What should I do if I'm ever in a situation where I'm sleeping and a lion appears and attacks me?
>>34718280Why do you keep telling people to kill themselves in every single thread? It's like the sixth time I've seen you do this. Are you okay? You need help or something?
>>34718274Go for the nuts and eyes.
>>34718342Seek help, dude. You're not mentally stable.
You sleep surrounded by anti-lion embankments. The lions aren't getting past an electronic fence
>>34718274First of all, it will be a lioness - they do all the hunting, not the males. Second, "hunting" is the key - they chase down a fleeing prey, they don't attack sleeping animals. You have more to fear from a starving house cat.
>>34718274If you're with someone else, run. You don't have to run faster than the lion, just faster than your friend.
>>34718660>they chase down a fleeing prey, they don't attack sleeping animalsthat's a mind fuck man I'd still run like hell cause I'm scared
>>34718487This. Prevention is better than defense.That said, mobility is the key to warefare. Setting up defensive positions is kind of asking for it here since the lions could invent technology/strategies that either defeat anon’s defenses or worse, render them completely irrelevant.Anon should be ready to run at all times. Maybe develop a spring loaded bed that will tilt and rocket him into running position. Maybe the bed springs up and launches anon onto a nice 4-Wheeler since he probably won’t run so well having just awoken.
>>34718660You’re the kind of cad who says that sharks mistake surfboards for seals, as if giving a fuck ever crossed its mind.
>>34718986>the lions could invent technologyI'm sorry what? You lost me. Are animals as intelligent as humans now?
>>34719044I truly thought we were writing absurdist humor here. When the fuck does this kind of thing ever happen, you know? It’s not like OP said he was going to backpack through Africa.I might not be very funny but that was the intention
>>34719055lol I am the OP... lol I didn't catch your sarcasm at first but I see it now!!!>Maybe develop a spring loaded bed that will tilt and rocket him into running position.LOL I see it now xDlol look man, I'm just brainstorming worst case scenarios. You never know if this shit will happen. Like I mean what if a lion escapes from a zoo and finds you while you're sleeping in the nearby park.Years ago I was sleeping in my apartment and I woke up to a fucking fire right outside my door cause some bitch was trying to kill her ex boyfriend in the apartment next to me. The entire building burned down to the ground.nigga I wanna be prepared man lol
>>34719215Well, what does your fire safety look like? Do you have a fire extinguisher and know how to use it? Do you have a means of escape from your apartment if the door is blocked?I mean, worrying about the lion is fine but surely it comes after fire and home defense in general.
>>34719227That apartment I lived in had no sprinkler system. No smoke detectors. No fire extinguishers. No nothing. And I was on the second floor.
>>34719233That’s fucking brutal. I’d at least get one of those ladders you can roll out a window if I lived in one. Shit, that’s a good idea even if you live in a two story house. Fire can block your stairs.Anyway, back to your original question: maybe try a spear? African dudes seem to use those with good success. Probably serves a nice purpose as a home defense weapon too. Nobody’s going to expect a fucking spear.
>>34719247>I’d at least get one of those ladders you can roll out a window if I lived in one.You know what, that would have been great to have cause I basically just had to jump out the window. Lucky I didn't break my ankle.>Fire can block your stairs.That's where she started the fire. The entire hallway was in flames.The apartment I live in now has smoke detectors all over the place. And fire extinguishers. No sprinklers system though. It's an old building. I'm gonna move the fuck outta here as soon as I can to a modern building.
>>34718274that's why you wear a spike suit
>>34719464Cactusmaxxing is a valid nature strategy, as an apex predator I don't want to go anywhere near a spiky ass plant let alone eat it.
>>34719464>>34719507
