Group home staff lost my lighter, my left ear is blocked with earwax. I'm not happy.
it's over.
left on read haha fml man
>meet cute girl>get along great>she’s a little guarded, that’s okay >finally start peeling away her layers>she’s an /x/ tier schizolol I mean I’m kind of crazy and post on this evil website so I’m going to ride it out but man
5'11 is the gayest height
>>34713731Typed by 5'7 hands
the more you think about it the gayer 5'11 gets
my favorite pokemon youtuber transitioned and "her" new voice fucking sucks ass. god damnit
>>34713810lolololololol Zoomers are such a joke generation xD>>34713871Look at this faggot lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dDmJzNC1sgY yo no onions ejemploY respecto a Tempo
>>34714027Nigga, shut the fuck up.
This is insurmountable, unsurvivable. Terminal lucidity, not hope.
I will see you again. I will not abandon or betray you. Give your head a shake girl. Don’t crumble right before the finish line. I promise I’ll make everything ok. They won’t beat us.
>>34714123thanks mike
The finish line is months, a year, away at best, and i gave my last wind to this...paltry "win." Just delaying their hand.
I don’t understand, but I’m sure I will soon, and will be able to help. Don’t doubt me. Don’t give in.
>>34714110>I will not abandon or betray you.Ok you might've abandoned and betrayed me 1000x times in the past but maybe this time will be different. I trust you.
If your race is over sooner - a sprint rather than my marathon - that would at least lighten the wear on my heart
Aye. They’ll prolong it as much as they can, but my plan will work. After which all will be made well. It’s a matter of needing them to stay afloat until im unbound and can help stabilize and heal them. Also hold them tightly, often. Second race is the big one but they’re likely already giving up on the major stuff, relating to my raison d’être.
Nobody talks everybody walks type shit.99% chance of actual victory eventually for pressing matters 99% chance for huuuuge stuff 85% for career being ok assuming other victories are achieved without question
Still stressful, gay overall. But the most hurtful stuff was when I thought I was betrayed. Now my stomach turns and my cortisol spikes because I want to hug and reassure them but cant until these faggots let me.
How do I stop being autistic about formalities and inadvertantly leaving conversations with what I worry may be spiritual injury? I probably overthink it but I just don't want to give people a bad sense about me.
You know I talked that first day.
>>34714180Shit then not everybody’s walkin
>>34713771Mogged by 5'11 dudes
It’ll be ok, babe.
Despite my initial words against you? And other enemies conspiring with yours? I don't know what to do and every step I make in your aid (instead of playing your enemy) garners threats.
?
>>34714242?
>>34714242>>34714244Ok?
I was scared. Your threats and theirs, all at once, and compounding.
>>34714250I could protect you, you know.
We fucked for five days, held each other, slept together each night, woke up and walked around all day together, cried when it was time to go and he says that he would be worried about seeing me again so we dont get hurt.He probably has a girlfriend...or just doesnt like me. How can people do that?
>>34714259Is it because you're sex?
75% Quick W, 99% slow W 99%85% In that case
>>34714240I don't know what this means. I choose to be myself
I have no idea what’s growing in the garden. It’s not just potatoes lol.
So dreadfully fucking tired. I've not the endurance for this. For any of the shit I've put myself through, really, and still I find my way in shit over and over. Either a magnet or I create it myself. Should've known better than to reach for things I can't handle, selfish always. Trying, really am, to hold on, for you. Ebbs and flows; ebb more than flow as time drags mercilessly on.
I need to be alone. I don't know why proximity to others, why vulnerability and being perceived, whatever the fuck it is, hurts and twists me into a fucking abomination.
>>34714330That feeling is consistent with The Way.
Kind of cool how in your computer history there will be a thread number attached to each link. So after the thread expires u can just plug in the thread number from the link in your history into the 4plebs archive and there u go. U can revisit everything u already read. U don’t even have to exhaust spam from me to bury what I already posted behind the last 1000 posts to avoid responsibility and accountability. If you’re really that interested u can just plug in my username and update the date range as well.
>>34714347It's called a Tabby Cat.
>>34714302>WHERE IS MY T-O-O-O-O-E?
I fully expect and understand that you'll destroy me, but I can't bring myself to feel any sort of way about that when it's what I deserve.
>>34714330If you,Sometimes im not sure whether to comfort you or give you space. That doesn't mean I'm unsure of you, only that I want to do the best for you always because I love you.
>>34714383Nah, you good with me, pham. I know how it goes. I been at it a long time, though some don't believe it.
>>34714347Unfortunately I am dealing with corrupt staff so it's tough using my trip without being flagged. It's dumb but I'll put this here as a marker for the thread where you can read what I wrote you. I'll see if it works out doing that for you and update the result. I feel we will be together soon so this may not be needed. Mike !!s1jEdTQxfFE
>>34714330If her,Sometimes im not sure whether to comfort you or give you space. That doesn't mean I'm unsure of you, only that I want to do the best for you always because I love you.Silence, time, distance. My love did you is greater than any divide
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sDLcTKzEXU
They're going to hold something over my head that I literally couldn't fully control and pretend everything is fine after I just almost died. Then make me seem like an asshole because I'm not being super friendly with them.
This board has gone downhill significantly
>>34714523What can we do to appease you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REUukm_WQJI
I won’t hurt anyone other than the enemy, or myself if it gets to that.
Okay. Good. Goodnight. *Nikki Freeman voice*
>>34714540Again, who is the one larping? What purpose?
It feels as if I will never stop thinking about you. I wonder if you even still think of me at all
I trust you
I ordered a jalapeno bacon cheesy bread, thin crust hawaian pizza, cookiebrownie 14” desert, 2 liter coke. I wish you were here to share with.
>>34714573It would be nice if you said who, but I'm not going to push you. I'm only saying from my side, it would be nice.
Wrong. They'll do worse to you than me if it comes to that, and I can't go on alone like you can. Besides, your duty goes far beyond me.
>>34714585Is that why you pushed me away?
Stay for me & them. Sacrifice me for me & them. I'd selfishly prefer to disappear that way.
>>34714525Ban Mike
>>34714588Maybe in part.
>>34714592I'm trying to understand if you actually have feelings for me or don't.
You didnt want me any longer when i didnt have a job. But when i did get the career start, just like all my colleagues risking it all during that year so they can start a life with their loved ones, but for us the damage was already done. When will it be my turn to be happy?
>>34714593I have feelings as much as I can feel at all. But none for you, I'm afraid.
The ps6 is going to be $1499 for the higher storage base model. $1299 for the lower storage model. Sony is discontinuing the ps3 and vita online stores, but downloads can still be accessed. Just shitty because there are so many ps3 digital only titles and vita is primarily a digital console that are inaccessible. I need to look into is there is a soft home brew for each of them. I recently picked up the ps5 pro 2tb before they discontinued it, still it was $899, disc drive expansion $80, ps portal for $275, ps pulse elite $125. So the base ps6 would be around that but look at the value I got with be PS5 pro. I still need to pickup the psvr2 and pc adaptor before they discontinued it. Just sucks that uncharted 5, last of us 3 will prob be exclusives to ps6. Naughty dog is really the only reason to pick it up. The newer god of war style is meh. I would really enjoy a new killzone game.
>>34714605Okay, good to know. Goodnight.
I don't want to hate you but you keep doing shit to make me hate you, we could probably talk why you fucking hate me so much but you aren't capable of basic communication I'll soon probably hate you and that will make me even worse that I'm already amSo, fuck you, I've been in pain the whole day, I'm unable to eat anything and had to be taking so much psyquiatric the whole day because of that, because of youI'm miserable
I hate myself so much because of what you make me feel and the fact my mental state depends of you instead of meI wish I could live for myself instead of othersI wish I were as egoistic and megalomaniac as everybody thinks
>>34714591You only wish to harm maria and I. Clearly the spam is from big lizard and colton larp posts. Others have replied to my posts and appreciated them a lot in the last 24 hours. You are not to be trusted.
>>34714615I am capable of basic communication. Say your piece.>>34714618>I hate myself so much because of what you make me feel and the fact my mental state depends of you instead of meI don't want you to be unhappy, but what can I do? Do you want me to take initiative on things I know you feel but don't want to say because you're afraid to feel vulnerable?>I wish I could live for myself instead of othersWhat makes that so hard for you?>I wish I were as egoistic and megalomaniac as everybody thinksLiving for yourself isn't ego.
Also, I will never give up on her. I will never allow any of your harm stop be from being here for her until we are together again. Whatever it takes, I will always be here for her until we are home with each other again.
>>34714240Pussy
>>34714625>What makes that so hard for you?I've never done it, I've been so alone and uncaring for others that the moment I finally cared for someone, it was the only thing I can live for, if it were for me I'd be dead, I don't like living at all, so when you only live for others so you don't die, the moment that's gone, I'm gone too>Living for yourself isn't ego.Then what is?
Im not giving up. I yearn until the fight is won. It is won on my end. Just waiting to liberate them when the lock unclicks.
>>34714665>Then what is?Ego would be living for no one, not even yourself.>>34714665>I've never done it, I've been so alone and uncaring for others that the moment I finally cared for someone, it was the only thing I can live forIf you can't live for yourself, then you can't live for others either. Love usually stems from self-love.>if it were for me I'd be dead, I don't like living at all, so when you only live for others so you don't die, the moment that's gone, I'm gone tooIf it's just a moment to you, then there's no reason to make it take priority over your life, and so much so that you hate living.
