I'm fucking depressed

I’m fucking repressed

I'm actually starting to believe she thought I was out of her league, and that me hesitating like she was out my league made her think I wasn't actually interested. Oh well.

I'm fucking oppressed

I’m fucking obsessed

My elderly mother hasn't needed to call me in since about 10pm, it's 2pm now and she wears diapers for the time being. Should I wake her up and check on her? I don't think you're supposed to wear diapers without changing them every 4 to 6 hours. But that's going off of a YouTube video, I don't have nurse training or anything like that and shit has just fallen into my lap. I can't take care of another person when I can't even take care of me. If she dies what will I do?

i dont want to ever work
i dont want to go in a stupid place at 6:30 am and have to make friends with retards who i'd rather be on a stake, i would just like to tell them how fucking inferior they all are to me fucking pathetic slave proles, wtf do they know about anything, AND I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THEM?
FUCK THIS SHIT

t. 30 yr old virgin neet

I can't see you any other way...

>called by someone at 5am
>sign them up for window quotes from 5 companies

>>34671602
Well has she been sleeping that whole time? Even babies wear one diaper the whole night through for like 10h without waking them up to change it. It's only an issue if she'd be in dirty diapers for a long time because it can irritate the skin. As long as the diapers aren't full, it's np to keep them on for a while.
Maybe she just hasn't needed to pee that much because of the heat and the body using the water in the body for temperature regulation instead. Has she been drinking enough?

tfw can't have sex because on period which had taken like 2.5 weeks to start
I thought I'd need an abortion so that's good at least, fucking plan b is to blame for this

Stop messaging me please. Just forget I ever existed

>>34671718
I wish it was so simple, not even the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind would help.

Meet me in Montauk...

>>34671725
You know I can't do that physically, and I'm never privy to what I do spiritually.

>woke up yesterday
>immediately did a bunch of laundry and watched youtube with my bf
>made my bf dippy eggs, toast, sausage patties, garnished with parsley, I had a smaller serving and a side salad
>did a bunch of chores while he played video games and got angry at them
>we took showers and got ready
>bought stuff we needed at meijer
>went home and prepped for barbeque
>both beaches absolutely packed but we found a park to grill at
>grill wouldn't start and he said not to bring lighter fluid and was getting PISSED
>kept my cool, helped him get more wood, ransacked car for spare paper and cardboard, helped him use the spray butter as a flamethrower
>got the grill lit
>grilled asparagus, spicy bratwursts, baked beans he made special
>relaxed and watched videos
>didn't play the battleship we brought even though I really wanted to, he seemed too stressed
>came home
>he was dead tired
>went to bed early
>stay up late and called people named on 4chan and trolled a random chat site
he seemed less angry this morning I prepped him an italian sub a nice salad and gave him strawberry shortcake and apple and cheese and chocolate protein shake

How much time together before you mean it?
How many fights before you mean it?
...

im fricking mournful

>>34671768
Why?

>>34671770
I had an idyllic childhood but then everyone started dying and everyone started changing

>>34671777
Changing for the better or worse?

>>34671777
everything started changing*
truth is, a huge problem was a lot of people couldn't accept everything was changing

>>34671782
Who is ready for change before it comes? It's looming.

>>34671780
much worse as far as i can tell

im trying to rebuild the sense of community and security i had back then from scrap

i will never have a home that i grew up in tho

i think that is why so many of the adults of the community that i grew up with couldnt let go of the past and held on too long too

>>34671788
Well, you're capable of anything you put your mind to. Ain't nothin' in the streets for me, to be honest, but I know the feeling.

>>34671634
She has been sipping water from a cup with a straw in it but not as much as I think she should. She was going bathroom a lot more because of retained water from her knee surgery, but she had a fall and decided to confine herself to bed for a few days.

>>34671817
Me again, for some added fun I've started hallucinating her calling help at night.

File: IMG_9408.jpg (341 KB, 1125x1533)

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Algorithm asks if I intend to file a law suit right after asking if the arrest was legal but a law suit would just give police the victimhood they’re seeking.

I'm fucking you're mom

>>34671851
My Mom doesn't have sex, she's not from this Universe. Do you mean you're fucking my mother?

>>34671798
some things cannot be fixed or recreated but yeah, there's a lot i can do

If I file a law suit then the police will probably accuse me of causing problems for the purpose of setting up the lawsuit and cry about how I’m hiding the fact that I broke some glass after I already admitted it to the superior court judge and they won’t try to seek this information because it isn’t convenient for them and if they obtain the information then they’ll probably pretend that they haven’t because that isn’t convenient either.

>>34671870
Then don't fix it, renovate it.

>>34671877
trying...

Is fren awake? I miss him

was bored so posted on this stupid website, guy responded and we got to talking, started dating within 2 days (completely online), we called a lot and cammed, from the jump i knew i was gonna have to block him eventually, i actually really enjoyed the esex and attention and was super attracted to his voice, but he was quite chopped and not that muscular and breaking up/blocking him was still easy. 20 year age gap and he wanted me to have his kid (breeding fetish)… i feel a little bad and im also scared he saved my pics or recorded us camming and will leak out of spite. be honest am i evil

>>34671564
Call her?

