I must be extremely selfish with my time, otherwise it will always be used by someone else, especially my mother-in-law (and sometimes my dad). She's an expert of utilizing everyone and everything for her own good, she's the type to never lift 1 finger if she can trip you into using your own time and resources for free.I'm very sad for this state of affairs, but I must be extremely decisive or I'll always lose.My question is, is this normal, should I just keep being very selfish with my time as to not being used every hour or every day for menial tasks? How do I ignore the guilt and shaming when that happens? I've given in at times and it was always detrimental to me.I've noticed some people are very good at tripping others to do their shit for them, and some people are like born to be cattle for lack of a better word. I need to be locked the fuck in every minute of every day unless I want to sign up for free menial labor.Halp
Do what you wantHelp people when you wantAsk for help when you needNothing is right or wrongJust take care of yourself first and be true to your own nature
>>34648513Easy in theory, harder is practice. I have this thing where I feel like if I can help, I must help even if I don't feel like it. And if I don't help or worse, I pretend like I can't help to preserve my own limited time and energy, I feel like a fraud and a liar and that weighs on my mind for some time. Impostor syndrome although it's not that exactly.
>>34648535That feeling is your conscience. It's an impulse towards what you ought to be doing, but it has to be managed by reason. You are morally obligated to help when you can help, but the key is to know yourself well enough to know when you can't help. If you need time for yourself to maintain your own well-being, either in a mental sense or a practical sense, then that should be your highest priority because your ability to help others and be a source of good in the world is dependent upon your own stability and peace of mind. I'd suggest spending some time each day meditating on what you can and cannot do, and setting reasonable limits for yourself. Not only will that give you a plan to work with, but meditation in and of itself is a calming and energy restoring practice.
