When it comes to sex, how fast is it over? or soon rather? I am terrified to have sex and I am a guy. I have really bad performance anxiety and I haven't even done anything. My biggest fear is ejaculating very quickly OR taking too long or even being unable. I believe I'd actually be unable to finish most likely. I have read some things like vaginas feeling marginally less good than your hand. In my head, I have sort of built up the sensation of a vagina to feel like some sort of instant orgasm thing but I get the feeling that its really not. So what can I do to make sure my penis actually works correctly? How long should sex take? I have read some things and it says 10-15 minutes. Others say it can be for an hour. Whats the truth? I have no idea what I am doing and I am 30.
>>3471050035 and 40 min average
you wont have a real idea until you have it for the first time which is really the only way it can bebut most importantly let yourself feel what you're feeling in the moment and enjoy being raw and vulnerable instead of bottling it in
>>34710500Get yourself real interested eating pussy and she won’t care how long it takes you to finish yourself. Tell her you want to give her a pearl necklace or other kind of bukkake and you get an excuse to just beat yourself off at the end.
>>34710500Bruh I have literally came in less than 3 seconds after going inside vaginas feel awesome who are the people telling you they feel worse than your hand lol I think tightness is an important factor though like being drunk I have been unable to cum when going inside chubbier ladies.
>>34710500>how fast is it over?That depends ENTIRELY on where you begin the timer. If you count only time inside, "normal" can be a minute. But if you correctly think of "having sex" as including all the warming up and foreplay amd having fun along the way, the whole event can be measured in chunks of an hour.
>>34710812That's BS
Do plenty of foreplay and aim for 15ish minutes of actual penis in vagina.If you haven't had sex before, you're probably going to nut quite quickly, don't worry about it and just get your practice in.
>>34711575Why is it that women need such significant amounts of foreplay? Are we so anatomically different that foreplay is needed for women? Or realistically is it for both sexes? I would like to learn how to do foreplay obviously but I have never told myself "I need some foreplay". Am I missing something?
>>34712280not all women do but on average it takes longer for women to get physiologically turned on (getting wet engorged lips etc)learn what her body likes and make her surrender to your touchshe'll be ready to go if you take charge in a compatible way for her
>>34710500>I have read some things like vaginas feeling marginally less good than your hand. In my head,Nope. A pussy is literally the thing your cock was designed to penetrate. It is the ultimate stimulation. Man has tried hard to simulate that, and even with the best materials science, a woman's vagina is still the top. So unless we encounter the Asari from Mass Effect and they use some sort of brain tricks, that's it. Being with a woman also has a hormonal/scent/love thing that adds to it that no toy replicates, or ever will.>So what can I do to make sure my penis actually works correctly?Not nut for a few days. That was what my crazy grandpa told me when I was at his property and we were talking about my girlfriend. LIke, three days of no jerking it before.>How long should sex take?An hour, usually. Take note that most of that is going to be foreplay, it's not porn where the guy wanks himself for fifteen seconds and jackhammers the girl. Good sex has good communication, and even then, there's two people building sexual tension and pleasure for one another, which is probably 45-50 minutes.https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/how-long-should-sex-lasthttps://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(15)32017-8/fulltextIt says 7-10 minutes, which makes sense to me. A lot of it before that was as follows: Heavy petting/groping/"Grab-ass" --> Fingering and Blowjobs, eating out > Actual sex with penis in vagina
>>34712280> Are we so anatomically different that foreplay is needed for women? Yes.>Or realistically is it for both sexes?Also yes.You should ideally enjoy the foreplay too but it really is typically more difficult for an average woman to reach climax than an average man, I think. But personally I also don’t think it’s even that important for both partners to fully cum as long as they both had some fun.
>>34710500I concentrated on lasting longer and then got a gf who wanted me to get off quicker so you can't win.
>>34712280>Are we so anatomically different that foreplay is needed for women?Yes. It takes women much longer to become physically aroused. In order for PIV sex to be enjoyable to a woman, the internal parts of the clitoris have to be (for want of a better term) fully erect, otherwise the penis doesn't rub against them through the vaginal wall in a way that feels good. If you go in before she's ready, she won't feel any remotely pleasurable sensation as a result.Also note that "foreplay" is a concept invented by men. They see penetration as being "sex" and everything that happens before that as simply preparation for penetration. To a woman, it's *all* sex; and penetration is simply a pleasant way to *finish* sex. To a woman, sex is a seven course banquet, and penetration is just the dessert course, not the entire meal. So if you want to be good at sex, forget about "foreplay"; it's all sex.
