I was thinking about joining to Fetlife and find girls to indulge in my weird fantasies but I feel uneasy about it, like I shouldn't go down that path
>>34620498Nice advertising.
>>34620498Do it, best to get it out of your system and move on from it.And best of like there, it’s a haven of people just needing attention
>>34620498What are you afraid of by going down that path?
>>34620594I'm not sure, in my opinion there's a lot of broken people that want to hurt and be hurt and it makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of that
>>34620617have you considered that's not your problem?
>>34620652Behaving well and being good to others is everyone's innate responsibility.
>>34620617Aren’t you worried about having a bad experience? Getting more sexually frustrated? Isn’t it best to either use a whore or find a gf and once you’re at that level of comfort you explore these things? Also anon, you may find once you clean up your mental health you have no interest in such fetishes
>>34620498We can't possibly advise you unless we know what your weird fantasies are.
You’re going to get a lot of answers from people that are still with the first person they had sex with, or still haven’t.You’re asking the wrong type of people
>>34620656That could be but how should I clean up my mental health? Therapy didn't help and I have been carrying all of this for years now
>>34620498All you find on fetlife is 50 year old dudes and fake scam profiles
>>34620747Daily introspection and meditation is the best method. I'm not the anon you replied to, but I can say from personal experience that as I became healthier mentally, my interest in casual sex and fetishes plummeted. Chasing temporary joys only seems like a good idea while you're still clueless about the existence of a lasting joy that comes from within, and the only way to find that joy is to look where it comes from.
You’ve been sold a lie. Like all other dating sites it all depends on who you are and where you live. If you are unattractive, male , or live in a small town/city - then your experience will most likely be the same as all dating sites.Secondly, kink rarely attracts (ime) young or attractive people. Think about it - why would it? If you were a cute girl in 20s would you have to join a niche community or wouldn’t you just ask a guy from the bar to piss on you?In my experience it was a small community of mostly swingers that had already built an immune system against a large number of men wondering in and expecting depraved sex with hot people. A selfie of a six pack and a bio on how much of a degenerate you are won’t get you anything more than it would have on tinder. If you want kinky sex get a whore
>>34620498What's the worst that could happen?Probably nothing, just do it and be safe
>>34620498This might sound strange, but do it If you have a fantasy that you are constantly thinking about, and it has latched onto you, doing it with someone might be a decent way to know if it's actually for you or not, and it would be a quick way to get it out of your head and move on, or you might find someone else who is into......whatever it is you like doing, it totally up to you man to make that choice no one ain't going to force your hand
>>34620498Assuming the fetish isn't dangerous, I don't really care about you trying to indulge. Think you'll end up disappointed if you put too much hope into Fetilfe or Feeld or any similar sites. A lot of gross men for not a lot of women and most of those women aren't lookers. You'll need to prepare for your first couple of meetups to be with fat middle aged people who may not even know how fetishes or kink play works
>>34620779Thank you Anon. Whenever I try to do introspection I get overwhelmed by the number of past versions of me and I struggle to see what's real and what isn't. I have a hard time figuring out what's my true self
>>34621051This might not make much sense without doing all of the leg work first, but for me one of the key realization was that everyone's true self is actually selflessness. When somebody is good, it's not because of anything that comes from them, as much as it's a matter of what they've gotten rid of. For example, a good judge is good because he's impartial and doesn't let anything from himself get in the way of judging objectively. Or when a person is very generous, it's because they've gotten rid of greed and attachment to things. It's the same of all of the other virtues too, like compassion, patience, mercy, honesty, courage and so on. The more a person rids themselves out of "self", the more they can take on those good qualities. So the "true self" that everyone should be striving towards is actually "no self", because someone who has truly moved past "self" could be nothing less than a saint, or the ideal person. Hopefully that helps put things into perspective somewhat, although I know it's easier said than done and takes years of practice and introspection.
>should I engage with obviously weird behavioursstupid questionevery busted fuckwit ive ever met has mentioned fetlife
>>34621634That made me think, I really need to meditate upon it. Thank you, Anon, I really mean it
>>34621899No problem anon, I hope your meditation bears fruit.
>>34621929One last thing that just ocurred to me, is there any religion/s or spiritual books that you would recommend?
>>34621982That's a tough one to narrow down, I'm liable to recommend a few dozen books if I don't restrain myself. Personally, I started with The Discourses of Epictetus, but Erasmus's 'Handbook for Christian Knights', Kempis's 'Imitation of Christ' and James Allen's 'As a Man Thinketh' and his 'Through the Gate of Good' all seem like they'd be good entry points as well because they're quite broad and give a good general overview of things.
>>34622069Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to start this joruney, picrel really made me think of that moment when Jesus asked a man "Do you want to be healed?"Thank you for the sources Anon, I'm really grateful, if you happen to have more please don't restrain yourself
>>34622132Any time anon, I'm glad I could be of some help.If you finish those and enjoy them, you'd probably also get a lot out of Boethius's 'Consolation of Philosophy', Augustine's 'On Free Choice of the Will', Meister Eckhart's writings and sermons, Seneca's letters, W.G. Jordan's books and Plotinus's Enneads.Ralph Cudworth's "The True Intellectual System of the Universe Wherein All the Reason and Philosophy of Atheism Is Confuted And Its Impossibility Demonstrated", is also one I ought to mention just because of how great of a job it does at clearing up misunderstandings, but as you might already be able to tell from the title, it's long, very technical, very dry and it's mainly about theology and history rather than about personally practicing a better way of life.The two excerpts I've posted are from James Allen's 'Through the Gate of Good', for reference.
>>34620498It's just swingers, gay dudes, and out of shape women in their 40s writing fiction to each other.You're not gonna find your wife there.
>>34623133out of shape is being really kind, I fuck fat chicks but there were women there you a full grown man could hide underneath their hanging belly flaps.