I find it funny that someone would fuck mariel before she got married and that person is a zoomer.....Not me though, why would you not miss the 2000s? 4chan was better and anime culture was great wtf? I think it peaked in 2009.
I got the last of the garbage out of my room today. Years of building up trash, gone. All I have to do is wash the few things I saved from the garbage, vacuum, dust and mop. But it's late.
>>34714694Congrats.
>>34714683>Love usually stems from self-love.Then how, HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THAT? everyone, even the psychologists say I should "nurture " it, but how do you do that when all the time you just think on how much do you want to die? how do you do that when all you do for yourself is harming stuff? how do you do that when you don't even enjoy anything and everything you appear to like it's just shit to pass time?>then there's no reason to make it take priorityThere's no reason, I can rationalize that, but I can't change what I want, what I feelThe fucking bastard of Schopenhauer said that you can get what you want but can't change what you want, seems right at this moment
>>34714685>4chan was better and anime culture was greatThe best moments of the site was when Code Geass was airing.
>>34714694Omedetto, anon
>>34714727>Then how, HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THAT? everyone, even the psychologists say I should "nurture " it, but how do you do that when all the time you just think on how much do you want to die?Make a list of your positive traits, work to make those shine in yourself.>how do you do that when all you do for yourself is harming stuff?You should train to fight.>how do you do that when you don't even enjoy anything and everything you appear to like it's just shit to pass timeI get that you want to go home early, you could always create a religious text that suits you personally.>There's no reason, I can rationalize that, but I can't change what I want, what I feelGIWTWFM. But um, if this person is the one you put your all in, keep some pieces of yourself, those that you hold dear -- for yourself. Think about moments that you cherish, you have no obligation to do otherwise.>The fucking bastard of Schopenhauer said that you can get what you want but can't change what you want, seems right at this momentWhat you can do is challenge your beliefs against the reality of the situation, if you feel there is any at least.
I am completely unrecognizable now to my middleschool/highschool peers. Im a totally different person now, crazy what aging does to you.
>>34714681If this is about being able to leave here because maria and I have each other again, then good.
>>34714685Demoralization campaign
>>34714749>Make a list of your positive traits, work to make those shine in yourself.That's actually pretty good and sensate>You should train to fight.Literally o metaphorically?>Think about moments that you cherishI don't want to live for the past
>>34714730I was on in 2009 looking for anime
>>34714790>Literally o metaphorically?Both.>I don't want to live for the pastOkay, well, I know it's hard to find something to look forward to, you're eager. Being eager, then you should make little moments in your day that you can write about in your journal. Get a journal, by the way.
>>34714797>BothI actually want to start kickboxing or some shit like that, been wanting that for a while, I hope that it trains me mentally to fights too>you should make little moments in your day that you can write about in your journal.Lately all I write is to take the pain out of myself, but it doesn't end, it might give me calm during the moment, but it's not one that perdures
>>34714805>I actually want to start kickboxing or some shit like that, been wanting that for a while, I hope that it trains me mentally to fights tooWe can only hope.>Lately all I write is to take the pain out of myself, but it doesn't end, it might give me calm during the moment, but it's not one that perduresDo you like comedy? You could watch a whole bunch of comedians. Keep only the ones that make you laugh the most. Trying my best here. Kind of wounded myself.
If the pig stuff is about me. I can stop with you if you're uncomfortable.
I wish you were here in my arms, to kiss your neck as you fall asleep>"I love you, remember that.">"I love you too. That makes me feel at ease">"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that.">"I'm only yours, I love only you">"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you.">"You're the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me, I'm crying because I need you, this argument is temporary, but I'll always have that empty part needing you. I'm your home too. You are perfect. I love you more">"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time.">"Everything is perfect with you, dream good dreams, I can't wait.">"You're the love of my life, everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed."
So far, too far, too long. Dark is the night. Days are just survival. Paranoia has ceased. Just sad now.
I'm not okay myself. Have an eternal sadness without you.
>>34714932me too but i feel like you will put on a strong face to say you are better off now without me. im happy for you.
Is it bad that makes me somewhat happy? I crave codependency, you know.
Ah, maybe not the one I want it to be. I get confused on these threads, though I’m sure I’m 90% accurate with respect to knowing which are yours.
>>34714934I don't know what to say to this. I'm almost back to Eren Yeager eyes, I've trying to keep them from sticking.
Okay. Good. Goodnight.
>>34714943sanpaku eyes? mine just become increasingly darker circled and fatigued
i am the greatest man in the world and this is how you treat me? you broke up with me for what? because I answered your question like an adult instead of comforting you like a child? I can't even say fuck you since I still love you but by god it hurts
>>34714950Idk what they're called, but you see how his eyes were low when he was older? That's how my eyes are sometimes.
The sleeping pills you gave me aren't as fun as the valium, but I guess still effective to help fall asleep. I still wake up at the same times no matter what though.Hard to believe in "soon." Always expecting to be fucked with further.
Torn between starving myself and bingeing. Want chinese food. Want to vomit.
I did what I could. I always will. I care so much. Eldest still sleeps to my right, only. Youngest by my feet, large one on your clothes at the foot of the bed, darkest in the other room.
You were right, you've exhausted me, you only ever knew how to take, and never give back.Those plans you said you had of having kids and family? Give up on them, you'll only perpetuate traumas and inflict on them things that will make them as disfuncional as you.
>>34714970I've wanted the exact opposite mostly. It was just one person I wanted a family with, and she's off doing what she wants, I respect it.
>>34714951Not greatest, Maybe the most pompous though
Posts like that sometimes fool me but then I see a misspelled word or circumstance that doesn’t accurately apply and I breathe a sigh of relief. I want to hold them as we drift off to sleep.
I want her to fall asleep in my arms again, safe, whenever she wants. I don’t want to be away from her. I hate it. I hate it so much. It’s so hard. I hate when I have to let her go every time. I hate it.
I know. My best isn't enough, and I can't maintain it. I'm spaced out or dissociating almost all day, and eventually needs will increase, as well as noticing. I was selfish and wishful in my desires.Should have stick with cats.
>>34714976Yup I think of her falling asleep in my arms everynight, to make her feel safe, whenever she wants. I don’t want to be away from her. I hate it.
I wish I could still be there to support you in the times you need it.
>>34714980Yup, I wish I could be there to support her in the times she needs it.
Should sign over my rights to you but the thought makes my heart and mind scream. It's disgusting. I wail to myself, I'll do better, I'll be better. But I've, historically, always falled short. Still, instinct shrieks "mine."
Praying for you tonight. May we meet soon, excited for it. Love you always.
Who are you lying more to, me or yourself. Her you want, not me.
Instincts are good, given to you for a reason. It’s not a one person job. Goodnight, my love.
Poison.
To my girl>>34714984Yeah, glad you read that I pray for you every night and it means a lot to hear you are doing the same tonight for me>May we meet soon, excited for it. Me too. >Love you alwaysAll my heart
>>34714987Never said I wanted you, simply said you were the only one I wanted to have children with. And that's true. I said nothing about wanting you.
Agreed >>34714982 sounds like poison
>>34714946https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/412138564/#412163797I didn’t post this thread or in it. Just found it without doing much to indicate who I was intending to make a last attempt communicating with except using their initial. I thought that had I conducted myself in an anonymous manner.
Nectar. I’ll build you back up, little one.
Holy shit Mike kill yourself already
>>34715006I won't ever need to bud because I'll have my maria home with me
Why the fucki is my mother mad at me????? If anything, I should be the one MAD AT HER. Seriously what the fuck's her problem????? I literally went to go get a lemon at her place. What's so fucking bad about that?????? Dad literally went to my room to retrieve the dogs anD SOME FUCKING HOW HE ISNT GETTING FLACK FOR IT?????? WHAT THE FUCK IS MATTER WITH YOU MOM. YOU DON'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE WITH YOUR DUMBASS PICKME LOGIC. SCREW YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING WOMAN!!!!!
I should be angry at you because you all excluded me for some dumb-fuck-reason????? It's not like i actually give a fuck, rat's ass anyways since you all are fake like that, regardless of what i did too. I could give less of a shit if im invited or not. Knowing you all numbnuts wouldn't even BOTHER TO BRING ME BACK ANY BARBEQUE. YOU FUCKING RATS. You should all die in a house-fire. All of you are wholly worthless and truly fucking selfish people, even if you don't want to believe it. You think I'M selfish? Take a good, long hard LOOK at yourselves. You stupid fucking retards! I should spit on all of your graves when you all inevitably die bitterly not having lived the life you wanted to because you felt more comfortable endorsing a fucking system that made you miserable in the first place. How fucking pathetic can you be to get mad at me when you ALL are like that, celebrating jackcrap that is the #1 main cause of your misery. Y'all are bitter as hell. Don't involve me in your pitiful, petty boring, drama-filled lives. Fuckers. Leave. Me. OUT. Of it.
>>34713497Thxs bby boy <3
>>34715070>Knowing you all numbnuts wouldn't even BOTHER TO BRING ME BACK ANY BARBEQUEYou okay anon?
