I'm too embarrassed to say all this to my friends. I know this is pathetic. I'm 22 if it's relevant.My last ex told me she wanted to marry me and then fucked off and emigrated. I actually could deal with that. That wasn't the worst. Like it sucked but I could accept it. I wouldn't want to hold her back in her career to be with me. That could only end in resentment. If you love someone, let them go and all that. It hurt like hell but it wouldn't have led to this by itself.I tried it on with a woman I had a lot in common with after the breakup. I thought we could get along really well together. And we did! We went on two coffee dates that lasted 3+ hours each time. I ended up getting drunk and told her I fancied her over text when plans fell through for a third. The text actually was rather well written for something I wrote after being thrown out of a bar. No typos or anything. I just said "I wanted to say it in person but haven't seen you in a while. I really like you and I'm wondering if you'd like to get sushi sometime?" The answer included the word "Never". That one was extra humiliating because it's a small town and we were seen by a local gossip on both dates. And I vaguely remember telling acquaintances that I was going to ask her out before I got kicked from the bar. I actually found this one funny more than anything.Then my best friend started flirting with me, getting very hands on with me, making BIG emotional statements about how much she valued me and how I understand her like nobody else does, how we'd make a great couple etc etc etc. So I decided to ask her out and found out she was actually riding one of my friends. She'd spent the last year talking shit about him in public so nobody would know. Isn't that just horrible? She was too embarrassed of him to be with him in public! Add to that then my own feelings of being led on. We're actually going to be living together next academic year. Dreading it. I can't but hold her in contempt.
part 2/2I really did love her. I'd have done anything for her.But life isn't so bad! I've met a nice girl, she's from my area and we go to the same university. I have been told by mutual friends that she actually really likes me and wants to go on a date with me. I asked her for her number and we agreed to try find a time to go out, maybe wait until University restarts at the end of August if we have to. We're both very busy at the moment with placement, work and holidays. Shouldn't have anything to worry about, should I?The thing is, she's really shy and is inexperienced. Basically because I got shafted three times in 2026, and because I'm not seeing much of her and neither of us are "good" texters, I keep overthinking this and ending up in mini-chud-crises worrying that she doesn't like me at all and is playing some kind of game to fuck with me or stroke her own ego. I have literally zero evidence for this, but about once a week I have one of these crises if I don't run into her. When I see her, those fears are washed away.I used never be like this. I hate it. I used be so confident before.
>>34649537I can see why you are developing trust issues. My only advice to talk to people who have good relationships or read uplifting stories and maybe don't date for a bit, take some time to recover your faith in human goodness
>>34649627OP here on a different device. Idk will I show up as OP or not. Anyway thank you for your advice and your sympathy :) I have been trying to stay off social media because it stokes distrust in the other sex because of culture war bullshit. I've been trying to read a lot and do a bit of writing and study to keep distracted in the evenings but not to much avail. It does help.
>>34649709I thinking staying off social media is a good idea. There are a lot of bad women out there and you've met a few of them. Just take some time to relearn that good women are also out there
>>34649718Funny thing is I met them all irl. Anyway I have a good feeling most of the time about the current girl. I hope it works out. Otherwise I'll take a break until something falls into my lap