>>34671526
Kinda what >>34671603 said minus the virgin and I'm 31. I've been a NEET for the past 2 years thanks to investments and my fun money runs out in November. While I don't have a house like I wanted, I am living the exact life I have wanted and I love it.
>Gym
>Pool
>Video games
>Occasionally fucking a hag with degenerate sex
>Shitposting on 4chan
This is the exact life I have always wanted. If I became a millionaire and money was no problem you can best believe I'd be doing this with the only real differences being sex in a large bath and mowing the lawn on Saturdays. I KNOW I need a job soon. I don't want a job. I do not want to contribute to this nigger economy anymore and am willing to spend every last dollar to the point I KMS. I got to enjoy my own version of paradise for a brief period which is more than what most people can say. I've had my fun. I've rocked and rolled. And I have no desire to shatter my inner peace for a bunch of normies who proved themselves to be my inferior since the Covid 19 lockdowns and clotshot.

>>34672060
You don’t seem to care about others and are a slut. You should get bred to produce something of value.

What's worse for most of you?
>being so undesireable you can't attract anybody
or
>finding everybody so ugly or unlikeable you don't find yourself be inclined towards any of them

Today is going to be interesting.

>>34672190
Undesirable. I can drink to make an ugly person attractive and they can be a degenerate to keep me interested.

Trying to form relationships with anyone anymore just feels pointless. People just seem worthless to be with in any context. I really just don't care anymore. I don't understand this game and I don't think I ever did. I don't want to play games and all this fucking drama and shit. Just leave me alone to rot.

Why? Why do this? I fret over you. Worried sick. I go over old texts and grow so happy looking at them. I tried so hard to help when things got tough.

File: pepray.jpg (50 KB, 640x840)

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A gift has come the way of my family on a massive level that I wouldn't have foreseen. Glory to thee oh God, glory to thee.

I’m listening to the sad cat song rn. Please be ok, just a little longer. I know you’re scared.

One day, I'll make them proud.

>>34672360
King of kings doing his thing once again.

So, this is the third day my mom has been bedridden and she can't move her leg. I can't roll her over because of her pain and I don't think she's drinking enough water. I don't know what to do because we basically don't have hospitals in California anymore.

>>34672395
Aw man, that's not good at all. Is she taking pain meds? Is there some sort of medical help line you could call to give you solid advice on what to do?

Good has absolutely not gone out from the world, nor a has love, and the saints still walk among us, in the hidden corners.

my mom died for my fucking mistake in a stupid and horrible way and the only reason i haven't fucking kill myself is because she would have hated it and herself for making me feel that way, how the hell do i live this down? in a month it be a year and i can't fucking live this down

>>34672403
She's been trying to recover from knee surgery for 7 months, she only takes Tylenol for pain. As for a help line, idk?

Anyone that comes for it's self and not something like leaks, celeb nudes or shilling and also truly respects for what it is is worthy of the site.

>>34672504
Anon she would want you to find a way to forgive yourself so you can move on and live a fulfilling life. Mistakes happen, the best we can do is learn from it, forgive ourselves, try to apologize to anyone we hurt, and grow from it. Wherever your mom is now I'm sure she can tell how you feel. Moms always know. But she wants you to live your life, and she wants it to be as fulfilling and joyful as possible, despite the mistakes you make because nobody is perfect. Try to grow from that, be the person you want to be, live the life you want to live, make her proud

>>34672504
Reading this post that comes right before mine almost gave me a panic attack.

>>34671725
you want me to take waht a 4 hour train all the way out to montauk? you're crazy babe, meet me at penn station

Ive gaslit my boyfriend into believing that seven inches is average because I dont want his ego getting to big.

I pointed out my subordinates lack of observation skills and poor work ethic and now I feel bad. I hate being a supervisor.

>>34672504
What happened anon?

>>34672360
God also brought me 2 gift despite me being mad at him for taking my dad away
Im at a crossroad with him, his plan seems so messy

>>34672363
What is the sad kitty song?

>>34672838
i know, but i don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon
>>34672861
sorry, bad timing
>>34672930
a stupid potatoe gave her food poisoning, her sugar dropped and she choke on her own spit because she was on a diabetic coma

>>34672060
>from the jump i knew i was gonna have to block him eventually, i actually really enjoyed the esex and attention
i did this with guys from this site 50x times and i keep telling myself it'll be the last time lol

>>34672955
Makes me cry every time

>>34672353
Maybe you're just not good enough?

>>34672966
>her sugar dropped and she choke on her own spit because she was on a diabetic coma
I knew someone who died this exact same way. I'm so sorry this happened to you too anon. It's not fair to have someone taken like this

>>34673028
low blood sugar is no joke

Sigh

I cant stop binging and purging. I cant stop. I want to lose the weight and bloat.

I want someone who will love me and put me first. I want someone who will help me with my issues and I can help them with theirs. I want a reason to stop the binge eating and drinking and get in shape

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2cWHiKaFjc

Another group of friends is getting annoyed with my (retarded) behaviours. The previous one already cut contact with me. All they things they point out are the same things that I beat myself up with. I feel like the malicous voice in my head martialized as the people I trusted.
>inb4 Wow anon! You must have done some henious shit
No I'm just annoying af (talking loudly ect)

Something feels wrong
I think mixing alcohol and medication is starting to not be okay anymore

«be me
26yo french anon
family is turbo dysfunctional
finally meet girl who makes life feel soft and real
she has heavy trauma around intimacy/consent
i try to be feminist softboy anti-patriarchy bf
one day relationship gets tense
i go for a kiss, she slightly pulls away
instead of taking the hint like a normal human, my anxious brain goes “just one more bro”
try again, still not receptive
ask for “just one kiss please” like a cooked golden retriever
she pushes me away, i instantly snap back to reality
apologize, realize i crossed a boundary
she leaves because for her it wasn’t just awkward, it hit the “unsafe man” alarm
now reading Mona Chollet and Robert Jensen during night shifts like I’m doing a PhD in “how not to fumble women”
using I Am Sober to not text my ex
same app I used for porn addiction
tfw my biggest enemy is not women, it’s my nervous system»

>>34673163
i'm literally doing this rn. what are you feeling?

