2025 and I promised I wouldnt allow you to hurt me anymore even if it meant I had to be cold and disinterested in any aspect of your life , i hope you are doing well for yourself and gaining your dreama... i only wished to be part of your life that was my dream but they dont all come true.

>>34617988
>>34618854
Typed by white woman hands

>>34618844
>>34618863
Typed by poorfag hands

Having my wife work in office while I get to work remote has unironically done wonders for my mental health. I love her but her anxiety and general lack of ambition makes being around her such a slog as of late. Knowing I get at least 8 hours to just me, my work, and our dog is great.

Getting lean has been worth all the hype that the looksmaxxers have said, women really do gravitate towards me more at this weight. I also do think men in general are really missing out on seeing their true beauty by being fat but I know that'll sound greek and gay if I start telling my fat friends that.

I also have noticed the uptick in my sex drive once the weight came off and I was working out regularly. It's kind of distracting, I wish the finasteride did lower my sex drive a little bit

nigger

phew finally got it off my chest

i cheated on you because i thought you were too good for me

i miss my bestfrand

>>34618917
Sometimes it just needs to be said

I have no skills outside of food and customer service. This means I cannot find a job outside of fast food or like a mall food court. Entry-level positions are lies outside of this industry, and this industry is killing me. I don't want to dedicate my entire life to work, but that's what they expect. 24/7/365 availability is non negotiable in the only job field that doesn't throw my resume in the trash. I want more time to myself.
The work culture in the United States is so fucking awful. We've normalized making a job our entire life. We've made it normal to only have one day a week off work. We've made it normal to never see what it looks like with the sun up at home. We've made it shameful to admit to being tired and needing a break. We've made it a sin to call off work no matter how sick we are.
Just put me at a desk and train me. I'm a quick learner. I'm begging you.

>>34618705
I'm not trying to come back from anything, just telling The Truth. You think I want to deal with this anymore?

>>34618921
wish this was 4 me

Your story deserves a happy ending.

>>34618995
Whatever, just don't kill her until she's old. Or rather dies of 'natural causes'.

pro: there's a girl who really likes me
con: she's ugly
major con: she's fat and a theater kid who likes karaoke
ultimate con: she's fully ashekenazi jewish

>>34618995
Also, I do appreciate your compassion. So don't think I don't.

>>34618813
That's true. The Crow comes back.

>>34618995
I'm not sure if that's true. We'll see what happens.

Fuck I'm so fucking weak and pathetic and stupid. No wonder you want nothing to do with me.

>>34619038
Shut up, you're strong and courageous. You stand up for what you believe in. Sure, you have faults, but that doesn't take away from the good aspects of you. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want warfare with you. I just want to wait for my death alone.

damn i've been an asshole to you. it's really only sinking in now

>>34619078
Bout time

>>34619078
I forgive you.

Sure hope soon is very soon cause we're both losing our fucking marbles

Started doing more cardio. I loved the self improvement climb that lifting gave but I'm not starting to love the cardio process (mainly focused on extending jump rope times and getting my 5k time down). Finding hobbies that I can dedicate time to regularly and see the improvements in has been good for my mental. I am also hotter now too and the vanity definitely helps

>>34619078
I wish this was about me. I forgive that person that was an asshole to me and miss them.

I know you're not an asshole, I think you just take me for granted.

>>34619204
I don't mean to, it's just we've done this all already. I know I can be an asshole, and I don't mean to take you for granted but there are times where we were going through shit and I've been on the brink of death/suicide because of us, I think one time you told me you don't care and I don't want to go through that again. I don't want you to get there again, I want you to forget me. Be happy. And I feel like you sometimes want to drive me to suicide again. I'm in no way blaming you, I'm just telling you we've been here.

it's over.

>>34619292
kits rover

You know your family dynamic's fucked when a slight change in your haircut causes a shouting match between your mother and brother.

>>34619295
who the fuck is kit?

>>34619343
Like a bodykit...

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>>34619365

>>34619343
A privileged oogle nepo baby pretending to be homeless

im insane with a flash fully buyered hot flames springing to your lips like unabashed tiles
dreadly files owning up to misspent lies!
I have no honor in telling you this!
Maybe a fox coat would be your better. in any case, you are loving me the way a tree falls on its own two dimensions. are you picking what im pulling out?

