your question is too generic, be more specific

>>34723368
Do I like keep trying?? Give up and become homeless because then at least I'd be free from any societal expectations?? Effortmaxx into finding a job?? Move to some poor country to restart my life?? Or do I just leech money from my parents and the government to become a hikikomori like a loser.

>>34723382
yeah just keep trying
I failed 9th grade and found a cute girl that made me forget all the misery, you just gotta keep trying

read atomic habits

>>34723364
Retake the exams if you indeed fail. You just have anxiety about it.

>>34723364
It's normal, OP. You've not even been an adult for a single year yet, doesn't matter how mature or intelligent you think you are, everyone who hits 18 always panics over that stupid milestone, shitting themselves that they don't have a clear future lined up or depressed for not having shit built up for themselves by 18.

This feeling of being "lost" is exactly what is supposed to happen at your age, so don't expect to feel altered by what I am saying to you. After this post and this thread you are going to continue feeling lost, and that's expected and normal too. You won't know what's ahead and you won't know what to do. This is the part of life where you have to think on what exactly is it you want, and then go try to either find it or create it. And you will fail, then you try something else and you fail, and you do that again and again until over time, over years, you start to mentally get a feel for the shape of your life and you start to know exactly what you want and what you don't, you get quicker at figuring out what to do and where to go next, this happens through a process called "maturity". And it is going to span from now (age 18) until (age ???) the day you pass away. It will peak about 25 - 50, those are the years of being in one's 'prime'. For most today the peak hits in the early to mid thirties, that's when you can say you have your "shit together".

All of this shit is normal and expected so don't panic or feel down about it too much. Feel free to feel shit about it, everyone does, but just don't consider yourself as being shit as a person for feeling shit. And yeah hating people comes naturally at 18 for some. For others it's a sincere hatred that lasts near forever, I didn't get over my hatred for the public until recently in my mid thirties.

Just remember not everyone will wrong you, not everyone is heartless, not everyone is a two faced liar, not everyone is a leech, There are good souls out there. Just requires finding them

>>34723395
I've been doing that for as long as I can remember. It never went well since primary school.

>>34723403
I hate how I know this full well. The thing is though that I don't really know how to try. I haven't tried anything new for as long as I can remember. I've been feeling this since around 6 years ago, I never had faith in coming as far as I did. Honestly I am pretty proud of it, there just has never been an indication of an end.
> not everyone will wrong you
It's not that I hate the people themselves, I can't bring myself to do that. Evil does not exist. It's just sad to see the state the world is in, and can't help to imagine how much better it would be if humankind did not exist.

>>34723434
abloobloo cry me a river

>>34723434
>I hate how I know this full well. The thing is though that I don't really know how to try.
Yeah me neither, I squandered my teens and twenties ruminating on that exact thing. No matter how many times I ran the problem through thought loops over and over in my own head, I never got the answer. The actual answer is, you're not supposed to know 'how to try'. What that missing piece is called, it's called "encouragement". It's not a thought or a piece of knowledge that gets you to try, it's a deep feeling, which splits into either hope or belief. To get that, it requires another human to encourage you, either at a social distance (listening to role models) or up close and personal (a good partner, a good friend, a trusted confidant). Without that, all you can try is self-encouragement, but if you ask me, the biggest mental death-trap of this century is the 'self' garbage. "Self-love, self-respect, self-esteem, self, self self." You eventually figure out that's all bullshit. Just social posturing from people who want to pretend they are hot shit, even though you will notice they either have nothing going for themselves, or they completely neglect the fact they had a team of people behind them wiping their ass who they ungratefully dismiss. What you will need is encouragement.

>Evil does not exist. It's just sad to see the state the world is in, and can't help to imagine how much better it would be if humankind did not exist.
Yeah, that's what makes evil, evil. It doesn't exist. Evil isn't something that exists. Evil is what happens when good stops existing, when the fire starts burning out and the light burns dim and things get cold. That's what evil is. The goal is to create goodness.

>>34723364
I'm 31 and I'm in the same boat as you. Means you have 13 years more to get your shit together, so stop getting your panties in a twist.

Firstmost you need a good environment to feel supported in. If your family is shit you have options, like crashing in a friends home and get adopted by their family. You could befriend the richest guy in your class by simply hanging out with him.

