>female art student>had only 2 relationships and they didn’t go well>never kissed and had no sexual experience My past relationship didn’t go well but I still tried to get over them by trying with new people but everytime it was reciprocated I felt uneased and the need to leave.There’s a boy in my class that I find cute and we started talking by message. After a few days I asked him to go out (We never really talked irl before) and it felt kinda romantic? We were in a park watching the sunset. After that he asked to see me again to go to the movies and I immediately felt stressed because I wondered If he was interested in me. I felt stressed and left earlier because of it. I wonder if it’s my anxiety talking or maybe the fear of not being in control but I really don’t want to hurt him. How do you come to trust someone when you never experienced anything?
>>34713229I'm a dude and I'm saying if I ask a girl out to the movies it means I like her. Most men will tell you the same, if we're taking you out 1 on 1 to see a movie, it means we are attracted to you and we're trying to build up to a 'right moment' to make some kind of move. Whether that's a convo where feelings are confessed or we try for a kiss to express the same thing physically. Just keep going on dates, be will be plucking up courage to make a move, for us guys we kinda need to push past some nerves or fear first lol What helps is if you send some signals that you're receptive to his advances, that works. Things like subtle physical touch, deliberately sit next to him where your shoulder brushes his, or your thigh against his, that sort of thing. He'll get the message
>>34713229So, you go on a date with a guy, he invites to go on another date with him, and you're not sure if he's interested in you? What exactly would he have to do to make you realise that he is?
>>34713347The thing is we aren’t that close because we never really talked before (weird thing is that we always send each other gifs by messages and don’t talk). We can hold conversations irl but it feels awkward since we aren’t close yet. He hasn’t made any advance yet, I’m only making assumptions because he asked me to see a movie. It seems early for me to be making moves or for him too. Or is that how guys fonction?
>>34713386It depends on the guy. But typically if we are talking about a mentally sane guy who isn't desperate or a coomer, he'll probably churn some type of move out by the 3rd date, 5th at the latest. He'll be wanting to get close as well via convo. If he's also shy and shit, he will be thinking the same things you are, wondering what he should say or do. In normie world we call the act of pushing past this stalemate as "breaking the ice". A movie ought to do it, since you get to talk about what you just saw.
>>34713368I don’t think it was a date..we didn’t make it clear before that. Can we really start a relationship without being friends before?
>>34713386He's attracted to the little what he knows about you. You should keep going on dates, getting to know each other is the point of them.
>>34713409It was a date. It doesn't need to be said, a date is something everyone usually knows is happening unless they don't have social experience, which happens to a lot of people so don't worry.If a guy asks you out to go somewhere 1-on-1, just you and him, at a specific time at a specific (date). Then we call that a date.
>>34713406I should have mentioned that I’m not seing him for 2 months so no dates..
>>34713427But how do you know the difference between going out as friends or as potential partners? Cuz last year I liked a guy for the entire year and asked him to see movies and he started asking me too but he really was only considering me as a friend..
>>34713450Yeah but as long as you keep correspondence somehow either text or phone calls he will assume you're still interested in him. There's no real hard social rules to these sorts of things. You just hang out until either your feelings spill out or his does. Sometimes couples don't even have to formally declare they're a couple to know it. Sometimes it can be fumbling and awkward but cute. Me and my woman found ourselves giggling like idiots saying goodbye for the night, and I said goodbye after she did, then I said it again due to nervousness and she said it back and we end up grinning like we both know we like each other and the next day I ask "So are we a thing now?" And she said "yeah I hope so" and I said "So let's be a thing then"Aka we started officially dating lol
>>34713464>But how do you know the difference between going out as friends or as potential partners?Location and social context.So choice of date location:>Restaurant>Park>Movie Theater>Beach>Picnic>Museum >BarBasically if it's a public attraction designed for fun, leisure or recreation that's basically the social signal it's a date. Sometimes it gets tricky if it's a coffee shop or a deli, that could be just friends or business. Some dumb guys pick those and send the wrong signal.Context of the communication or history of communication you share. If you have broken formal boundaries, are on a first name basis to each other, and convos are not about work or school and have drifted into deep personal info about each other, or just playful shit like sending memes, if you are asked to a date under those conditions, it's usually a date for potential partners.As a rule of thumb for us guys we know for a fact that if we ask a girl, any girl out for a date no matter the context, it's usually for something, either potential partner or trying to have casual sex. That's why women will then test men socially with specific questions about his intentions subtly to figure out if he wants something serious or just wants a hook up so she knows if she wants to back off or entertain his sexual desires
>>34713229>because I wondered If he was interested in me.If he's going out with you, then he is, at least on some level. If you want to be sure he's interested in you as a person, then just don't have sex without commitment (ideally, that means marriage, since some guys enjoy the "chase" and will happily stick around to keep trying their luck).
>>34713409>Can we really start a relationship without being friends before?The majority of people date without being friends first.
>>34713464>But how do you know the difference between going out as friends or as potential partners?Why not ask?
