i know this is retarded, but i feel like my bf never compliments me or gives me "validation" (rather seems like he couldn't care less) for the things i like or am proud of. what do? accept i won't be forever with my one and only, and seek another relationship. or try to fix it somehow?for example, i am proud that i was a virgin when we met (i was an adult virgin, and no i'm not a tranny) because it made me like who i am. i didn't mind losing it to him also because i waited for a while, until we had been in a committed relationship for a while. so i said no to him initially precisely because if i had said yes too early, it would have made me dislike myself.but, he doesn't seem like he values this about me basically at all. he wants to get married and is entirely committed to me, but the way he talks is like this is something he doesn't care about in me at all, that i gave my virginity to him. he often even says, we should not be proud of things we haven't done. he once said that specifically when i told him i used to be a little too proud of being a virgin. and he's never said anything positive about me being a virgin before him, never. only negative things and implying i shouldn't have been proud of being a virgin. there are many similar things, things that i feel like make me a good gf and potential wife and which men in general appreciate or would appreciate (or i assumed/hoped so at least), which my bf disregards and doesn't appreciate. i honestly didn't expect this at all. and i gave one example only here since otherwise this post would be too long but there are other similar things too.so is this fixable? for context, he wasn't a virgin before me, but he's also nerdy, he grew up on image boards, and we both share almost all of our weird hobbies and interests.
he is a normal, well-adjusted man. seriously, please understand that normal people don't give a fuck about that. it is not "men in general" you are trying to impress, it is the mentally ill losers on image boards who hate you for being a woman, regardless of if you are a virgin or not. does he compliment you on actual achievements, like something you've done in your hobbies, school, career or whatever you have going on? does he compliment your appearance and personality? if he doesn't, then that's something to consider bringing up or leaving over. but what you've mentioned is completely unreasonable
>>34627600I agree with that other anon, it would be odd for your bf to compliment you on maintaining your virginity. The more important question is whether he ever compliments you on other things
>>34627600>i am proud that i was a virgin when we met>he doesn't seem like he values this about me basically at allWell, you are not a virgin anymore, right? You did not marry him, right?>>34627613>please understand that normal people don't give a fuck about thatEveryone gives a "fuck" about this. If how many bodies you have did not matter, you would go on brothels to find your wife. Well, not you specifically, because you are clearly a woman.
>>34627613>he is a normal, well-adjusted man>please understand that normal people don't give a fuck about that>>34627600>he grew up on image boardsOhh, really? I don't think a well-adjusted man would grow up on image boards. Not only that, normal person would absolutely care.
>>34627600Virginity is not something you achieved. No one gives a fuck.
>>34627753Wow, keeping your legs closed, such a great achievement, comparable to getting a house or a car... Should we give you a standing ovation?
>>34627763>Wow, keeping your legs closed, such a great achievement, comparable to getting a house or a car... Should we give you a standing ovation?I removed my comment because of the language I used. I'm not a woman, you imbecile. Yes, it is an achievement, something a roastie will never understand.
>>34627769You can't "achieve" something you're born with. Do you know an "achievement" means? Do you speak English?
>>34627771>You can't "achieve" something you're born withYou're retarded, nobody is saying that being born a virgin is an achievement, that's a strawman you created in your peanut sized brain, an achievement is something accomplished through effort, discipline, commitment, or the successful pursuit of a goal. If a person consciously decides to remain a virgin until marriage, until a certain age, or indefinitely, and consistently acts according to that commitment despite temptations, social pressure, opportunities, or personal desires, they may reasonably view that as an achievement.>Do you speak English?Are you a retard? We're speaking English right now. You clearly are incapable of understanding what an achievement is, so you have to resort to these petty tactics. Roatis toastie.
>>34627771>t . Rostie Tostie
>>34627776>OP just sat on her ass alone in her room instead of having relationships>this is as achievement
>>34627771>You can't "achieve" something you're born with. Do you know an "achievement" means? Do you speak English?Well, I would say that opening your legs to people you just met is a great achievement too, roastie.
>>34627784>OP just sat on her ass alone in her room instead of having relationshipsYou know that's not right. She had a boyfriend though. She kept her virginity, of course, till she failed. You though, on the other hand, open your legs to just anyone. For you, it's like a handshake, of course you wouldn't understand.
>>34627722>Everyone gives a "fuck" about thisGo outside lil bro
>>34627600>i feel like my bf never compliments me or gives me "validation"You must be a fucking pain to be around.I can almost see the little twittery birds spinning in your head.
>>34627600You have to stop looking for validation in other people. That's the one and only way to become happy and assured. Self-esteem begins and ends with the self, so the moment you try to gain it through someone or something external to you, you've already gone down the wrong path. No one will ever be able to give you the validation you're looking for, because validation from others is a bottomless pit. You'll hop from relationship to relationship trying to reach greater and greater levels of validation, while never truly feeling satisfied or whole. It's no different from an addiction to drugs or plastic surgery.
>>34627600If he was mostly shunned nerd and "grew up on imageboards" maybe he was hoping to enter a more emotionally stable phase in his life and he was disturbed when you revealed that you've integrated something this neurotic into the core of your personality. It would disturb me too. Maybe if you're both super religious, you're in the right. What are the other things he doesn't seem to appreciate? You're not giving us much to work with here. >>34627722Ok, I hope you're grounded enough to admit that not having body count of 0 doesn't equate to selling your body for sex. Obviously there's some not so big upper limit where things get concerning.
>>34627970>Ok, I hope you're grounded enough to admit that not having body count of 0 doesn't equate to selling your body for sex. Obviously there's some not so big upper limit where things get concerning.Yes, I agree with that. Just because you had sex, it doesn't mean you're a prostitute, of course. But not having sex, may increase your chances to find a partner. Nowadays, most guys wouldn't care if she had 5 partners, because at this point in time, this is a low count, and they know that virginity is scarce, only a select few can get a virgin wife.
>>34627600>i know this is retardedWell, I'm glad you know that. It's important that you know that. Look, a boyfriend who compliments you sometimes, who values you, is important; sure, no argument there. But the specific thing you spend the rest of your post saying you want to be complimented on makes no sense whatever. If you choose to retain your virginity for a while, that doesn't make you better than anyone else, nor does it make you worse than anyone else, it's just a preference. This is like expecting him to shower you with praise because you don't like oranges, or because you've never gone rock-climbing. I'm not saying you *should* have gone rock-climbing - if you didn't want to, then not doing it was the right call, clearly - but it makes no sense to be *proud* of not doing it. The same applies to sex. What's happening here is that you're trying to impose your own value system on your boyfriend. You don't have the right to do that.
>>34628097>What's happening here is that you're trying to impose your own value system on your boyfriend. You don't have the right to do that.It is also a retarded thing to try to do and it is bound to fail