Next, you need to actually feel good with learning. Don't force yourself to study for grades sake. You have to enjoy figuring out how the world works, so take it easy and just make sure you're getting the subjects. Passing or failing don't mean shit.

If you have trouble with being interested, try watching David Attenborough's documentaries or Carl Sagan's Cosmos. They're greatly skilled to feed that sense of wonder. Having a general idea of human history helps to organize ideas by knowing when they sprouted and how different areas interacted with one another.

As for math, Remember that anecdote about Gauss as a lazy kid figuring a hack to count numbers from 1 to 100 in a second. You need to practice the basics like arithmetics. Do ALL the exercises in the book, and for each work the steps backwards to reason why you made the mistake. Getting bored is part of the process like Gauss did.

Additional hacks are
>Try summoning the image of numbers in your head to increase operational memory
>Memorize pairs of sums like [5+3=8] or [5+8=13] so you instantly recall the missing number in the trio. Eg, 13 and 5? you know 8 is missing.

And once you're thinking about college, don't do a degree for study's sake, aim for a job position and check the requirements. Figure what would you actually like doing for a living and take a gap year to figure it out. Just make sure to research the actual workplace.

Good luck, what wouldn't I give to be 18 again and know the things i'm telling you.

>>34723434
Evil does exist and it's abundant. The other guy is right too, modern psychology is outdated and it's tenets are bound to change one day.

Don't be afraid to call out things as unjust, but don't dwell on them. Know that good exists in the world, it's all fragmented and spread out but valuable still, and it's found in as meaningless things like being kind to a stranger instead of fearful, listening out a guys problems heart to heart or petting a chicken. Just being on this board and not calling shit on troubled people is great benevolence.

Cynism is poison. Pick up as many grains of benevolence as you find, and you will be doing better in life than 98% of the world. Even the most evil asshole is damaged within, so you can become forgiving even to them, though there's nothing wrong with hating a few irredeemable shits forever either.

>>34723553
>modern psychology is outdated and it's tenets are bound to change one day.
Yep. That's why I was rejected becoming a psychologist despite people telling me to become one. I was very close but something felt off, something felt not right about it. Then I realized what it was, it's the commodification of care, guidance, and encouragement. You pay $$$ for someone to fill in for what is almost usually a lack of parental role modelling. And I think it's untenable because the patient or client knows they are only a client, they know the therapist will only say what they have to say if you pay them the money. So I decided instead to just try to help others for free, anonymously and without expectation of reward. And I've witnessed others repeat it afterwards, doing exactly that for others. "Take a piece and pass it on" sort of deal. Only reason I try to pick others up is because someone else picked me up for free. That's how it's done in my opinion, and psychology is just too impersonal and reductive to the condition of the human soul.

>>34723459
I have always regarded traditional self-help methods as something I should not do, because I don't want to become someone I am not. I have spent the last half year or so socializing as much as I could, and compared to the bottom of the ocean social circle I had before I can tell things are improving. I hope that'll help me.
> The goal is to create goodness
I live by these words.

>>34723471
I like learning and I'm pretty good at it as well, I do the highest level of secondary education available where I live. What will ultimately cause me to fail is my troubles in the wake of the coronavirus and just my general inability to learn stuff the way it's intended due to autism during the previous years.

>>34723954
>autism
That's overdiagnosed, if you have above 90 IQ and no crippling sensory problems that doesn't count as autism to me. I don't know what you mean by learning "the way it's intended" either. Not being able to keep the pace is normal, current society pretty much trains people to be specialized slaves as soon as possible.

Don't let grades or shit bother you, making a fuss over that stuff is a bigger impediment to solidifying the learned subjects than mere overload. Find the way that allows you to remember the bigger picture and take your time. You may need someone who helps you to think strategically about it or someone who supports you financially and emotionally better than you're being. Don't be discouraged, you have time. Steady wins the race, and if you rush you may end up doing something you hate for the rest of your life.