>>34672060
>chopped
Go back to tic tac zoom zoom
>Am I evil
You did lead the guy on. You said it yourself.

>>34673127
You won't lose the bloat if you keep purging and you won't lose the weight if you keep binging. Try to remove yourself from the room when the urge to binge comes. Try to avoid going extremely hungry throughout the day to avoid binging.

>>34673166
>tfw my biggest enemy is not women, it’s my nervous system
You ARE your nervous system

I want to smoke weed really bad. I haven’t smoked in about 2 years because I have a really good job that requires that I don’t smoke. I can’t risk getting high because I have a family now and alcohol just sucks so bad in comparison. Oh well…

>>34673028
it was the most stupid and ugly shit i ever seen, that's why im so down

Day 629 still waiting on the police

When I thought I was getting better
I woke up on the ground
An appointment or a disappointment
A setback or another comedown

MyStar,
I have faith in us. Let's have our trip.

>>34673216
Have you tried calling them?

it's over.

>>34673280
For him. But for us, theMoonOnlyHasEyesForThrSun.. home again

I'll never give up on you , on us.

>>34673256
As I stated, I have submitted two separate reports as well as pictures and videos showing my concern three separate times. A superior court judge has also reviewed them and validated that the pictures I provided don’t appear to be matching individuals but someone at the station told me that it doesn’t qualify as evidence and that I need to get a court ordered dna test. I told them that I already had a third party test conducted where the results said that the two individuals who also took the test matched dna with me. I told them that even with this information considered it still doesn’t explain the imposters or what they’re trying to accomplish. They repeated that I have to have a court ordered dna test conducted and they can’t help me but that’s not the way things are supposed to be.

>>34673256
>>34673292
The images are taken of what appears to be multiple people posing as the same individual.

>>34673256
Before August of 2024 when I had realized that things were far more fucked up than I ever took into serious consideration I had called 911 because strangers in public kept targeting me and it seemed to me like the guests on fish tank were also maliciously targeting me so I’m on the phone having a mental episode asking the operator why everyone wants me dead because I didn’t know what else to do to receive clarity so they ask me how I could kill myself if I chose to and then an officer goes and meets me at the store I drove to right after the call because I didn’t feel like being hospitalized again and convinced me to be hospitalized and that’s when my diagnosis changed from paychosis to schizophrenia because they keep asking me the same shit and I started wondering “ok if I tell this bitch what she already knows that I prefer to keep secret so I don’t get a diagnosis maybe she’ll shed some decency and even enlighten me” but instead she gaslit me into thinking that I need antipsychotic prescription drugs. I don’t have any fucking desire to talk about this but it feels like it’s being waterboarded out of me and talking about it might be the only barrier between me and the help I need. Seems like there’s always a barrier between me and the help I need and the only way to remove the barrier might be to tell the truth about something that ultimately discredits me because people just say my concerns are fabricated in my head and not real. Is that why u asked if I called the police?

>>34673343
No. I didn't know all of that other stuff. I'd seen your posts counting the days without police interaction, i just wasn't sure if you'd tried or not. It sounds more like you're waiting on court inaction rather than police inaction.

I wanna kiss and suck on some fat girl's fat titties right now

>>34673349
That’s what I thought be my independent research thru grok informed me otherwise.

>>34673351
Real

>>34673199
curious how it feels like for you? weed just makes me kind of nauseous and dizzy

I know what I keep doing is bad but I just can't help myself. If Hell is real I'm definitely going there and I accept it.

I want to take care of you and be able to call you my partner again

I know my obsession makes no sense given how long I've known you, but I don't care. I know I want you.

Maybe I have a brain tumor or something

I can't stop hurting people

>>34673502
Who'd you hurt and how?

>>34673507
Homeless women. I don't even hate women or the homeless. It's nothing personal

Women have been good to me my whole life. I don't hate them

>>34673508
How'd you hurt them? Not giving money to panhandlers isn't your fault. If you really want to give to the homeless anyway you can just volunteer at a shelter.

>>34673516
I did something I can't confess here

i fucking hate women so god damn much. FUCK.

>>34673577
Ignore that.

I woke up at 2 am because my stomach started hurting. It hasn't hurt like this in a long time. I shouldn't have tried to eat anything like that in the evening. I have histamine intolerance and I react to everything, I have just few meals I can eat... And everyone tells me to try to add more stuff but I get stomach pain from everything.

I love seeing your face, but it's not about the looks. Your smile is captivating.

this shit is fucked, man

I did it again. Drinking ramped up so much that it's medically dangerous for me to cold turkey. 3rd time. Did a detox in a Christian program the first time and that sucked major ass, got pneumonia and landed myself in the hospital and detoxed while in treatment for that the second time
Idk what I'm gonna do this time
I don't wanna go back to detox
I could taper slowly but I don't have the self control anymore, I did that a couple times early on
Fuck dude, I just don't have control anymore

>>34673191
I appreciate what you’re doing, but please don’t feed the algorithm this.

