>>34654559
She wants to date you. No woman just "hangs out" with a guy 1 on 1 without some kind of potential ulterior motivation or at the least allowance of opportunity for romance to flourish. Don't let women and millennial weak men fool you either, if a woman is hanging out with you 1 on 1 and has agreed to be alone with you, it has significance. But she will be watching and waiting on how you play it before she selects. That's why we say women are the selective sex. Women deny this only because they are non-confrontational and they never want people to see their true motivations, makes them feel all insecure and self concious.

For example:

>She's been pretty clear that she wants to date someone around her age
That's woman speak for "Please don't think negatively of me for being potentially attracted to you an older man. I promise I don't have daddy issues!"

You aren't going to ruin a friendship because men and women cannot be friend unless they become boyfriend and girlfriend.. that's why we say boyFRIEND or girlFRIEND.

The only type of person who denies this and swears they can have multiple friends of opposite sex are the ones who don't actually want to commit to you and they really want to have options.

So with all that said: Take her somewhere nice, have a good time, make her laugh if possible. Then afterwards shoot your shot and ask her for the next date. An actual date. Tell her to her face you want to take romantic dates.

If she declines and gets up her own ass about it, boohoo. Stop texting her or seeing her because all she wants from you is for you to be her emotional tampon until she gets a boyfriend.

If you stay as a 'friend' what's happens is when she gets a BF, you're gone. She ghosts and cuts all ties.

>>34654571
>But she will be watching and waiting on how you play it before she selects.
Yeah I'm aware of this but would still be nice if you could elaborate on it
>Shoot your shot and ask her for the next date. An actual date
We most likely will hang out at least a few times this summer if she doesn't chicken out, that was the original plan anyway. What specifically do you have in mind; what would "ask her on an actual date" look like?
I don't really want to force anything with this girl or ask her to be my girlfriend, I'm probably not in the best place to be having a relationship right now anyway - but I could see us making each other very happy if it does work out. From what I know about her we'd probably get along better than most if not all of my exes.

>>34654618
>If you could elaborate on it
She will want to see how you are dressed, are you tidy or untidy? She will want to see how your posture looks. Do you slouch or do you have a confident gait? She will want to see you offer to pay for her meal. Are you charitable or not charitable? (Good women won't actually want you to pay 100%, good ones insist to split the bill. But they still want to see you make the offer anyway). She will want to see if you can hold your composure, do you keep a cool head during stressful situations? She will want to see if you can express your emotions, do you wall up like a stone and go cold or can you admit "i feel anxious" to people? (Women don't want unfeeling cold hearted dickheads. But they don't want the overbearing crybaby who trauma dumps either. They want the balance of in between). She wants to basically see someone who is comfortable in their own body and in their own mind who can treat the date in a non serious relaxed way yet also takes her seriously at the same time (aka, considers her feelings and makes effort to help her feel comfortable).

When I try to describe this to other men who are still building up their experience I put it like this:
You know the "I don't care anymore" "fuck it I won't try" attitude? Adopt that but put a positive spin on it. That's the golden ticket. Neither caring but not being a downer about it. Positive apathy sorta thing. Absurdism type thing.

>I don't really want to force anything or ask her out
What women want is someone who will ask them out. Especially if it's a man who feels uncertain because it shows such a man deemed her worth it, worthy enough to fight through his own uncertainty to have her. Makes her feel special.

I know my advice is cryptic and a bit vague. But that's only because there are no correct words no step by step instructions like a manual or handbook for this sort of thing. It's about mindset and general perspective taking.

>>34654623
That's basically my attitude right now. I had pretty much given up on women, even as far as not wanting to meet up with the last girl I was "dating" online (she mainly wanted sex, and was kind of a disgusting person).
This girl makes me actually want to try though
To elaborate on the "I don't want to date older men" part btw she has dated a guy around my age before but says she wants her next partner to be close to her age.

And nah that's not cryptic at all, it makes perfect sense to me. That's pretty much where I am with this at the moment, I'm a bit uncertain and don't really want to hold her back in life but at the same time I haven't met anyone with this much promise in ages, and the best part is she lives fairly close by

Btw still curious how you'd phrase asking for a next date/telling her I'd want it to be romantic

>>34654559
>she's been pretty clear that she wants to date someone around her age.
If she said that, she's probably not interested.

