i find the most annoying thoughts i have are the thoughts i have about me failing at something. like all of you, i'm also out of sync with social norms and i keep failing over and over. some things of common sense like the shortest path or the easiest way to do something i clearly fail at. all of these are characterised by feelings of humiliation and i feel like there's nothing i can do about it.how can i learn to confront my humiliation around failing at anything(let alone failing at being a social retard) productivelyi would not like to deceive myself around how i failed, i.e. pls don't tell me to laugh things off/pretend i didn't fail horribly
>>34629422"Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."- Samuel Beckett
>>34629434Thing is I can't contrive social situations to grind acting normal. What is one supposed to do with applications where contriving situations to practise don't exist?
>>34629422You have to accept that you failed so you can determine how not to in the future. Having actual motivations for succeeding, even if it's to not disappoint others, helps. There's a gap between understanding and putting it into practice but the important thing is that you're mindful enough to remember why you failed in the past and what you should do instead in those situations.
>>34629422Normally I would say never consider the possibility of failure and influence are your thoughts actively but you seem to be specifically worried about social situations. The idea that you can fail at a social situation is rooted in fear. I strongly recommend getting a hold of your self consciousness. Even having a miserable job interview is not a failure, the real failure would be not going there.
>>34629434What if you're only known for failure? What if you have never felt true success in your life? What if it was all the same mistakes for everything and it never got better?
>>34629422Do you have an autistic demeanor IRL? Like the type where if someone is sitting down you'll stand up directly in front of them while talking to them?If so you need to latch on to a normie you're cool with and ask them to "correct" your socially retarded behavior directly and be competely shameless about it. You have to abandon any kind of ego you have, but it's worked with autists I know. It's a little different because I've pulled myself out of that rut with sheer willpower and know exactly what to tell them in an almost sociopathic way, so YMMV. If you don't wanna do that then exposure therapy is the only way out.
