So should I go to a café if I'm new in a city, all alone and I know no one to meet people?There are like 10 cafés in my street alone for some reason, but every time I peek through the window, everybody is with other people so it would be awkward (I'm extremely shy btw)
>>34709537Go for it anon! We believe in you!
>>34709564go for what? what am I supposed to even do in there?
>>34709537Cafes as I know them are not a great place to meet people on a random day for no particular reason if you’re shy. I usually go to them to get a coffee alone and sit in a corner on my laptop or phone, and people tend to leave me alone. But cafes do sometimes have bulletin boards with public events like speed dating or open mike night or trivia night. Libraries have boards like that too. Sometimes bars. Those events can sometimes be good places to meet people. I know they’re painfully awkward for shy people to go to, but some of them are set up in such a way that it basically forces interaction. Which imo is less awkward than going up to a person in a cafe and trying to randomly start small talk when they might not want to engage, or flirting with a barista.
>>34709606>speed datingyou've been watching too many American movies
>>34709611I went to an anime con that offered “speed ‘friending.’” Didn’t actually go to it, but it was on the schedule. I think singles cruises might still do speed dating. Earlier today, I saw my library bulletin board listed two adult book clubs, three upcoming nature walks, an educational presentation about fireflies, and an open mosque day. I suspect these events will be mostly elderly people, but eh, beggars can’t be choosers.
>>34709571Wear your gayest most expensive clothes, order a large chai latte, and sit at a table with a copy of Infinite Jest in front of you.
>>34709639country?>>34709659why? what do I gain from that?
>>34711528USA. North eastern region.
>>34711766I'm there too I could meet you in a cafe but I won't
>>34711803Good. I go to cafes to drink coffee alone and to avoid my family.
>>34709537No one in a café wants a stranger to start talking to them
>>34711884then where do they want it? because everyone in the world is a stranger right now>>34711766>you are too USAcentric>no I'm not>where are you from?>USAdude....
>>34711919Please copypaste the part where I disagree about being american. Responding to a post is not always arguing against that post’s point.
>>34711528>what do I gain from that?Probably nothing. Ideally, someone will walk up and say something like “I like your shirt” or “Infinite Jest? How interesting” and this gives you the opportunity to engage further. I’ve had a couple of times I’ve been reading in a cafe and people have for some reason taken that as an opportunity to ask me about what I was reading, maybe because they found the cover interesting and they wanted to know more, maybe because they’d read the book as well and they’re happy to see someone else reading it.A couple days ago, I entered the cafeteria section of my local grocery store. There was an elderly man wearing the most ridiculous hat. It was huge, like a ten gallon or a sombrero, and it was covered in tiny fake brightly colored birds. White and bright pink and blue and yellow. It looked like he was wearing a mardi gras parade float on his head, but this was a random thursday. There was nothing else remarkable about this old man. In the course of me eating my lunch and buying my groceries, I noticed at least two different people approach this man to ask him about his hat and then to just start talking to him. He didn’t even seem like he was trying that hard to engage, they were carrying the conversations after he gave them some short initial answer. One of these people was a redhead qt half this guy’s age. I wouldn’t have the balls to wear a hat that crazy but I gotta admit the principle of it works if your main goal is to get attention from strangers.
>>34711984I don't have the courage to act autistic in public
>>34711919You have to go to an arranged event where people gather for the purpose of meeting other people. The previous post mentioned such several events. Such events offer a safe, managed environment and less unpredictability so that it’s easier to find people to connect with. Approaching a random person in a cafe is not recommended unless you are good looking.