>>34710500Learn to tickle her bean until she climaxes. Then it doesn't matter how good or not your penetration performance is since you already got her off.Foreplay is more important.
>>34710500Never has sex either but I feel like penetration is not the only thing there is to sex. And also, if you’re with someone you trust, finishing fast is not an issue. You could also keep going after that. A lot of women don’t get to finish while having sex because their partner only think about their own needs. The important thing is just to enjoy the moment with your partner when you’re ready and every little accident will because a sweet memorable moment.
>>34710500You probably won't cum at all your first time, it's unlikely you'll shoot too fast.Word to the wise, the WORST thing you can do is obsess about not cumming while fucking. Genuinely focus on how it feels, and not just your dick, the overall sensation of being inside a woman. Of seeing her tits jiggle from you slamming her, watching her hair sway, grabbing her ass. Focus on that and you will ironically last longer and likely have an easier time remaining hard.Focus on her cues as well, if you think about trying to give her a good time you'll also take your mind off cumming too soon.
>>34710500Bad performance anxiety will fuck you up and make the woman resent you. It's not as bad as ED but premature ejaculation fucks up a relationship. You can foreplay to your hearts content, but ultimately sex is about fucking and she'll be pissed if you cannot provide.Zoomer girls are especially impatient and pornbrained.I speak from experienced, having bad PE stemming from performance anxiety and bad masturbation habits. I would trade all sensation in my cock for the ability to fuck endlessly, as long as I could still get hard obviously.It can be trained away though. It's in how your brain sees sex. I can give a bigger write up later.
>>34712323>It says 7-10 minutes, which makes sense to me.Not OP but I barely last 7 seconds inside her!
>>34714055it's totally normal to cum quickly in that situation, lol. once a lady truly likes you in that very special way, the whole biological instinct of her pussy will be to entice you so that you will dump every drop of your life-giving cum into her and the two of you can ideally have a very very cute baby together.rawdog contact with her pussy will just immediately trigger a special feeling inside your penis that will feel both very sensual and very intimate/tender, and this just pushes you ever closer towards the point of non-return. fhen as she gets even more excited there are gushes of hot slicky lubrication and "milking" contractions that feel 100x more fantastic than the best and most enthusiastic-tongue-kiss-cum-blowjob from that part of her body and are what fully seals the deal. it's not you, it's just human sexual nature doing its job.
>>34714011>It's in how your brain sees sexI see sex as a scary thing.
>>34714892pussy is a little bit scary in that way, lol. it's a bit like a special mouth of hers that almost feels to her like it awakes and "blooms" like a flower as she gets turned on for you, and then it has the special biological role of fully tasting and assessing your physical love for her. but really, just do the best job you can to make her feel genuinely happy and satisfied
>>34710500Always look out for number one. Cum fast and enjoy yourself. No macho man had ever cared about the mental gymnastics that is the "Female Orgasm."
>>34714941but what's the fun in that? you're just doing exactly what her body wants and acting as her walking sperm donor. whether you actually finish in her or not, the whole point of the act for her biologically is to bring you over that edge.nah, the way to really enjoy yourself is to take your time and *then* cum at your leisure
>>34714955Well, you're clearly a woman
>>34714955>What's the fun in that?Trust me, I've had fun
>>34714875based.
>>34714892If the conscious part of your brain sees sex as a scary thing, then your subconsciousness sees it as an even scarier thing. Why you see it as a scary thing depends. Usually its performance anxiety or past bad experiences, or both (my case). The fear effectively triggers fight-or-flight, like how you walk on stage, forget your lines and want to run from the situation. With sex, the quickest way for it to end is orgasming, as that floods your brain with happy chemicals and fulfills your biological purpose.The same performance anxiety can give you acute ED (as in despite being perfectly healthy with a functional cock, it just doesn't get up), or it can make you unable to cum at all (though that's rarer from what I can tell, just a gut feeling though).The thing about all these conditions is that when they happen, you feel emasculated, you get desperate for it to work, removing you from the experience of sex and drawing more attention to your poor performance. Then next time, you are even more worried you cannot perform, causing your performance to degrade further. Effectively, a vicious cycle.Then there's porn, which teaches your body that pleasure comes quick (from 0 to a woman getting cock in all three holes in 2 minutes). As a normal person, you probably cannot handle sitting at the point of orgasm while sliding in and out of a pussy for 20 minutes straight. Try it, put on hardcore porn, grab a fleshlight and fuck it at full force, You'll most likely bust in seconds.The advice you usually get is "you have to relax, it's no big deal". It's the sexual equivalent of "just be confident!", because while it is mostly correct, it's just a platitude that doesn't give you a road in that direction. The all-natural solution is training yourself in a safe environment. Doing it with the kindest girl on Earth won't work because it will be too much, your subconscious brain is still frightened, and she will expect you to orgasm, but not instantly.
