>>34707733
Ok.
Not reading it all.
You have to find a new focus and move on. It's that simple, you can't move on until you have a new focus.

>>34707889
i feel like i can't focus on anything, i don't even feel like masturbating.

i think you had the potential to turn the relationship into an fwb
but otherwise, try to find other hobbies to focus on, be busy at work, save some money and travel to any place or country you like
don't treat her like she's the only person in the world that can make you happy, that can make you whole

>>34707733
You need to come to terms with the fact that she put you on the back burner. She’ll eventually let a relationship happen if she gets old enough without finding a better option. You deserve better buddy. Move on and guard your heart.

>>34707980
>>34708003
she has a boyfriend though
and also, i was thinking about ending things here and focusing on myself hard enough, if she comes back and she wants me, great, if not, at least i'll be better for other woman who would want me seriously
i just can't understand it, i'm taller than her boyfriend (and ex), prettier, she says I'M JUST LIKE HER IN EVERY ASPECT and SHE LOVES ME, i just don't understand it and i'm going crazy over it, i go from anger to sadness to hatred to love

>>34707980
>>34708003
also, what do you guys think is the best option?
a. just pushing through it and keep being her best friend (even though things are weird between us now)
b. tell her i just can't feel the way she feels about me, and maybe, in the future, i will, or she will, i don't know, and stop talking and focus on myself

>>34708014
>>34708017
Women are selfish creatures who crave attention. She is getting everything she wants emotionally. She has a boyfriend to take care of those emotional and physical needs and you being her best friend for whatever other attention she desires. You’re a background character in her life. A safety net. A shoulder to cry on. You’ll always feel that longing and that hurt in your heart if you keep this up. Stop torturing yourself and put some distance between you and her.

>>34708054
what should i tell her? i get what you're saying, she wants the attention and safety of a boyfriend without actually commiting ...

also, she said something about how relationships have secrets and that with me she could talk about a lot of stuff she can't talk about with her boyfriend and how this is so important and special between us and that she can't understand why i don't value how friendship as she does

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>>34707733
the universal cure to oneitis, tried and tested by your male ancestors from times immemorial

>cut all contact (important)
>fuck 5 other women
by the time you achieve this, you'll be able to smile about the memory of her and how young and foolish you were
PS. this is not theory, this is experience

>>34707733
You probably won't get over this. You probably need to stop being friends with her, at least until your romantic feelings die down.

>>34708087
Tell her something along the lines of: “I wanted more than you’re willing to give me. For my own sanity I have to move on. I wish you and your boyfriend well.”

>>34707733
>she did all this weird stuff
Specify

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>>34708230
let's start from the beginning
>we met through a dating app
>started calling me "my love" and i did it to her too
>made me fight with 2 girlfriends and 1 "situationship" i had these 5 years
>first gf: called her a "nigger-fucking slut" on christmas
>second gf: hated her "for no reason" but i think she knew that i liked my bestfriend
>situationship: my best friend started taking a lot of selfies with me and said "hey op take a photo of me so i can send it to my boyfriend", i did, and my situationship went crazy, even slapped me
>EVERYONE we met, thought we were a couple
>even some people i met now ask me "hey why did you break up with her?"
>one time she took a selfie with me and posted it on instagram stories with a song that said "your eyes are so pretty, i want to give you a blowjob" (i took this personal because i have green eyes and people tend to compliment them)
>she told me sometimes how she hated fucking her boyfriend, even giving him blowjobs made her feel pathetic
>told me her fetish was rape
>one time she invited me over, her boyfriend was in town, she texted him "i'm with op, bye", blocked him, and started laughing
>she couldn't sleep, so i asked her "hey why don't you sleep?"
>she replied "i'm afraid you'll rape me!"
>she was in bad terms with her boyfriend and i was with my gf too, and she asked me "brooo what would happen if we were single at the same time?"
>she hates physical contact (autist) and she always greeted me with a kiss on the cheek (ONLY ME)
>on the bus / on a friend's car, she'd laid her head on my shoulder
>we fought and didn't talk for 2 years and she would send me edits about anime couples or stuff, when i replied saying how much i loved her, she would send "joker" memes teasing me and blocking me again
>when we started talking again (some months ago) i dreamed about her 4 days straight, opened up my spotify app and 4 days ago she had send "i love you op, please come back, i really miss you"

