OP again,
Divorce is out of the question. I don't believe in divorce as I don't believe in many other completely naturalized things that are happening these days in relationships. It's a broad topic, I won't go into. But no divorce. I believe any issue intra-relationships can eventually be solved, with the right attitude and tackling.

>guys I want to train for a marathon, how should I do it?
>also I will be running with flipflops because I don't believe in running shoes

>>34704869
Thats not even a good analogy. I don't believe in divorce because I don't believe that the fix for EVERYTHING is running away from it.
Shit job? Quit
Shit marriage? Divorce
Shit at skill? Drop, take up another
Shit anything? Drop, pick other
I believe this sort of mentality ruined everything in this world because there's no sense of permanence, no trust and no legitimacy anymore, in pretty much anything. People drop things and acts on a moment's notice and pick completely different things on a whim based on very loose motivations. As a kid I heard about these American style divorces where the wife left because the man left his shoes somewhere random. This line of thinking never stood right with me

>>34704876
The marriages never ended *because* the shoes got left somewhere wrong. They hated each other for a long time and then there is one incident that breaks the camel's back, but it isn't just that one thing

But legit your wife should take anger management classes for smth

>>34704855
Don't listen to people who tell you to divorce they're just usually jealous femcels or bitter nice guy incels or just generally children of divorce who want everyone else's parents to break up so they're not the only creature who got mind fucked by divorce. The real advice is if a woman is angry at you, it means she is into you BIGLY.

Women will fuck the man who makes her feel. Anger is a feel. You could abruptly kiss her passionately while she is angry at you and you'd be fucking on the floor within minutes. Give it a try

>>34704852
It's kinda hard to gauge how bad things are without more context, but if you genuinely think she might actually harm you, then you already know there's no such thing as "keep living with this dynamic". How long have you two been together? And how long have things been this bad? All I can really tell you is that people changing is an extremely long and difficult process, and also extremely unlikely. And it's even more difficult and unlikely for two people in a relationship to both do this work.

Sure, every problem in this world can technically be overcome with exactly the right solution and effort, but in real life, many problems, especially if they're personality issues, go unsolved and end in disaster. We have one life to live, and you may end up wasting the rest of yours trying to fix something that's way out of your depth. If divorce feels off the table for you, then fine, but just know you're probably fucked. See a therapist for yourself, and separately see if you can get your wife to get therapy too. And then hopefully couples therapy. But realistically, unfucking a situation like this might be a lifetime of difficult work, even if you're both fully devoted to fixing yourselves, which almost no one on this planet does. If I were you, I'd ask myself if a long life of misery is something I'm really willing to risk to just to avoid divorce, because hoping that you can overcome this is a very unrealistic goal from the sound of it. People generally don't fix themselves.

>>34704852
Also OP, you said she gets mad at you, then you laugh at her while she's mad. I'm the same as you are, you're a fucking monkey clown just like me. I also like to pull people's mental tails and run away cackling like an idiot. You are basically the guy who teases the girl he loves because he thinks it's cute when she gets mad. Same shit but we're adults now. She's not gonna stab you in your sleep dude. All you gotta do is as I said, finish the last performance of the circus antic, give her a big kiss when she is in the middle of anger and reap the benefits. That's how you become clown-husband material, the chicks dig it. But only keep that for home. When you're outdoors in the public eye, be on your best behaviour and don't embarrass your wifey because she will be worried what the people say about her. That's because that's how women are, so don't try to change that out of her she will need to know public opinion to keep you out of trouble and have your back socially.

But yeah man, monkey-clown-nimbus-wukong husband is a solid build in the relationship meta. You have the [provoke] skill to instantly snatch the woman's attention emotionally, drawing in aggro. But you need to combine it with the [arouse] combo before her rage meter reaches the top for that [mating press] finisher to actually work.

>>34705020
But in the real though, if you notice your monkey antics aren't working to soothe or charm her it means it's time to chill out, wind it down, sit down and talk slow and sincere and ask her "alright alright I'm listening, what's up?" And hear her out and gauge how she feels and if you're causing problems you just apologize and correct yourself. Then go back to clown mode.