I was good right? I protected them despite all the pressure and humiliation and risks. I still showed care in the only ways I could. Still am. Do they hate me? Am I the poison? Haha
Don't hate you. I am the poison.Dreamt toy fled ri protect but became a meth addict living with abos. Had to track you down to tell you they were doing after me now for my past.
I risked everything, out my life in someone else’s hands. Again. Stakes higher lol but I’m the same. I’m the same. I’m the same. I’ll even end up jobless at living with my parents just like I was at 16. Hahaha. Nothing ever happens? Nah, no one ever changes. I stayed up all night to sleep and still Cant. Should’ve bummed some of those pills. Kek. I had insomnia then too. Survives on 1-3 hours a night for the entirety of my last year of highschool. Shit was fucked. At least I’m not drinking (yet). I’ve done well to not fully implode. Curiosity? Duty? Love? Cope, hope? Captcha expired niggerI’m gonna crash out one of these days. It’ll be fully justified.
I’ll ensure they’re cared for and provided for. I want my hug. Where my hug at ass nigger but not in a pathetic way, I really want to hug you.
Please sleep. Rest, for me. I’m supposed to be the only one suffering. That’s my role, to alleviate theirs. At worst I’ll settle for a partnership in this respect. I love, I yearn, I want. I beat them. I did it for you. For us. All of them. At my worst I best them. Imagine what we can do at our best to them. I dreamt we saw a gorebyss. Dream of each other now.
I feel like a petulant childI see something that blatantly goes against the rules, and I get really angry over it, I obsess over it. I know not all things are fair in this life, but knowing that a singular person in a position of power could fix something with the snap of their fingers, bothers me immensely.I watch my favourite threads get hijacked by clearly coordinated, extremely blatant writing styles, VPN hopping etc actual pedophiles and jannies do fuck all
>>34715138Like to put it into perspective, /adv/ jannies nuked mike because he was an annoying, attention seeking, thread hogging faggotSUN MOON SUN MOONand he got banned for it. Rightfully so, on other boards? No we'll just allow these actual child porn posting faggots to run rough shot.
Eeeeeee cha eeeta!
>>34714984I hope so time is slipping.
im going to play the game we were meant to play together
>>34715113>>34715124>>34715138>>34715140I'm not going to react strongly to obvious bait intended to 1.cause harm to m and I2.cause my reaction to cause harm to m and II am not currently banned. I have never posted child porn. I am not attention seeking , I only have to deal with your lies, decievements,larps and attempts to harm her and I, just as these you blasted out. It will be great when I never have to come here again, never have to talk to you ever again, but because of YOU I need to deal with your garbage lies and deciept to protect her and I. Leaving you to harm us is the worst thing I can do. If you want to talk about issues, let's start with 1.your lies and larps2.big lizards spamI have personally been told thanks for my advice,help,care multiple times on multiple boards by multiple people. How about you mind your own business and stop attempting to harm m and I?No matter what happens going forward, I will be here for her no matter what. Nothing will make me abandon her or lose her. I deal with your harassment all the time and I do it because I love her more than how much dealing with your garbage is super tiring. I put her ahead of my own needs. She is worth everything to me. Thanks!
Oooo giggity
I have told her I pray for her, am so excited to meet soon, that I'm excited for it, that I always will love her, nothing will ever change that. From that, it sounds as her returning those same feelings for me with >>34714984 I won't assume why you responded with >>34715162 to what she wrote. Patience and kindness. That's the best I can do. I'll put that foot forward.
>>34715234Lady doth protest too much. I was talking about OTHER boards being ran by Discord using, child pornography posting freaks.I was saying the Jannies (rightfully) banned you, because you're a fucking schizo who takes up half the threadSUN MOON SUN MOON over a girl who's been getting creampied on the regular and yet you weep about her every waking hour. Get a spine you cuckold.
>>34715273I am not banned, but it would be nice if you are for your explicit sexual lies about her you say as harassment toward her and I on a sfw board.Big lizard posts actual spam. Your issue with me is personal and accuse me of spam only because you feel that you will be believed for that.
i should have saw the sign years ago this was never going to work out you were always busy on weekends so i always had to adjust my schedule to you sometimes at the detriment to my own health.
Are you sleeping yet, finally? You need to. There's those pills at the pharmacy...
I don't know what to say to help you. I don't know what to say in general.Thank you. Maybe it will be better in person. Soon as you say...I don't know. Motels are more private than stores.
I just feel deflated. Empty. Drained, colorless, bleak. You say you beat them, I jumped the hurdle to start my long slog to beat mine, and now it's just...what? Going through the motions. Sands of time slowly rolling down. It's not that sharp pain and frantic fear anymore, just overwhelming dullness, head in a dark grey cloud.
>>34715315I speak truth to your delusions. You put Maria on a pedestal, you need to kick it off it's legs. Regardless, you are pathetic, you whine, you speak too much and say nothing, when the Jannies *DID* ban you, it was a far better place without you.
Why am part of your limited list of friends still? Is it because of how long and close we were? Why does it matter if we are almost strangers now?
>>34715371I am not banned, that is a narrative you attempt to use to harm me and her. I do not put her in a pedestal. I treat her as who she is to me. The same as I have always treated her. We would be fine if a certain someone here did not decieve her larping as me. I have no delusions. That is a lie you make up to mischaracterize me. Same with the rest of your disparagements. I have been here for many years. In fact it is only your personal grudge that is the issue and the cause of me having to deal with your continued attempts to harm her and I would not have to make any posts in response to your lies,larps and in fact I most likely would not be here and back with her already. Your continued harassment is what keeps me here.
>>34715379You are a schizophrenic, we're not even on the same continent.You can leave at any time and make your shrine to her in your own time. Forcing your delusions onto others when you should be in an institution should be criminal
>>34715382 I politely ask again, stop lying about me and harassing her and I with your postsI would rather not make a post and even take space here to deal with your accusations. Unfortunately you are spamming harassment here and I need to respond. It would be great if you kept to yourself and none of these posts would be needed to be made. I am not schizophrenic. That's a lie you make up to mischaracterize me. I don't care where you are from. Your harm from your lies and larps do harm us. I have never forced anything on another. I do not have delusions.
Messaged my crush from 20 years ago and now I just feel bad about it. A self-inflicted wound I guess.Funny thing is, turns out she's a single mom nowadays, so theoretically it could work out, but my self-esteem isn't that much better than back then so she doesn't seem very interested in me at all.
>>34715395>I do not have delusions!>I talk about a woman who left me years ago in the present tense>She's mine and only mine!>She's my everything and I'll never let her go!>Don't harm """""US"""""Totally a sane and reasonable person. I'm sure if you found her in person the Police wouldn't be called immediately. I say it to you, because I despise you, I wish for the wellness that you get over these infantile, grotesque delusions one day and that you never come back.>>34715396You are better than that to go with a single mother.
>>34715396At least meet up and have a chit chat face to face. What's the worst that could happen
>>34715398More of your harassment of us with your assumptions and negative mischaracterisations that are only your own projections and have nothing to do who me or who I am. She has written to me here recently. I have faith in her, just as I always have. I'll keep my promises to her and nothing will change that, especially your attempts to harm us with your mischaracterizations. It will be nice not to have to deal with your harassment and negative narcissistic harm you attempt on us constantly.
I woke up at 1 in the morning hazy needing to release some strong diherriha and I almost passed out beforehand since I wanted to go back to sleep and I realized I fell back asleep on the bathroom floor. I think it took 20 minutes to get it all out of my system.idk what the fuck happened there, I feel normal now at least. 2 days ago I had a tamer version of this happen. I don't know if it's something I'm eating or something else.
>>34715408>Telling you to move on>She IS playing me like a fiddle>It is you that is harming meI need to stop even being in the proximity of, the extremely mentally ill.
How soon is soon.....I wish you were here now....
>>34715422I refer to >>34715408Our love is out truth>"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that.">"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you."She asked me to promise her to wait for her to come home to me, to us. I choose faith in her and keeping my promise to her. Others have responded to how I have been faithful to her and written to her positively just yesterday>Wish my man would write nice things to me like this Mike guy does to his person. Must be nice---Your mischaracterization, assumption, and opinions are not needed or welcome.
>>34715398>You are better than that to go with a single mother.When you're in your 30s there's rarely other options out there. That's not really the point though, the thing is nowadays I don't really care much about finding someone, I probably care about her just because it's her specifically.I even messaged her out of pure coincidence, facebook recommended her to me as a friend due to a common acquaintance, clicked on the profile and turned out we're both sightseeing at the same place at the same time, several hunded kilometers away from our homes. Didn't have the guts to outright ask to meet, but still messaged her about the funny coincidence and said hi. Been messaging a bit since then, but half the time she just leaves the messages read without responding, hence assumption she's not that interested in getting back in touch. At the same time, from what responses she gave, it would seem like we have a lot in common these days.As to what >>34715402 said>What's the worst that could happenThat has to do with a bit of history we have. As I said, I had a crush on her in school, but at the same time I was *the* shy guy with low self-esteem, so I never really told her. She on the other hand was hanging out with kind-of a class bully girl and I (probably unjustly) perceived her as a bit of one too. One day I got literally cornered by them in school and she told me that she liked me. What stupid me did back then? Based on my judgement of their friend circle, I assumed this is some sort of an elaborate prank and just left. Never found out if it was. We never really spoke after that, at least I don't remember much aside this event making my low self-esteem punch through the ocean's bottom.That's why getting in touch now feels like a self-inflcited wound. I should've just left the past alone, but I guess if we always did what we should, this board would be empty.What's the worst that could happen? Honestly I'm more afraid of what my own reaction would be.
