I really need advice on what to do, my sister was raped by my old best friend, but didn't tell me till a year later, she doesn't want me to do anything to him and my parents say I should move on, I can get all his information but can do nothing with it, what should I do.
>>34636044What kind of rape? Got drunk and hooked up at a party? If she doesn't care then she doesn't care.
>>34636044You can save someone that doesn't want to be saved, get over it. She has accepted the trade off.All you can do is cut off all your ties with that asshole and make him understand that if it was up to you, you would put a screwdriver across his brain.
>>34636044Beat the shit out of him
The problem is as well, for a little more context no they were not drunk he fully intended to do it, even though she had constantly said no, and now not only that, my cousin who knew that he had raped my sister is now dating him, despite knowing, and she doesn't care, my whole family is fucked up, my sister doesn't want anything to happen because now shes so scared of everyone and everything shes been harming herself and im scared for her, and my parents just dont won't me getting in trouble with the law again its just a lot and I've not found any solution, but I am going to do something whether its now or later.
>>34636044>what should I doRespect your sister's wishes. The last thing in the world she needs is someone else trying to take control of the situation.
>>34636213I understand, my only advice is that you could probably do something in a way that nobody knows it's you, you could even do multiple somethings across the months/years, and remember ruining someones psyche is always better in the end than simply beating the shit out of him just once.
>>34636044Sounds like it was consensual and she just regrets it
>>34636083this is probably the best option
>>34636362>Sounds like it was consensual and she just regrets itTrue. Seems like since he switched to their cousin, now she is trying to play the rape card.
No its not a rape card, she was 14 at the time of the rape, im mutiple years older than her, and she had told our cousin about the rape many months before my cousin actually even got with him, so no my 14 year old sister is not playing a fucking rape card, she was raped a guy older than her that knew she didn't want anything to do sex at all. My cousin despite knowing he raped her said quote "I dont care He's probably changed by now he's nice" they are all assholes and defending him despite knowing what he did, he already admitted to my cousin about getting with her and forcing her to do things but my cousin didn't care and got with him anyways
You can't solve this dysfunction. Not on your own. Just take a deep breath and control what you can control. Don't throw your life away and do something stupid. If anything you should be trying to get your sister counseling or a psychiatrist visit if she isn't already and you need to consider the reality of the situation. Your family IS dysfunctional. You need to be very careful to try and escape this cycle of grief.
>>34636600How did you let a guy older than you alone with your sister? Tell me.
Like I said he WAS a friend I've literally known him since we were toddlers, I trusted him. That was my mistake I guess.
>>34636640But what did he do? Did he beat her or use force? How old is he?
Also the age gap is two years when she was 14 he was 16 same with me I was 16 so yeah I never in a million years would of expected him to do that. Just goes to show no matter how long you know someone you cant trust them.
>>34636652That sucks, honestly, it's not your fault. But, answer my question, did he use force? Can't you denounce him?
Yes he did use force but obviously it had happened a year ago and I didn't find out about it till many months after it happened, but about denouncing him is easier said than done, he knows a shit ton of people and has bragged to his friends about sleeping with her. He's fucked and their is pretty much nothing i can do about it.
>>34636679Thats seriously fucked up, if you want to actually do something try to gather as much details and evidence and you could report him but you still need to have a deep conversation with your sister and ask if she wants this reported. Im so sorry this happened btw i hope your sister gets the justice she deserves and you shouldn't blame yourself because you didnt know this was happening.
You can always ask a lawyer about the situation and see what he says. Local laws are so different place to place it's hard to know what could or would happen if she filed a complaint or police report. But whatever you do, think before you do it.
Thanks you guys have been helpful its nice to actually talk about it and get some opinions about the situation so thanks for the help and time.
If I was in your situation, I would do something unspeakable, I don't think you should though. You would be destroying your life. Gather proof and try denouncing him, but you'll have to ask your sister and try to convince her to fight back, if she doesn't want to, she will forever live with this shadow in her mind.
>>34636704If he admits to it in text, it would be easier to prove.Talking to a lawyer might be a good idea. This thing can be hard on the victim
>>34636044If you really want to do something, I would meticulously stalk the guy, gather as much information as I can about him and expose him to all off his important contacts (family, friends, school/college, workplace, the law, etc...). I'd honestly groom your sister into recording a video in which she confesses everything that happened, and I'd also talk to a lawyer as some other anon said, to get options.Then there's the violent option, sure, you could theoretically plan a way to execute this person over some months, but:>the chances of that going wrong are very high due to multiple reasons, and you would be at great risk of destroying your life.>it won't give you the closure you're seeking. It will leave you empty, guilt-ridden and scared.This also applies if you go for a beating, just with weaker consequences, but still a waste of time.The wisest option, in my opinion? Walk away from that whole mess as soon as you can, and if you can't right now, find a way and dissociate from everyone around you until you can. As you said, your family is fucked up, and wasting your life around fucked up people who will just keep dragging you down and don't want to be helped or change, is illogical.
>>34636241>Respect your sister's wishes. The last thing in the world she needs is someone else trying to take control of the situation.Best advice on the thread. OP seems far more concerned with his feelings than his sister's.
>>34636044You know what to do
>>34636044Tell her to get cops involved, she might be afraid of your family, but if they are willing to ignore rape of a family member they aren't your family. Or go boar hunting with him, just make sure no accidents happen, if you catch my drift.
>>34636044call 911 report him. duh
>>34636679how did you find out?