>>34673637
>but it's not about the looks
He must be ugly as fuck lmao

>>34673712
First of all, she's pretty af. I'm the ugly one. Even if I shine.

My sleep has been awful, but it’ll get even worse now. This is punishment. And for what?

I want to break things, fight. All I can do is wait, suffer. Even hoping seems too much for me to muster. At least they’ve stopped calling me for a few days now. Realized I’m too stubborn to be broken, or maybe they’re working on more chains, haha.

My insides feel like they’re shredded. The waiting was already bad enough.

I’d rather they have beaten me than go through this fucking waiting. Not as though that isn’t deserved for my failures.

This is worse than prison. At least prison has no restrictions on visits.


Constant knife pressed against my throat. As long as I stay still it won’t get worse for them.

I love you and we are each other's home. We will come together.
-youramythist, my grandpa's knife

Need to uncatch myself.

No one gives a shit about me and I suck and I want to kill myself. I think about killing myself everyday. I am useless. I am not strong enough to live. I am a pathetic insult to life itself. The only way to reverse my shame is to die. Too bad I am too much of a coward to ever do it. I guess I have to wait out the clock.

I'm trying. I have my own chains, they're lying & poised to attack. Were it just you and I it would be easy.

Man, I look like shit. 5 hours of sleep every night will do that.

>>34673812
I trust you

Why does it still hurt so fucking bad that the girl who I wasn't even in a committed relationship with ghosted a year ago
I have a new girl now, a better girl
My shit ass ego can't let go

I care about you so I hope you can take care...

Not ok. Fading.

>>34673866
Go to bed. I won't be doing anything for hours, so no worries.

I'm so sorry I couldn't carry a conversation today, or the last few times we talked. I'm sorry I never gave you any personal information. Today, when you said just a single sentence in response to my venting about work, it made me feel seen and cared for in a way only you have. I know your job is to make people feel that way, but you have a special talent or something. Even just the inflection in your voice makes me feel like you would keep me from any harm. I hope so much that you talk that way only to me. I hope that I can make you feel that way somehow so you can know how good it feels.

I want to help you the way you helped me. If you don't want me, I understand, and I'll respect that because I know you're a good person. But I'll live the rest of my life feeling let down and indebted to you.

I can give you my time, energy, communication, love, I can overcome my insecurities for you, I can push down everything that makes me uncomfortable. I can listen to you complain about work, your friends, random people. I can do things for you that I'd never do for anyone else. And the one day that I want some space to myself, you get to tell me that you don't feel loved and that you're scared of doing sexual things with me because I don't make you feel safe afterwards?

I hope I get so fucking drunk that I forget why I ever loved you. But I still love you so fucking much.

Why?

Erase me from your heart.

>>34673965
That's not possible

>>34673965
You're tattooed, I use it for protection. My heart is the only organ that's feels functional because of it. You really wanna take that from me?

the cherry tomatoes i had yesterday tasted too weirdly artificial and tomato-y. I need to undo the memory by making a better salad. It's like a metaphor for my whole life and I don't even know what it's called - something isn't exactly how I want it, I need to redo it and recreate it in a way that meets that mental image (not even perfection by the world's standard, just mine). But the time had already passed, the opportunity is already lost, i will never have that job again, I will never have those set of coworkers, or that comforting routine. it will never be like it was, the sun will never shine that particular way, the body will never be in that condition again. The funniest thing being - when I wasn't hung up on the past and went along with the world and what came to me, I had really nice experiences. Which I now miss and want to recreate. This is self-made suffering I know. I'm gripping everything too tight and then I lose it all. And rinse, repeat. Someone tell me to snap out of this. I have actual pressing matters that are gonna have serious consequences if ignored irl. And im messing around with tomatoes.

>>34674145
Picking tomatoes wasn't a waste of time if it gave you a moment to reflect on life. Every serious life change starts with a call to action, and maybe the thoughts that flashed into your head were the call to action you needed. Taking a breather every now and then is good for that, as long as you do what needs to be done when the time is right. Good luck, anon!

>>34674145
Also getting hung up on the past isn't healthy because you'll forget the future is a totally blank slate. Maybe you're only remembering the good because you're in a slump right now, but those good moments were surrounded by struggles as well. Even the happiest times of my life I look back on now, I still remember being stressed about mundane nonsense that's easy to forget in retrospect if I don't really, really think about it. You have to go out and make new good memories. Maybe in a few years' time you'll look back on the next 6 months as one of the happiest times of your life because of the effort you made now.

>>34673835
>>34673851
How would I know it's you. Things id like to hear, someone else lied to her years ago and im still working last that bullshit.

>>34674177
I thought you were someone else.

>>34674177
Man, I don't know, I'm in the same situation to be honest. Pretty sure she had a bad breakup with someone who lied to her a while back and she won't trust me because of it. I know the usual advice is move on and that it's my dumbass savior complex taking over, but I really really like her.

I only want to dream, if the dream is you.

I know you're thinking about me.

>>34674219
Yeah, but what am I thinking about you? Where am I imagining you and I right now, and what are we doing?

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I spelled it out to you and you just couldn't give the single tiniest of fucks
I hate you. I really do.
I exaggerate many things, but honestly this might be the first and only time I say it completely unironically, and mean it.
kill yourself infront of your family

>>34674223
?

