As a kid, let's say 8-9 years old I was pretty obsessed with cartoon shows as most kids are but I remember that if a character forcefully kissed another one it made me feel funny until everything clicked and started masturbating to itNow I wonder why those things arouse me, why am I into a girl forcefully kissing a guy or viceversaAfter going to /b/ it became worse but I stopped watching porn and I'm trying to stop masturbating too because I'm scared how low I can go down the rabbitholeWhat's wrong with me?
>>34654666No. It is your culturally impoverished childhood.You're depraved on account of you're deprived.
you were surely born weak but you were also exposed to media trying to implant exactly that in you, the seed of lust stopping the consumption of pornography and masturbating is surely a very good start but you'll have to seal the entry holes for the darkness all around, you'd have to cultivate all the virtues to not get dragged down again
>What's wrong with me?Perhaps there is nothing wrong with you, perhaps it is only this minor inconvenience of being fixated near-wholesale on what was.In some similar manner, this is a form of pinning blame being more important than who's going to fix it.
>>34654666You're not depraved, that's normal. Most people enjoy the idea of someone they are attracted to forcefully kissing them because it implies something called 'spontaneity'. And spontaneous actions of affection like a forced kiss or like running up to someone and bear hugging them implies that the person was so overwhelmed with positive feelings about (you) that they could not help themselves, they had to kiss you in that moment. It makes the recipient (provided they're not autistic or some traumatized perpetual victim) feel as though they are really special because the other person couldn't help but kiss them. The only reason you feel it's weird or depraved or whatever is because modern society is neurotic as all hell, everyone has bad faith, nobody trusts anyone, and spontaneity is now seen as crossing boundaries like it's evil. Because everyone in this day in age is a great "I AM" a majesty, a heccin' divine individual who is beholden to no one (except SSRIs and whatever the government tells them to do). You can spontaneously kiss or be spontaneously kissed whenever you like just make sure it's within the context of an established romantic connection that goes both ways. Aka a relationship or something in the dating phase.