>>34654625
Then if that's your mindset right now you're almost at the finish line. What left is just sealing the deal, admitting to yourself that you want her so you go and you claim her by asking her out. Women want to be claimed contrary to whatever anyone tells you. I know men have gotten neurotic and fearful of offending in recent generations and we conflate assertiveness with abusiveness (thanks to the dickheads who try to assert but think it meant "abuse"). Real masculine assertiveness is just claiming the girl because you have good intentions, and you are honest with those intentions and you tell her you like her and then set the date for the next occasion.

How is phrase it would depend on what was said during the date, I would want to make a verbal play on context. So it's hard to say but if I wanna be general.

"That was surprisingly fun evening, pretty sure you almost made me feel something. I'd like a round 2 to double check." In a playful way or some shit. Adds some suspense a playful overtone that puts the ball on her court which guarantees a next serve another date.

>>34654633
Hm alright thanks for the advice.
And yeah, I actually feel for this girl and the stuff I know she's been through, and without giving too many details, it just seems eerily similar to stuff I've been through
>>34654627
Yeah I'm on the fence about this. I'd like to respect her wishes in part, but also feel like we could be really good for each other. I'm just going to go with it and see what happens desu, she's cool and I don't find myself thinking that about a lot of women

>>34654652
No problem. You don't gotta go into details about what you've been through or what's she seen through. But you said it's eerily similar. Make sure that's not "mirroring" brotha. I've dated enough girls in my time to encounter the spooky personality mangled ones, the ones who listen to your experiences and then fabricate their own life story to match yours in an attempt to hook you. Those types are crazy, and not the fun kind. But if you're certain she's legitimate and you know she's authentic then go for it and good luck to you. If it doesn't pan out how you wanted, give yourself respect anyway. Having the balls to ask a girl out puts you in a minority of rare men who still have spines. 90% guys gave up.

>>34654657
I tend to look for parts of myself in people I date, though I've been conscious to try and make sure it isn't mirroring.
The last person I was with definitely mirrored a little. Was completely into rock and metal with me but suddenly into techno with her new rave buddy bf; I don't think either me or this girl are doing shit like that to each other.
The stuff I found out about her wasn't directly from her btw, shes had people talk shit about her life so I know for a fact that she isn't trying to mirror or anything of that sort.
Tbf I feel like most of the shit I've gotten in life as far as dating was because I had the balls to try, I'm not particularly good looking or impressive.
Thanks again bruv, you've given me a bunch of stuff to think about

>>34654660
Glad I could help. And about minor mirroring like you do, looking for traits that you resonate with, that's normal. Mirroring is a behaviour everyone does. But there's mirroring and then.. mirroring. Full blown pathological mirroring. Humans naturally adopt and mirror the vibe of emotions others out out, that's fine and normal. Like someone is smiling and talking at you and they're in a good mood so you fake a smile and nod to be courteous, that's mirroring done in a sane normal way. But it's the full on lying and deception parts, inventing stories and shit that's when it's fuuuuucking crazy.
And yeah if you heard it from third party sources it means she's legit.

>Tbf I feel like most of the shit I've gotten in life as far as dating was because I had the balls to try, I'm not particularly good looking or impressive.
Truthfully very few people are massive studs or drop dead bombshells who also have CEO status or VIP social reputation at the same time. In reality, attraction isn't about perfectionistic ideals. It's about feeling comfortable and familiar with someone, and whether their face is a 5/10 or a 2/10 doesn't matter. That face becomes someone's 10/10 over time the more the bond grows, because it's a face you look at and you feel "I am home." That's real attraction. The superficial shit is for the birds lol.

>>34654670
> But it's the full on lying and deception parts, inventing stories and shit that's when it's fuuuuucking crazy.
thankfully never had to deal with that shit, most of my experiences were with my ex embellishing crap or just getting me traumabonded and running back for another hit when she got bored.
but enough about that
your advice is good
too bad most people dont view things the way you do
it literally doesnt matter to me whether a girl is 4/10 or 7/10, although this girl is easily a solid 7 / 7.5 in my book