I grew up in foster care and got moved around a bunch. I kept running away from them whenever I could, because they kept insisting on controlling how I dress and how I refer to myself.They didn't like when I cut my hair short, or when I dressed like a guy. They kept throwing out my jeans and my T-shirts whenever they found them. I had a stash of secret clothes I'd change into whenever I left the house during the times I did have to stay with them, because girly clothes just made me feel like a weirdo.Eventually I ran away and aged out of the system before they found me so they didn't really care past that point. I started calling myself Marc and cut my hair short.I was always kinda petite so I never needed a binder. Nobody ever took me for a guy, but getting to dress how I wanted and call myself what I liked felt like freedom.I talked to a doctor about getting started on the hormones and stuff, and they referred me to a psychiatrist to confirm I'm trans and stuff before moving forward. I talked to the psychiatrist and she said it sounds like I'm just trying to reclaim control over my life by rebellin against biology.I feel like theres more to it than that, but she sort of shut the book on my ability to move forward with this by that diagnosis. I can't afford to just keep seeing psychiatrists to try again for a different opinion, but I am trying to save money for it.I'm with a guy who's into me though, who agreed to let me stay with him and cover expenses if I'd be exclusive with him. He made it clear I have to find my own place if I transition though.It feels like the world is against me here, and the battle to be who I want to be seems impossible compared to what would probably be a pretty easy life if I just go with the flow.To put it kinda short, do I really have a shot with any of this? I'm willing to put up a fight and keep trying to transition if I have an actual chance, but I don't want to waste time struggling if I'm guaranteed to lose.
>>34639271>but kinda not sureYeah, do it, then regret it, then become depressed, then post a thread saying how much you regret it, and then eventually commit suicide. There, thread is finished. We can wrap up this one.
>It feels like the world is against me hereThis is how every man's life is, everywhere, all the time. You want to be a man? No one cares about you, most people want to rob you, kill you, or just hate you for the way you were born. Being a man is a horrible disgusting, smelly life. It's a world of cut throat competition with other men and no one is even polite to you. Testosterone will age you faster and makes you die early. Based on how you describe your body shape you will never pass as a man and never be fully accepted as a man by other men. Your best hope is to become some twink rape sock for a group of men which to be fair you can do now without HRT.>compared to what would probably be a pretty easy life if I just go with the flowThis is called being a woman, being a woman, even one with short hair and boy clothes, is life on easy mode. So that's your only real choice. Live life on easy mode or live life as a piece of human trash no one cares if you live or die and never lifts a finger to help you. I live in a small town, I wave at everyone I see walking or driving by. 90% of the men wave back. 0% of the women wave back. Being a man is a shit life and you're stupid for wanting to be a man. Cut your hair, wear boy clothes, do all the things that make you happy but being a man doesn't even make men happy.
>>34639271Works of fiction belong on /b/.
>>34639367>Your best hope is to become some twink rape sock for a group of men which to be fair you can do now without HRT.I'm not even into guys desu. I don't have much drive for sex at all, I think I'm asexual. My alternative to dating this guy was to the homeless despite having a job since it didn't pay enough tho.>This is called being a woman, being a woman, even one with short hair and boy clothes, is life on easy mode.Having walked more than a mile in these shoes let me just be clear, it's not easy mode it's just the path of least resistance for me. People just ignore what I say half the time bc they assume they know better or that I'm being emotional. A lot of decisions get made about me by the people in my life without me ever getting a say. Life as a woman has its own challenges, and it's fighting to get people to acknowledge you as even being a person at all half the time.
>>34639520IDK why it said desu I typed desu
>>34639271>>34639520I don't know about that gender stuff, but I have zero doubt in my mind that you're a woman inside. No man could ramble about his identity this much. I didn't even read it, so I'm not sure what you are, but if you have a cock between your legs, you're one of those legit trannies, so take estrogen or whatever even if you're an ogre.
>>34639520That anon is right. Life as a man sucks, you think people will acknowledge you if you have a dick? If you're a woman, people will pretend to acknowledge you and try to calm you down but if you try the same shit as a guy you'll just get shouted down and called a fag or ignored entirely.But its a moot point anyways. You will never be a man, you'll always be FtM if you transition and people will treat you with even more care and sensitivity because from my experience most of you are traumatized or very sensitive, I wouldn't dare treat one of you like I'd treat a normal guy.I'm not sure what exactly you want out of this world, you're right that 'easy mode' isn't really easy and I'm sorry to hear it, but I sure as hell don't think making it harder is a solution. And no, you're not a guy for not wanting to wear a dress or act girly.
>>34639271>To put it kinda short, do I really have a shot with any of this? I'm willing to put up a fight and keep trying to transition if I have an actual chance, but I don't want to waste time struggling if I'm guaranteed to lose.Sorry, I was ignoring your post.A chance at what? Becoming and passing as a guy?Maybe, I don't think T is that hard to get, but I fear you'll find that it won't be what you expected.
>>34639271Look up FTM detransition rates. Read all the stories on r/detrans. YOU WILL REGRET IT. You also mentioned you're short, which is even worse as a man. I recommend watching this video. Its some testimonials of women who went the same path as you. It will show you that being a man is not what you think. The guy who made it is a psl autist so its hard to follow but just focus on the testimonials part. https://youtu.be/ku5bf3qfOrY?is=fu92QMqb_EJCsdbK
>>34639524go back.
You will never be a real man. You have no sperm, you have no testes, you have no prostate. You are a homosexual woman twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.Women are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed women to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a woman. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk chick home with you, She’ll turn tail and bolt the second she gets a whiff of your diseased, infected phallo. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a woman is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably female.This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
>>34640218>You are a homosexual womanI think I'm asexual?>twisted by drugs and surgeryI haven't gotten either yet??>Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of youI grew up in foster care and never met them???>Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointmentIdk who they are so I doubt they know where I am or what I'm doing at all. Are you ok dude? You seem really worked up about this.
>>34639271Ywnbam
>>34639271It sounds you are trying to change yourself to the extreme because you hate yourself over your early life. Just accept that what happened to you is horrible, but those experiences made you who you are today. And don't think that everyone is against you if they say that you are wrong and shouldn't do something, sometimes people we disagree with mean us we'll while people we agree with want to harm us.
>>34639271>if I have an actual chanceyou don't and will regret it, look up detransitioners, being trans is a mistake, so is being gay. you will ruin your life and kill yourself down the line if you transition. just try to be normal instead and stop using the internet for a while, stop looking at porn and jacking off too.
>>34639271>FTM?stopped reading here/adv is not suited to talk about transgender issues. try /lgbt or a gender specialist