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>>34708230
>>34709270
>i replied saying how much i loved her, and that i wanted to be her boyfriend
>she replied "stop capping bruh, let's be friends again!"
>i lived 5 years of my life with mixed signals, and i just can't see her just as a friend after all we lived
>accept being friends
>hang out with her and a friend group i knew before
>she gets drunk, "squishes my arm", play fights with me, even they started smoking a joint and instead of passing it to me, she put the joint on my lips (with her hands) so i could smoke it
>get even more confused
>even hang out sometime and her friends would come over, they didn't know i was hanging out with her and they started saying "ohh so you 2 fucked huh, we can smell it from here!" and stupid stuff
>she got really drunk some days ago at her boyfriend's place, told him to go away so she could text me about how she feels
>she started saying that "she wants me for eternity, when we first met, she thought about having a relationship, but if we did, we'd probably stop talking after some months and we'd never see each other again, so, she prefers having me forever as a friend"
>i told her i just can't stop liking her from day to day, and questioned about ALL her behaviours these 5 years
>told me she only did them because she thought i'd never like her so she was comfortable doing these "playful banter" stuff
>i told her it's okay
>2 days ago we hanged out with the group, they were REALLY teasing me about this other guy, about how he's better than me, etc
> i told her "ok then tell him to buy you chocolate next time"
> she said "he did, and he brought it as a gift from his europe trip"
> i get kinda sad and don't talk for the rest of the hangout
>she gets EVEN MORE MAD AT ME for not talking and told me to go fuck myself
> next morning she texted me about how she's "sorry" (never fully accepted it, really, i'm the one that's in fault in her mind)
> we argued, never got to a point, she wanted to win the argument, i wanted to end it

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>>34709283
> she still thought i was the problem, and told me how i just not hang out with them anymore, because it's a "girls and gay boys friend group" and how I as a hetero man can't understand the jokes they made about this perfect angelical dude who hangs with them from time to time
> don't talk for some hours
> she texted me about how she's really worried i still like her, and that our friendship can't be the same, and it doesn't feel the same after i confessed, and that's she's really angry
> i told her that it's ok and that it probably would go away with time
> didn't text anymore
> she texted me today "hey are we still good for tomorrow or do you hate me?" (we planned going to the cinema)


i just can't understand why she doesn't prefer me over her actual boyfriend (the one in the green text was a past one), this new one she met when we didn't talk, and in my logical rational male mind it's like
>i'm taller
>i'm more handsome
>i got a pretty good job
>i have a compsci degree

why doesn't she prefer me? she even questioned about me dating other girls, our friends ADMITTED that she made me fight with my girlfriends and situationships, i just don't know why she doesn't choose me.

Simple OP. That creature is a cunt and will make you miserable. Cut contact and get yourself help as you will have a very rough time of it getting away from her.
You are being used sadly.

>>34710770
in her mind, she's in the right and it's all my fault, i don't know what to do, i KNOW i have to ghost her and continue with my life, but i'm soooo attached to her man.

>>34710938
It will be one of the hardest things that you will ever do, but it has to be done. That woman will break you if you hang around her.
You are worth way more than her

>>34710950
do you have any advice on how should i do it, and how should i endure these future months/years without her? should i start meeting more women?

>>34710959
Absolutely yes. Meet more people. Invest in yourself. Go to the gym. Join a sports team. Read. Do something productive for yourself first awhile. You need to focus on you. You seem to have such low self esteem. You have inadvertently tied this girl to your sense of self worth. You need to learn how to be happy alone. Stop putting her on a pedestal. By your own description she seems to be a toxic cunt leeching off of you.