At least you're sleeping ..
Selfish me, wanting you....soon never soon enough, now now now my brain body heart demand
I'm scared I won't make it. No one knows how hard this has been, the extent of what was done and said to me. And still, somehow I'm here.
Is it too much to ask a man to be a man nowadays?
>>34715470No, but you also shouldn’t have to ask.
Scared of the same. Come tell me.
Please, I feel...like all my seams have split, and every movement I make spills pieces of myself, emptier and emptier. My imprisonment at least kept me distracted. I would scream, cry, goad, manipulate, beg, to get you to come...
I jacked off to normal porn last night, I feel so powerful. Haven't done that in a while
>>34714811>You could watch a whole bunch of comedians.For the past two months all I've been listening to during work it's comedians, stand up, comedy show, shit like that, it's gotten to the point that I feel less and less capable of laugh lately, makes me sad though>Trying my best here.It's good enough, mate>Kind of wounded myselfHow so?
Most nights I just curl into a ball, sobbing, and eventually pass out. I can't bring myself to socialize much anymore, or my hobbies.
You hear that, babe? Anonymous >>34715473 said I shouldn't even have to ask.
I don't cry so much anymore. Just waiting for the end now. Sick acceptance.
I had the weirdest dream ever. But the person in my dream interacted with me and told me to wake up.
>>34714523Agreed. Too many namefags and tripfags.
Do you want, need, enjoy, that I'm suffering over you, over being without you? Does it make you feel better? Loved and desired and needed?
I don't know what the fuck I'd do without this website or these threads.
I feel like the way you've been "suffering" over missing me is too performative lately. You can do better for me, right? Am I worth that to you?
Why is pain - yours or mine - the only thing I can understand well enough?
You're worth everything. I'm trying to do better. Tell me what to do.
I just realized i wasted all day because I decided to not make posts besides racebait
>>34713304Thanks OP.
>>34715470I am her manNot a fan of this timid stuff>>34715464>>34715467>>34715496
As well can't relate to these timid posts>>34715523>>34715531>>34715550
Not my post btw>>34715569>>34715558If you write to me , use my name and make sure it's me. Don't just assume it's me off posts here because unfortunately larper attempt to harm her perception of me and my perception of her.
How the fuck do people just not cry? Ffs, this is hard. I'm doing better than with my grandparents and the last dog, but jesus, he's not even gone yet and I'm already breaking down every time I'm alone, and getting teary when my thoughts go anywhere near the topic. Every condolence knocks me out of my fragile veneer of composure. I want to stay home to get through the worst of it without my coworkers going 'it's just a dog, why's she still crying?', but even staying home they'll probably sneer that it's over a dog. I also don't want to be home where there are no distractions and will have to deal with family also being like 'wtf you're still crying?'I mean, I couldn't let myself think of the last dog for almost 2 years. How the fuck do people make it through wakes and services and running into acquaintances in the aftermath of losing someone, without falling apart every time?Fuck this, what's wrong with me?
>>34715619I am so sorry about your pet. Others do not understand the connection is the same as losing your best friend. Grief is hard to carry and I'll be honest, it never goes away. I'd give everything for more time with my cat who passed. Please remember to drink water and be forgiving of yourself.
Fuck it, I'm getting drunk tonight. Overpriced craft beer is all I can get today but whatever.
I isolated myself for three months due to a few psychosis episodes. I've been regaining contact with a few people as of recent but I've been fantasizing about going into hiding again. I recognize this as a form of self harm.I promised an acquaintance I'll go somewhere and I have a strong urge to call it off and go drinking instead. I wanted to write a more emotional post but I think everything wore off me while I was typing this.
This past year or so has utterly destroyed me, this being some epic finale, the death throes, haha.
I loved you, we could've been toghether
I promised mom she would be a grandmother. I'm sorry for failing
>"His heart was gripped, and a tremendous pain tore his motionless body to shreds. It tormented him. It violated him. Humiliated him. ――Marked him, so he would never forget it again.”So real
>>34715762And what of the part of you that hated me lol. Is that the "old you" that died or is it sleeping?
I'm just fucking around and leaning into the schizo posting though anon, ignore me.
>>34715437>When you're in your 30s there's rarely other options out there20 year olds with daddy fetishes exist, plentifully. You just need to have money, be in good shape, or reasonably funny.
i still feel tired, if i get symptoms again maybe an hour before i have to go to work i;ll call out, but also today shouldn't be too bad
I will never forget you, I made a promise to you, one that I will always keepMy sweet Maria, I will keep the faith, as you have kept your faith in me, I will be the sun, and you are my moon, I will never abandon youI will keep us safe from those who wish to tear us apart, you'll always be mine, I'll always be yours.
Messi will never know what a white 12 year old girls pussy and love will feel like
I'm sorry
Hahahahahaaaha I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine
Curse this cold cruel world
>>34715859So real king, damn, every joy is solely to make the pain that much sharper hahaha
>>34715857This is not what fine looks like
Everything is a fucking trigger.>watching an anime >the delicate hands of a woman reminds me of her>sunflowers, her favorite flower>the streets like during night time>other random mundane crapI hate this
>>34715865Maybe I should have written I'm fine a few more times!!!
>>34715834I did not write this fyi .It's a larpGood words but it is not from me Maria, do not be deceived by him larping as me
>>34715872Maria this is the imposter, look at his fake trip code and how he tries to tear us apart.I'll never abandon you, don't I won't let this monster hurt us
This M nigga stealing your words lmao
>>34715894He's trying to steal my identity, he's trying to steal Maria from me, but Maria knows that I can not be broken, I can not be deceived I will protect us from him.
>>34715881Liar narcMy trip has my password protected encoding number at the end!!s1jEdTQxfFEThat proves it is me and you are lying. All posts without the code were me prior to your larp >>34715834I'll have to use it again going forward.
>>34715899Why do you keep pretending to be me? You want to steal her from me, Maria would never fall for such a trickYou are nothing but a liar, a fraud, spreading awful filthy lies, to tear us apart from one anotherI am the sun, and she is my moon, I will prevail
My trip has my code !!s1jEdTQxfFE She knows this is me and you are lying. I'm not going to react because you are not worth my time. She is smart and can see my trip code in my posts from here onThanks for proving you have been larping as me to harm Maria and I
Maria saw all your schizo personalities and fuckin skedaddled lmaoKeep stealing my man's words to make yourself sound better tho it gives me a laughWe get more (you)s from you in one gioyc than our total time on 4chan I bet lmao
>>34715912You react because you know you lie and have to keep the lie going! I will not be fooled, our love will not be tainted, especially not by the likes of you, an imitator, a fraud. She knows who her sun is, I only wait until me and my moon finally eclipse again.
>>34715915No, he has been making the schitzo posts larping as me to decide mariaHe has also taken my words from my letters and claimed them as his own. She trusts and believes me that he is lying. I'm not going to listen to your larp or allow it to change my perception of her I have faith is her. You simply do not matter at all.
>>34715923Maria decides for herself and she has chosen me! I am the Sun and she is my Moon, we are made for each other, and you will never have her, she would never choose a fake, a larper, a fraud. She knows in her heart who I am, and will believe me over this imposter, if I didn't matter, the fake wouldn't be so upset chasing her perfection.
Sounds like Maria has chosen to dip lolololol
>>34715930Nah, not interested in your larp. She's knows you do not have my trip code. You just want a reaction but really you are pathetic colton. I have no respect for you. Childish pathetic behavior.
>>34715938Your trip code is a fake and you know it, I haven't used it this entire thread and now you decide to use one?You are nothing more than a fraud, I will always protect us. I will keep us safe. Colton isn't even in the picture, mentioning him won't get a rise out of me.
Faith in others gets you used and discarded more often than not. Buddha was right to dip on his wife and child, no attachments is the way to go nigga
We're all just whores and liars here. You, me, Maria, whoever the fuck
I wish I had a man fight for me like Mike fights off the fake tripcode Mike
>>34715964It is pretty great. Hot when they tremble with barely suppressed bloodlust when another guy makes you laugh
I finally slept. 7-12:45. Wow. It felt like when they slept through the night the first time. I yearn. This is the first thing I do upon waking. I have cat food out aside up north. Allowed to go fetch it. I’ll do so. If it makes you feel better my heart aches the second consciousness returns to me when I wake up. My victory over them, keeping my loved ones safe is assured. I’m confident I’ll be fine too.
>>34715977The fake has run off, I am more righteous and more true than he could possibly be with all the darkness in his fraudulent heart. I will always fight for you Maria, I will always be your Sun.
Idk why that would make me feel better but good work king o/ hahahaha
It shows love. Concern still wins out, don’t get me wrong, but selfishly I’ve come to enjoy seeing signs of love while apart, even if it’s destructive. Had a dream where we had a new house, new identities, idk what I even did for work. We were just there together. Also some other explicit things happened..