>>34674223
Ulfric Stormcloak never said that

>>34674227
Yeah because he didn’t voice thor

When you figure out what the hell your problem is, I'd like to know.

>>34674180
>>34674182
I trust and have faith in hermylonelystar. I still see feel the same as when she last looked in my eyes and said she was so excited to come see me. How she loves me more. Plus what I made her body feel until it hurt that day.

I don’t want to file a law suit against anyone.

>>34674235
I'm not that person.

>>34674225
I thought this was “GIOYC” not “tell everyone every detail”

>>34674245
>I thought this was America. - Randy Marsh

Maybe its just my size difference fetish but i kind of want my husband's brother in law to fuck me? I'm 5'0 and the brother in law is 6'3. Obviously i really dont want to ruin anyone's relationship especially my own but i just find the idea so hot. I can tell he finds me hot and he has flirted with me before and i may have flirted back. He isn't really my type but when i imagine him picking me up i know it would feel so good.

>>34674297
Your husband's brother in law? You mean your brother?

>>34674304
If the husband had a sister that’s married that’d make him the husbands brother in law

>>34674304
Or maybe anon just fucking worded it weird with her husbands brother

>>34674309
Pretty sure In-Laws pertain to the married parties.

I fucking feel Anxious sometimes it feels like the entire world and the hole future is literally been destroy into a massive pile of shit AND I am been pushed into it! God sike that fucking online act passed Congress today and I can't even work here yet I feel

They promise me so much for been a good guy
But now that I got no friends, no calm and no way out I feel like I should have done crack or scape home, so much so for trying to be "good"

>>34674297
Larp because he is insecure boasting

>>34674333
At least that larp actually just instills major ick

I'm just gonna take it easy

I am now drunk and high and while I see your side of things and feel your feelings to the best of my feeble ability, I still feel like you were looking for an excuse to be upset with me.

Surely by now you've seen one of my attempts at reaching out. Are you really under the impression that ignoring it will will make me go away? All it will take is one word. I'll continue until I get that

Just letting her know that this >>34674422 is not me and you can respond whenever you're ready. And if you don't, that's okay too.

I just want to be loved

Damn, I was the demonic influence on you. I'm sorry about that, I didn't realize at all.

>>34671526
She left me over a year ago, and has already replaced me. However, I'll never be able to stop having feelings for her and I miss her every day of my life.

Every day I wish she was still here and that I didn't make her leave.

OK, so I'm 56 years old. As far back as I can remember, I have hated school. The thing is I'm smart, so I had little difficulty getting good grades. And I knew that there was no way I could win in a fight with the institution, so I declared a unilateral truce - I wouldn't cause trouble in school and school would make trouble for me.

But teacher and admins were only part of the problem. The other students were hell. I was taller then everyone. I walked funny. I had long hair. I was an Anglophone in a Francophone school system. I stood out as a target to all the bullies. I knew how to fight, though. And I was also smart enough to avoid any fights.

And tonight I was thinking back on how absolutely miserable I was. My fav bands back then were The Jesus and Mary Chain, PiL, Psychedelic Furs. I was depressed and suicidal. Every winter I'd say "OK, I'll wait for the ice to melt then drown myself." Which was a way of putting it off, because I'd forget about it come spring time. I cut myself, after seeing Sid do it in the movie Sid and Nancy. This was years before cutting and Emo were a thing.

There was a ridge near my high school. I'd imagine an mortar attack from the hill and the shells landing on the school, delivering me from torture.

It's been over 40 years later and I still resent the bullying, the teachers, the nuns, the whole story. I can't remember being happy, but it must have happened.

I don’t know why derek and tammy gives money to me but I take what I can get.

They’ve offered me $10,000 before and $2,000 recently but it doesn’t feel safe to take. It’s usually 10-20 dollars each week and they pay my car insurance.

>>34672966
How is it your fault that your mother was diabetic?

>>34674580
anon is just too sweet

You'll be fine.

>>34674600
Thanks, I hope you will be as well.

My father (63 years old) eats very little and very slowly. He takes over an hour to eat half the portion me and my mother eat, sometimes taking like 10 minutes between bites, but if either of us say anything he gets angry and defensive. He's also the kind of guy that would never go to the doctor.

>>34673292
>>34673314
>>34673256
>>34673216
I treated schizophrenia is never pretty.

I don't think there's a plan but I can appreciate the attempt at reassurance.

I have to live longer than I thought which is a depressing prospect.

Stop saying such dumb things.

This nightmare is almost over, plan is in action just fucking waiting for the go ahead. Excruciating.

I wish I’d have actual nightmares over sleeplessness though.

I’ll be gentle when the day comes. I promise.

My eyes are very bloodshot, Ty.

Chained. Suffering. Angry. Alone. Worried sick.

>>34674611
Ok? Leave him alone.

You'll have what you wanted soon enough. Sorry I didn't cede before this.

>>34674645
Eating so little just doesn't seem healthy, it makes us worry

I really empathize with inuyasha being skewered to that tree

What have you done to yourself this time

I jumped, died, and then woke up...

Then you'll see that your one comes after I take my exit.

>>34673484
I love you and I'm obsessed with you too

>>34671526
My child isn't mine. Due to genetic issues that show up later in life, I did not want to have children, but my wife gave us an ultimatum and we went ahead with IVF.