>>34705020
>>34705030
Yeah, she even calls me little monkey sometimes and I call her strawberry or little sock (in my native language sounds way better).
Last night was the usual, she got all stressed and angry about something unimportant and I added fuel to the fire, but it did not end well, I half expected her to slice my throat in the night after that. She got so angry and mad and I also didn't want to talk to her for the rest of the night. Just retreated in a separate room and finished an entire watermelon.
I should have pulled back a little and chill, you're completely right. I will apologize today if I get the chance.

>>34705045
Based & Clown-Husband pilled feat. Monkey Sovl, my man. Also me and my wife have cute nicknames for each other too. My wife is the serious school teacher smart type, super serious and intelligent and a bit stern but it drives me nuts man really gets my dragon balls glowing if you know what I mean. I also struggled with feeling like I was being controlled cuz of how strict she could be, but honestly when you think about it you figure out it's cuz she cares, wants to make sure you look after yourself and that's why you can know if a woman is mad at you in the relationship it means she still has strong feels for you. When the woman becomes cold and indifferent and feels nothing that's when it's time to panic bro, not before then.

It's about finding a middle ground where you listen to her boundaries or concerns & you get to keep being the same monkey man clown husbando, and she will want you to keep being the funny monkey cuz that's the reason why she fell in love with you to begin with etc.

All the best my fellow monkey bro

>>34704876
>As a kid I heard about these American style divorces where the wife left because the man left his shoes somewhere random. This line of thinking never stood right with me.

It's just retards man, they always do retarded shit. "Haha yes the 3+ years or relationship & 1-2+ years engaged & 5+ years married? All the money time and memories and bonding and even our kids future emotional welfare and sense of mental stability? NAHHH fuck it, divorce divorce divorce! If my marriage doesn't look like the glamour in TV, if my husband isn't acting like a Bridgerton nobleman? THROW THE WHOLE MAN OUT QUEEN. (For guys its "Abloobloobloo my wife won't fuck me like the girl in the pornos... Why isn't my woman acting like a performative slut.. I thought porn was real life and I forgot they use editing and retakes of scenes to make sex look like it's supposed to be a cum marathon.. FUCK. THATS IT IN DIVORCING. NOW!"

Just lower INT people doing low INT things

>>34705074
That's honestly the best way to deal with this, find a middle ground between letting her have her way while also you not being completely simpish. And I agree, it's when she becomes cold is when you should start question things, but when she's volcanic and fiery and loud and angry, it's probably because she cares.
At least that's how I cope lmao, besides I think there should be some fire and brimstone with women, they really get complacent when there isn't anything that irks their feelings. You gotta have them emote hard.
I now realize all that seriousness is really not good. I should have let her be and relax, she finds things out of thin air to stress about, and I really just like to put fuel on the fire. Maybe I overdid it, but I swear man she was so angry last night I really really thought she was gonna do something crazy
>>34705088
Yeah, no way people are throwing divorce just like that willy-nilly. Couldn't be me

>>34705122
>At least that's how I cope lmao, besides I think there should be some fire and brimstone with women, they really get complacent when there isn't anything that irks their feelings.
100% that's not even a cope either that is reality. You know the saying "Women would rather be beat to death than bored to death", it's true (please autist lurkers don't take this at face value). In the 90's we called such women "firecrackers". To call a woman a firecracker was a positive, because back then men could easily handle their type, some even found it very attractive in a woman because it was authentic and hyper feminine.

If you overdid it, you overdid it. Just come clean and admit you stoked her anger on purpose because you were impulsive and didn't think about how she felt enough because you were being a silly monkey provocateur and it's because you fucked up and made a misguided attempt to force an emotional connection at that time but you didn't acknowledge her wants and needs enough. Then apologise after acknowledging that to her and kiss and make up and it's all good. That's how marriages last the test of time, yknow, the ones that last are the ones that are humble enough to apologise to each other. This is why a marriage with 1 argument can divorce while a marriage with 2,000 arguments lasts 79 years. It's because the first one never had anyone kissing and making up.

>>34704852
>She is very controlling and I am very stubborn and don't want to be controlled
why did you choose her then
retard

>>34704852
Then why is she your wife dumbass
Are you in an arranged marriage or some shit? Did you marry after two coffee dates? How the fuck do people always seem to get into signing legal papers before they have checked whether they are a good fit in any way.

Negotiate with her and agree to give in to some specific demands of hers.
>I am very stubborn and don't want to be controlled
The alternative is divorce so both of you have to be adults and work with each other

>>34704852
Divorce her. Simple.