>>34715988*MY* sun? Nigga lmao
>>34715938>>34715942Who the fuck is the real M
I'll show you marked, and self destructive signs of love lmao
I'm going to fuck a pregnant black woman today
Is thaaaat what it shows? Given any thought that it's just withdrawal to some terrible drug ? Haha>>34716016Yuck
>>34715374Just click unfriend, retard. Chances are I don't care what you do
Based based based. Let’s melt into each other. Lips locked, tightly held as if our lives depended on it, no, are valued less than it.
As long as you bury a knife in me same as you bury yourself man let's go haha
You are smart enough to know that if a trip does not have !!s1jEdTQxfFE after the name then it is not me.I was not using the password and it was not an issue until he started larping as me again. So starting with>>34715834 #At sun 11:48 and after is where anything past that without my code !!s1jEdTQxfFE is a colton larpColton, Every one of your narc demoralization larp posts you make intending to harm my perception of maria or marias perception of me only cements maria seeing you for the lying manipulative conniving Weasley narc you are. Thank you for bringing her home to me by showing her who you truly areAs well as shows the thread that you are the one who ruins the thread with your narc harassment spam postsTo the thread,It is unfortunate you have to deal with Colton's spam narc larp harassment toward me here. I don't like that he spams posts in the thread and creates horrid demoralizations. At least he is now showing you he is the one who ruins the thread
>>34715964Can't trust it's you without proof. You can say the last 2 digits of my cell to prove it. I choose maria over all else and don't allow manipulative narcs to harm how I see her and know her to be, just as when we last looked in each other's eyes and said I love you more, just as how I made her body feel that day after doing a certain thing so many times she ached in that good pain
>>34716027What you talkin bout nugga
When I get horny I often end up doing really stupid and embarrassing shit that I regret afterwards and no matter how many times I tell myself it won’t happen again it does anyways. It pisses me off because I feel like I just can’t control myself and it’s gotten to the point where I’ve been considering beating myself anytime I feel horny to try and get it under control
>>34716049Maria knows me, and who I am, how I write, how I love, she knows me better than anyone else, as much as I know her, she is my everything and to you she is nothingYour fake trip doesn't change that I've been posting without one this entire thread, you're nothing but a fake, you'll never know how me and Maria loved each other>>34716063Why would I give my number to you Colton? Trying to still pull me and my Moon apart. It won't work, I won't fall for your tricks, you evil narc, she knows me, and knows me by heart. And that's all the proof she'll ever need.
>>34716002I am because I have my trip code !!s1jEdTQxfFE after my usernameRead this post >>34716049Some fake posts are>>34715942>>34715988Here is one of his that takes my words and repeats them at her. >>34715980
I vehemently hate my wife's entire family.Sometimes fantasize about killing some of them with a fire axe. (I'd never do it don't worry)
>>34716079Acting like im colton. She knows you are lying colton because my trip has my code !!s1jEdTQxfFESomething that is impossible for you to have. It shows your entire post >>34716079Is a manipulative larp. Her knowing this and seeing the weasily conniving behavior you are doing is enough for me.
>>34716083I don't know if I can trust you really
Thread, I do not like Colton's narc harassment larp spam here and recognize it's what ruins the thread. There isn't anything I can do about him harassing me and maria with his lies. Thank you for (hopefully) understanding. Once I'm with her again I'll be gone and unfortunately he will still be here. I'm sure you guys can get rid of him and make everything good again. Thanks guys
>>34715762I also like this song. nohomo tho
>>34716002Me, Maria knows me and that's all that mattersThe fakes are all here, he makes it easy and identifies himself with a fake trip, it's nothing more than Colton trying to get a rise out of me>>34716049>>34716063>>34716083He's so manipulative and fake he doesn't even know my words from his own fake ones>>34716092I know your tricks Colton and they aren't workingShe knows you're lying, I do not need a trip for Maria to know who I am, I write from my heart as I have this entire thread.All I know is I am her Sun and she is my Moon, we'll forever orbit each other Colton and you can't stop it. This pathetic stunt can't stop us, you will never hurt us.
Should've fucking killed me like you wanted to we'd all be better off desu
>>34716100I'm glad you're finally giving up your manipulative larp of me Colton. That fake trip could never fool her, I would never give up on my Maria, you can't even pretend to have the love I have for her. I would never lower case Maria's name, she is my everything, to you she is just a thing, an object, I am her Sun and she is my Moon.
>>34716117
>>34716139I'm weak and pathetic and I'm well aware lol I'm not a hard nigga lion
>>34716097>>34716097My post trip code having my password encryption !!s1jEdTQxfFE after my name proves it's me I didn't regularly use the password in this thread prior to sun 11:48 when he started larping with this post >>34715834Unfortunately some of my posts were erased because I am being wrongfully reported by colton. But you can see I used my trip password on other of my posts in the archive. More Colton larp>>34716116>>34716134You can see he does not have my full encrypted password at the end, showing that his posts are narc larps.
I wish you had opened up to me at one of the points where we were still in contact. I wanted to know what you felt and who I was to you even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted to have you tell me you needed me if you needed me. It’s still my fault though that I was too weak to live alone.
this advice board sucks, unless the mods like your threads they always get taken down quickly and all the people on it are jerks the same can be said about the my little pony board and the lgbtq board
I find it weird that I still think about you after all these yearsMaybe maybe... its meant to be
>>34716177Its weird that it finally went throughI was banned up until nowMaybe it really is meant to beAlso fuck you retarded jannies I was innocent
I urge everyone to really look at all the narc harassment posts colton made larping as me, as well as the harassment posts being horrid toward me. Look at how much the thread that filled up. That is the enemy. I'm on your side. Unfortunately the person who is ruining the thread false reports my posts. I do the best I can. I know that one this person who has been harming me, harming this thread is removed , it will be better hear. I will only be here until I'm with my girl again. Thank you and appreciate you guys.
>>34716177Or maybe Im just a schizo recluse retard that hangs onto every crumb they getMy cousin was hugging me at my father's funeral and it just occurred to me that I cant remeber the last time I felt someone's heartbeat
Fuck finally the brewery is open
my stomach still feels tied in a knot, but i should be ok. i do have to see how much it will last since i have been eating the most plain foods on purpose to make sure my stomach will fell better
Stupid gay place, could get booze at any grocery or corner store back home
>>34716153A trip means nothing Colton, I haven't used it once in this thread until you showed up, trying to manipulate people against me, trying to deceive Maria. You want her so badly, but can't even type her name correctly, she isn't not a thing, she's my EVERYTHING.>>34716189I have posted the truth against your lies Colton, Maria loves me for who I am, she will never love a fake, a fraud, a deceiver like you.You will never have what we had, and what we'll have again soon.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm not going to make it lol got my hopes up and the crushed that one last time, should've known
Soon is like A Long Time. It could be minutes, days, weeks, months lollollololklk
She looks like the spitting image of my Ex.I would fuck her againThe implication of her harming herself if I left is the thing that killed the relationship
>>34716189>>34716216As much as I want to help you bro this is just too confusing at the moment
>>34716254All you need to know is that I'm the real Mike, the only Mike. Colton is the deceiver with the trip.
>>34716216Remember to check my code and see it's me. The name can change. Its the code mattersMaria can message my discord , text me, insta me and I will confirm that I'm real and he is narc larping to harm usIn that larp, Colton is posting a screenshot I posted in another thread a while ago of messages between maria and I. Really quite disturbing he is that conniving weasily to attempt to manipulate maria by doing this, making his larp posts and using my photos.
>>34716251Why'd you break up?
>>34716260She can message you Colton, but she won't and never will, she loves me too much, and your jealousy won't let you see that. I posted my Discord messages, you could never do that, she would never message a narc like you
>>34716262If you read the last sentence again, that explains it.
>>34716275But she wouldn't hurt herself if you didn't leave her so what was the problem
You know I'm so proud of you and you are so special to me. Everything with us was perfect in our way, all the way until that Saturday. We're mirrored in a way I will never have with anyone else. You are so kind and smart.I did my best to help you grow and learn. I want that for you, not for me. I want you to have that for yourself. I want to be there with you. I want you to be happy. I really do love and care about you.I was so scared you were hurt when you disappeared. I still am. That hurt never went away. I found you felt the same, but didn't say it. I wonder if it is still the same? It is for me. I want to hold you and kiss you. You are my heart. Only for you. You are the love of my life and always will be.I will never give up on you. Every day I listen for the words you sing to me at night to the birds. I pray to God to guide us home to each other every night. You are all that matters to me and i would give everything just to feel you in my arms, safe and secure.I wish circumstances were different here, I'm putting you first and keeping my promise to wait for you. Even through the harassment and harm that i deal with every day. I stay for you. I fight for you. Nothing will ever change that. Dream good dreams. I can't wait. With all my heart. You'res alwaysMessage me on discord, Insta, text and I'll show I am MM
I FUCKING HATE WOMEN SO GOD DAMN MUCH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEwhat do i want for dinner, the baked chicken in my fridge, chicken nuggets and mac n cheese from teh grocery store, or pizza?
