File: o0480085410275574646.jpg (40 KB, 480x854)

40 KB JPG

Been carrying something around for almost 2 years now and I feel stupid even typing it.

Back around 2 years ago I had a small online friend group. It was just me, 2 other guys, and 2 girls. We talked pretty much every day for months, almost a year. I know online friendships get mocked a lot, but it genuinely felt real to me.

I was especially close with one of the girls. We talked a lot in DMs and, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I ended up developing feelings for her. Nothing ever happened, she lived in another country anyway, but she became someone I really looked forward to talking to.

Then one day, near the end of the year, I just... stopped replying to everyone.

I wish I had some dramatic reason, but I don't. It's like I suddenly became incapable of responding. Every day I'd think "I'll reply tomorrow" and then I wouldn't. I have pretty severe OCD and looking back I honestly think it played a huge role in it, but I still don't fully understand why I did it.

The weird part is that even after almost 2 years, I still randomly think about them. There were times where I was mindlessly at the street and suddenly remember that friend group. Sometimes I'm scrolling through my phone and out of nowhere I think about her specifically.

I don't know if I miss her, if I miss who I was back then, or if I just never got closure because I disappeared without saying anything. She was kind of my sweetheart at the time, which sounds pathetic because it was entirely online and I've never really had anything like that in real life.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Or am I just that pathetic?