>>34713510>The majority of people date without being friends first.This. Unfortunately that's true especially today, 60% of all relationships now start online. Strangers just go straight into dating now, or acquaintance into dating. Friendship route into dating is dead now which is a shame because it would avoid so many toxic relationships if people just used that as the testing grounds to figure each other out
>>34713229tell him how you feel and why you left early. if he accepts you then you have nothing to worry about
>>34713510Wrong. Researches show two thirds of people are friends before dating.
>>34713533If they're including relationships started before 1990 then sure that tracks. We're talking about today
>>34713540This is not from the 1990shttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35251491/
>>34713496I see, but he doesn’t seem like a guy who just wants a hookup. He kinda seems inexperienced like I am. Maybe that’s a good thing but no one seems confident enough to make a move.
>>34713548Yeah on the friend list on social media lol. Look, whatever shit researchers are seeing isn't congruent to my reality or the reality of actual people dating. Every couple I know including my own has the same pattern>They knew of each other>Friend of a friend or someone at a local thing like school or work or church>Vaguely exchanged hellos and how are yous>Someone, usually the guy kept staring>The girl kept sending non verbal body signals>At some point the guy asks her out to somewhere>They do that a few times, either they admit they're a couple or they kiss and admit it or they fuck and then they admit they're a couple.Unless one of them is like "umm idk what I want umm idk if I have space in my life for a relationship umm let me break up with my bf/gf I never told you about first and then maybe"
>>34713548There's friends and there's "friends". Dating friends of friends is quite a common route. But actually being properly friends first is something that pre-dates dating sites and apps.
>>34713569>Maybe that’s a good thing but no one seems confident enough to make a move.Well look I'm a man myself and I like to be as blunt as a bludgeon and expose how we really think: If a guy asks a girl out to a date, it means he is attracted to her physically, that's just a guarantee. He is attracted to the (idea) of her potential personality based on what little exchanges he has had with her. He may fantasize and think about the girl a lot in his head. Ruminating on potential future scenarios, from relationship to sex to marriage to anything, but he knows that's just fantasy he wants to see what reality is saying. So he asks the girl out on a date to see how she is as a person. The guy isn't expecting a knock out personality, he is typically looking for kindness or gentleness or something to indicate that she isn't socially unpleasant in a rude or bitch way. If he confirms she is sweet in some way, he asks for another date, because at that point he wants to escalate into building into something more. If he is a decent guy he wants to build into something romantic, ideally into the boyfriend girlfriend territory. He also wants to have sex, every man who asks a girl out on a date has the desire to have sex with her. That's just how we are as men. But if he isn't mentally deficient, has morals or principles, has respect for himself and women, he won't try to make a beeline into just meaningless sex, he will be looking for romantic sex, sex with feelings in it, emotional connection, as a couple. That's guys in a nutshell and we are all like that. That's why we get pissed if we got a GF who thinks it's okay to go out on some trip with a different guy and she says "we're just friends" and we know for a fact that ain't true lol. Cuz we know what the guy is thinking
>>34713617Some guys will try to have sex before the asking to be bf/gf part some wait until then. In my estimation, most guys will wait until it's a relationship (I fucking hope, can't tell with zoomers these days). But either way if he's a decent guy he will at least keep building on the emotional connection. If he shows no desire to know you in a deep way, keeps trying to take you to bars to get drunk or he is moving quick to set dates at your place (aka your bedroom) or his place (aka his bedroom) it means he's speedrunning into sex.I don't know what dudes do after that whether or not they follow through on dating no clue as I've never been a fuckboy when I was younger. Usually if you ask experienced women they can help you with insights
>>34713652>>34713617That said it can be tricky. There some guys who will speedrun into sex but are sincere in dating and romance but they only do that because they got the impression from somewhere that if you don't have sex with the woman ASAP she will get the 'ick' it feel put off and he loses the potential girlfriend.
>>34713617>>34713652>>34713683And another tip:Some women make this crucial mistake with guys where they know that guys love sex and they want to impress the guy and get him into the emotional love bond part ASAP, some girls will speedrun to the sex part themselves in hopes it will be some love potion that gets him to commit. For the guys who are genuine and wanted a solid relationship, this is a massive turn off as we instantly assume you've done this with uncountable men before. Some guys can be hypocritical as shit here, as they will think with their dicks and not their brains and have the sex only to ghost because they got turned off romantically (crazy I know some guys commit the same thing they condemn the girl of, this is because our sex drive overrides our reason due to peak hormone surges)If you want to snag the guy and win a relationship, slow and steady wins the race. So enjoy the next few dates, let the guy figure you out as a person, just keep nibbling and setting times and dates to hang out. Ask personal questions and make hints at things like discussing the concept of love or family or marriage or what he likes in women and vice versa. Socially it's expected for the man to make the move first. Sometimes the girl can, but I find the most reliable way is to just forget those small rules and just naturally conversate into feelings stuff for each other and just grow into commitment instead of falling in quick. Those relationships last longer in the long term.