>>34619379
A body kit is something you put on cars.

>>34619403
Who you Throwing shots at?

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>>34619414
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>34619441
I don't even wanna ask who you are.

>>34619499
it doesn't really matter anyway

>>34619522
Is that you, Em?

>>34619532
not even close.

>>34619546
Damn, okay, I ain't gonna guess anymore.

>>34619562
so uh, how was your day?

>>34619565
K?

>>34619565
I'm sippin' right now, still not in the mood to write, wbu? It took me a minute to answer because I was watching Raising Kanan.

>>34619605
i'm sipping too. today was busy but disappointing. what are you trying to write?
>>34619577
no. moid, if that helps.

>>34619630
I'm trying to write a Horror/Fantasy/Sci-fi screenplay.

>>34619632
what's the plot

>>34619644
It's about a woman who has to pick between two guys she's dating. A bunch of horror stuff happens during.

Always playing the victim and expecting your actions to have no impact or consequence. Ironic.

>>34619672
You loving me means you want to hurt me?

>>34619647
sounds horrorific.

>>34619674
No. You're the only one who wants to harm the other, even though I really fucking should want to hurt you.

>>34619681
You're not her then, I guess.
>>34619679
It's probably trash, but yeah.

Wordlessly angry tonight. I wouldn't even know what to say to you if you were here. I think I would vomit if I opened my mouth.

>>34619698
You havin' an argument with your man?

>>34619672
I don't know what I'm doing

>>34619699
No. No point.

>>34619714
Then why are you mad?

>>34619715
Because of what was done, despite what was promised. But what's the point in arguing about it anymore?

>>34619722
If he says no, then he says no. There's nothing I can do about that. Honestly.

>>34619727
I wish saying no was all that was done.

>>34619732
Are you saying God did something to you personally?

I feel like you want me to sit in a windowless dark room with nothing in my room except me in the corner jerking off to you all day.

Revulsion. Disappointment.

>>34619752
You know it's true. That's why.

Night. Fuck this place. Fuck you.

>>34619756
Not you too. Damn.

>>34618917
>>34617479
NIGGER
if you ban me this time you have to ban him too

I am really not doing well since you made me recount that particular trauma, and your wretchedly cruel comments about it and my deserving it really fucking sealed the deal, lmao.

>>34619760
Oh, you're mistaking me for someone else. Okay, nevermind, just ignore me.

You should feel bad about that. You should be made to feel what I felt, and then to be told the same things you told/wrote.

>>34619763
I've been raped. And people have ridiculed me for it. I know how you feel. They might as well have said I deserved it.

>>34619766
They said I deserved it! That it was all I was worth, and even then, barely that!

>>34619778
That's fucked up. Does he want to kill himself these days?

>>34619780
Ha, no, I'm sure he has some sort of justification or excuse for saying it and still thinks himself a good person.

Maybe it will be enough

>>34619784
I'll work on it.
>>34619785
What will?

Hate when the anger fades into sadness. It's less painful to be angry.

I am going to show you what unfettered hatred actually looks like, legally. You're going to get a formal request from my lawyer soon to return him and you will have exactly one week to do so. If you do not then we'll be seeing each other in court.

>>34619903
In court for what?

>>34619903
Oh, you're going to sue them for the dog. Got it.

I dreamed about another girl instead of you last night. Even my mind is telling me to move on and find someone else who actually reciprocates. What was the point of all of this?

Costco wants me. My interview went really well and they're already setting me up for orientation.
Costco has such amazing benefits and gives back to employees so well that I can see a lifelong career ahead of me.
I'm excited. Nervous as hell but very excited. So happy to be leaving the fast food industry.

