I live my life with an aura of negativity because everything I want to do in life, every long term goal, I feel I cannot do. I think to myself, "I'd be delusional to think I could do that."So then thats what I must be. How do I develop delusional levels of self confidence?
>>34639221Negativity is the delusion, positivity is reality. Your goal should be to strip away the delusions you currently have, because what you currently believe doesn't follow reason and doesn't line up with reality. In reality, logic states that you can't achieve success if you don't strive towards it. To defeat yourself before you've even tried is the height of delusion and insanity.
>>34639229>To defeat yourself before you've even triedbut its not really defeat before I've tried. It is progressing down a skill path until I've hit a wall that I try over and over again to pass but I cannot. In my mind, this is evidence to support my negative mindset.
>>34639221>how do I develop delusional levels of self confidence?From a mental perspective, you want to change both your actions, thought process and reality.The best way to break down patterns of thought starts with action. Rather than thinking, "is it rational to do it?" just DO. If that is too difficult for you, try exhausting yourself first. That way your mind will do less thinking.Next, you want to control the perception of information you receive. Lets say you tried something and failed miserably. Instead of letting those mistakes confirm your beliefs, positively affirm failure. Celebrate it, keep pushing yourself further down into different kinds of failure with a smile. If something feels distant or impossible, it would be the perfect thing to do, because you know you'll fail which will bring you joy.You want to eliminate cognitive dissonancei.e your actions contradict how you actually feel. The simplest way to do it is Pavlovian psychological conditioning, if I do blank, then blank reward happens. This creates an automatic, involuntary response to failure, teaching the brain to associate a signal with an positive event
>>34639317ok I guess I need to find some way to flood my brains reward center any time I face a big failure?That just seems counter intuitive. Wouldnt I just learn to fail more and stagnate instead of improving?
>>34639547>Wouldn't I just learn to fail more and stagnate instead of improving?That's the problem. Your mind is focused on failing as a bad thing when in reality it is the only way to progress. If you stop whenever you encounter failure, you will almost never succeed. If you celebrate failure and only move on after something is completed then you can start enjoy the process, failure or not.I enjoy making things, often times people will like or dislike the things I create. For example, my first buisness card was ripped up in front of me and thrown away. People told me what I made was garbage, so I got pissed. For a while I used anger as fuel, which left me feeling constantly frustrated while I made things. So naturally, making things became a frustrating process. That was when I decided to reward myself for failing, using joy as fuel instead of hatred. Sure, I failed. A whole lot. But I enjoyed every failure because every dead end was something to celebrate. I could laugh it off and move on to the next project. The process of making things: specifically the process of improving, became something that sparked joy. Now, every person I meet is inspired by my buisness cards, in a way they can feel the joy and passion I put into my work. The material, the concept and functionality are unlike anything those who meet me have seen before.TLDREnjoying failure makes winning even better.
>>34639547You just need to shift your focus away from the outcome and more towards the effort that you put in. That way, you'll never stagnate because your joy and satisfaction will come from you pushing past your limits. You should view a good attempt as a success whether or not the final product looks like you had hoped, because good attempts will eventually lead you to where you want to go.
>>34640028>If you stop whenever you encounter failure, you will almost never succeedThats true, but what about the other side of it? Where people don't improve on skills despite continuing to put in time?Like those people who play a competitive game and grind thousands upon thousands of hours but can't make it out of the low ranks.
>>34642655>Where people don't improve on skills despite continuing to put in time?The only thing that causes people to continually fail is to not learn from your mistakes or by stopping the learning process entirely. The point of failure is to take the things that went wrong and improve them. Figure out why you failed and celebrate the other hard work you have done so far. When you get people telling you no, slamming the door on your face, even spitting at you don't think "I will never do this again, I am a failure" think "That was a good first start! How can I improve?" Then try again in a new way, keep going at it until you slowly build up where your lacking. Eventually you will be better in every area compared to people who are trying for the first time. If you can first become familiar with failure, then you will eventually become familiar with success.
>>34642655Wouldn't the lesson from failing be "that competitive game isn't for me and I should only play it for fun"?The reward should be to have awareness of what you're realistically good at and focus your efforts on something better.
