yeah op i think its time to talk to a doctor and/or look for a therapist. sounds like youve got a bit of a depressive/anhedonic thing going on. nothing wrong with getting help. hope you feel more like yourself soon.

Give it a shot, however you may have to try a couple different ones. I am awful at talking about my feelings so anytime I tried therapy it made me feel worse because they would just project bullshit on to me. I used to be really fucking miserable and had suicide ideation, I was able to get over it without any external help because I was fucking sick of wasting my life and I had an epiphany after a really bad nervous breakdown. I have healthy coping mechanisms now as well, reading philosophy, playing music, and working out. I recommend reaching out to your friends again, if you feel anxious about something that means you must break through it and do it. Anxiety can be fought through and in my experience it blocks most good things in life.

I've had different phases myself. I've been in your state since I was about 15 (32 now). Started suffering major anxiety around the time I was 20 for a variety of reasons, got on SSRIs. Got fat, finally dropped the SSRIs after a few years, eventually worked it all off. They treated anxiety in a way that numbs it, but you feel more complacent than anything, like you just accept the shitshow you're in. But I haven't truly enjoyed doing anything in almost 17 years. I still feel the spark of enjoyment from concepts, but feel no enjoyment at the idea of actually doing anything. I have to hype myself up like I would for doing chores, and I appreciate doing the fun things in the same way I appreciate getting chores done. I appreciate that I did them, but didn't actually enjoy it in a way that makes me feel compelled to keep doing it on a regular basis. It's almost like a semi-permanent state of burnout, and the term seems to be anhedonia.

I've accomplished a few fairly impressive things, but considering how much of the past 17 years of my life has been spent just existing without doing anything of meaning, it should be far greater. All of my motivation for everything major I've accomplished is driven by intense negative emotion. It just reaches a breaking point where the alternative of putting myself through months of grueling work to accomplish something is preferable to the sheer negativity I feel, the desperation to get out. I dream of the day I can feel drive again based on positive emotions, and I think if I can reach that point, I can become something incredible.

I spoke with a psychiatrist for the first time about 10 days ago, and he's prescribing me SNRIs. What this will do is lower my threshold for dopamine to register. Supposedly, if I think about doing something, I'll just do it instead of nagging myself mentally for hours to days to even months depending on the task because I'll receive some actual dopamine feedback.

>>34629889
>When is it time to seek professional help?
When you feel like it. But first you have to ask yourself why you want to go and what you want to get out of it or solve. Though I would argue that if you even think "maybe I should go" or something similar that it's a sign you should probably go.

>How does one do that?
Therapy.com and look through the list, send emails and make calls.

Though just fyi modern therapy is a scam. Specially if you have significant trauma and a shit environment it's probably not gonna help. Theray is not designed nor incentivied to actually help you with your issues. If you are really fucked up and feel directionless I'd suggest looking for a non-Andrew Tate life coach who also offers therapy or psychiatric sessions and help.

>>34629943
It should be 11-18 days before the prescription comes in, and I've been told that therapy will be necessary in conjunction with it. I already figured as much, as I need to undo nearly 2 decades of bad habits. It's also possible that since my threshold for pain tolerance is so high due to having to operate for so long without internal positive reinforcement, I run the risk of overdoing things and burning myself out without even realizing it. And also if it works well, of learning to grieve all my lost years.

But do it now. This is your life that's at stake. Do not just exist and wait for death because there's nothing that makes you feel meaning or purpose or joy.

>>34629852
i'd only recommend therapy if you are unsure of what is causing you misery.
we have some over lap, but also some divergences based on your synopsis. i could also be described as "perfectly functional" (in the obedient goy way, idk your case) but utterly fucking miserable and been letting my friendships slip away since I really get anxious texting people/doing any digital communication because I worry I'm just annoying them the person im speaking to. that said, I have never had a girlfriend and am an unpayed grad student (even in STEM) and need to mooch off my boomer parents reserves.
I do know what is causing me to hate being alive (there was no secret method i followed, i am just a neurotic coward who wastes a lot of time thinking about things instead of ever doing anything. Part of the things i think about are the things I hate about myself and the world). as such, the therapy i am in is pretty useless. I was hoping the therapy would provide some meaningful instructions on how to combat at least some of the sources but it doesn't and instead is at the usual stage where i am being talked to like I am more retarded than i am and being told I shouldn't "put down myself" when having negative thoughts and instead should pretend that being a hideous forever alone manlet mischling in a dying country is actually fine and all the negative feedback is "just in my head since no one has ever explicitly said it back to me :)"
If you actually get a therapist who gives practical advice on how to actually combat the sources, then maybe stay longer, but I have never had a therapist who provided such counsel.

>>34629852
Happiness doesn't come from either dopamine or from external success. It comes from having inner peace. Rather than therapy, you should look into meditation. Or to put it in other terms, you're looking for well-being in the physical when in reality it can only be found in the spiritual.

>>34629852
>therapy
lol lmao
Therapy… you know why people say it doesn’t work? It doesn’t. Consider this: if anybody thinks the solution to your problem is brainlessly regurgitating the things that trouble you, you aren’t actually tackling your problem because the therapist is assuming that you know yourself and the reasons why you think and act the way you do and can step aside and reason your actions and feelings out consciously. However if a person like the op or anyone else did know themselves that well and could decide with 100% rationality how they should react to something they wouldn’t need the therapy in the first place.

Before you waste your time and money get a lacanian psychoanalyst and not a retarded illiterate "therapist" who will give you useless worksheets and doesn't even know what transference is or understand the scope or history of their own career

>>34629852
>When is it time to seek professional help?
Quite some time before now, I would say.