>>34620055
Wow congrats!! Everyone raves about the benefits. I hope you get good discounts

I wish I had a husband that would spoil me with mongol style diet of raw milk and lamb and jerky and potato. Buy me research chemicals to fix my stress and fatigue. monitor my progress in weightlifting. Let me become my perfect self with his love and mastery over my body and pleasure. So we could build hearth and home and he’d be the steward of the flame of my heart. He’d be able to handle the predator, the little girl, and the cerebral woman that I am. I want delicious stews brewing, I’ll feed and love him, he’ll feed and love me. He’ll massage my body that aches so much all the time. I’d open completely for him. He’d never let any snake touch me. His predatory restraint hypnotises me while my eyes hypnotise him

>>34620064
I hope so too. I'm going into the food court part time to start, and it'll be the closing shift, but I worked at Taco Bell for three years on THAT closing shift - I wasn't getting home until 4, 5, 6 in the morning. I expect I'll be home at 11pm on this shift. Getting moved into earlier shifts is based on seniority so I'll ride out as a closer for a while and push when I'm eligible to move to openings or even a different position that gets me on the clock as early as 6am.
I see work-life balance in my future and it is bright.

>>34620086
You’re tough. I hope the crew you work with is chill <3

I don't think I'll be able to sleep today now.
Part of me is having this paranoid thinking that you're interested in him and not me.
I'm not sure why.

She unclicks the (You)'s on 4chanX. I'm dead.

Dead. Paiting even. Magic.

>>34620124
How goes it? Were you trying to get my attention or just doing banter again?

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It wasn't me.

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Or was it. Must have been Taylor. Idk.

Tob jej, my frens.
Fug.

I should have drank more.

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tomorrow i ask to rejoin a friend group and if they refuse I'm going to kill myself (i won't tell them "accept me or i'll kill myself" but silently, this will be my thought). I've already been told i couldn't rejoin a different very close friend group (basically people i knew for literal years threw me out because i was too menhera which was partly fair but they gave no explanation of what i did wrong, just talked behind my back and said "yeah you should go away". They just said they voted and i couldn't come back). It isn't that I'm BPD crazy or anything, but i do get depressed a lot and have a tendency to overshare (I don't make suicide threats and i don't go full trauma dumping but ya know. i can be exhausting). So it's not that I'm unaware of my own failings here but i could write a book on what was wrong with that situation.

Point being that if this happens again (since this is very much like the previous friend group, very strong bonds) I don't think i'll be able to come back from it. It took me two years to get over the last one so if it happens again... that's kinda it. I don't ever want to have to deal with that again, i would very, very literally rather die. I won't go through that pain twice, i refuse.

>>34620149
You can be my friend, bud. I barely judge and if you get weird, I will tell you, but I will still talk to you. Hold on, how old are you?

>>34619742
hot

>>34620026
Then go fucking find another girl lmao, you've already tried that once. You think I give a shit anymore? Yeah, it hurt to see how quickly and shallowly you could move to replace me, while saying all this shit otherwise and making accusations about me moving on immediately and calling me a hypergamous slut, but who cares? I'm not going to fight for the attention of someone like that. Gross. You treat women like checklists and play victim when they do it to you, you'll never be fucking happy with someone who sees you as a person or has a sense of self.

>>34620153
That actually made me laugh. I don't think I'd be able to handle that kind of life, but I'm glad you think 'my' idea is hot.

>>34620154
What? Did he try to bag 'Aishah' or 'Sophie' too? Anything to feel superior, huh, C?

>>34620154
You're definitely not the girl I'm thinking about but I hope you find someone who treats you better femanon

What the fuck happened to my ex? Did they kill her ass? I don't know why she had the cojones to be my gf, but she's the MVP. I don't miss her, but she was def the vibes.

>>34620180
HA! That's hilarious that you would do that.

>>34620196
Idk why you're so convinced I'm the person you're thinking of

>>34620207
Because if you weren't, you'd be able to tell that her and me are two different people, but you don't belong here and that's why it's easy to tell.

Let me put it like this, s, if I didn't know who you were then we probably wouldn't have crossed paths in the way we did. Knowing who you are isn't always a bad thing. But I hope you find that wanderer.

Malleable fucking form of loyalty you have huh

>>34620228
Whatever do you mean? Why would I have loyalty for someone that tries his hardest to prove he's superior by talking to girls I fuck with?

By the way, how many times a day do you guys argue about me?

