I am a difficult man. I don't know what I want more: to feel loved or to no longer feel the need for it. If not for that, I wouldn't even feel pathetic about myself, if I had actually embraced my detachment and separateness from these things, from these human needs.I deeply want to love and be loved, but I think I am incapable of both, and undeserving of both due to my incapability and incompleteness, so I resent it. I hate to inflict it on others.I can't have a relationship, I can't even have friends because it always leads me to the same spirals, I have to let that part of me atrophy. And what if it doesn't? I have faith that it will, that’s why I keep shutting myself off. But it’s only half-faith, and it means nothing; perhaps it will persist.
I hope you're not the same guy that opened similar threads hereyou should stop searching for reassurance remember that you tend to be what you think you are
>>34720492I am sorry you feel this way, and I hope you can feel better soon.
>>34720499I am not, this is my first thread in months. I do not come to this board very often.>>34720504Thank you for your anonymous condolences, but it's wasted on someone like me.
>>34720492It's not possible to genuinely love until you've become detached. Love from attachment is selfish, whereas true love is by nature selfless.
>>34721140It hurts
>>34721160It takes practice and effort, but the upside is that everyone can reach a state of love and contentment. Everyone has the ability to make themselves impartial, which means everyone has the ability to live in love. You can do it, so long as you keep trying.
Love yourself first. Sounds cheesy but who can really love if you dont love yourself. Youre not fully detached if you still want something out of life. Take a step back and figure out who you really are. If you love the person you see, good. If you dont then thats where you need to begin
>>34720492As >>34723464 says, >Love yourself first.Being too dependant on what your surrounding feels about you isn't healthy, and you'll never be able to feel comfortable with anyone that way. Try to spend time with yourself to find your inner peace. Start by taking a walk alone, without any music or distraction but your own thoughts. Then, you can travel alone, eat out alone, watch a movie alone. Enjoy the small things in life, as they say. I think that unlike some animal species, we, as humans, don't have to always live in groups to survive. Our "intelligence" allows us to do much more than just worrying about other's feelings. Love is a beautiful thing, but it can also be cruel. I understand. It's gonna be hard at the start, but once you will get used to spend time alone and enjoying things by yourself, that's when you'll have taken one step forward in your life. I truly wish that for you.
>>34720492You seem pretty cool.
>>34720492I know exactly how you're feeling, bro