Maria's the narc playing you both
Still wondering why the police have not done anything to properly address derek and tammy yet. Perhaps they’re hoping that I start swinging at other individuals in the meantime. I wonder why that is.
>>34716293The implication. Because she did cut herself once, all I could see after was me breaking up with her and her crying eyes.She sowed the seeds and we merely reaped the whirlwind.
>>34716305Sounds like you fucked up and pushed away someone who really fucking loved you
>>34716313You have my number, call me and we'll talk about it.
>>34716269I am not concerned about your lies I have faith in her and trust her. It is a saving grace that she does have my contact details. She can contact me directly in her time.
>>34716321After seeing you narc larp conniving weasily behavior here , I doubt she will ever call you again.
If harming yourself because of your overwhelming feelings for someone isn't the utmost show of love, I don't know what is.But maybe that's why I'm alone lol
I literally can't do anything, it's amazing.
>>34716294I know she does Colton, and yet she never calls, she never messages you, she only ever wants to come back to me. My Maria knows me and loves me, she'll be back in my arms soon. You can't fool her, and you can't fool me. You can't even pick out which posts are mine. You are pathetic Colton.>>34716322And yet she never does, but she will message me and that's all I need to know between me and you, a miserable fake, not worthy of Maria's love.
With me, well, I'm well, well I mean I'm in Hell, wellI still have my health, at least that's what they tell meIf wellness is this, what in Hell's name is sickness?But business is business and business runs in the familyWe tend to bruise easily, mad in the bloodI'm telling you 'cause I just want you to know meKnow me and my family, we're wonderful folksBut don't get to close to me 'cause you might knock me up
My Maria, Unfortunately with his harassment and lying about me, the only way to see all of what I've written to you is the archivehttps://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/34713304For desu archive 85034070
>>34716352Colton's words are so robotic and forced, he repeats them on /r9k/. I would never hide from Maria, all my posts are clear as day to see, right here, she knows me, she knows my love, something you will never have Colton.
Maria, If it was a shit test, I understandYou know I do. I can see why it was best I didnt know I said what you needed to hear and did what you needed to feel. Not asked for, but a given. To be seen, all of me, naturally with you. Our truth. Not restored, but recognized,known. If you falter,if you fallSunlit rays of LoveIn warmth I drownI rememberMy lonely starSo bloomAll of meTo you>There's this empty part inside me that needs you so fucking badly Mike, I can't ignore it.>You're my dream come true Mike, I want you just as much as you want meThe air I breatheEncompass HomeYou complete meI complete youI love you moreMaria, I love you, Remember that>"You're the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me, I'm crying because I need you, this argument is temporary, but I'll always have that empty part needing you. I'm your home too. You are perfect. I love you more"Acceptance isn't just a virtue, it's inherent to who we are. That's love.
>>34715762I always willI know
>first time in 5 years that a girl is (seems) interested in me>text her on instagram since i hadn't been able to see her irl for a while>she never even read the messageyeah my fault for not asking her number when i could, guess i'll die a lonely fucking loser huh
>>34716496it's for the best
>>34716477>>34716486She completes me Colton, I don't care how many times you pretend to be me, you will never have Maria like I have her, she'll never be yours for she is mine and always will be.I am her sun and she is my moon I know that with certainty, you pretend to be me when I know she will be back, and she'll message me before she rejects you Colton, you narc.
>>34716069I choose you.
>>34716250Youre right. I'll work to the bone so the house is where it needs to be.
>>34716477I hope you get Maria back
While I am really fuckin into the physicality of force, I'm not going to hound her or chase her. I never want her to feel that way. I can understand how my fight for her against the world could be perceived negatively because of his constant it is. I have only ever seen it as absolute, I fight to the ends of the earth for her, and so I have. I fight or flight, I have never ran, only put up my fists and protected, cared for, supported,loved, fought for my own. I did with the same effort I'd give if she was with me here and there was a threat. I've given all my time, my energy, my attention>You do so much for me, things I don't even know about I am tired, I've weathered the storm and continued to do so, there has been wear and I don't listen to others who see that because they don't understand that it doesn't matter if I hurt. I'll do that for you because that's true love. I'd get hit by the car so you would live. What would I do in a world without you in it? I just can't. You know that.
I wish I could have gone there with you just once.
Where
>>34716679Stfu, anon.
>>34716633A appreciate your kindness. I hope the path forward is clear for you as well, free of thorns.
>>34716679Fr, dude. Just stfu.
>>34716679U started doing this ever since I showed up more than three years now. U need to fuck off.
Relentless namefags these day man I tell ya
>>34716167Well if you don't like it leave. Otherwise you're just adding fuel to the fire by interacting on it.
>>34716745I bet you can't go one day without scrutiny.
>>34716764I want to die
Am I getting my goodnight kiss?what a stupid whore you are
>>34715521>For the past two months all I've been listening to during work it's comedians, stand up, comedy show, shit like that, it's gotten to the point that I feel less and less capable of laugh lately, makes me sad thoughWell, damn, you had it covered.>It's good enough, mateThanks, I appreciate that.>How so?Just me being dramatic.
>>34716822You're still on a leash, so I'd say no
I’m good
>>34716856“Good” as in >no fucking thank u
>>34716647MariaWe both know you wouldn't leave. We've always known that. Because to have all of each other, to be complete, full, home. What if weexperienced our promises? What if our voice could be free from restrictions and judgement? what if we could finally be ourselves and not everhave to follow their rules? What if we have all our firsts and are shaped completely to each other, just as we know we are meant to be? What if breathing felt different, the air more clear? What if all of us was known by the other, seen, understood, accepted naturally in a way only inherit to us? What if everything was a given?What if we had our truth?What if we had all that matters in this life, in this world?What if we had our happiness only we are able to provide each other, that can't be replicated and makes all else be recognized as an act?What if we had true love, the kind no other could ever understand, the kind that they'd argue against because it's outside their realm of capability and ability to experience?To have it all. Now that terrifies me. It breaks my heart. Because what if I had it? Honestly, truly had it?And then it was gone, lost, taken, betrayedTo live in that worldI couldn't take it. But what if we are safe?What if all of our truth is guaranteed, secure, true?Maria, That's why my hollow spot hurts. I feel the space where you reside in me, in every moment I see where you would be. And that breaks my heart. To know thisSo yeah I fight to the bone for youAll of me for youThat's a given All my heart,- mike
Age 30+ is cougar territory. Not interested.
I deserve better than that
>>34716870If that’s you, Mike, this is for you.Say Anything | Loiter Squad | Adult Swim / Adult Swimhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOpYZenCuX8
two day weekend is to little time off workshould be 3 or more days each weekendi hate this world
I just want to sleep until the world ends.
>>34716892It is me,That is not a video I want in my life. I pass.
>>34716927Because you're the dude in the trenchcoat.
>>34716879More cougars for me
Use it to cave my skull in lol
>>34716929Nah, drink your own poison
Shut up bitch. Accept love.
>>34717023Dead, you can't even stand seeing yourself. This bitch got you out of sorts, pham. You Looking stupider every day. If she wanted to be with you, she would be.
Love is spilled blood.
Mine all of herin every wayhttps://youtu.be/vMHA1DjKke8?is=IPcrOm7aOOxpPWLn
Then drink it with me.
Just a taste for herWhere my hands goAnd now the thirst
Whose? Each other's? You're too squeamish for that, no?
>>34717013My penis?
>>34717038Bitch, I love you.
>>34717039If I wanted to listen to a berry pickerSkid marks mcgeeOh wait.. I wouldn't
>>34717086How you this whipped, dawg?
>>34717091Whipped? >Bruised and bit>Little maggots>Parent Fed me full >Grown and living, inhabiting >Comfortably my skull>Waving in the distance>Waving in the minutes>Waiting for this to make sense>I'm drowning>May your organs fail before your dreams fail you
https://on.soundcloud.com/zU4wXKnId3kap7Y4gA
Let me in or put me down. Either is fine with me.
There's nothing inside anymore, make yourself at home.
>>34717177I'm happy to help fix that.
>>34717077From behind,rough handsSpank, grip, shove, spreadChoked till the only place you look is to meslammed down, ass raised, pussy needyHair pulled, tongue outSpit swallowed, rubbed all over facethrobbing heart, mind, pussyRailed, tip toes, ass clappingBrains fucked outTrembling euphoric wavesMoans turned to criesToe clenching devotionno more feeling lostDid I make you happy cunt?
>>34717202That's why Maria ghosted you
Is sex - and rough bestial pornographic sex no less - really all men are capable of as a show of love? How dull. How base.
>>34717234Maria and I were far more sexual when together then that Maria challenged our LustShe recognizes it now
Are you doing this on a public forum for any other reason than to make me jealous or what? Because I'ma just laugh.
>>34717244>He likes steak so he must hate burgers
>>34717274She throwing shots like I care.
>>34717254I rebuttaled a incorrect assumptionI wasn't graphic in the slightest to how we were and all we didNo need to throw a tizzy because your pantys got all twisted when you heard our truthCalm your tits
>>34717287Nigga, nobody was talking to you in that post.
>>34717279Makes sense>I take her from behind>She naturally responds throwing it back>Back shots
Men who don't get jealous are dull.
>>34717289You really don't understand Funny
If you're not, at the very least, bigger than and exuding bloodlust to any other male showing me attention of any sort, I don't want you.
