i recently lost my virginity and in the week or two afterwards we had sex many more times. i am looking back now, not long after this, and i have essentially no memories of these experiences. i dont have any memories of the first time we had sex really, i dont even remember what we did outside of a couple blurry glimpses. he has tried to reference specific moments or ways i behaved and i just look at him blankly. it feels absurd to me that i am not a virgin anymore, these memories are so fake and dreamlike feeling.is this normal? does anyone else have this? i dont have any sexual trauma im aware of and most of the times i was tipsy at worst, the first time i was fully sober. maybe this is some effect of adrenaline?
>>34629360Well, when you have sex/masterbate. A lot of blood goes to your crotch and such. The reason that some people like jerking off with a noose around their necks is that it makes them lightheaded. Which is similar to the feeling of blood leaving your head. When you sleep your breathing reduces significantly, meaning that you are lightheaded, and everyone knows that dreams are hard to remember. In conclusion being lightheaded makes things harder to remember.
>>34629360hes trying to gas light you or drugged you
>>34629360Your brain was too busy having the experience to take notes.
>>34629360I haven't gotten any in so long i'm feeling revirginated is that what you mean?
>>34629360>is this normal?No. Sounds like you were dissociating.
>>34629360I think it’s normal enough. I would probably be making things up in my own mind for trying to remember very much if anything.
>does anyone else not remember sexi have bad news for you anonette
it's been almost as long since the last time as my life before sexcouldn't tell you what month it waswhy can't i just die?
>>34629360What DO you remember?
>>34629360Sound like autism unironically. Autists commonly have a very hard time to remember their own feelings or behaviors from memory.Autists can remember very well details involving specific dates, times, locations, or certain details about other people. But if you ask an autist to remember themselves in the past, what they had felt, said or did etc.. they draw a complete blank. They have no clue, just a blur for them. And if they can remember tiny pieces, they feel it's not their memory or the memory of someone else.This is because autists have a low functioning sense of self identity. That happens from years and years and decades of masking, masking, masking, constantly focusing on other people's expectations or other people's reactions or other people's potential feelings about you or what they may think of you. The autist just didn't develop the mental ability to know who they are beyond surface level acknowledgement.
>>34638887>>34629360>ContAutists may often question whether or not they had been sexually molested or raped or whatever when they become aware of their own dissociations. Their sense of self identity recall through memory is so low, they have to debate whether or not they had been traumatized or not, unsure if their foggy dissociation has any connection to themselves or not. That's how foggy it gets with self identity & autism. Anyone else who had experienced trauma knows exactly what happened, they know they got molested or raped, their minds focus on the fact repeatedly for years, like picking an old wound. They just stop feeling bad about it, they got emotionally numb and normalize the trauma in some way. If you are dissociating and can't remember shit, don't assume you got bad touched or raped. Double check if you got autism or not. If you do, then what causes the dissociation isn't trauma. What causes it is sensory overload. Autists sensory systems are shot to shit. Overbearing amounts of touch or smell or taste or visuals gives that brain fog or fatigue or even dissociation if its spontaneous and moving too fast for the autists mind to process.And sex is an extremely sensory interaction. Arguably the most sensory interaction you can have with another human.
>>34629360>i have essentially no memories of these experienceshave you tried not being blackout drunk while fucking?
>>34638903Interesting. I am diagnosed autistic, hadn't even considered it might be related. What you say here lines up with my experiences in other places, maybe you're right. A bit strange to think about though, that I may be incapable of remembering these things. And makes it a bit difficult when he asks me for tips on how to improve or make me cum lol
>>34639316>Interesting. I am diagnosed autistic.Yeah I could tell that's why I brought it up. I could tell because of the pattern of dissociation after sex, nothing about your personality or anything, you just described typical symptoms and I could tell.And yes it also affects other areas of life. Basically any part of life that was a mental load for you, sensory wise. Your brain will always right click and delete memories of it to lighten the mental load to keep you functioning. Is it weird or strange that you lack the ability to store emotional memory in your recall? Not really. Because you cognitively understand things just fine without it. Your mind just diverts the missing parts to other areas of your mind and strengthens that instead. For autists that's typically organization/linear processing/management of data or information, basically the ability to put things into order. Autists excel at that like crazy.
>>34639316>And makes it a bit difficult when he asks me for tips on how to improve or make me cum lolAlso just tell him about autism and how it changes up the sex protocol. About how sensory stimulation can make or break your ability to cum. And that in order to cum you will require:>Dim lights/darkness>Slow and predictable movements or touching>Lots of lubrication. Plenty of it.>Verbal back and forth, aka he tells you what he is about to do, or tells you precisely what he wants you to do during each step of sex to give you the heads up so you can process and execute the actions.Once sex becomes more sensory friendly and more in control and predictable, you'll get your pleasure big time
>>34639676>>34639663>>34639316Also, your autistic lack of being able to remember your own outwardly expressed feelings can become a bonding experience to share with your boyfriend. Because you cannot remember and he can. He can remember it for you and describe (you) to yourself, being a mirror for you to explore those parts of yourself that you are blind to. Which ultimately leads to a stronger sense of internal self identity the more you practice that with a partner. Has to be a trustworthy person though, someone who won't lie to you or exaggerate or twist the facts of the memories for their own agenda. If you can make it a fun thing to talk about with someone in a relationship, your enjoyment of relationships skyrockets
>>34629360Yes. Memories I have from sex are just flashes. Once I was so fucking horny for a girl that I think I pretty much went into an active coma because I have blurs of me fucking her like an animal but I only regained conscience after I came.
>>34629360How can I remember something that never happened?
>>34629360Anyway nah I don't experience it. Unfortunately I got the opposite, I remember every detail vividly. To the point it's fucking silly. Like one time I had sex with my woman, it was raining outside, we were in bed, I felt cold but didn't wanna say shit. She smelled great, I felt horny but also tired from lack of sleep. We went at it both completely naked, missionary I felt initially paranoid that I wasn't gonna last long but I kept going and going. It was the longest I'd lasted, near 30 minutes of penetration and a had foreplay before it. At some point we were glazed in each other's sweat, I felt like a champ but then I also remembered it's going to be a pain in the ass to sleep on the bed sheets since now sweat silhouettes formed on them from our fucking. I remember every groan and moan every time she tilted her head up eyes closed or toe curl. I even remember how 15 minutes in I had to focus on thrusting because her dog decided to walk into the bedroom, the sound of its claws clacking and scratching on linoleum lol. All of this was going through my head as we fucked btw. And I still remember it a year after the fact. We have sex plenty today but that particular time is burned into my brain.
