Cultivating humility and gentleness will help you feel better by ripping up that negativity from the roots. The discontentment you're feeling isn't caused by your inability to vocalized your dissatisfaction, it's caused by the dissatisfaction itself. Rather than thinking of ways to hurt or insult the people who annoy you, it's better to learn how not to get annoyed in the first place.

>>34646404
Not OP but that's a load of feminized feel-good new-age nonsense. Suppressing negativity is the shortest path to becoming a non-functional neurotic mess. Negativity and negative emotions are half of the lived human experience. If you deny those, you deny half of your own life force and you wind up feeling only half alive. Completely miserable but pretending you're not. Look up what toxic positivity is.

>>34646374
Practice negativity, learn to say no, have boundaries, if need be tell others to fuck off, to their face and then slam the door on them. Just be sure not to stick around because you have decades of pent up rage that can blow up and disproportionately escalate. If you want to own and wield anger and negativity, you do it in small measured doses. Bleed it out slowly like pus from a wound. Start small and work your way up the rage ladder.

Contrary to what retards believe, by giving yourself the outlet for negativity, you do something called "processing". Which means you feel less and less trapped anger, you let go of it by using it. So fucking use it. There is nothing wrong with anger or expressing anger. The idea that anger = wrong comes to us from American Protestant-Christian Puritanism, because they were retarded and couldn't actually interpret the Bible. They will call wrath and anger a sin, yet when even Jesus was angered multiple times in the Bible, all of a sudden the American-Christian protestants shut their mouth. Anger is not bad or sinful or wrong. It's how you use it that can be wrong. So use the anger, just use it in a way that doesn't hurt others. And no, hurting feelings is not real hurt. I mean, don't use anger to assault others or whatever and you are all good.

>>34646466
>>34646374
>Continued
Consider getting rid of your friend who mocks you, that's not a friend that's a snake. Either that or tell him if he doesn't stop, he's out the door. Assertively tell your friend group to make efforts, if they don't show up when you invite them (if they had agreed) call them out on their ghosting shit.

And don't give a fucking dime to your parents btw. That money you earned? You earned that. You were the one who broke blood and sweat to earn it. That paycheck has your name written on it, so don't deny yourself the fruits of your own labour that's bullshit. Make a start, go look up something you want and buy that. Do it today even. Just don't blow it all at once.

And get angry more, because the thing about people pleasers, is they're dishonest people. Pretending to be chill and agreeable when actually you're fucking pissed = deception. It's dishonesty. The kind that only hurts yourself.

"Empathy without boundaries is self destruction."

If you emphasize with absolutely everyone without boundaries of your own, you destroy yourself. Remember that. By trying to please everyone, you will please no one. Be selective and only give empathy to people who you know are capable of returning it.

People will say "oh no but you need to give it to everyone without expectation of return". Those people are delusional egotists who try to be God or Jesus, never understanding that humans are incapable of that. That doesn't mean go and be an evil fuckhead, what it means is be honest about shit, and only work within your limits by setting boundaries. Start excluding others, and understand excluding = abusing. Only narcissistic retards think that. Only egotistical emotional vampires feel offended when you refuse to let them in your life. You don't owe them shit. People like that somehow think absence of your validation = pain.. they're mentally ill. Fuck em bro.

>>34646518
Excluding =/= abusing*

>>34646466
The goal isn't to pretend you aren't miserable, it's to actually be not miserable. You can discern the difference with introspection. Chosen negativity has nothing to offer to the human experience, it's purely detrimental. The negativity that you don't choose is valuable for the sake of education, but choosing negativity is no different from choosing to flagellate yourself pointlessly. Dwelling on resentment is always chosen negativity.

OP here. When I posted that, it was a rant - a scream into the void.

>>34646404
Thanks for the reply, but this does not sound useful or constructive. Pretending to not be annoyed / finding new ways to continue taking shit is what I've been doing and it does. not. work.