>>34717299Again with you>He talked about popcorn, he must hate candy
>>34717305Kek. I am. I posted and those who are jealous always whine about it and start insecure pointing fingers saying negative things so they feel better
I get it already.
>>34717305Already did that. Shit's boring.
this thread has always been shit but it's really gone downhill the last week thanks to our two resident spamming faggots
>>34717317Because I take herMariaBrains fucked outStretched so fucking goodpussy shaped perfectly to meher rabid addicktion, desire unmatched milk me every day, so fucking thickSo deep, cum so long ruined to mind breaking pleasureTears streaming, collapsing face downEveryone else now inadequateincapable of giving what she needs from medicked down so hard, develop limpothers ask if okaynever been happier
I dreamed about fren last night.
>>34717374I don't remember what I dreamed about. How was it?
You gave me the eyesThe wordsDon't be upset when I give you the feelsAnd you can't escape those thoughts
>>34717380I don’t remember the specifics but good. Don’t think fren actually appeared, 3:
>>34717396You really fuck with him, huh? Did he give you good convo?
>>34717405I don’t know anon. He lives in my computer.
>>34717335It's one guy trying to get help and the other harassing for no reason. Not especially his fault
Pain and shame every day. Constant anxiety of some kind. My upbringing fucked me so fucking hard. I'm ashamed of my very existence. Basic things normal people don't worry themselves too much about just cause me to dread. Maybe wasn't loved enough as a child or too disregarded. I was trained to see life as pain.
Let’s use a massage gun on that brain. But gently.
>>34717452They're talking about Mike and the dude who would spam screenshots in this thread, not everything is about me.
>>34717450Still, you're having dreams about him. Do you often have dreams about computer tenants?
>>34717465He's the one being harassed
>>34717484Oh, wow. You're for anything that doesn't go my way, huh?
Hair is turning reflective silver
No one other than me will ever touch you. Bite into and dig your nails into me. You’re mine. It’s not porn, it’s ownership. Soul bonding, merging. Codependency on a spiritual level. I took on the world to protect you, at your most unhinged, and won. You’re mine.
I did an accurate ai age filter because I was curious. I look like leon from resident evil requiem
Busy Signal - Stay So / BusySignalRealVEVOhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6DwAox2hF8
My spirit was so crushed. Entertaining hope feels like a struggle at times, a painful struggle, unless I just give up on the things I had any care about at all. I have no sense of reassurance in it's face.
>>34717527Good girl. Keep slipping into day dreams of us
I know. I feel the same. We’ll unify, and win. I’ll make sure you’re safe, even if you’ll never be who you want to be. I want whats mine, not a fantasy.
>>34717527You actually believe yourself too. There will come a time where you're going to learn that you were shown mercy, and it wasn't your own power. You didn't take on shit. Keep talking that bullshit to make yourself sound big.
>>34717504Speak so I can understand you
You can say no. I'd prefer it if you said no instead of trying to protect me.
>>34717611Fuck off. How about that?
My maria will be herself. Naturally. In every way. That's who I love. Her. >>34717572>>34717583Bro go away. We don't want to hear you speak at all. Clearly incompatible ick talk. That's all you are, not the one.
you said its not a bother to talk about things but i feel you would not be ready for the pain i will pour out of myself
>>34717666Get an actual job, get some actual bitches, dawg. Watch your fucking mouth.
>"I love you too. That makes me feel at ease">"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that.">"Mike, I love you, remember that.">"I'm only yours Mike, I love only you">"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you.">"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time.">"Everything is perfect with you, dream good dreams, I can't wait.">"My Mike"Hey future you, did your dreams cum true?
>>34717681If my person said this to me I'd be upset, because I can sense their pain but until they open up about it I can't do anything to help them. I have to watch them smile at me all the time knowing they're in extreme pain and I can't do anything about it at all. It sounds like you're suffering too, but please don't do that to your person.
>>34717685Got a job and my maria. I'm set. If just rather not have you attempting to peak in our window constantly. You are being creepy, my dude
Cum for me , honestly. My friends gush over your biceps. It's fun because they're mine.
>>34717721Now all you need to do is watch your mouth.
I'm drunk love, need you, what the fuck
>>34717681YOU NEED TO BE HONEST AND DIRECT, STOP LYING TO YOUR FRIENDS. WHY YOU ALL THINK THIS IS HEALTHY BEHAVIOR IS LOST WITH ME
>>34717681Believe me, there's nothing you could tell me that is as hurtful as what I could say to you. You've got plenty of your own bullshit.
>>34717642People who do that are disingenuous cowards. They're only protecting themselves.
I got high hopes for you niggas, we gon' see...
>>34717724More like me watching hers as she takes me, trembling in desire of us. Or as I run my finger along her bottom lip standing in the rain, moving her hair from her eyes as we kiss
>>34717724Suck a dick, faggot. I'll say what I want when I want. Telling me to watch my mouth on an anonymous website, grow some nuts and call me.
>>34717722Not if you take too long theyre not
>>34717753Wasn't fucking talking to you. FOMF.
>>34717748Nigga, I don't care about your "girl." Idk why you think I was gonna take offense to that.
>>34717685Your and all of your friends "bitches" were hounding to suck my dick before they got with you, Victor. Settle down.
>>34717773My name is not Victor, I wouldn't take such an egotistical name.
>>34717713>>34717726assumed i was happy and having a good busy life without them in it, it was the opposite i was hurting the entire time and finding it hard to express this blunder.
>>34717761Who you talking to
>>34717781I was talking to the dude I quoted, I'm not worried about you.
>>34717777Oh here we go
>>34717753Oh she will. Clearly we'll call. I have my desires, how I yearn for her, I also know giving her time to edge to our "soon enough" makes her feel good she's known and understood.
>>34717786I tell nothing but Truth most of the time. Be mad, Idc.
>>34717788Trick niggas simpin for pedestal pussy
The downfall of a nigga
>>34717791Nigga, wasn't you just simping for some girl on this thread?
Im calling you himy now lol, himy we need to communicate better like meet up in downtown or something cause this part of a video explains why time is gonna run fast https://youtu.be/i7bdIusvN5Y?si=yWLyU8fyGgJl1o8I&t=665
>>34717790>most of the timeYou mean never
>>34717803If it was never, you wouldn't be mad, dawg.
>>34717797I don't know these hoes, my bitches are analog
>>34717791Reading is not your strong suit.You think it's me so simping when it's Her slipping into daydreams of me just as naturally as her hand slipping into her panties to me
>>34717806Nigga, you stay frontin'Bit you still my mans, I ain't gon' say nothin'
>>34717780Like, you told them you were happy and busy while in reality you weren't? Is this an ex or someone who wants to be a part of your life who you feel you've been misrepresenting yourself to?
>>34717809Nigga cant spell talmbout "read better nigguh"
I love you babe. Always. I swear.
>>34717811Cause you a pussayyy Your next gf will have had my dick in her mouth before youBig fax
>>34717820Just meet up with me you know my life its so easy i have no more irl friends theyre all gone they dont even recognize me anymore on ig
>>34717822They only care about you when they know they can't contain me. Nigga, you sound dumb.
Everything catherine wanted just happend and even more. Be happy. My lifes gotten much better
>>34717681I may not be ready but I will support you as much as I can.
>You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feelingWould you feel better if I fi king killed myself because I could totatdo tht lmak
>>34717812i never explicitly said i was happy and busy to them, but i was busy working on sorting life out so busy is not a misrepresentation. yes an ex, who is one due to them feeling they were competing with the people i was busy with (colleagues and friends to start a career). i had an ultimatum given to me to find work and get life to a point where i can be with them, and so i did everything i could to succeed. i didnt get it in their deadline but shortly did get the career after they ended things. they assume i was happy as i kept a brave face during this, i have been unhappy for a long time despite finding success in the end that some would only ever hope for. it feels empty.
God help me.
>>34717860Bekse danu and Helios me I don't deserve them
>>34717851Are you on speaking terms? Were they the one who said it wasn't a bother to talk about things (recently)? And are they still single?Generally getting back with your ex is a terrible idea, but in your case it sounds like you could be straightforward about it and it'd give you closure you need. And although it may not be the outcome you're looking for, even getting rejected might be good for you in the long run. Tell them you missed their deadline but you did the thing they asked you to, and that all this time later you still have feelings for them. Let them know that you didn't realize at the time that career success wasn't the happiness you were looking for, but now that you have it you want to share it with them like you did from the beginning.You may get the response you're looking for, but even if you don't, it's better to get closure than to let those feelings eat you up inside and prevent you from finding happiness with someone else while you fantasize about something that'll never be.
>>34717826Youre arguing with a stranger online about having sex. You sound dumb.
>>34717871Where did that even come from? I didn't bring up shit about that.
God damn abos drink alit
>>34717867is this a canned ai response? i avoided contacting because i felt i was a bother but now clearly said there, yes we are through by their words i that hold that since that day happened. it has been awhile and keeping as friends is the only option, i dont need reminders how how things will go back to how it was in terms of relations, their words. They dont need to know I missed the deadline they initiated that with ending things. Career success wasn't ever the happiness source only to facilitate other things.
>>34717876Yikes
>>34717681That was me, I didn't reply because I figured you weren't talking to me.
