how do i crawl back to mediocrity at 36yo with no friends, family, confidence ambition or desires after facing total psychological annihilation? Let me explain. I had every opportunity, tall, good looking, intelligent etc. Girls didn't just like me, I was a part kind of celebrity, sometimes my energy was so high people would flock around me. I had an 'aura', and vibrant energy. This was inspite of physical childhood abuse and then later abandonment at 14. I never really got over it, I started smoking weed and never was able to quit. My bestfriend jumped in front of a train, my only brother and I don't speak even after him being in a serious accident and losing his leg. I moved away when I don't know anyone and isolate myself in my house. Tried different small businesses but I have a mood problem and can't interact with others. I'm now on a disability pension and mow an occassional lawn and mostly watch TV all day and thats it.
>>34725780>I’m a weak loser full of excuses with a massive egoMaybe try not being that. Get help if you’re actually struggling with mental illness. I believe in you.
My mother completely ruined my family. I watched her destroy my father, then she came after me. At 18 she had me totally consumed in rage. After she ruined me she ruined my brother, some women just destroy men for fun. The women really breaks or makes the man. My mother is my worst enemy. I feel she is a toxic and poisonous person even from a young age. Like a mother snake who could eat me because im a baby. They are evil Gnostics/ masons who spy on people, keep tabs on everyone, live in small towns and ruin peoples repuations because they have nothing better to do.
>>34725781Fucking kill yourself faggot, i bet your dad taped your
>>34725783Tapped your ass really lighly or not at all. You wern't kicked headfirst into brickwalls while you were still wearing napppies. i will kill you
>>34725783Lash out at me all you want, but you know what I said is true.
>>34725785No I won't be utilising your advice you weak nobody faggot
>>34725786You came here for advice. Would you rather me have lied and said, “You’ll magically get your life back on track if you reach 20,000 izzat”?This behaviour of yours is the problem. You deflect, make excuses, and have an incredibly off-putting ego.I’m anonymous. You’re insulting no one, and hurting yourself.
>>34725787It's not "ego".i'm well transcended past that stage in my methaphysical journey. I was a junior celebrity but my life was ruined by the hidden hand from a young age. They even pulled me aside and did experiments on me in primary school, I could of chose to go with a different mother in the grocery store if I chose to. I was the golden child, I was magnetic.
>>34725788https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ego
>>34725787>cringy /pol/ buzzwords>u r loser hurr>muh adviceDamn, what an insufferable dweeb you are. People like you get punched really quick IRL. That's why you all hang out on /pol/. Go back there, you subhuman
>>34725790>angry IndianYou can’t shame away making fun of you lmfao.
>>34725780this is a great list of problems for you to work on. apologies, but that's what you have to do now - work on each of them. mend your relationship with your brother, quit weed (i know how hard this can be, i did it), fix your attitude problem, and find leisure that expands you instead of watching tv. you have an immense opportunity ahead of you, seize it or perish.remember: marginal improvement is better than none, you don't have to fix it all at once. when the ball is rolling nothing else will feel as good as rolling it further.
>>34725780>started smoking weeddamn. that sucks. I was hooked reading your stuff, until that part.weed is THE npc drug, and for that reason I'm out
>>34725780>>34725788>I feel I'm meant for more, I was magnetic when I was a teenager, people loved me for no reason, I should be amazing again>I'm well transcended beyond ego you fucking faggot that must have gotten fucked by your dad because you insulted me
>>34725787this.but OP you are holding yourself to standards i don't think you'd even want. to you want the constant mental and monetary cost friends and family bring right now.do you want to give all your time to the man just to satisfy some toll to the world that doesn't really exist.or you could let something possess you and take the wheel for awhile
>>34725788me too, I was subjected to it aswell and they did my motor/social skills in at 8.5 and again at 11 -14.Not to mention the weird infanting around those ages, compared to the other kids(having to go to bed early, not seeing me as a mid schooler).
youre in babel anon. be a fish in a school.
>>34725780>This was inspite of physical childhood abuse and then later abandonment at 14.It was because of those things and can be seen as an expression of your mental issues and trauma. The fact that girls just happened to not like a tall, good looking charismatic man could have tipped you off to the fact that something was not quite right even back then. Seek therapy so you can have actual and healthy interpersonal relationships.