>>34715121What can be done? You have to teach your brain to see sexual pleasure as something to be enjoyed. A means in and of itself, not a means to an end. There are many ways to achieve this, but the short story is a guide that has the very self-aggrandizing title of "MaleDefinitiveGuide". You can find it on reddit, as a PDF with a subreddit attached. Bewar that the subreddit has sort of a cult-like mindset. The short story is: Edging, but you gradually increase stimulation while remaining below the point of orgasming, where your body enjoys the sensation of prolonged sexual stimuli without feeling the urge to blow your load. Initially it will feel like a chore. Over time, you'll start to enjoy it, you'll loosen up. And that's what you want.Note that it takes months of training. It's like getting fit. But an unfortunate fact of life is that sexual performance and pleasure is nearly entirely up to men and our ability to perform. Nobody care about a pillow princess, the female orgasm doesn't stop sex. But if a man orgasms, we go floppy and get hit with refractory periods. Penetrative intercourse ends for a while.
>>34712702Remarkably wise and mature for 4chan
>>34715129>You have to teach your brain to see sexual pleasure as something to be enjoyed.Well, I've never had sex but I reckon it would just be the same as masturbation for me - quick PE. I treat it as a physiological function and not a something to be enjoyed.
>>34715183Then you may have a problem.
>>34712702>To a woman, sex is a seven course banquet, and penetration is just the dessert courseWhile I agree with your post in general PIV is PIV and to women it isn't just a "dessert course"
>>34715261Yeah, it does seem like it. Im not normal after all.
>>34710500Your whole attitude towards sex is just so fundamentally wrong that it's hard to know where to start. Sex isn't a competition; you aren't graded on your performance at the end. And it isn't some kind of video game where you have to master the correct sequence of moves to trigger a "victory". Sex, fundamentally, is about two people who are fond of each other expressing and intensifying their feelings. If you don't get your head round the fact that it is an emotional experience first and a physical one second, you'll never even get started on having good sex. It is certainly possible for someone to be objectively bad at sex, but that's not the result of "performance", it's because they're selfish, imaginative, uncaring, and shitty at communicating.For women particularly, sex is about 80% mental and 20% physical. Good sex involves things like making her feel safe, making her feel beautiful, making her feel attractive (not at all the same thing as making her feel that you are attracted to her), and making her feel cherished. You need to understand that sex can start several hours before you're in bed together. You need to kiss her in a way that makes her feel like she's in another world. In bed, you need to learn how to tease and build anticipation. You need to encourage her (and yourself!) to be properly in the moment, and to savour and relish every sensation. You need to be someone who thinks that kissing a woman's neck for fifteen minutes straight is a good use of his time. All these things are more important than how long you "last".t. man whose gf is extremely happy
>>34715285You underestimate how much women enjoy desserts.
>>34715303>t. man whose gf is extremely happyAnd does she...make you happy if you know what I mean?
>>34715500>And does she...make you happy if you know what I mean?Extremely. And often.
>>34711434Elaborate on this, what methods, activities, etc goes before penetrating and how much time should you take or how to notice when to change? I'm not looking for a schedule, rather for signals on the female
It will be over very quickly, you will be humiliated, and she will leave. Trauma will haunt you for the rest of your life.
>>34715845You are a clueless virgin that experienced women will cherish deflowing. You aren't supposed to know what to do.
The first time I put on a condom it made me cum
>>34715845Flirting is fun. Kissing is fun. Hugging is fun. Caressing is fun. Undressing is fun. Breasts are a source of fun. Touching private parts is fun. Skin-to-skin contact is fun. Getting her wet or him hard is fun. Oral sex is fun. Teasing is fun.Seeing her/him wanting more is fun. The point is that you do some or all of these things, NOT as "foreplay" leading to The Real Thing, but because they ARE the real thing, with the p-in-v bit just one more part.
>>34710500Don't have sex then
>>34716999>experienced women will cherish deflowing.He has better chance at winning lotto
>>34712323>Man has tried hard to simulate that, and even with the best materials science, a woman's vagina is still the top.And this is why, my fellow niggas, delusional men who cut their dicks off, will never be fucking women. You cannot replace a real fucking vagina. There is no substitute for a real woman. End of story.
