Hard to sum up what I feel right now, but I'm an 18-year-old woman who's really struggling with relationships in general.I grew up in a fairly unstable home. My parents were in the military, there was alcoholism, divorces, and a lot of chaos. I was also molested when I was young. Thankfully I didn't go down the path that people sometimes expect after things like that, mostly because I had a good relationship with my dad. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I've never had sex, and I've never had a boyfriend.The part I'm struggling with is that I have a difficult time emotionally connecting with people. I can hold conversations just fine. I'm not shy and I don't have social anxiety, but I don't naturally know how to respond when people are emotional, and I don't feel very empathetic. I know that sounds bad, but I don't want to sugarcoat it. I don't dislike people, but I often feel like I'm missing whatever lets everyone else naturally connect. I understand emotions intellectually, but I don't always experience or express them the same way. At the same time, I desperately want people to understand me and to feel emotionally close to someone myself. That's the contradiction I can't make sense of.Naturally, I don't really have friends and I'm not especially close with my family either.On top of that, I feel incredibly inexperienced compared to other people my age. I've talked to quite a few guys online over the last couple of years, and the conversations almost always become sexual. They'll ask what I'm into, what kind of porn I watch, what I like in bed, and the honest answer is... I don't know. I've never had a boyfriend. I haven't had those experiences, and I don't really care about porn. When I say "I don't know," I feel like they either think I'm lying or that there's something wrong with me. Then they usually lose interest.
I've also been told I'm "boring," a "prude," or that I come across as "masculine" because of how I talk and act. Whenever I try to act more "feminine," it feels forced, and people seem to notice that too. I'm not anti-sex and I'm not a prude. I just don't seem to have whatever social ease everyone else does.Lately I've started wondering whether I'm simply missing something everyone else has. Other women seem to know how to flirt, connect, and express themselves naturally. I just... don't. Not for a lack of trying either. I can't shake off the off-putting aura.I guess I'm asking whether anyone else has felt this way. Is there actually a way out of this way of thinking? Should I seek therapy?
just meet some guy from internet and he will fuck you, doesn't matter if you are virgin or not
I suggest making the first move on someone you like. The guys who will take initiative at that age just want to fuck. I mean, all guys want to fuck but the shy ones are likely to want more. If they start talking about your favourite way to suck dick as soon as you meet them tell them to kick rocks.Also you're 18, you're not supposed to be a grade A dick taker at your age. You only think that because whores are loud and obnoxious.You will not find genuine and lasting validation from the sexual advances of men. Obviously feeling desired is nice but it very quickly turns into being used. Normal people who haven't been fucking since 14 still exist, stop thinking they don't.
>>34714130all of these things are quite true
>>3471416634714166I personally feel honesty and speaking from my truth is one of my strengths. I hope my words help whomever she is find her way
>>34712660>difficult time emotionally connecting with people>how to respond when people are emotionalThese are 2 different things.
