I really need to make a connection with an intelligent and kind person that I can have deep discussions with about life/philosophy because my mental health is not great and I live in an area where intelligent people are rare, so I was wondering how I could connect with kind, intelligent people whether in real life or online. I just need someone that understands because I've tried therapists and they weren't great because the good ones cost a lot of money and I just can't afford that. I don't need someone to talk to and tell me generic advice about mindfulness and meditation and the positive effects of exercise and a healthy diet - I need someone that cares so deeply about life that it's too much and causes problems with just functioning and has found the mental fortitude to control the powerful emotions that come with being extremely sensitive as well as the crippling loneliness caused by not being able to overcome past trauma so you become a bitter, angry loner that just needs someone that understands
practice yoga! stay after class
>>34703650I guess my real problem is that I haven't really tried my absolute hardest in life out of fear of failing, so I feel like I'm getting to the point where something big needs to happen or else I'm going to end up stuck this way and become a 65 year old angry loser that knew he could have been so much happier. I'm just looking for that one person who has either experienced this or is currently experiencing it and maybe we can help each other take that first step or at least find some comfort in a mutual understanding
>>34703617Anon,There is no magical string of words, there is no solid, well-reasoned, rational argument that'll ever get through the machinations of your mind to significantly change your state of mind further beyond what you've already tried yourself, and or would have already been able to do beforehand.There is no secret stash of energy and strength, no hidden potential that's awaiting for the right trigger to be unleashed, unless, of course, your body decides to pump you full of adrenaline on it's own accord, and even then, you'll eventually develop tolerance to it.Twenty plus years you've been alive, and you've never been able to reliably wield it, this mental fortitude you're after, what makes you think some "connection with an intelligent and kind person" will be able to convince you otherwise?I can't tell you I know the truth for myself, but realistically, here's what's actually within the realm of possibility:1. You can become numb, but in doing so, you'll miss out on a lot.2. You can brute-force through the pain, but it'll always be there, and it'll never get easier.3. Drugs, at your own risk. It doesn't have to be bad ones, you know.> "A substance that affects the structure or functioning of a living organism."> "A substance that can improve performance, cause loss of feeling, change behavior, induce unconsciousness."Unfortunately, that seems to be it.If I knew any other way, I'd tell you.
Important addendum:>It doesn't have to be bad ones, you knowThat includes SSRIs. Psychiatrists might tempt you into giving them a shot, but they're absolute garbage and they don't work.
Keep the faith remilio
>>34703913>what makes you think some "connection with an intelligent and kind person" will be able to convince you otherwise?The desperate hope that someone has some wisdom that will make something click in my head that will lead me on a path that will bring me confidence and happiness>you can brute-force through the painThat's the current plan and despite the enormous amount of anxiety and frustration holding me back, I function pretty well
>>34703969>The desperate hope that someone has some wisdom that will make something click in my head that will lead me on a path that will bring me confidence and happinessThat is not going to happen.
>>34703617It may help to keep in mind that you don't necessarily have to limit yourself to the present for this. Bitterness, loneliness and oversensitivity caused by trauma describe how I started out fairly accurately, but what dragged me out of it was study. There are multiple avenues of philosophy and theology to choose from, all written by kind and intelligent men who can give you advice on how to control your passions and see the silver lining in adversity. Schools of wisdom all across the ancient world are fairly uniform at their core no matter which tradition you choose, because they're all based on the timeless principle that happiness and security can only come from discerning between what's yours to control and what isn't. Someone who spends his life grasping at what isn't his can't help but be miserable, whereas somebody who gives his care and attention to the one thing that can never be taken away from him will always maintain a center of calmness and fulfillment.
>>34704132I've always wanted a true friend but I haven't found anyone that I can feel way about because they don't feel the same way I do deep down and I can't relate to them on that level
>>34703617trust me anon, the last thing you need is finding people who understand you as you are. if you do, their mere existence will reinforce your shitty mindsetdo you want to stay depressed angry and bitter forever? YOU have to changerevisit the smart topics like spirituality, philosophy and look for likeminded people once you've decided to change for the better.>I don't need someone to talk to and tell me generic advice about mindfulness and meditation and the positive effects of exercise and a healthy diettoo bad, that's exactly what you need rn. philosophy when you're depressed will only anchor your depression even deeper in your mind.
>>34703617>not being able to overcome past traumaside note, look up MDMA for dealing with past trauma. do your research obviously and don't abuse it, but I've seen it work
>>34705105I'd say that makes studying all the more important, in that case. Cultivating wisdom and developing a relationship with the virtues first is a necessary first step towards that goal, because friendship can only exist in relation to virtue. Friendship in its true sense is impossible between two individuals directly, because principle has to act as an intermediary. Without principles, those two people will value themselves, their wealth or their comforts more than each other's well-being, meaning you have a betrayal waiting to happen rather than a friendship. Even in the case of two people who value each other more than they value anything else in life, what that produces is a relationship built on unhealthy attachment and possessive obsession rather than a genuine friendship with a solid foundation of compassion and care. True, lasting friendship only occurs when two people who value truth and goodness happen to cross paths. That shared reverence for the virtues acts as a bond that assures both are always acting with an upright spirit in a way that's mutual, with each one always being eager to assist the other and neither one ever taking advantage or neglecting the duties of a friend.
>>34703617"intelligent and kind" people DO NOT have "deep discussions with about life/philosophy" with people they have just met. You have to go through the long process of meeting, becoming acquaintances, developing into friends and then close friends to get to that level. It is well worth it, but there are no short cuts