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>a third 19 y/o has hit (on me)
I can't do it any more, the attention was nice at first but by god why do they demand so much of it, so much of my time. "uuoooohhh we like older men" what are they after? let me guess: maturity? stability? confidence and security? motherfucker, I WANT THAT TOO! but i've never been with a girl my own age....

Did she lie to you and say she was my handler?

If she did, I'ma laugh so fucking hard.

Does she pay for your other phone?

Did she listen in on our convos and gives retarded excuses as to why? Like you were helping her? I'm dead, dawg.

>>34618161
This hits so close to home, sorry anon.

if you asked to move back in I'd let you

>>34620261

Bonding experience with me living rent free in your heads.

Drop, drop, drop, drop...

You really gonna try to hide those habits from him hard, huh? Isn't that why you told him to move out in the first place?

No wonder you hate Family Matters, C. Everything Drake says on that song about Kendrick sounds like he's talking to you.

You the black Messiah, wifin' up a mixed queen. Then hit Vanilla cream to help out with your self-esteem.

>>34620273
I stole how C handles stressful situations.

>>34620118
Try to not give a shit.

>>34620276
You know C? It's probably not the same one I know, but if it is. He don't even know.

>>34620280
I don't care. Just waiting for her to drop, drop, drop, drop. We got EVERYTHING.

>>34620281
Nope I don't. Just playing around even if it is schizoid.

>>34620283
Nah, they know I'm talking to them. They probably tryna laugh it off. But this is no laughing matter.

>>34620285
Ok

When she drops, launch it, tired of this person.

https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/34606587/

This is the precursor.

I won't show him the Discord convo, don't worry. This is my last post for the night.

You looked sexy as fuck tonight. I knew you were staring too. Come get you a bite.

>>34617882
Good luck Anon.
I am sure you will be fine.
I don't know how old you are but it's all just a game. Most people do not care half as much as you do. Hopefully that will shine through.

Hi I am Anon.
I am a coward loser.
I turned 30 this year.
I got my associates when I was 22 it in Computer science(Programming) and never used because I was a fucking retard with delusions of grandeur and addictions.

Worked the same dead end Job for 8 years. Stopped drinking/weed for the past 2 years.
Got the Comptia Trifecta A+,Net+,Sec+, and some homelabbing. and saved 15k to put down for a new car.

I am about to apply for jobs in IT and will hopefully find a helpdesk job or something of the like.

I say all of this because I feel the urge to post on 4chan into the void when I am nervous. Being a total loser is easier than actually trying for something.
If you are younger than me. Get going. Do something. Don't let time slip away like I did.
Now I am back at the precipice of opportunity.

>Also I think I am only to leave out my degree from my resume because I don't want to explain that I squandered it. Easier just being a hopefully a reformed total fuck up.

Good luck Anons. Change is on the horizon. I hope for us all.

I'm at a massive impasse if I should move out of my place in the next 60 days ditching my homeless mother I've been allowing to bum here for nearly 4 years so I can get my life back together or stay another year and likely lose yet another opportunity of having roommates to have less money spent on bills at the cost of no longer getting shit done at my place like cleaning laundry etc.
mid 30s and while all of that I can do on my own, basically having a schizophrenic maid do all that for me feels better when the mega depression makes me too lazy to do some things at times but that depression is also due to said parent staying in life

bf didnt call or text me on any of his breaks today. its 3am and we havent talked in 13 hours, its so over

>>34620493
What'd you do?

>>34620493
It's not over. There are a good portion of men (e.g. me) that just need alone time/aren't clingy. Doesn't mean we are off being disloyal or otherwise don't care.

>>34620493
nothing that im aware of

>>34620510
hes usually facetiming me every once in a while

>>34620525
fuuck i meant to reply to >>34620507

>>34620525
>nothing that im aware of
Then you have nothing that you're aware of to worry about.

Fight the future.

I think I was raped but I can't remember. I was too young.

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I've been having a hard time making other female friends, and I feel as though most girls fall too much under normie category to get along with.
Ironically my boyfriends ex girlfriend is somebody I actually get along really well with. It really frustrates me that I finally meet somebody I feel like I could be good friends with, but things are complicated by the fact I am dating her ex. And even though they are on good terms as friends, I get the feeling she doesn't necessarily want to be buddies with me even though my boyfriend insists that we would get along. Wtf do I do. I'm so lonely. I don't want my boyfriend to be the only person I ever hang out with. It makes me feel pathetic when he has plans with his friends and I haven't got anything going on.