>>34646466
>>34646518
>>34646526
Thank you for the guidance. It's true, people-pleasing is dishonest and lying to myself feels like shit. Without a job to distract me, it's becoming clearer and clearer just how shit it feels.

I haven't given, and will not give, any of that money to my parents. I strategically hide from them how much I actually have. They have no idea. They think I just have a basic middle-class existence cuz that's what I want them to think.

I have to learn how to set boundaries on my own this late in life. There was no such thing as healthy boundaries in my childhood.

>>34646631
I'm not suggesting that you pretend not to be annoyed. I'm suggesting that you learn how to avoid annoyance entirely through meditation and by exercising the virtues of humility and patience. Insults and disrespect can't harm you, only your opinions about insults and disrespect can harm you. Anyone who changes his opinions and masters his own mind can go through life without any bitterness or resentment.

>>34646716
Disrespect is disrespect it doesn't matter what your own opinions are of the disrespect pointed at you. You are naive if you think those who disrespect you only stop at verbal disrespect. It does not stop there, it becomes slight, then it becomes gossip, then it becomes lying on your name, then usury, taking advantage either financially or socially, escalating slowly until you put up with blatant abuse, whether that's verbal or physical. Trying to be 'Zen' about being a doormat doesn't make you less of a doormat. It just makes you a doormat with a cute yin/yang design on the cover. Still walked on. Good for you if you numbed yourself and buried your head in the sand. But the ostrich who buries his head in the sand still has his ass exposed, he still gets fucked.

>>34646374
Nigga, I can be your life coach or some shit if you let me stay with you or something. Unless you are larping about the 3 million.

>>34646631
>Thank you for the guidance
Any time. I'm not a wise guru guy myself I won't pretend to know what's best for you. The goal is to remember that (you) know what is best for you. It's about balance, being agreeable & disagreeable at the same time. Being positive + negative, both are important aspects of human nature. Both of them are required to live a life that is whole.

Unfortunately we live in a neurotic narcissistic time in history were people have inside-out egos. They demonize ego as if it were a bad thing, yet they do so with an upside down ego of their own, they still expect others to kiss their ass. Healthy egotism is about accepting and owning your ego, which makes you more trustworthy long term because to express both negativity and positivity is to be honest. Honest people are the ones who don't fall into extremity, neither becoming an abuser or someone who allows abuse.

>have to learn how to set boundaries on my own this late in life. There was no such thing as healthy boundaries in my childhood

I believe you. That's how it happens. You can tell exactly when a child will become a man who can't say "no" right at the start, I see it with parents all the time today.

>Child is 2-3
>Guests come over
>Parents fake smile and tell the kid
>"Go hug aunty or unc! Go go!"
>Kid doesn't want to. Kids at this age are wary of strangers
>Kid says no
>Parents get angry at kid
>"Do it! Do as you are told! Go and hug them and don't be mean!"
>Kid learns saying no or having boundaries is wrong
>If kid gets angry or says something back to the parents
>"Never speak that way! If you don't have anything NICE to say, don't say it at ALL"
That's how it starts. And the reason weak parents like that do this is because they would rather please guests and strangers than encourage the privacy or individuality of their own child. Aka people pleaser parents produce people pleaser kids.

It's a cycle that can be broken. Never too late to start

>>34648032
Anyone who obsesses over what other people think about him is dooming himself to misery. It's not anyone else's fault that you feel angry and resentful, because it was your own responsibility to make yourself immune to slander and gossip. Your only goal in life should be to live upright, honestly and virtuously. Everything else must be allowed to fall where it falls, otherwise you're making the foolish mistake of grasping at what isn't yours to control. That doesn't mean you have to be a "doormat", because doing what's right includes not enabling manipulators and cheats. But it also includes not being hurt or emotionally roughed up by them, either. Simply make your own conduct good and go about your life, while ignoring petty distractions. What you're doing is worse than being an ostrich, you're intentionally going out of your way to stick your head into manure. What I'm suggesting is that you don't stick your head in anything, keep it high and keep it in the clear light of truth and righteousness and nothing can actually harm you.