I love him, but he’s a fucking trainwreck.The guy is 39 and still lives with us. He doesn’t work, doesn’t study, and doesn’t even wake up for breakfast. We literally have to drag him out of bed or he’ll sleep until 2 pm. Sometimes I get up to piss at 3 am and hear him whispering to some online e-girl or whatever the fuck in his room. He only leaves his cave to eat, then goes right back to hoard plates and dirty mugs in there.The only productive thing he does is sports. He plays soccer and he’s actually insane at it. insanely athletic and a solid 8/10 in looks, a total chad on paper. But he wastes his entire life playing fucking League of Legends on a toaster laptop. I reluctantly shared my steam account with him just so his brain wouldn’t completely rot from playing only League, but he still plays till 5 am.I try to get him into other hobbies, like drawing (he used to be great at it), but he won't budge. He won't even go to the grocery store, always makes me go instead.I’m 24, finishing college, and about to start working. My parents are incredibly soft on him but strict as hell with me. He almost died at birth, so I guess they’ve babied him into becoming this unproductive slug. All my other siblings moved out and made something of themselves despite the struggles.I’m moving out soon and I want to throw a bucket of cold water over his head before I completely wash my hands of him and make him not my fucking problem.How do I force some reality into this 39yo toddler before I leave?
>>34720849>But he wastes his entire life playing fucking League of Legends on a toaster laptop.Give him resources on video game addiction or at the very least no more league (or mobas). Also needs to buckle up because being a NEET at 39 is a lot worse than being a neet at 19. Being athletic and good looking is pretty good. Does he talk to people in person?>. My parents are incredibly soft on him but strict as hell with me. He almost died at birth, so I guess they’ve babied him into becoming this unproductive slug. All my other siblings moved out and made something of themselves despite the struggles.Talk to your parents and give your opinion, they need to stop babying him.
leave and succeed?why do you want to hurt someone?is this what they call izzat?
>>34720849You're repeating the mistakes of your parents. You are assuming responsibility over his life after he hit the age of 18. Leave him to his life, it's his to waste. I know that doesn't sound like the best advice you will hear, but the reason why he's still like that is because he's had smothering enabling parents. It doesn't matter if you call him names or threaten him with bad futures to scare him straight, the message he will receive from that is "other people control my fate, not me." And he will just sit on his ass like he isn't the driver of his life, only a passenger.The only thing that can help men at this point is destitution and despair, he needs to face consequences of his inaction. That's how I stopped being like that myself. Whether that's working up a debt that can't be paid, destroying yourself with substance abuse, or going broke and near homelessness. Life needs to kick his ass before he understands it. So just leave him be. If he ever needs help after he falls from grace, only then can you offer it but not before
>>34720863>they need to stop babying him.my mom also domesticated my brother and nothing bad happensi also get to see my brother when i go visit my mom which is pretty cool, like a special exotic pet
>>34720913>my mom also domesticated my brother and nothing bad happensWhen your mom kicks the bucket, what is he gonna do?
You really can't do anything it's your parents that don't force him to work and contribute to the house and feeding himself that is enabling him to inaction.This is their problem.
>>34720863I've brought this up several times. My father insists that, because my brother almost died, he felt indebted to the universe or something. He survived a very strange illness related to a near-total deficiency of white blood cells, his survival was an extreme statistical anomaly. My brother speaks in person almost exclusively to the guys we usually play soccer with; we have a relatively large group of friends who play.
>>34720920something fun, i'm surehe can have the whole inheritance i don't want to fight with family about money
>>34720943I think your parents need to start asking themselves how he's going to fend for himself when they are dead.
>>34720943Appeal to their emotions and come at it from a place of love. Tell them how you just want the best for him and for him to experience more than just playing league all day. You just want to set him up for success so he can enjoy his life in the future when they are gone.
>>34720943Has anyone dragged him to an ADHD evaluation?
>>34721078No, but it wouldn't be surprising if he had ADHD. I also don't think it 'explains' his condition. I'm pretty sure I have it too, and to a greater degree, maybe even some kind of shit like Asperger's, but I try my best to be a functional human being who enjoys getting the most out of life.
>>34720849Why should he grow up when he has people around him that are happy for him to continue being a child?
He's probably not going to change. Maybe the best thing you could do for him is hook him up with a woman who makes good money so he gets out of his parents house and find a new leech target. He could make some career woman happy and provide her with kids before her eggs shrivel up.
Nobody is going to change significantly at the age of 39
>>34721880All-or-nothing thinking, over generalization. Someone at 39 has much, much more capacity to change than someone who’s 79. The window of opportunity might narrow, but it doesn’t close. And he is still a rational being who makes decisions *within a given environment*. That’s the key. His environment is hasn’t forced him to behave any differently for as long as he’s lived. This fact is far more relevant than his age.
>>34720849hate when people diagnoze others over the internet but he sounds like he's autistic or a complex personality disorder
He has to figure it out on his own.
>>34721242>>34721905I agree with anon, but the description of your brother's behavior sounds like giga ADHD esp. the inattentive type like me. I got diagnosed at 32 which fucking sucks. Your parents are treating him like he's r*tarded (look at people's actions vs. their words) but that's not something they'll admit. If he has the ability to excel at a sport and navigate the social aspect, he can accomplish things. But can he do anything that doesn't provide a dopamine boost?
>>34720849He's 39. Don't waste the time and effort on the bucket of water just go. He MIGHT change if he's forced to after your parents die but the only way to make him change is to make staying the same unbearable and you don't have the power to do that to him.
>>34720849Have you ever heard the word ENABLER? Why should he change when he has it so soft? Kick him out.
>>34720849usually when people are that dysfunctional it's because something fucked up their psychology and/or reward pathways not because unironically enjoy being a worthless piece of shit
>>34721978This. You can't help people that don't want to help themselves.>>34720909>The only thing that can help men at this point is destitution and despair, he needs to face consequences of his inaction.This. He needs a serious wake up call, a catastrophic event that simply can't be ignored, to change his ways and get a job. That is not your job. Just let it go.
>>34720849>NEET>Wakes up late>only leaves his cave to eat>then goes right back to hoard plates and dirty mugs in there.>does sport>good at soccer>wastes his life on a toaster computer>was good at drawing as a child>don't like going outside>soft parents>He almost died at birthLiterally me, I'm just not 39, way younger, and don't whisper to e-girls at 3am.I'd say, from me knowing myself, that he probably has a mental state that makes his mind work in a different way compared to normal people. I'm literally like him, and I don't seem to find a solution, I tried many times solving this, I even got more productive and stopped being a bum for weeks, sometimes months, but it's inevitable that I return to this state, because it's like I feel more comfortable in this life even if I feel like shit every hour and I need to cope with slop to not go insane.I need specifics to know exactly why your brother is this way, but generally, he's not retarded or something like that, his mind is different, he's probably smart and talented, and has a hunger for the prizes of the universe, but he probably got hooked into gayming and synthetic prizes that got all of his energy, then this life became a habit then he gave up.Send him 2-3 years to Dagestan and forget, you're probably late, but I'm sure few months in nature without computers and MKULTRA bs he would return even better. Letting him rot in this for decades was the real problem here.Or he's just retarded and there's nothing you can do about it, you know better.As a last note, make sure he isn't a Vulnerable Narcissist, because those tend to become afraid of the real world and cave themselves. Research about it.
>>34720913HAHAHA LIKE DOES HE HAVE ECHOLALIA LIKE A PARROT?YOUR BROTHER'S A PARROT?How'd your daddy stick his hot dog in a bird