Why are you even bothering to "defend" me, if you hate me so much, and think me such an ingrate anyways?

You wanted me dead. Was what they threatened not a viable alternative? Are you trying to spare me so you can strangle me yourself, as you wished?

I don't miss you. It's just trauma bond. Addiction.

Coping (poorly)

3 hours until D-day

Oh, super, trannies are allowed to stay here, and there's going to be a drag story time. I need to get the fuck out

>>34617479
Can't believe I'm using LLMs to help me sort my life out, I know it's basically a shuffling of the deck, but with no family, no connections, no IRL friends, who else is going to help me?
Lord knows I want to end up on the street at this point being £8k in debt and no family.

Anger /=/ hate
Excising vile things /=/ actual beliefs

Loyalty against all odds = love
I’ll save them, even if they’re angry with me.

this is a pretty shitty start to the day

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To the half dozen anons on this board and r9k who advised me to leave the man I was in love with………. Sorry for not listening

I hate the one I love they wont ever be with me again

>>34620944
youre telling me
>>34620806
sounds like your making excuses for your actions anon if u take out anger on someone it doesnt get undone because you dont really mean it
>>34620694
what happens after three hrs?

Funny, you never permitted me the same "explanations" for things I've vented about, and it was nothing so cruel as what you've written and said to me.
Seems it's still only your definitions of things that matter, and selectively applied. Punishment is only justified when I've done something, forgiveness is always demanded when you do something.

Lmao. You're never going to truly apologize or take accountability, my mistake to think you may.

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>>34620986
I don’t what I did this time, but sorry anon.

I’m hiking!

>>34617479
I cant say goodbye to you two, as I would've done in a heartbeat if you were strangers, due to your way of treating and seeing me, because one of you is my mom and the other my sister.
You have never meant to do any harm in the first place but the total lack of accountability, empathy and interest in me throughout my whole life has left me feeling like a fraud today at 32, someone who is so afraid of talking to women even tho I dont look bad at all, but its because my reletionship I've had with you two, which has left me scarred, makes me so fucking upset and nervous of ending up with someone like either one of you two.

Honestly one day when I'm older I'll look back and laugh at how much energy and time I pay them without ever feeling like I get an ounce back.

Hopefully by then I'd already had my big talk with the both of you to lay the groundwork which I need to feel safe and respected.

Also I WILL NOT parent my mother any more, if you created two lifes which of at least mine you didnt care enough to actually care of me and my interest, state of mind and body on top of having a multi year break down where I did get any help, any questions about me or anything I was doing - just being given a gaming pc and an almost unlimited supply of candy and shit.

That fucking chapter taught me a lot - most of all that when I get my future kid(s?) I'd probably choke too at times, but for gods sake TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY AND SAY YOURE SORRY.

HOW is it that it feels like maybe 0.0000000000001% understands this - or maybe only have been fortunate enough to fuck up so hugely enough to realize that some shit need repairing.

My rumination today and probably tomorrow too isn't me being a bad person or not understanding things from different views - it's ,e standing up for my self and stating that I wont take any shit anymore and that shitty behavior is not tolerated.

My kinds will hate me too for other reasons, but I will bridge the gap with sincere love and support

>>34617479
I reallly hate the jews

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my eating disorder is being kept at bay. My weight is rising; it doesn't hurt to move anymore. All it took really was my boss having some faith in me and having a big overarching goal in mind. But it is never so simple.

This goal will be achieved in a year and while my monster is being kept at bay, i know that as soon as this goal is reached, it's going to descend on me like wolves. The shadow is large and I can't escape it. Recovery doesn't feel good and i can tell it will never feel good. Ever wonder why most "recovered" anorexics are gluten free? Nothing to do with health issues, it's just a way to indulge without indulging. The shadow just doesn't go away and the temptation remains so potent that you have to half in-half out much in the way i still am. You never escape this, not ever. Honestly it makes me borderline suicidal. I have to carry this monster with me forever, and if I indulge for too long, that's it, it's over. I guess i'll just enjoy it's silence for now because i have one year before it eats me alive. Sometimes i hope it kills me just so I can stop fighting. Recovery is a false idol.