We chose a specific clinic because I'm friends with one of the lab techs, and I had him take from the "destroy" pile of healthy embryos from families that did not need to maintain their additional embryos any longer, and swap them in for ours.

The ones that the doctor harvested from us never made it into storage, and now our daughter is not blood related, to either of us.

She looks like she could be, and relatives always make up the same comments like "oh she has your eyes" and "she has her mother's smile" but I know it's all just bullshit. Eventually something may happen like 23 and Me when she's older, or a need for marrow donation etc. and we'll find out, but that will be so far down the line that it won't matter anymore.

We'll chalk it up to a mistake in the lab, tell her she's our daughter no matter what, and no one will ever know what I did.

>>34673846
Just focus on your new girl

>>34673846
I'm sure your new girl is dying for your attention

Still at the end of every hard-earned day
People find some reason to believe

I was with my ex for five years. She's so liberal that it made me seem like a chud. I'm extremely liberal about people's individual freedoms, do not believe in racial supremacy, and am egalitarian regarding men and women. But because I did not get the vaccine, voted Trump, am Jewish (not the suicidally liberal kind), and other right leaning things, I seemed like a chud to her.

I hate that. I have always been centrist. Libertarian. But now that is chud.

>>34674661
Real

>>34674682
>>34674684
Do you know that guy?

Just had some officer pull up behind me 2:00am at the intersection to wait and flip a u turn as soon as the light turned green. Thinks he’s funny but he’s a fucking prick.

>>34671526
My parents and grand parents are always riding my ass about when I’m going to get a GF and they always ask why I don’t. I can’t say it’s because, when my parents relationship was on the rocks, my mom and grandma were talking with eachother about how to best get my dad’s 401k and get him on the hook for alimony while he was paying all her bills despite living elsewhere. Yes he was a piece of shit for cheating on her but she was a massively shitty wife and hearing that from them gave me trust issues with women I’ll never get over.

I can’t leave the house without someone acting weird as fuck and holy fuck I try to hold on to the side of myself that doesn’t choose to give the fuck up on everyone holy fuck why the fuck my fucking life why the fuck why holy fuck I just wanted to hang on to what good is left of me and u fucking rot it out of me by the fucking day I wanted to make it out of this hanging on to some of myself and not give up on people for good holy fuck WHY THE FUCK

>>34674695
Who doesn't? He's the town bicycle

>>34674707
Why waste your energy getting upset about someone who wronged you (or who reminds you of someone who wronged you)? They'll get theirs, but if you let them occupy a spot in your brain any longer, they still have power over you, and they're hurting you more than they need to. Focus that energy on finding someone who loves you instead, or if you have, spend time with that someone rather than spending time being angry at a manwhore.

I don’t want to file law suits but I want every adult involved to feel the pain that they deserve for what they’re doing to me.

>>34674716
I ENJOY BEING UPSET

>>34674719
Me too, but there's a limit to how long I like being upset. Yelling, growling, throwing shit, and listening to angry breakup songs are all fun, but after a while it's both pathetic and a waste of energy when you could spend that time being happy or working towards happiness instead. Besides, I don't know about you, but usually prolonged anger tires me out and turns into prolonged sadness instead.

I need the explanation to come from an officer and not a 4chan post.

you got me to do the opposite of everything my avoidant tendencies supposedly make me do and then you just held me to an even higher fucking standard than before.

>>34674829
So I made you a better person. You're welcome.

>>34674847
you got me to be what you wanted me to be.

Can’t fall asleep
Thinking about her

It’s 5:20 in the morning for fuck’s sake. Fuck it I’ll get a cup of coffee and go for a walk instead.

>>34674882
She probably doesn't spare a thought about you

>>34674890
Yeah maybe I dunno. Whatever, I’m getting up.

My dad is such a weirdo FUCK freak. He thinks he's constantly entitled to my energy. Fuck I can't wait to go back to my home and leave his rotting sorry ass here to be alone like he usually is. Good thing all the moids around him are moving out. Too. Time to start ignoring him when he calls me at such god awful FUCKING hours. The son of a fucking. God awful. Sorry BASTARD. Die.

>>34671526
I hate celebrating my birthday

Fading away, the only peace I can have, I'll be gone my august, it'll be nice

My hair is turning grey before my penis has touched a pussy. I am almost 30.

>>34672345
same.

looking for a girlfriend who doesn't make me feel like a failure for existing.

>>34675043
She's waiting for you in the 2D realm, anon.

>>34675048
great, all i have to do is kill myself and i can finally be united with her.

It'll be alright it'll be alright it'll be alright it'll be alright

File: 4a2adf0c0ab6ce2d4ca87a81d(...).jpg (150 KB, 736x1308)

150 KB JPG

Guess I gotta keep trying
>be 30
>working from home
>no social life
>start volunteering
>try going to live drawing sessions
>can't forge deeper connections
>only fucked one girl which I didn't really like that I met at the summer camp I volunteered at, last year.

I'm 31, feeling out of options, it's super hard, expensive and tiresome to go out and try to meet women. The hardest part is "where the fuck do you go meet women".

I hate living in this fucking evil subhuman country. I just can't afford to leave.

I sink my body into that great nothingness.
Happiness

crud

Hey man lol
I miss ur face and voice
Know youre going through a lot so I wont bother you too much
But I do still wanna hang out with you more
Love you and take care of yourself

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>34675411
Got something to get off your chest anon?

