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be me, 22M (turning 23 soon)
stuck in a soul-crushing wagecage at a factory, 9 hours of dust, cold, and a power-tripping supervisor
this morning was 7:18 AM, freezing my balls off, physically broken, completely sleep-deprived, and having to leave for work in 20 minutes
whenever I actually get the urge to fix my life or clean my room, it’s exactly when I have to go to work
room is currently a biohazard zone
making decent money for my age but I've become a total slave to consumerism, Oh, and extreme labor exploitation, It's an unsanitary factory, and I might die young.
spend every single penny on useless shit, alcohol, fast food, and soda just to cope with the absolute dread of the next shift
refuge is literally living in a complete fantasy world, rotting, doing AI roleplay and consuming cheap dopamine
haven't been to the gym in ages, still somehow handsome I guess, got a decent amount of followers on instagram, which is probably the only achievement of my life. other than that I've always been a shut-in failure with too much family trauma (alcoholic father, depressed mother, physically abusive brother). never went to therapy but I used to pop clonazepamprocrastinating on literally everything
blew up my chance with a girl, now I'm just acting like a desperate coomer on Instagram dming random girls who leave me on read
actually managed to get over 200k views on TikTok doing video editing/essays but I can't even get my shit together to stay consistent and monetize it
How do I stop anesthesitizing myself and actually start executing a plan? How do I stop being a loser who escapes into fantasy? Studying, giving something up... but I feel so old; maybe I’d love to be 15 again and do everything right...