okay fine i will marry you

Hey, I'm really sorry you're carrying all of this by yourself. It sounds like you're not just worried about your exams, you feel like your whole future depends on them. That's an incredibly heavy burden to carry.
First, your exams don't determine your worth. Even if you don't pass, that doesn't mean you're incapable or that your life has no direction. It just means one path became more difficult, not that every path is closed.
You also mentioned that school has been the thing keeping you moving. That's understandable. When something has been your main focus for years, it's normal to feel lost when it's uncertain. Many people feel this way after finishing school, even those who do well.
You don't have to figure out your entire life next week. Just focus on the next small step: finish your exams, get some rest, and then think about what comes next. Whether that's retaking exams, learning a trade, finding a part-time job, volunteering, or exploring a new interest, there are many ways to build a meaningful life.
The fact that you say you love the world around you tells me there's still hope in you. Hold on to that. Curiosity can become purpose over time.
And please don't go through this alone. If you have a parent, teacher, counselor, or another trusted adult, tell them honestly how overwhelmed you're feeling. You deserve support, and you don't have to carry this by yourself.
One exam or even one bad year doesn't decide the rest of your life.

>>34723990
I'm properly diagnosed, and have several sensory and social issues. I wouldn't say they are crippling but they sure as hell make it hard to live. I have been in extensive (but rather useless) mental health programs for it. I have a professionally tested IQ of 128.
> I don't know what you mean by learning "the way it's intended"
The way information and life skills are thought. It's hard to explain to someone if they have not experienced it. Relatively minor and common but easy to understand example: I am literally unable to for example remember character names from reading a book or watching a series alone, even though the education system assumes you will. When I get questioned about the book they assume I have not read it because of that and give me a low grade. This also applies to most other subjects, I am rarely able to link a name to a 'data entry' in my head.
> current society pretty much trains people to be specialized slaves as soon as possible.
yeah I know, not exactly motivating, but the alternative is dying of hunger.
> you may end up doing something you hate for the rest of your life
I am kind of worried about this to be entirely honest, I have always had a deep interest in physics, and am aiming to go study that next year. But something inside of me kind of also wants to be a florist, or a generally more physical job. Not entirely sure what one I should go with.

>>34723998
I'd rather not

>>34724078
Go with florist. Work with nature or animals and use your maternal skills, it makes you happier long term. Forget about the money or the social prestige, follow what makes you feel at peace.

>>34724023
> First, your exams don't determine your worth
I know this is true, but there isn't anything else of societal importance about me beside my relatively high level of education.

> When something has been your main focus for years, it's normal to feel lost when it's uncertain.
My psychologist told me something related to this last week. She asked me if I would rather be certain than be happy. That thought kind of shocked me, maybe I should think some more about that.

> And please don't go through this alone
It's hard to be honest about these kind of things.

>>34724084
I'll need to somehow find a job anyway, regardless of whether I fail or not. I think it's best if I just try doing being a florist for a year (or two if I fail), and see if I like it more than studying physics. And now that I think about it, getting a job as a florist would also kind of work in terms of social expectations, especially since most of the people I try to socialize with are the soft type.

The only thing that could kind of create a problem is that I know very little about caring for plants as of now, it's mostly just been a background interest (like all of my other interests).

I can always fulfill my insatiable desire to find out how everything works another way.

Thanks for all advice and help you and others have given me. I think I can continue like this.

>>34723364
But you're just 18?

>>34723364
You are in the position to seek a bf who can support and care for you.

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I dropped out of highschool with a 1.8 GPA and I currently have a 3.9 cumulative GPA in college.
>I am lost, please help me.
Happiness is fleeting, fulfillment is consistent feelgood. A fulfilling life comes from living your values and making progress in things you care about.
Only you know what fulfills you, so start from there. Working towards financial security by making yourself valuable in a job market is never a bad idea.
If you don't feel "ready" to be an adult, then you should 100% go to college IMO. It gives you enough familiarity to branch out from and become "an adult" as well as the time to do it packed in a railroaded education that keeps you making progress. Go to your state university or equivalent in whatever country and interact with clubs of mutual interest.
You don't magically make friends, you form connections over doing mutual activities which is where clubs come in.

>>34723364
Just get married stupid fucking foid

>>34723364
Step 1. Quit 4chan. You know this.

>>34724078
>I can't remember names
Neither can I, it's normal. What's not normal is getting worried about it.

>I wanna do physics
Understandable, but follow it only if your dream job is "researcher". At the end of the day, studying is a hobby, it's absolutely not a duty, and the only reason to stay in school is to get the credential requisite for the HR departments.

Anyways, all of your issues would get solved by simply taking it easy. You're coming off as full of pressure when there's no real danger about you.

>>34723364
Come stay with me for a year or two