>>34620468
Your degree shows you did something with your life though anon? Being nice is a human trait not a demonic trait.

>>34621005
Can I come too?

>>34621005
Let's bring all of 4chan with you so that we step away from our computers for once.

>>34619425
Kit, a real piece of shit.

>>34621148
Kit's not real, they can't hurt you.

>>34620959
You actually let them get so close as to hit you with that type of magick? Why?

>>34621162
I already knew that, it's why he does nothing but talk shit.

>>34621170
Walk it like he's talks it.

>>34621171
He knows I do

>>34621175
Who is he? Why do you seem afraid?

>>34621171
YWNBAW

>>34621180
I've never wanted to be a woman in my life.

>>34621178
Go missing.

>>34621185
What I do?

>>34621186
Fuck you.

>>34621190
Why are you so angry? Tell me the truth.

>>34621191
He is mad because he is an unc who needs to use chatgpt to flirt with hags on dating apps
>>34605905
>>34617936

>>34621222
Oh, is it because I exposed that they use magick?

In person? When's that going to be, lmao? Months, years? When it's too late? No point. Doesn't fucking matter.

yo millennial unc, respond in the other thread

Build your own pyramids write your own hieroglyphs

>>34621226
What are you banking on? You need a foundry for all that gold and glitter.

Vague, always. So, too late I guess. Lol. I've got nothing left at this point anyways. Save your breath.

>>34621244
You have someone to love. Focus your features on that. You could be the next rom-com.

Need to stop coming here and checking this and that hunting for answers. Fucking tired. So fucking tired. Everything fucking hurts. Need to get out of here. Get on gibs, get apartment, do my best for 18 or so years and then I can disappear.

Fucking agony for months, you're right, it would've been better if I died. Guess I should have actually tried.

>>34621254
I wouldn't want you to die. I also don't like living dolls.

If you wanted to you'd make it happen, but you're number one, and I should really do the same and move on

>>34621265
You weren't paying attention. I want to wait for my death alone.

>>34621261
Your actions say otherwise. Fuck, so have your words lol.

>>34621269
When have I ever said I want you to die?

my best friend has to put her cat down and I can't even afford to go and visit her and comfort her for her loss or see him before he goes... fuck this shit dude whats the fucking point of it all..

You're not being followed lmao it's just an excuse a smokescreen to keep up the manipulation, wait for desperation and fear to grow in me

Jokes on you, all that's growing is anger and resolve. Solidly giving up for the sake of moving on to something, just about livable

>>34621282
There's no need to worry.

>>34621289
Not worried anymore just fucking empty, done

>>34621294
No amount of food will fill you up? What if you put more money there? Or more romantic love?

>>34620127
Just bantering.

>>34621313
How are you feeling?

Fine. But fuck you for making me cry all the time.

>>34621315
Hopeful, Despair, Grieving, Acceptance, Contentedness, Happiness... Over and over...

How are you this Saturday?

>>34621326
Sounds like you're going through it. Anything I can help with? It's free.

I'm all set, I just need to sleep more.

>>34621320
I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you cry. I'm only trying to help. Your feelings don't shine through on the internet, but I don't want you to feel me, I want you to learn. I can't be here all the time.

Why is having many men called whoring and not whording.

That's play on words.

>>34621329
I'm fine; I think this is just what being single feels like. I'll always accept any free advice though; advice doesn't take up any space; I'm a minimalist.

yo unc, are you lurking this thred too? come back to the 30 year old virgin thread

>>34621356
Do you feel like you can't make any connection with others because of... you know?

Don't ever let me get you like that. Ever. It's not a win for me, just makes me feel bad.

>>34621389
i thought of a bunch of things from your prompt... some in my control, some not... I will fix them one by one as I can. Did you mean something specific?

>>34621428
The responsibility to control your behavior is on you, not them.

Subhumans.
Foolish Europeans in their all-encompassing kindness and magnanimity let them live instead of exterminating every single one of them.