>>34674679
>I had him take from the "destroy" pile of healthy embryos
Just so you know, this is bullshit.

>>34675110

You're that Simpsons meme : "We tried nothing and now we're out of options." Though in your case it would be "I tried next to nothing and now I'm feeling out of options."

My head and stomach hurts. I feel lightheaded and weak. I want to cry but that hurts my head too much. My body itches all over I think Im dying

Day 630

>>34675467
Keep us posted.

I am deeply brainrotted. I feel stupid and it is driving me crazy.

I think I'm losing my mind. I have been looking for a home for a few months now and its driving me crazy. Today for the 2nd time I saw a house get listed that I love the look up, went over to see it and the entire street is ghetto as fuck. Some of the houses look abandoned. I don't understand how people live like this and I'm losing faith that I'll ever own a home if this is how it's going to be.

You fumbled me.

>>34675496
Well if you're still thinking about them, why not give them another chance?

>>34675510
You're right. I will

You're not well are you? Oh God I'm never gonna be able to talk to you again. I'll never hear you laugh again.

>>34675510
I probably would, but I shouldn’t do that.

>>34675510
I gave them 1053485734957345893459284924298342743274283 chances and they keep fucking up each time. At a certain point I just have to acknowledge I am enabling my own abuse

>>34675532
>>34675536
How'd they fumble you? Just "sent an awkward text" fumbled, or "blew you off 1053485734957345893459284924298342743274283 times in a row" fumbled?

>>34675542
Definitely the latter. She fucked up.

>>34675542
Like "I love you so much I had to date other girls" fumbled me

>>34675555
Wow you dated the male version of the woman I’m posting about

>>34675545
That’s rough, but it makes sense to move on in that case.

>>34675555
>>34675558
That’s downright awful, definitely move on.

>>34671526
I'm sick of being punished for trying to do the right thing. I'm sick of bad protecting bad.
I'm homesick for my old shitty home, everything feels so alien.

They gave me a fifty dollar check right after becu called asking for money and now my license is missing again and I doubt that it’s my fault.

>>34675561
All she had to do was not be a total retard. Agh

So now I gotta get another new license because maybe it’s crucial to apparently prove to anon that I do in fact have a license just like I indicated already from a post to prove that I am the one who is posting. Yes I have a driver license and there’s no reason for me to not have a drivers license and if u disagree u are a retarded cunt.

And they tell me they didn’t fuck around with my license and they swear they don’t have handlers and even after I ask them if some agents who could be pretending to be agents ever gave them directions and they swear that surely never happened.

I have so much to tell you when you get back, I’m so nervous and excited. I hope you’re having fun.

>>34675558
I'm so sorry you're going through this too. I think the thing that hurts the most is how much they deny reality. I know I'll never be able to get closure from them directly. God knows I tried communicating to have them see me as a real person with feelings, to have them empathize with me like I do for them and it just will never happen because they are just so delusional. No matter how badly they keep abusing me they'll never acknowledge it as that because they can't see it this way. They are always the victim and everything they do is always because they liked me ~too~ much and it made them feel insecure or scared or too happy or something else, and that's enough to justify how they mistreat me. I hate how I was forced into this role that I never agreed to. I was never ever seen for who I really am by them. They never thought about how I felt or how I was hurt or how insecure they made me or anything like that because it can't be real to them. Or if it was real theirs was worse, or I'll just get over it, or who cares, for some reason I'll do better than them anyway. Who treats another person this way? I never did this to them. Fuck them

maybe some people just don't have souls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZsZf_m9trA

manifesting good and positivity for today, amen + ⊹ .

>>34675370
Sounds a lot like highschool A
I thought about you as well
Sorry I deleted you on ig

I’m going to save you. I haven’t, and won’t give up.

>>34675681
It's not as easy as one might feel. Even the trees will be plotting against you to keep me. I'm not saying don't try, I am saying be prepared.

>>34675656
Lol you got the letter right
Its nbd I get it
Just wanna be supportive, hit me up and ill be there

>>34675704
Oh, so youre not my A

>>34675709
Not yours sorry
Our stories could be the same tho
If you thought about them, let em know
Even if its complicated, it will be worth it

Fell into the clutches of lust again. Think what you want about it but I think it's literal subhuman behavior. It lowers me, and it's so pointless. It's wasteful. I know it's not good for my brain. I don't have to be an untermensch. I can choose not to be, but if, when presented with the chance to give into the behavior that makes me so, I give in, repeatedly, time and time again, what does that make me? It's pathetic.

>>34675710
We were good friends and fell apart
And now he has a gf and he is in another city
And also, yk time cant really heal all wounds, we did shit to one another none of got past
What about your person?

>>34675717
I understand, sometimes it cant be helped
Sounds like you know hes happy and thats ok too
Sometimes you never know what theyre dealing with and being thought of is a good pickmeup

As for me, loved my friend like a sister
She got out of a bad relationship
I miss her and reached out, since she doesnt come around anymore
Tbh though I dont want to lose her
Its selfish but I want to make her happy
No idea if she feels the same things for me though, and I cant bring it up at this time
So here I am
Hoping she thinks of me too

I hate you. I used to love you.

>>34675738
Why?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeZxDcjXbzE

>>34675741
I used to love her because I love who she is and thought she cared about me. I now hate her because I realize she only cared about the attention I paid to her.

