It really gets under my skin when people treat me like I'm soft. I'm not a butch or anything, but I'm not like some princess made of glass either.I ran out of stuff for some chili I was cooking, and my bf was like "just Doordash it, it's late and there's weird people out at this hour". So I point out we can save a little money if we get it ourselves and that I don't mind getting it myself. That turned into a forty minute argument about how he feels like I'm just "acting" tough to prove a point. I told him that I am legitimately tough so he goes "You're short enough that you get the child discounts at most places" and he knows that makes me mad so he was trying to piss me off. I told him I'd just go without him and he picked me up over his head and went "air jail lol" and just kept laughing harder the angrier I got.I feel disrespected. He doesn't treat me like an equal and I want to know that my feelings have weight in the relationship. How can I get him back for this?
You're both kind of right.You probably would have been completely fine going to get the chili ingredients by yourself, but you're not tough. I got in an argument with a bf once about using a bathroom at an isolated parking lot for a hiking trail. He wanted me to take a whistle and knife into the bathroom with me. Once I explained to him that it was 2 in the afternoon, he was within yelling distance, there were 6 cars in the parking lot, and I had just seen 2 other women get in their car and leave, and that I WOULD take the whistle and knife or better yet him if it was 10 pm and the parking lot had only a couple (or worse just one) car he chilled the fuck out. They don't understand how women do risk assessment. Explain to him why you think you would be okay instead of just going "nuh uh".
>>34629894I explain that kind of stuff and everything, but he always just goes "you're small tho, so just be careful". Its like he refuses to see I can handle shit without him getting involved.
>>34629894I never understand the knife advice, there is no way I would be able to hold on to that if a man was grabbing at or even just twisting my wrist (one of the weakest point of my body). I would just get knifed with the knife I brought myself. >>34630000Ask him in a bemused way>so how do you think I have managed to survive before meeting you?and make him feel sheepish probably. If he doubles down that you got lucky then it's pointless and he probably just does not want to consider you can navigate life because he enjoys thinking of you as vulnerable and dependent on him to be okay.
>>34629872LOL air jail
>>34629872If you're child-coded, then that makes your boyfriend a pedophile. Moreover, it's something he is aware of, as he commented on it. You should have the police check his pc and phone.
>>34629872Don't act tough just stop crying and carry A: a gliZy B: bear maceShoot if the ops catch u
>>34630215A short woman is not a child, anon.
>>34629872>How can I get him back for this?That is the wrong question. You need to break up with him and be with someone who respects you. Engaging with him in any way won't help.
>>34630015>I swear most men are delusional about their own knife skills in a fight, and that might carry over to their woman. Or more likely they're assuming that just having the knife out is going to be a deterrent to most attackers.I might get lucky if I had a tazer but I agree with you if I had a knife, gun, or pepper spray I'd just be hurting myself lol.
>>34629872If you were tough you'd be able to deal with this.
>>34631177If she was tough she'd have just walked out.
>>34630015trying to grab the wrist of someone with a knife sounds like a good way to get your hands stabbed
Calm down, he's just trying to protect you, as is literally his role as a man.
>>34632960Says who? Who decides there are specific jobs for men and women? Why is it a man's job to tell a woman where she can and can't go? Sounds like misogyny.
>>34634048I feel bad for whatever poor soul is stuck dealing with your high maintenance BPD ass. He deserves better.
>>34629872You could have dated a nerdy chud who would store a closet full of chilli for you, but no, you wanted the 6'2 asshole gigachad because his dick felt alright and you enjoyed him abusing other people around you. Now you're the abused one but you still are in love with his dick.Here's what to do: Leave him and get a decent guy instead, and don't go all high and mighty with that tough girl bullshit either, you're not a child anymore, that's more to do with understanding how people around you feel rather than risk assessment.Otherwise, keep warming that dick from air jail, lol.
>>34634147How is she abused? He is literally acting to prevent harm.
>>34634483"air jail" is blatant abuse dumbass, the whole egging on shit is psychological abuse. OP's bitchy personality is probably consequence of choosing abusive demeaning idiots over and over, now it has tainted her idea of strength and prudence.
>>34634525Ok, and what else is the guy supposed to do? Sit and wait while she runs out and gets murdered, raped, mugged, or some combination of the three? Air jail isn't hurting her.
>>34634595Nta but yeahShe's an adult and he's restraining her. It's technically false imprisonment if you want to go there.
>>34629872rich people with relationships are somehow the most miserable fucks on earth
>>34630015The trick is you don't hold it to threaten, you hold it to stab them with immediately and repeatedly so they leave.Women don't even understand the basics of existence yet act this way.You also complain about guns like "well I'd never fire one, I'll just die instead, I'll protect someone but I'll never fight back". Okay, then die righteously? And stop acting like you should be respected for being suicidal masochists with rape fetishes because you never had to grow up. Fucking absurd.
>>34629872Air jail will never not be funnyYou should have argued that it isn't that dangerous in the first place though
>>34635327Air jail is abusive. It's stripping her of her independence and being immensely controlling for a moment's novelty humor of "lol you're short". It's not funny, it's asshole behavior.
>That turned into a forty minute argument about how he feels like I'm just "acting" tough to prove a point.You guys aren't going to have kids are you? I was out past midnight jumping over homeless addicts in the parking lot so my kids can have fresh fruit in the morning. I told my husband that I'm heading out and he replies ok. Why would either of us fight over something so stupid when we're adults. It's easy to walk around at night when you're not trying to kill yourself.>he feels like I'm just "acting" tough to prove a pointProjection.Both of you are instantly dead when shit goes down.>I feel disrespected. He doesn't treat me like an equalHe's going to complain about you being as useless as a child, while asking to be in a relationship with a woman as useless as a child.
>>34635928>I was out past midnight jumping over homeless addicts in the parking lot so my kids can have fresh fruit in the morning. I told my husband that I'm heading out and he replies ok. Fake.
>>34634595>Ok, and what else is the guy supposed to do? Sit and wait while she runs out and gets murdered, raped, mugged, or some combination of the three?Yes, that is EXACTLY what he is supposed to do. Imprisoning her in the house should not be regarded as an option.>Air jail isn't hurting her.It's a crime. She should report him. t. man who doesn't do this kind of shit
>>34629872>he picked me up over his head and went "air jail lol" and just kept laughing harder the angrier I got.Kick him as hard as you can next time, in the balls if possible.
