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I've postponed breaking up with a girl for over a year because I was too afraid of hurting her feelings, and the situation only becomes worse as our lives become more tangled. Currently she's living with me in an apartment I didn't want to keep renting in an uni town I no longer have any business being in, a couple hundred miles away from my family, all because of her.
They do not approve of her and I lied about the reasons for me being here. I also told them I broke up with her when in fact I didn't.
I know it won't work in the long term because our values don't align (she doesn't want children, for instance), but she's the only person I talk talk to outside of my family. I made a bunch of promises to her and I feel like I have an obligation to stay now. And mostly I'm just really scared of hurting her feelings.
What the fuck do I do? I tried getting used to the idea of getting married to her and that this is my life now, but I just can't. I constantly think about breaking up with her, but I just can't find a good opportunity to bring it up. I don't even know how I would even begin to have such a conversation, and if she starts crying I know I'll just back down.
Feels like I've been suspended in a state where not doing it feels like constant torture, but I'm just too scared of doing it, and hurting her like that just feels unthinkable.