>>34675751
Sounds like a rough time. I hope you find someone to love you, without a One Wish Willow.

>>34675752
It feels like she used one on me. Shit sucks.

>>34675754
You'd probably have killed her already if she did.

>>34675756
Ah, nevermind then.

There was this cute girl with a soft voice and pretty eyes working a pancake stand near where I live. She had to double-check all of my friends' order toppings but remembered mine.
I know it means absoutely nothing but I still feel good about it regardless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv5QTAFiOBM

>>34675798
You are memorable to her, that's a nice confidence booster

>>34675578
Apparently I left it at the gas station. Instead of just having me interviewed by people from my past for security questions the dmv tells me that they take a new photo every time unless it’s ordered online when I know I’ve renewed it before at the dmv without my picture being taken.

I wish that you could see it like I see you
It's not that you're no good
You're just misunderstood

>>34675439
When you start IVF, you choose what action(s) can be taken with your remaining embryos. Donor options for people who need them, donation for science/learning, or destruction.

File: IMG_9466.jpg (398 KB, 1125x2287)

398 KB JPG

U think that you’re exempt?

File: IMG_9467.jpg (356 KB, 1125x2297)

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Me?

>>34675738
I know.

It wasn't only said and meant in anger, as much as you tried to convince me, and yourself, otherwise.

>>34675966
I take everything you say as serious as a heart attack. Idk why you think otherwise.

What could you want from a dead and empty girl, anyways.

I am a performance of function.

Left to, on, my own.

>>34676013
To fill her heart with the love she feels she wants.
>>34676017
Functions are fun with other people, sometimes.

>>34676024
Wrong, I am here.

>>34675519
>>34675532
>>34675536
Imagine thinking any one of these responses is the actual person

>>34676053
The second one actually was me.

I dont belong to you and my words will always belong to me. Enjoy that

>>34676107
That's cool, that's fine, but I am still here.

>>34676113
I do not care at all

>>34676129
That doesn't matter to me, just letting you know.

>>34676013
She's very much alive to me anon. I would love to love her

>>34676132
A/S/L?

>>34676160
Yeah, I'd rather not doxx myself.

File: IMG_9477.jpg (120 KB, 832x635)

120 KB JPG

https://youtu.be/eR8P4GQibro?is=8MA7lGruaBrG4pOS

>>34676170
Youre not that important.

>>34676179
Okay. 35/M/CT.

Got ghosted by a girl I really was digging. We had a great first date and the momentum was staying up until friday where she basically was looking for a way out. then silence. Yesterday unfollowed her since she was still posting stories about how bored she was and all this bs. Idk if she was talking to other dudes or whatever but it kinda sucks how almost immediate it was her unfollowing me back. But she missed out whatever nigger she wants she can have. Gonna keep being the best I can be!

It's done. You are not the moral high ground here. Don't even think for a second that I will just submit to whatever you want me to apologize for. I will hold the line here I did nothing wrong. You are the aggressor. You can be a little bitch about it but you're the one Who doesn't want to have a normal conversation. En of course that Little shit head of a husband supports you, but I'm not joining that narrative. And if everyone takes their side I know where the true priorities lie. I know I am at the bottom of their priorities anyway. I may have formed the group but I am the least favorite. If they want to hate me so be it. I will continue myself as I always have. Maybe it's the push I needed to finally move on and find other people. People who are Arent as flawed as these are. People who actually understand the way I think. Or people who don't put a react with empathy or kindness. Might even be more difficult to find the latter. Anyway I don't want to kill myself because the pills block me from doing that. So now there's a void and what do I do with that?

File: 21ECFFBE-5D92-465F-89A9-E(...).png (145 KB, 358x477)

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I’m going to sit on your chest until you wake up.

>>34676212
dtf?

>>34676276
No.

>>34676281
Gay

>>34676283
Not even close. I just have Anxiety, which in turn means my spirit is angry when I try to have sex. Literally acts against me, Idk why.

I j7 in st nde to redst

Best way to kill yourself by fire?

>>34676294
Volcano.

I feel like shit, mentally.

>>34676316
Same.

>>34676294
Shoot yourself with a firearm probably.
I don't think there are any good ways of killing yourself.

>>34676316
>>34676318
What did you do?

>>34676326
I just feel like an asshole and unwanted.

>>34676013
A girlfriend who matches my energy.

Ways of making money that won't make me want to kill myself slowly? Who's cocks do I need to blow to make some cash? Is goyslavery too intolerable and all consuming for you want want anything but the how many times can I slash my arms before it topple into a pool of my own blood or how long can my flesh smolder in fire before I drop challenge? I just can't see myself slaving away at a shitty job for 10+ years with no life outside of it, without me wanting to impale myself with a longsword straight down the center of my head to the hilt.

I wish my ex could kill himself because then he will never be able to be with anyone else. It would be a true victory over my oneitis. How can one get a man to kill themselves when they are only in their early 20s?
Femcel A

>>34676326
Been around people who like to remind me of how much of a loser I am, under the pretence of being helpful without being actually helpful at all.

>>34673888
You cannot help anyone all you do is harm others. You always have an ulterior motive.
A

>>34676344
>have ulterior motive
>help others
NTA. I don't think those things are necessary mutually exclusive.

These days, all I do is...

>>34676363
Why do you want to kill yourself?

You just gonna leave it there, huh? Okay.

>>34676409
I take you've never been to the Abyss...