>>34621459
Have you tried picking up a book niche and looking for someone from those circles? They seem genuine.
>>34621462
Dead. So what they do is okay, but I'm the bad guy if I do it? That's not even a 'they started it' it's more a "I can do what the fuck I want too, I'm not gonna sit here and play the fool." Even if it's a first strike.

Cheating has saved my relationship. I'm more loving and less neurotic. He just thinks he put me in line but I feel better. Highly recommend it.

I don't know how I'm going to react (freeze? cry? rage?) and frankly, I think it would be unfair for you to have any expectations, let alone reactions.

>>34621507
Nah. That's crazy work. Time to stay single.

>>34621510
That sounds like I would just walk away.

>>34621511
It's like I magic erased all the desperatipn I had that was making me start fights. I just act nice because I get side dick now.

>>34621515
Dead, ayo, you a wild girl. I hope he doesn't murder you if he ever finds out. I also hope you move fast and can keep yourself and him concealed.

>>34621519
I never give out my number and use a fake name and don't bring men where we live.

>>34621525
Oh, so he's not proficient at searching for you while he does other shit...

Niggas like that gotta be either loyal or stupid.

>>34621507
Think dread game works on men? Im considering making it obvious that I have options to get my bf to treat me right

>>34621535
It does work on top of cheating I dress slutty when we go out and tell him when men hit on me. He just spent a ton of money on me shopping today

>>34621538
Nice, thanks girl. I don't want material shit I just want him not to be such an asshole to me. I usually don't mention it when guys approach me when I'm out alone

>>34621548
She created another one. She's a menace to society. Looking for variety. And it's not the 80s.

I am worried that I will grow up to be like this seething millennial unc BALDCEL!
>>34621336
>>34621201

i've had girls randomly ask me out, give me their number, women who are strangers call me hot when they see me, been groped by plenty of women, watched some jaws drop a couple of times, and it goes without saying that my exs cheat on their bfs with me and married women try to sleep with me

but no one had ever made a missing connection craigslist post about me

Reminder that your girlfriend/wife is/will cheat and will use any excuse up to and including you breathing in the wrong direction. It's just a matter of if you find out or not and if you do she'll just claim le aboose so just beat the fuck out of her so it's at least not bullshit when she does. She might even like it!

>>34621602
Nah, nigga, I'ma try to play the same game. Shit just seem off, that's when I know.

>>34621602
That would be a problem for you if you could get a gf/wife huh

I'm stupid and sabotage my own dates and the one relationship I had by being distant and avoiding them. I'm incapable of returning love properly and feel nothing.

>>34621622
I have a hard time feeling shit for people too, unless we have a long fucking history.

>>34618606
Demoralization framing. Attempt to manipulate perception and emotions into loss.

>>34618921
Completely retarded if true and I would instantly remove you from my life.
-sun

>>34620962
Swallow your own poison.
I'll have my moon
-sun

>ex stalking my social media with five different alternate accounts after she dumped me months ago

what kind of sick powerplay is this

>>34621649
Why did you feel the need to reply?

>>34621674
Why do you think id sit and let you lie and make larps as me to decieve her again?

You are a spineless weasal and make up lies in an attempt to mischaracterize, harm emotions and imbue a false narrative about her and I.

>>34621690
Are you a narcissist? Why would someone make a post to larp as you? All you are doing is under mining my post in favour of your own. Make your own thoughts in a separare post without including me in it.

>>34621477
I didn't know that was something that could happen outside television

>>34621701
You are the narc projecting onto me. C is very clearly doing this and she can see it as well.

You are not worth arguing with because I showed her clearly the places c is lying and making shit up in larps to weasily decieve her.

>>34621710
I am not C paranoid poster

>>34621706
Sometimes life is stranger than fiction.

>>34621712
Not worth responding. Adios

>>34621723
Great that was the intention, thank you for understanding not every post is about you.

i'm sorry i couldn't talk to you, then when i finally did i was so stupid that i thought i was implying i wanted to try but the words were that i didn't know how to be anything more than a coworker. now i can't apologize or ask to try again

>>34621728
No, I stand by what I said and it's good she knows and sees what C is doing and who he really is, a manipulative narc weasil

>>34621167
I didn’t know then what I know now. Things happen