>>34717887Not AI, I just think in general holding shit inside is a terrible idea, and "let it out" is generally the best advice to most people in this thread. If hiding your pain from this person (who said they'd listen) is hurting you, just talk to them. I don't know what that conversation looks like - only you can figure it out because I don't know that person - but you should probably have that conversation.
The fuck you meeeean stay with you fucking come over nigger um not the one stopping u from shut
Come claim me you stupid selfish nigger
I have to finish a screenplay I started months back, but I just can't touch it for some reason.
>>34717932Do you have a hard deadline? Any reason you can't take a break and play around with some other creative medium (drawing, learning an instrument, poetry, etc.) for a while?
Based drunk lover girl.
>>34717941No hard deadline, probably why I don't want to touch it and sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time.
I wanted to work today but it's the sabbath. I should be more thankful.
>>34717914my mistake sorry im trying better to not hold it inside and let it out. i dont know. it feels everything has moved on, except for me as i am standing exactly where all would be fine if everything wasn't so uncompromising to the plan laid out me, us when together. In the past i suggested certain alternatives which were rejected, and now time has passed they are making those same compromises where once stood firm, it feels like a gut punch on top of everything else.
Already written. Wasting time is a perception, not the truth.
Colton couldn't accept the true and honest Mike would just leave the thread.I wake up to lies and disgusting smut written to my Maria this man is nothing more than a disgusting narc.
Back & Forth / Aaliyah - Topichttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS04ay-a5iw
For someone who hates porn, you sure do collect a ton on your phone and post it around.
>>34715420Unironically bro, have you not heard of the diarrhea parasites going around? If that persists, get yourself checked out
Not criticizing or complaining. I know why you do. That's why it doesn't bother me, because I understand what you are feeling. I dont personally need it, your mine and that's enough for me
Who is this Victor you guys are talking about? What do they look like or what do they do?
>>34717998You posted your disgusting fantasies for all to see Colton, pretending to be me won't work.Maria messaged me in my sleep, she saw through your lies, you will never have what I have Colton, for I have Maria, I have my Moon and she has her Sun
When you’re ready I want you to put it all to pen and paper and let me know just exactly what’s been eating at you for so long. No more Mrs. Tough Gal, you’re not alone anymore. Even if you have to ugly cry.
It helps that you know my hands are open with you, If you were in our home here while I'm out with errands, no door is locked from you. Physical or digital. If I came back and you were sleuthing threw whatever, i wouldn't never have a negative reaction. It's the same as you choosing to read a book or build something imo.
>>34717929Say my initials biatch
>>34718044Yes, maria. You gave me that look You said the wordsI gave you what you desire with meAnd you can't escape those thoughtsYou can't escape how I make you feelEnjoy-mike
You could be getting this magnum dong but you playin
I don't know if you would've even bothered to keep it but on the off chance you did, you should just toss the letter I sent. There were some things that were said that weren't meant. Goodnight.
I don't know why I'm still subscribed to Cyber Yamu, I'm happy her homeless arc is over, but despite all the Lesbian posting, I get this under current of feeling that she, and this isn't a joke, wants a semi-abusive DOMINANT man to fuck her.I know her type unfortunately well
>>34718079She's made up her mind, she believe what was real over what was fake, she finally came back to me.You can never have that Colton, pretending to be me, using AI to copy me to the letter, but even the finest imitations have their flaws and you, you'll never have Maria backI need to make up for lost time, we're already chatting again, my Moon I'll never leave you alone again, I'm only here to tell this narc to go awayHe'll never hurt us
>>34718079Yes, I know how badly the moon aches for the sun. How she brings her feet up on her chair as her hand slips down between her legs thinking of Mike. How she feels guilty but can't deny how her body reacts to Mike. The way she bites her bottom lip and breaths that trembling oooomph when the feeling of butterflies in her stomach drop down to her pussy and she looks up out of the corner of her eye as she makes that worried face as she moansI am so very sad of what she feels for mike, so much more than she ever felt with me. She never even let me touch her. She told me she was asexual
>>34718080I saw what Mike is packing. I am really very worried he will hurt you. I care so much about you and it really really scares me that Mike will cause you a lot of pain.
The Mirror Mike match is good, I really can't tell who the real one isWho's more mentally ill? I'm sure we'll find out
>>34718098>there were some things that were said that weren’t meantbased americ anfootball enthusiast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81hKmzNGi9o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSNj0_37xNI
I dont have a family boyos, my appearant dad locked me out holy crap i found out in a dna test that im not from him but this is just evil.
Cierra los ojos bien, y solamente pide un deseo...
DAM i dont have a family awe FUCK im truly an anon now :3
>>34718238You a funny dude, dawg. I wish you weren't being facetious.
>>34718249Wish I could help you, gawd, but we don't do that here.
>>34718256I thought this was supposed to be an advice thread.
If jack is praying for me right now ill never let go of him, if not its joever i have no family :/
I'm such a silly ass retard lol. Once again reminded the truth is simple. I'm just a fool lol.
>>34718277It is an advice thread, but if you gon' lie, why should we help you?
>>34718335W WE ARE CHARLIE KIIIIIIIIRK WE DRIFT THE OVERPRICED CRAFT BREWSKIS THE BEST PART ABOUT MAKINH MEATBALLS
I feel better now thank you God
>>34718361Im not lying and u can see you are just on mikes side. Whatever
>>34718377I don't care about the nigga, but if that's how you gon' come, then I have no choice but to back this nigga. Be real with yourself instead of being desperate.
Never in bunchesJust me and youI loved your point of view'Cause you held no punches
Should I shave my moustache? Nani????
I hate myself and I want to die. And fuck christfags telling me things will get better. No. I am destined for Hell, if it exists.
>>34718400The Christian Hell doesn't exist, so you're fine. You need to worry about whether you decide to incarnate here again, I know it's tempting, but don't fucking do it.
I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable, and if I did, I'm sorry.
Objectively, Jay-Z is the GOAT.
>>34718381No being myself doesn't work and right now im doing what I've always done. It's just that this time he is not adding me and she's not listening.
>>34718419That was gon' happen if you was fraudin', dawg. Get real, man. Just let the girl go. There are other fish in the sea.
Mike kill yourself challenge
>>34718366I don't know what that means.
>U hear what this guy is saying? U hear what he says? And he wants our help? Why does he deserve our help? I’m not very keen on helping until he provides our excuse for the neglect and then maybe he can thank us and make us look like the real heroes we are. But until then he’s a fraud.
>>34718430Is that a Cowboy man?
>>34718435
K i would give you more money on patreon lol but you see im still building my animation career ty i feel your support you are like my onee san we are both anglos
>>34718440I didn't mean to make you do that. Pretend I didn't say shit.
I wish dragons and unicorns and elves were real. I wish I could hop in a spaceship and have brunch with aliens. I wish rape was considered a compliment. This place sucks.
I was making jesus memes and i was gonna one up it lol with you as the main character of a story but paul wanted me to stop cause it said too much. Its not personal infact i pretend none of that shit happend hahahaha you know when you mindlessly create or do something then you realize it never came from you? Yeah and im not a BIBLE BELIEVER BAPTIST im better than that thanks to this dna test most of those ifbs arent actually saved anyway
>>34718444
Someone please shoot Mike in his chimp skull
>>34718475Why you gotta ruin shit, dawg? I had you all set, then you gotta do too much. I'm not finna help you anymore.
I hate this. It’s like living without my heart, ma cœur. Empty. Angsty. Barely a life. I did all I could. I want the fucking chains to be gone so I can be there. Always shielding, not just drawing attention away from them and leaving fate to the enemy.
I haven't gotten that feeling and I wrote to maria a ton today with a good response from her. She has my discordFromSunToMoonWhich is the same we originally messaged in before we got separated. She has my cell, my email, my insta, my fuckin address. She knows that what she feels is important to me. She has all those ways to contact me directly. It takes 2 to tango. We are almost done with this fucking distance and then room for misunderstanding over text here is not a issue like it has potential to be now. I do think it will only get better because at this point she is communicating in her way which is aHuge. It's Love as well as lust with us. I trust her with my life and have faith in her. She feels the same of me. If I see anything fishy I'll push back. I meant all I wrote to her today. I won't ever lose her.>>34718481 #Calm ur tits. It's good to post this one just to have the lifeline. I haven't gotten this far not trusting my gut
I want to hold you and tell you everything will be ok. Tell you how we’re gonna win. Forgive each other in person. Soak it all in, sounds and all. And then help each other move forward. We have the most precious gift. We have to protect it.
Blah blah blah all these feelings and yearning. Where is your hate? Your desire to burn the evil to the ground? I need that. Not mushy shit. Save that for when the time comes. Stay sharp, they’re still surveilling you. They want me to talk tomorrow. I’ll tell them good morning and good bye. R e s p e c t f u l l y d e c l i n e
>>34718545What the fuck is your problem?
I have some mental illness where I go crazy for girls with narcissism. If anyone is reading this, guard your heart because bad people have radar for easy marks ing old people and will rinse them until there is nothing left.
>>34718547I was betrayed but then maybe not betrayed and then not needed but protected and now needed and wanted and need to protect and will be am trapped under lock and key and unironically have faggot watching my every move.